My Ex's Wedding: A Fake Boyfriend Romance

by Annabelle Costa

  So yes, there are some challenges. But I can deal. He’s worth it.

  “Do you want to get some food?” I ask him. I’m always too nervous to eat before I do a show, then when it’s over, I pig out.

  “Sounds great,” he says.

  I grin at him. “What’s your favorite kind of French fry?”

  We still play the Favorites game every time we’re together. I want to know everything about him. I can’t believe fries have never been part of the game up till now. It’s something we need to correct immediately.

  “Curly,” he says.

  “Curly is good but I prefer steak cut.”

  “Yeah, but you’re wrong then.” He shakes his head. “Curly fries are the best fries. Obviously.”

  “You’re so full of it.” I wink at him. “Just for that, I’m making you eat like five steak cut fries.”

  “Hey, I like steak cut fries. They’re just not as good as curly fries.”

  One thing that’s improved a lot in the last month is Alex isn’t nearly as self-conscious about being fed in public. I don’t think he used to go out to dinner very often before I came along, but I like eating out, even if it’s just dollar pizza. So he’s quickly getting desensitized.

  Also, he says he loves the way I feed him. Which is perfect, because I love feeding him.

  “Listen,” Alex says quietly, “don’t freak out, but Blake Howard is walking over here.”

  My heart speeds up. Oh my God, I’m freaking out. “He is?”

  “Yeah. Stop freaking out. You were great.”

  I crane my neck around just in time to see Blake Howard come to a halt behind me. He’s got his hair slicked back like last time, and he’s wearing one of his expensive suits. The first thing he does is smile at me, which I take as a good sign. That email from him was the first I’d heard from him since Vegas, and I assumed I had no shot after wrecking Isabelle and Parker’s wedding. Although Doug let us know that Parker is not terribly broken up about being left at the altar and is back to his old tricks at Coleman. And since Isabelle and I now text regularly and have gotten together for drinks twice in the last month, I know she’s doing fine.

  Blake leans his elbow against the chair next to mine. “This seat taken?”

  I force a smile. “Be my guest.”

  He slides into the seat, a smile spreading across his face. “Good to see you again, Nellie.” He looks at Alex. “And you must be the boyfriend with the handicapped stall issues, I assume.”

  “Guilty as charged,” Alex says. “Wasn’t she great up there?”

  Shut up.

  “She was,” Blake agrees. “And it looks like a pretty full house tonight. That your doing, Nellie?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know.”

  “She’s being modest,” Alex says. “It’s always like this at her shows now.”

  He’s not wrong. That video of me and Parker went viral, and ever since, I’ve gained a little bit of notoriety. I’ve used it to parlay a few more paying gigs, to the point where I’ve been able to get by with only my bartending gig. Nobody’s inviting me on Jimmy Fallon yet, but it’s the biggest leap I’ve made in my career in six years.

  “Well, I was impressed,” Blake says.

  He was? Blake Howard was impressed? Oh my God, this is huge!

  Unless he’s just being nice. But then he wouldn’t have come over here, would he?

  “And,” he continues, “I’d like to offer you a regular paid gig.”

  My heart leaps. Oh my God, he wasn’t just being nice! He really thought I was funny! “You would?”

  He grins at me. “As long as it won’t traumatize you to work at a club a few blocks from the Venetian.”

  A few blocks from the Venetian…

  “You want me at a club in Vegas,” I murmur.

  He nods. “It’s what’s available right now. Are you interested?”

  “I…” I squeeze my hands together and look at Alex, who looks as rattled as I feel. He and I have only been together for just over a month, but I don’t think there’s anything I’d miss about this city as much as him.

  “I’m not sure,” I say to Blake. “It’s… a big move. I… I have to think about it…”

  “What are you talking about, Nellie?” Alex hisses at me. “You should take it! This is your opportunity!”

  “Yeah, but…” I lower my voice. “If I move…”

  If I move to Vegas, it’s over between us, and he knows it. There’s not going to be any long-distance relationship. I could come back to New York occasionally, but he can’t exactly pop over to Vegas. Traveling is too hard for him. It just wouldn’t work. And we haven’t been together long enough to keep it going long distance. Not really.

  “I know…” His brows knit together and an incredibly sad look comes over his face. “But this is what you’ve always wanted. You need to take the job.”

  God, why is life so full of impossible decisions?

  “I want to work at your club,” I tell Blake. “But I can’t leave New York. Isn’t there something here?”

  “This is what I’ve got.” Blake frowns at me. “I suggest you take it.”

  “Nellie,” Alex says. “You’ve got to take this. If you don’t, you’ll regret it.”

  I know what he’s doing. He doesn’t want me to give up anything for him and then resent him. Except I don’t think I’ll regret this decision. I believe if I leave New York, I’ll regret it. After all, I’ve only spent six years trying to make it as a comedian, but I’ve spent over a decade looking for a guy like Alex.

  “OH MY GOD!” A screechy voice cuts into my internal monologue. There’s a girl with purple hair walking over to us, pointing in my direction. “It’s her! It’s the girl from the video! The one who dumps champagne over that asshole’s head!”

  I can’t help but smile, despite everything. There’s nothing like being recognized by strangers for one of the most badass things I ever did. I love this.

  The girl with purple hair stops at our table and stares at me like I’m a celebrity. Another thing I love. “I can’t believe it’s you. I’ve watched that video like twenty times! I forwarded it to all my friends!”

  “Well, thanks,” I say.

  Alex grins at the girl. “For the record, I was paying her to be my date that night.”

  “But not anymore,” I quickly add.

  The purple-haired girl laughs. “Whatever! I just wanted to let you know how much that video inspired me to stand up to all the assholes in my life. My friends and I are planning to go to all your shows from now on. We’re telling everyone we know how amazing you are.”

  I flash Blake a pointed look. “I appreciate that.”

  The girl gushes over me for several more minutes, and I eat it up. I love internet fame. I’m sure in another month or two, the video will be forgotten, but for the time being, it’s bringing in the crowds. And you know what? If Blake doesn’t want me, someone else will. I’m confident. Anyway, I’m going to keep trying. Maybe I can have it all.

  When the girl leaves the table, Blake is staring in her direction, a thoughtful expression on his face. I can’t read the guy—at all. Honestly, I thought I’d never hear from him again after that fateful night.

  “Well,” Blake says, “it was a pretty awesome video.” He grins at me. “Parker’s had that coming for years.”

  Alex laughs. “You don’t have to tell us.”

  “Okay, Nellie.” Blake rubs at the back of his neck. “You’ve got talent and you can draw in crowds. I’ve got a club in Brooklyn that’s got an opening. Hip place—very up and coming. I thought you’d be a better fit in Vegas, but if you want to stay here, I’ll keep you here.”

  I stare at him. “Are you serious?”

  Blake holds out his hand to me. “What do you say?”

  Without hesitation, I reach out and shake Blake Howard’s hand.

  I look at Alex, who is beaming at me. I can’t stop myself from jumping up and flinging myself into his lap while he laughs.
God, I love being close to him. I would have chosen him over my career, but I don’t have to choose. I get the man I’ve fallen in love with and the job of my dreams. Who would have thought dumping a glass of champagne over some douchebag’s head would get me everything I wanted in life?

  Alex

  I wonder…

  Does Nellie remember the story I told her yesterday about my new care assistant with the purple hair?

  THE END

  Dear readers,

  Thank you so much for reading My Ex’s Wedding! If you enjoyed the book and the characters, it would help me tremendously to get a review on Amazon. If you are not an author, you may not realize it, but those things mean the world to me and convince other readers to take a chance on my book. Please. To make it ridiculously simple, here is a link you can click on to review:

  https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?asin=B088NGRYWV

  And as always, I would love to hear from you at razberripie@gmail.com.

  Thank you once again to all my readers!

  Annabelle Costa

  P.S. Keep reading for a book excerpt after the acknowledgments!

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to my chick lit group for the cover feedback! Thank you to Avery Kingston for being my first beta reader. Thank you to J. Saman for being an eternal source of no-nonsense feedback and support. Thank you to Molly Mirren, who is always a source of great feedback and good grammar and finding pesky typos.

  Now turn the page for an excerpt from my book, My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend…

  My Perfect Ex-Boyfriend

  Lily is in rare form on the Amtrak train down to Maryland.

  It’s like she read a magazine article before the trip on how best to annoy your parents during a long train ride. First she’s hungry. That’s an easy one—we feed her. Then she’s sick to her stomach from the food she just ate and wants me to fix it somehow. Then she’s bored. So bored. Soooo boooooored. I brought a stack of activity books for the train, but none of them hold the slightest interest for her. She starts kicking the seat in front of her, oblivious to the glares from the passenger unfortunate enough to be sitting there.

  Now, with twenty minutes left until we arrive at the Baltimore station, Lily has gotten stuck in an endless loop. For the last hour, every five minutes, she has asked, “Are we there yet?”

  I thought kids saying “are we there yet” was one of those stereotypes about kids that doesn’t really happen. But I assure you, it does really happen. Over and over and over. And there’s no way to stop it. No way for me to say “not yet” or give her a sense of the arrival time that will keep her from asking.

  “Are we there yet?” Lily whines.

  “Not yet, Lily!” snaps my father. Even he’s lost his patience with her.

  Lily’s never been yelled at before by Grandpa, and immediately, her little heart-shaped face crumples. And now she’s wailing hysterically. She’s six years old and she’s louder than the newborn infant two rows down. I’m scared someone’s going to throw us off this moving train.

  Dad is profusely apologizing for his outburst when my cell phone rings. I see Theo’s number on the screen and consider not answering. I’m not in the mood for Theo right now. Well, I’m never in the mood for Theo, but especially not now. But then again, it will be a break from the monotony of this ride and Lily’s screaming.

  “Hello?” I answer.

  “Hey, Bailey,” he says. “I was just thinking about taking Lily out for dinner tonight. Maybe we could go see Catdog.”

  “Dogcat,” I correct him, although I’m not sure why.

  “Sure—that,” Theo says.

  “Too late,” I say. “I already took her last weekend after you bailed.”

  “Fine,” Theo says. “I’ll take her to some other movie.”

  “Sorry,” I say, even though I don’t feel at all sorry. “We’re taking a trip to Maryland for the week. We’re actually almost there.”

  “What?” Theo has a temper. It’s one of the many, many things I’ve come to dislike about him. And it’s flaring up right now. “You never told me you were taking Lily to Maryland!”

  “It didn’t even occur to me that you’d care,” I reply honestly.

  “You’re supposed to tell me when you take Lily on a trip!”

  “Yeah, well, you’re supposed to pay me child support.”

  Theo snorts. “Are you trying to shame me, Bailey? You know I pay what I can.”

  Yeah, and that’s apparently nothing.

  “Look,” I say, “I don’t know what to tell you, Theo. We’re nearly in Baltimore.”

  “Are you going with some guy?” he growls. “Is that what this is about?”

  Ha. That’s so far from the truth, it’s depressing. But I’m not going to tell him about my father and offer any window into my life.

  “It’s none of your business,” I say.

  “The hell it’s not!” Theo yells. “Lily is my daughter! You can’t just jet her off wherever you want with your… your man-whore!”

  Back when Theo and I were married, I had to listen to him scream his head off at me when his temper was flaring. Fortunately, we’re not married anymore. So I can click the “end” button and our conversation is over. He calls me back immediately, but I put my phone on “silent” and shove it back in my purse. If only I could temporarily put Lily on “silent,” this would be a great trip.

  I hear the conductor announcing overhead that the next stop is Baltimore. I breathe a sigh of relief. “How are we getting to the cabin?” I ask my father. “Do we need to call a taxi?”

  Dad shakes his head as the train whistle sounds overhead. “Gwen’s son is picking us up at the station.”

  “The son’s here?” I imagined that Gwen’s son was lending us an empty cabin to stay in. I didn’t know we were going to have to share it with the son and likely his family. Fabulous.

  Dad nods. “I haven’t met him either, so Gwen thought this would be a nice introduction for everyone. He sounds like a nice kid.”

  Kid? How old is this guy? Old enough to drive and old enough to own a place in Manhattan and a cabin in Maryland. Of course, my father probably still refers to me as a kid, so for all I know, this guy could be fifty.

  “How are we supposed to know it’s him?” I ask. “Is he going to be holding up one of those big signs that says, ‘CHAPIN’?”

  He laughs. “Maybe. I don’t know—I didn’t ask her. Apparently, he thinks he’ll be able to find us.”

  The train skids to a halt at the Baltimore station. I stand up, stretching out the crick in my neck from the long ride. Lily leaps out of her seat and smooths out the dress she’s chosen to meet her new step-grandmother-to-be. The dress has a lot of cats on it. And when I say that, you might be imagining a dress that has three or four cats on it, so let me rescue you from that delusion. Every inch of this dress is covered in multicolored pictures of cats. It’s almost dizzying how many cats are on her dress. There’s got to be, like, fifty of them. It’s her favorite dress.

  “Come on, Lily,” I say as I grab my duffel bags down from the compartment above the seats. My father was bright enough to purchase luggage on wheels, but I was apparently not. All our clothes and supplies for the week are stuffed into these two giant bags. Well, aside from the few things I fit into Lily’s miniscule backpack. I hope Gwen’s son is strong and likes carrying luggage.

  We dismount the train, my father holding Lily’s hand as I struggle with my two pieces of luggage. I really hope this guy is waiting for us and we don’t have to look everywhere for him. Dad is looking around, shading his eyes from the sun with his hand. That’s when I notice that there’s a man walking in the opposite direction of the passengers coming off the train. He’s clearly coming toward us.

  It’s very sunny and I squint to see him better. The first thing I notice is the tousled dark blond hair and strong, solid build—this is a guy who should have no trouble throwing a couple of duffel bags over his broad shoulders. As he get
s closer, I can see the muscles filling out his blue T-shirt. Damn, this guy is a hottie.

  And then his features come into better focus. The stubble on his chin. The blue eyes. The solid jaw.

  Oh my God.

  It’s Noah.

  Oh no.

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