Burning for You (Blackwater)

by Lila Veen

  “You could have visited me in Chicago,” I tell her. “The offer was always there. You never took me up on it.”

  Heidi shrugs. “I’ve always been too busy to just drop everything and go to Chicago.” Bullshit, I think, but I don’t say anything. What the hell would Heidi be so busy with in Blackwater that she couldn’t just come for a quick weekend in Chicago? But since I probably would have been annoyed by a visit from my less than amicable sister, I smile and let it go.

  “So when is your official due date,” I ask, turning to Eleanor. I came to see Heidi, but it’s a relief to have someone I actually enjoy talking to as a buffer.

  “November seventh,” Eleanor replies. “Though I’m hoping I go early. I’m so tired of feeling huge.”

  “You’ll never be huge,” I say to her. “You’re all belly.” I watch Heidi’s face darken, knowing one of the many reasons she won’t get pregnant on her own is because she doesn’t want to get fat. Not like she’d ever let that happen, but I’d worry about the health of a baby housed in my sister’s nutritionally depraved body.

  “Speaking of bellies,” Heidi cuts in, “I heard you ran out on your dinner date with Gabe last night, Leah.”

  I’m speechless, and then I recall that Gabe had mentioned he and Jack were good friends. “Well, something came up, and I had to leave.”

  “I heard you were very rude about it,” Heidi points out. “You just got up and walked out on him.”

  “Did he say I was rude?” I want to know. I’m not sure I care how Gabe feels, but Blackwater is small enough that news travels fast, as Heidi is clearly demonstrating. “I had an asthma attack, Heidi.”

  “He wouldn’t say that. Gabe isn’t rude.” She doesn’t have to say “rude like you” to imply what she really means. It’s all over her face.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I do need to call him and apologize. I’ve barely had a chance. I went home and went to bed right away because I wasn’t feeling well, and then I woke up this morning and went straight to Blackwater Memorial to apply for a job. Now I’m here because I hadn’t seen you yet and figured I should.”

  “I appreciate that,” Heidi says, “but do be sure and smooth everything over with Gabe. He’s a close friend of the family, and I’d be very uncomfortable if this was left unresolved.” Her cheeks are growing pink, and I can tell she’s getting flustered.

  “Heidi,” Eleanor speaks very gently. “Should we go to lunch now? Leah, you should join us, if you’re free.”

  “Okay,” I say tentatively, still looking at Heidi, who looks like she’s about to burst. “If it’s okay with Heidi.”

  “It’s fine,” Heidi snaps. “Of course it’s fine. Let me just freshen up and get my purse.” She walks out of the kitchen, leaving Eleanor and I alone.

  “Leah,” Eleanor whispers in a hushed tone. “I don’t know what happened last night with Gabe and why exactly you left. I don’t care. I’m just glad you got out of there. You can’t be with Gabe.”

  “Why?” I ask her suspiciously. “Because he’s a reaper?”

  Eleanor looks shocked. “You knew?”

  I nod. “I only found out on the date, when Ash Lavanne and Erika Martin came and kidnapped me.”

  Eleanor bursts out laughing. “Oh, they would. Good for them.”

  “What’s so funny?” Heidi wants to know, walking back in the kitchen.

  “Just catching up,” Eleanor offers quickly, casting me a glance. I just nod and smile at Heidi.

  We head over to Camille’s Patisserie, a coffee shop that has exquisite toasted cheese sandwiches, croissants and salads. Eleanor and I are ravenous and both get the works – salad, sandwich, and chocolate croissants for dessert. Heidi nibbles on a salad, avoiding any dressing or croutons, pretty much consuming what a rabbit would. The entire lunch consists of meaningless chatter, which doesn’t require much of my focus, and I’m free to try and process what little Eleanor has told me about Gabe.

  If Eleanor knows Gabe is a reaper, it indicates that she has some link to the crafting world. Was my best friend a crafter all along? How long had she known? She referred to Drew as her soul mate – was I dating my best friend’s catalyst all through high school? If so, I feel like the biggest schmuck in the world. Why wouldn’t anyone explain what a reaper does? It seems like everyone knows what’s going on in Blackwater except for me. I should go visit Isabel tonight. She can always give me answers, and I can ask questions without any restraint, without feeling like a clueless idiot.

  I relay a few details of my life in Chicago, mainly focusing on my job and a few of the places I lived. Carlton the cat gets a few highlights, and when I tell Heidi that he is staying with Isabel, she surprises me by saying “I would have taken him in. I love cats.” We were never allowed pets when we were growing up, so I never knew Heidi cared for animals at all. I never knew Heidi cared for anything but herself until now. Picturing Heidi with a baby is difficult, particularly when I watch her arranging her croutons in a circle around the rim of her plate, followed by a circle of olives from her salad. Separating and arranging her food is one of Heidi’s many quirks that can make for a really awkward lunch. I guess Eleanor is used to it, because she just lets it go but I’ve gone so long without seeing it happen that it bothers me more. Heidi hasn’t changed, I note, and I wonder how Jack deals with her at all.

  It’s a relief when lunch is over and Heidi drives us back to her house in her dark blue Land Rover. She is so tiny she needs to shove the seat as far forward as it can go to reach the pedals. I choose not to go back in the house with Heidi and Eleanor, giving them both hugs in the driveway and telling Eleanor that I’ll stop by. I also agree to have dinner with Heidi and Jack soon, which I’ll probably regret if I can’t put it off long enough not to let it happen.

  It’s almost two in the afternoon when I’m driving back, and I have no idea where the day went, but it’s a relief to be heading home. I’m hoping to go for a long run, then spend the evening in sweatpants and give Isabel a call. Maybe I’ll stop by her apartment and see Carlton and ask her a few questions. If I come armed with her favorite dessert, mint chocolate chip ice cream, I can drag any information out of her I need. However, when I near the house, I see that my evening is about to take a detour in the wrong direction. My heart sinks deep into the pit of my stomach.

  Michael’s car is parked in the driveway.

  Chapter 8

  I debate backing out of the driveway and driving back to Heidi’s, or just the hell out of town. That’s not really going to accomplish anything, except for prolonging the inevitable, so I do the mature thing and decide to face the situation. But first I have a good panic attack about it in my car. When I finally compose myself, I step out of Betsey, taking my portfolio and purse with me. The air is chilly and starting to get windy, almost as if a storm is coming. The dark grey sky confirms my thoughts, and dry, dead leaves whip around in the air. Still, I’m in no hurry to go inside and protect myself from the elements. I walk slowly to the front door, letting the wind take my hair out of the simple knot I twisted it in this morning and feeling it whip around my face. I let myself in and throw my purse and portfolio down on the table in the entryway.

  My mother’s voice can be heard from where I’m standing in the foyer, her shrill laugh pealing through the house. She’s entertaining him in the living room. She’s never met Michael in person, and I can’t imagine they have very much to say to each other, but my mother can be charming if she needs to be. Michael and I had a courthouse wedding, and a weekend honeymoon that was spent in the Drake hotel in Chicago overlooking Lake Michigan. It was no family affair, and neither my mother nor my sister had anything to say about it. I just assumed they would provide the same level of interest regarding my pending divorce, but apparently not. I’m tempted to breeze past them and up the stairs to my room and lock the door, but my heels clicking on the hardwood floor give me away immediately. “Leah, we’re in here,” my mother says, as if it wasn’t obvious from the way I was
trying to sneak past them.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask Michael. No formalities, no bullshit. I want him gone.

  “Leah!” my mother scolds me dramatically. I glare at her, feeling a ball of anger building up in the pit of my stomach. I have quell my temptation to clench my fists and swing at something. “I called Michael and told him you were here. I’m hoping you two can work things out together.” She sweeps her eyes over me and scowls, likely at my windblown appearance. “I’m going shopping for an hour or two, so you two can discuss whatever it is you need to discuss.” She stands up and Michael stands with her, the putative perfect gentleman. She turns around to smile at him, smoothing her black silk dress around her hips. With a strand of black pearls, she looks like she’s dressed for a funeral. “It was so nice to sit and chat with you, Michael,” she says. “I’m so glad you care enough to come when I called.”

  “Thank you Ursula,” he says. My jaw drops. He’s on a first name basis with her already? At least he didn’t try and call her “Mom” or anything. “I appreciate you calling.”

  My mother nods and walks past me, giving me a cold glance that indicates that she wants everything fixed and me out. No such luck, Mother, I think. I wait to hear the door to the garage slam shut before I whirl around and say “Get the fuck out of my house, Michael.”

  “It’s your mother’s house, Leah,” he snarls, “and she invited me.” His lips curl into a sinister smile. That smile once won me over but now I see it for what it is – manipulative and slimy. His dark hair waves back naturally from his face and curls up below his ears, and his green eyes flash hungrily in my direction. He advances on me and I shrink back, trying to keep my composure but shaking uncontrollably. Michael is a large man. Not overweight, but heavily muscled and bulky and there isn’t a thing I can do to physically protect myself from him. “We have a lot to talk about, Leah.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” I tell him. I stand behind a chair, using it as a buffer between us. “I want to talk to a lawyer and get you out of my life.”

  “Leah,” he says, putting his knees down on the cushion of the chair I’m standing behind, taking my hands in his. I pull my hands away quickly, feeling repulsed by his touch. “You can’t mean that. We can work things out. Come back home.”

  “Are you crazy?” I yell. “Work things out after what you did to me?”

  His lips twist into what looks like a grimace. “Technically I didn’t do anything.”

  “No,” I say and shake my head. “You were there. You saw it. You wanted it.”

  “I arranged it,” he says, confirming my darkest suspicions. I feel the blood rushing away from my face, feeling sick with the room beginning to spin around me. I grip the back of the chair more tightly. “And I also recorded it.”

  “You WHAT?!” I scream. I grab the nearest thing I can find, which happens to be a book sitting on an end table next to me and bring it down over his head. It’s not a very big book, and Michael only laughs. “Fuck you,” I tell him. “Get out. I don’t want to see you within fifty feet of me ever again.”

  “Didn’t you hear me?” he asks, his voice growing louder. “I recorded it, Leah. I can show it to anyone I want. I can put it up on the internet, I can send it to potential employers, and I can ruin your life.”

  “You already ruined my life,” I say. “How would this ruin it any more?”

  “Think about it, Leah,” he growls. “You want a divorce? I could use this as evidence in any divorce case. I’m not in the video, but you are, and so are other people who will testify against you. You and I may not have a lot of money, but I can see from this house that your family does. It would be a shame for them to lose that.”

  “Get the fuck out!” I shriek. I push him roughly from my side of the chair. He stands up and backs away from me, crossing his arms and smiling cruelly. “Ruin my life, I don’t care! I’m not coming back to Chicago, so you might as well go the fuck home, Michael, and forget me. I’ll get my divorce, I’ll get a lawyer, and I’ll-“ I’m interrupted by the sound of shattering glass, as the chandelier in the room erupts into a fiery explosion and crystal pieces come raining down over Michael. He lets out a cry and throws his arms up over his face. Small pieces of glass embed themselves into his arms, scratching and cutting them up into a maze of red lines. The smell in the air is unmistakably of smoke. Outside, I hear thunder rumbling. The storm has finally hit.

  “You bitch!” he screams at me, gazing at his arms with widened eyes. “You want me dead? Huh?”

  “I didn’t do it,” I say calmly, completely aghast at what just happened. I stay planted behind my chair. “I was standing right here.”

  “You’re a fucking liar,” he says, inspecting the damage on his arms more closely. He nearly turns green at the sight of his own blood. He steps backward and the crunch of glass under his feet makes him jump. I’ve never seen him look so terrified. He bolts through the doorway and I hear the front door of the house slamming behind him. The entire room illuminates with lightning from outside, and the sheets of rain that follow almost sound like falling glass.

  “Holy shit,” I say to myself, and then run out of the room to throw up.

  *

  “I’m sorry,” I say to my mother an hour later. The storm has ended and she has returned from her shopping trip to find the disaster that occurred in her living room and me still in Blackwater. We’re both standing in the entrance to the living room surveying the damage. Her face is frozen into a look of mortification and horror. “I have no idea how to even begin cleaning this up.”

  “You did this,” she says, unable to look away from the chaos. Glass is everywhere, embedded in the furniture and smashed in shards all over the floor. “You,” she repeats. “It’s your fault. I can’t believe this, Leah.”

  “It just happened!” I exclaim, finding it ridiculous that she brought my asshole ex into the house and now she’s yelling at me for a chandelier that broke without my intervention. “I didn’t touch it.”

  “You made this happen,” she says through clenched teeth, turning to me. I’ve never seen her look so angry. Usually her face is a mask to hide her feelings, but they are all completely visible now. Her ice blue eyes practically burn holes in my face from the hatred that seems to blaze from them. “You made this happen,” she repeats, “which means you’ve found your catalyst. Which means I’m never going to get you to leave Blackwater.”

  “So you admit it!” I shout, stepping back from her to make eye contact. It’s impossible when she’s standing right next to me and I’m looming over her with my height. “You’ve always tried to drive me out! I can’t believe this!”

  “Of course I’ve tried to keep you away,” she hisses. She steps a few feet into the room, skirting around the broken glass and sinks into the same chair I had stood behind an hour ago. “You have no idea, Leah, what I need to protect you from.”

  I hesitate, finding her words the complete opposite of what I have always thought to be true. “What do you mean, Mother?” I ask her quietly. I step into the room and walk directly across the broken glass, making it a point not to flinch like I’m walking directly across hot coals. I’m still wearing my interview heels and hear the glass crunch beneath them. Taking a seat across the room from my mother, I stare her down. “What do you need to protect me from? If you’re so concerned about my safety, you probably shouldn’t be throwing me back into a relationship with Michael.”

  “Whatever he’s done can’t be as bad as what will happen to you if you stay here,” my mother replies, looking away from me.

  I’m quiet for a few seconds. “I doubt that,” I finally say quietly. “You don’t even know what he’s done.”

  “I mean it, Leah!” she exclaims. “Whatever it may be…cheating, sex, drugs, money, I don’t know, whatever. It won’t be as bad as what’s in store for you if you stay here.”

  “You keep saying that, but unless you tell me what it is, I can’t believe it,” I say. “You’ve alw
ays pushed me away and shut me out. I’m an adult, Mother, and I think I’m ready to hear whatever it is you have to say and what you’ve been trying to hide for so long.”

  “I know you are,” she says. “But I’m not ready to tell you.” I roll my eyes. I can practically feel the heat escaping out of my ears, I’m so livid.

  “Don’t interfere in my life again,” I warn her. “You have no right to have brought Michael here. You don’t know the hell I’ve been through, being married to him. It took every nerve I have to leave him and come back to a place where I’ve never felt welcome.”

  “I had to push you away to protect you, Leah!” my mother cries out, clearly frustrated. I’ve never seen her composure so compromised. “Your father…he…”

  “What about Dad?” I demand to know, feeling my entire body stiffen at the mention of him. “Tell me, Mother, what you were going to say.” My words escape in staccato through my clenched jaw.

  “I know you went to Chicago to look for him,” my mother says softly. “And I let you believe that he left us and went there.” A loose lock of her golden hair has escaped her chignon, and she pushes it behind her ear. It causes her face to lose some severity. She looks so young and lost, thinking about the father I miss so terribly, who left us so suddenly. “He didn’t want to leave us, Leah, but his job came first.”

  “As police chief?” I ask incredulously. “I find that hard to believe.”

  She shakes her head. “His…Coven job.”

  “Coven?”

  She sighs histrionically. “You know nothing and it’s my fault. Honestly, things would be better if you never found out about any of this. If you’d stayed in Chicago, you wouldn’t have met your catalyst and you’d never have known you could craft.”