by Lila Veen
“But Heidi found Gabe,” I say. “And now Jack is alone.”
“Poor Jack,” my mother agrees. “I’ve always liked Jack, and I always knew he and Heidi were wrong for each other.”
“What should I tell Eleanor?” I ask her. “She’s going to be devastated.”
“That baby isn’t Eleanor’s,” my mother replies. “Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I wonder. “You and I both know that’s Eleanor’s baby. Heidi’s gone crazy.”
“Eleanor gave birth to him,” my mother replies, “but Gabe has reaped that baby’s powers and instilled them into Heidi.”
“Can a baby have powers?” I ask her. “How could Gabe do that?”
My mother nods. “You did. The moment you were born I could feel how strong you would be. But like your mind, your powers grow as you get older. The more you hold in your heart, the stronger they get. You can’t control them when you’re first born, and you don’t know they’re there, but you learn to hone it eventually.” She takes a deep breath. “Gabe can reap powers and hold them himself, or he can cast them where he wants to. Heidi was a vessel for that baby’s powers, and now she holds them.”
“So the baby has no powers anymore?” I want to know. My mother shakes her head. “But then why keep the baby? How did Heidi have that milk to give the baby?”
“Heidi needs that baby, Leah,” my mother says. “As long as it’s dependent on her, she will control its powers. Once that dependency is severed, she will lose them.”
“Oh, you mean the milk?” I realize. “How did Heidi have milk?”
My mother shrugs. “Eleanor and Drew are earth elementals. It’s natural to produce milk, and Heidi has figured out how to control it from the powers Gabe has reaped into her. I don’t pretend to understand all of Gabe’s crafting abilities. He’s reaped before, and he holds the skills and ability of every crafter he’s reaped. He is the most dangerous kind of crafter, because no one knows what limits he might have.”
I shudder, wishing that I’d heeded everyone’s warnings about Gabe sooner rather than later. “Why did you let me go out with him that night?” I ask her. “The day after I came back to town, you let me be alone with him.”
“You weren’t alone,” my mother says. “Ash found you that night, didn’t he?” I nod. “I didn’t see Gabe coming. He blocked me out, I wasn’t expecting him. The minute I saw him at the door, I knew Ash would be there and you would be safe that night, so I let you go. I had the plan to get you out of town with Michael, but that failed too.”
“Yes,” I say. “It failed miserably.”
“He’s gone,” my mother says, and I wonder how she knows. Her sight is gone, but she must have known before tonight. “I need to rest, Leah. Go tell Eleanor her baby is gone. She needs to let go and grieve.”
I stand up and walk to the door and put my hand on the knob, turning back to look at my mother. I realize how much power she had held before tonight, and how strong she really was. Now, because of me, all of that is gone.
Chapter 32
I call up Isabel and ask her to come over and stay with my mother. Despite the fact that she is an adult, I don’t feel right leaving her in the house by herself. Initially I asked Theo to stay with her but he won’t leave my side after what happened with Gabe.
Eleanor’s house is brightly illuminated, seeming like every light in the house is on. Theo, Jack and I approach the house slowly, no one saying anything to one another during the car ride or on the walk up to the house. No one wants to deliver terrible news.
Drew opens the door before any of us have a chance to knock or ring the bell, and we walk in silently, me first, and Jack bringing up the rear in single file fashion. Eleanor comes up to me and I can see she has tears in her eyes. “Tell me, Leah,” she says, taking my hands in her own.
“He’s gone,” I choke out, finding myself sobbing along with her. “Heidi and Gabe took him.”
She nods and looks down, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Drew comes up behind her and puts his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them comfortingly. Eleanor doesn’t let go of my hands.
Jack steps forward. “Drew, Eleanor, I didn’t know anything,” he tells them. “I would have stopped it.”
“You couldn’t stop it, Jack,” Drew says from behind Eleanor. “No one is blaming you.”
Jack nods, accepting what Drew tells him but not looking any less ill at ease. “Can we do anything for you guys?” Theo asks. “I know we can’t give you back what you want the most, but if there’s anything at all.”
“Actually,” Eleanor starts, looking questioningly at Drew. She wipes her tears away from her cheeks with the back of her hand. He nods, encouraging her to say what’s on her mind. “We’d just appreciate some company right now. I think we are sick to death of grieving. I wish you would all come in and have some dinner with us. There’s plenty of food. We’ve been distracting ourselves any way we can, so we’ve been cooking.”
“I think we can do that,” I say tentatively. “Are you sure you want us here?”
“Absolutely,” Drew agrees. “The only visitor we have had lately is Renee, and while Renee is lovely, it’s nice to talk to people who are-“
“Not my mother,” Eleanor finishes for him. She’s even smiling through her tears, making everyone relax. The mood is still somber, but it’s less stressed. We all follow them into the kitchen and see a ridiculous number of homemade ravioli set out on the counter and a huge pot of boiling water.
“Um, were you guys expecting us?” I want to know. “Where are the other eighty people you’ve invited?”
“We’ve been going nuts and trying to keep busy,” Drew replies. “Homemade ravioli is not only time consuming, but it’s also delicious.”
“What are they filled with?” Theo wants to know. I realize he’s probably as starving as I am at the moment.
“Sausage, ricotta and spinach,” Drew tells us.
“Damn,” Theo says. “That sounds amazing. I’m so sick of French food.”
“Theo, you can be in charge of the sauce,” Eleanor instructs. “Just stir it every so often, nothing complicated. I’ve never met a Lavanne who actually knew their way around a kitchen so you get the easy job. Jack, help Drew roll out more pasta. There’s still more to make and I’d just like to make it all and send everyone home with it. Leah, can you come with me and help me choose the wine?”
I follow her out of the kitchen and toward a door, which opens revealing basement stairs. “Why didn’t you let Theo help with wine?” I ask her. “His family is the one with the vineyard.”
She replies in a low voice, “Because I want to hear all of the dirt. I need gossip, Leah, and I need it now. I don’t want to talk about anything bad right now.”
“El, I need to tell you what happened-“
“Eventually you will,” she cuts me off. “Right now what I want to hear is how you managed to go from one Lavanne brother to another. What happened to Ash?”
“He’s gone,” I tell her sadly. I tell her about the dinner at the Lavannes, the night I met Theo. I give her the abridged version, and fill in details that she wants to know more about, short of getting too graphic.
She gets the gist of it. “At the same time?!”
“Shhhh!” I hush her. “You can’t be blabbing this to everyone, okay?”
“Oh, I won’t,” she agrees. “Well, Drew will hear it. I can’t lie to you about that. I tell him everything.”
I nod, assuming she would. “El, you’re not jealous of me or anything, right? I mean about Drew and me in the past?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve accepted that it’s happened, and it’s in the past. I suppose as long as we’re confessing things, I should tell you that he and I-“
“Nope!” I exclaim, putting my fingers in my ears. “Don’t want to hear it! La la la la la!”
We laugh, and grab two bottles of whatever the hell is closest to us, without really thinking too much about what would pair well
with ravioli. “Leah,” Eleanor says, stopping me on the stairs. “I’ve known you and Heidi for years-“
“El, whatever you’re about to say,” I interrupt, “Whatever you end up doing about this, I will understand.”
She nods. “I love you, Leah. You’ll always be my friend. But when I find Gabe, I will kill him, and if Heidi gets in my way....” she trails off, her eyes filling with tears.
“Hey,” I tell her, putting a hand on her arm. “I understand. I would do the same if it were my baby.” She nods and smiles, wiping her eyes. She turns and finishes walking up the stairs. When we charge upstairs, the kitchen is in complete shambles. The three men have flour dust all over them, including their hair. Ravioli is on the floor, water is spilling out of the pot, and sauce has exploded up onto the vent above the stove.
“You guys can’t be left alone for ten seconds?” Eleanor asks with a horrified expression. “This is insane!”
“We’ll clean it up,” Drew replies. I notice that all of the men have grabbed beers for themselves, and despite all of them having an awful day...or week in some cases, they are relaxing in each other’s company.
Wine bottles are opened, ravioli is served in an informal manner, and everyone settles down around the kitchen table shoveling food in our mouths. “This is fantastic,” Theo remarks. “I’m really sick of French food.”
“And butter,” I say. “In the past two weeks I’ve had more butter than I’d had the entire time I’ve lived in Chicago.”
“What, no coffee with heavy cream?” Drew asks. “No truffle oil pommes frites?”
“No, I’m pretty sure they call them French fries and they’re deep fried in Crisco,” I explain, laughing. “How ironic is it that they refer to them as French fries everywhere else but we call them ‘pommes frites’?”
“Totally not the same thing,” Eleanor replies. She turns to Jack. “What’s the matter, Jack, Heidi never cooks so you can’t contribute to this discussion?”
I kick Eleanor under the table, and the mood turns somber instantly at the mention of Heidi. “I guess we should eventually confront the elephant in the room,” Eleanor says. “I’m sorry Jack.”
Jack shakes his head. “Eleanor, I should be the one that’s sorry. I was so uninvolved in the whole supposed adoption, I didn’t see what was right under my nose.”
I can’t resist. “If Heidi were here right now, she’d have a circle of ravioli on her plate and pretend to be eating it.”
“Leah!” Eleanor exclaims, taking her turn to kick me. “Stop! I just snorted wine out of my nose!”
“Gross!” I say, chancing a look at Jack, who is shaking his head and smiling at me. Theo squeezes my hand under the table, sending a warm rush of relief through me. Two more bottles of wine are brought up and polished off quickly. Jack stands up and tells everyone it’s time for him to go home, before he gets too drunk to drive. As my brother in law, I feel it’s my civic duty to walk him out after he bids farewell to everyone. “Are you going to be okay to drive?” I ask him at the door. He nods. “Are you going to be okay in general?”
He shrugs. “I’ve barely had time to process anything, Leah. I just figured it all out today.” I nod and we stand shivering in the cold just outside of his Land Rover for a few seconds. “I just keep thinking that if I hadn’t seen Heidi and Gabe together, how long would I have been oblivious?”
“Jack,” I say softly. “You can’t think like that.”
He shrugs. “Everything I’m thinking right now is something I shouldn’t be thinking.”
“Promise me you won’t do anything crazy,” I tell him.
He raises one eyebrow. “Like what? Kill myself?” He laughs sharply. “It’s not worth it Leah.”
“Good,” I say nodding. “That’s what I needed to hear.” I give him a quick hug. “You’re a good guy, Jack. You’ll always be my brother in law, no matter what happens with Heidi.”
“That,” Jack says, “is the real elephant in the room. What happened to Heidi?”
*
Theo drives Betsey back to the house after I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine. Growing up in a vineyard must keep his tolerance high, because he’s not even remotely tipsy. I have no idea where he’s driving, but it’s not Normandy or my house. It’s dark and still in Blackwater, considering it’s a Monday night and past everyone’s bedtime. When I see Theo turn on the path that heads toward the Gallows, I begin to tremble. “Cold?” Theo asks me.
“Why are you bringing me here?” I ask him. I take in the haunting trees on either side of us and shrink back in my seat. He doesn’t reply, he just keeps taking Betsey through the path in the trees toward Blackwater River. “Last time I was here, I was with Ash.”
“We’re going for a swim,” Theo replies. “I think we could use one.”
“Are you crazy?” I say. “It’s thirty degrees out.”
He smiles and glances over at me. “You have no idea what you’re capable of, do you?”
My brows lower. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” he tells me, “you haven’t really explored much of your abilities, have you?”
“You mean crafting?” He nods. “Well today I broke a rocking chair.”
He laughs. “Did you mean to?” I shake my head. “Well that’s what I mean. You need to learn how to control your powers. You have no idea how to do that, do you?”
“No,” I sigh. “But can’t we just go back to my house and do it there? The Gallows freaks me out.”
“I want to try something,” Theo says. “And it involves a swim.”
We park Betsey at the end of the path and step out into the frigid night air. I shiver even harder at the idea that Theo wants us to take our clothes off and plunge into the Blackwater River in this kind of weather. Even in the summer, I recall times where we would swim in the river and it was still cold. “Isn’t it dangerous to be swimming so late at night with no one around?” I ask Theo.
He puts his arm around me, leading me in the direction of the river. “You forget that I’m a water elemental, and you’re part water yourself. We’ll be fine.”
“If you say so,” I reply, doubting highly that this will be anything less than excruciating. When we are practically at the shore, I can hear the soft sweeping sounds of the river. It’s wide and black at night, no indication of how dark and red it is during daylight hours. The soft ripples make the white reflection of the moon dance across the surface. Theo begins to remove his shoes and socks and I follow his lead with far less enthusiasm. As he removes his shirt and pants, I touch a toe in the water and let out a small shriek. “You have got to be kidding me!”
He stands naked in the moonlight and I catch a glimpse of him in his most natural state. “You better hurry up,” he tells me. “I can’t do this without you.”
“What if I don’t want to?” I ask. The sand is even cold on my feet. “Theo, seriously? This is not what I want to be doing tonight. I’ve had a shitty day. Can’t we end it somewhere under some covers together where it’s warm?”
He walks up to me and begins to pull my shirt up, showing me I don’t have a choice. “We will be warm together,” Theo says, “but we need to do this now.”
“Why?” I ask, succumbing to his undressing me. “Why do we need to do this at all?”
He tosses my shirt to the side and starts on my pants. “The next time you encounter Gabe or anything threat like him, and there will be a next time,” he says in a warning tone. “I want you to be ready to fight back.” His words sound final, and I nod, realizing why he cares so much.
“How do you know there’s a next time?” I want to know, taking his hand and facing the river. I’m trying to ignore the cold, but it’s difficult to do that tonight. Luckily, there’s not much wind.
“There will be,” he assures me. “Now let’s go. C’mon.” We walk forward and the water surrounds my ankles, making the cold crawl up my body. “Keep going until we’re all the way in,” Theo says with his teeth chattering.
I do as he says, gasping as the water hits my thighs. I recall my dad telling me when I was a kid and we used to go swimming that cold water is like a Bandaid – you just have to go for it and fully immerse yourself to get over the cold. I surprise Theo when I recall this advice by leaping forward and diving head first into the Blackwater River.
“Holy fuck!” I scream. “It’s so fucking cold in here!”
Theo dives under and swims up to me and grabs me around the waist. “M-m-make. It. W-w-warm.” His teeth are chattering so hard he can barely speak.
“H-h-h-how?” I ask. “D-d-d-do you w-want me to p-p-pee?” He laughs and shakes his head. Suddenly, I realize what he means. “C-c-c-craft?” He nods. I’m at a loss, not even knowing where to begin. I lift my arms up in a shrug as if to say “sorry buddy, you’re fucked” and feel the water roll off of me and the cold night air hit my skin to make it even colder. I quickly put my arm back down.
I’m a good swimmer under normal circumstances. My dad taught me when I was very young. I was afraid to put my head under, but he was always saying “Cut through the water with your body. You have complete control of the water, and it will behave for you. Don’t let yourself get carried away by it, move it out of your way.” I suddenly lower my head under the surface and feel the air above me vanish, and then I understand. I focus on the water, reaching out with my mind over the entire surface of the river, finding that the colder water lower down and the warmer water toward the surface. I push the colder water away from us and pull the warm water closer. When I feel the current change suddenly in the river I hold Theo around the waist to keep him close. The change sweeps over us, carrying us along the current with it. “Oh, that’s so much better,” I say, breaking the surface and looking at Theo. We are now immersed in a warm pocket of water, not exactly bathtub warm, but much more comfortable than before.
Theo grins, his dimple shadowed in the moonlight. “You did it,” he says, pulling me close and kissing me. “I knew you would.” I cling to him, feeling euphoric at what I managed to pull off and feel the water grow even warmer around us. “Well now you’re just showing off,” Theo says, noting the temperature change as well. “Or you actually peed.”
