by Lila Veen
“Theo, I did it,” I say, and press my lips against his, letting him hold me up in the water and wrapping my legs around his waist. “I can do it.”
“I know,” he says. “You changed the water, and I never could have done that. Fire is about change, and once you master it, you can use it.”
“I want you,” I breathe, feeling like I just experienced my own rebirth. “If it wasn’t for you, that wouldn’t have happened. Theo, I love you.”
His eyes widen, and he doesn’t answer back, he simply crushes me against him and pushes himself deep inside of me, making me gasp. The water begins to turn hot, steam rising up around us, and I move my hips against him, rubbing and caressing his cock inside of me, against me. His lips make a line from my chin down my neck. My hands crawl up his back and burrow themselves in his wet hair, pulling his head back as I come. He comes when he feels me clench him inside of me, and then he lifts me up, pulling out of me and taking one of my nipples in his mouth, one of his hands exploring me below the surface, dragging out the remains of my orgasm.
Without anything else to say, we both swim over to the shore and walk back into the chilly night air, back to our clothes and away from the river. I realize that we just made love where so many of our ancestors had drowned four centuries ago, just as Ash and I had made love on the pyre where our ancestors had been burned.
Chapter 33
I stay home to be with my mother the following day. As soon as I crack an egg into a bowl to make our breakfast, I get a double yolk. My mother comes over and peers at me. “When was your last period?” she asks me.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not pregnant,” I tell her. “I thought you lost your sight.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t need to be a water elemental to know that a double yolk means twins.”
“Twins?” I say, looking at her with no doubt the most horrified expression on my face I can muster. “That wouldn’t be okay.”
She shrugs. “It wouldn’t surprise me. Two catalysts, two babies.”
“Mother! There are no babies!”
“Yet,” she corrects me. “No babies yet.” She sits down as I begin to whip the eggs with a fork. “Why aren’t you at work?”
“I’m not feeling well,” I lie, not wanting her to know how concerned I am about her. “Gwen knows I’m not coming in. It’s fine.”
She nods, and then we hear the doorbell ring. “It’s probably Isabel,” she tells me. “Though she’s early.” She doesn’t make any move to get up, though, and the doorbell rings again.
“Aren’t you going to answer it?” I ask.
“Isabel has a key,” my mother replies, looking up at me, as if she only just realized that. I put the fork down and wipe my hands on my jeans, sighing dramatically. I walk past my mother, who is lazily flipping through the Blackwater Bias and go to the front door.
Bill Cousineau is there with Amber Collins, Michael’s sister. “Good morning, Miss Holt,” Bill says with a satisfied smile plastered on his face. Amber looks less excited to see me. Although her face usually bares a permanent look of bitchiness, she’s extra aggravated this morning. I’m startled to see her, recalling the last time I saw her at a fourth of July party at Michael’s family home in the south suburbs of Chicago. She was drunk and holding a beer, a baby and a cigarette and shouting at her ex-husband for the entire house to hear about their prior marital issues. My mother would refer to her as “low class”, and I tend to agree, only not as politely stated. Her hair is currently dyed a purplish burgundy, and she’s wearing clothes that are probably marketed to a fourteen year old, along with heels that are five inches tall and too much makeup for seven in the morning. “May we come in?” Bill asks.
“Do I have a choice?” is my reply.
Amber smirks and nudges past Bill and into the house. I hear her whistle as she takes in the front hallway. “Nice digs,” she notes. “I can see why you always acted so high and mighty around the likes of the Collins family.” Amber and her mother decided they didn’t like me when I declared that I was keeping my last name.
“Hello to you too, Amber,” I say. Bill coming over can’t be a good thing. Knowing what I know from Erika, my heart is pounding so hard, I’m pretty sure they can hear it. “I take it you’re in town to try and find your brother?”
“We’d like you to come down to the station, Miss Holt,” Bill says. “We’re going to need a statement from you regarding the last time you saw Michael Collins.”
“Has there been any movement in your case?” I ask him.
“Oh, shut it, Leah,” Amber says. “You know something about it. I’d like to know what you did to my brother. He’s never gone a week without talking to me, and he’s not answering his phone. What the hell did you do?”
“Miss Collins,” Bill says, smirking. “You will have your chance to give your statement. Right now we are collecting information, and we will decide what it is we need to do about the information. Your brother has not been found, and we are doing our best to find out his whereabouts.”
“Whatever,” Amber says. She walks up to me and stands as closely as she can without touching me. “I know you killed him,” she says. “Or maybe you had your little boyfriend do it. Michael told me what was going on. He told me how you left him to come here for some guy. He told me that you’d been cheating on him the entire time you were married. You think you’re so much better than us because you come from money, but you’re not. You’re a whore.”
I’m shaking so hard from my rage, but I contain everything I can to not cause a scene. Any moment, something could go crashing, breaking or flying across the room. I feel my face grow hot from trying to hold back, and I take a deep breath and count to ten. “Bill, should I drive myself or are you going to take me?”
“I’ll take you,” he says. “Not going to give you a chance to take off. I hear you’re pretty good at that.”
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard I take a small chunk of skin off. “Let me just get my coat and purse and tell my mother I’ll be out,” I say. Bill nods and Amber looks annoyed. I turn to go back into the kitchen and see my mother has been standing by the wall, listening.
“Leah,” my mother says. “What-?”
“Call Theo,” I whisper. “He’ll know what to do. Call him, please.” She nods and I give her a quick hug. Then I do as I said I would and grab my coat and purse and go with Bill out the front door.
*
Blackwater Police Department smells like coffee and stale sweat. The inside looks like a basement from the seventies. Wood paneled walls, linoleum floors and metal desks with cheap swivel chairs pepper the area. Pictures of Blackwater’s finest are on the walls, but I notice the absence of any pictures of my dad, as though his tenure as police chief never happened.
Amber’s statement is taken by Officer Bautista, who seems overwhelmed by so much glitter and eye shadow so early in the morning. I get stuck with Bill, who doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that he hates me, despite the fact that we’ve only met twice.
I spend a lot of time explaining when I last saw Michael, and Bill asks me regurgitate the same details to him over and over again. Some aspects I honestly can’t remember, like what I was wearing, but I am honest with what I know. I choose to leave out details that Bill doesn’t ask me about, like everything Erika told me. Some questions, such as “describe his mood upon seeing you with Ash Lavanne” seem to be geared toward disaster, and Bill all but asks me about my sexual relationship with Ash, which is obviously what he’s trying to deduce. When he finally spits out “did you spend the night with Ash Lavanne at his residence” I get fed up.
“How does that help you figure out where Michael is?” I want to know.
Bill sneers at me. “I think it’s relevant whether or not you’re having an extramarital affair.”
My eyes widen. “I made it very clear to Michael that I was planning on divorcing him. Who I spend my time with now does not imply that I was involved in anything like…” I
trail off in frustration.
Bill leans forward. “Anything like what, Miss Holt?”
“Bill,” I hear a tired voice behind me say. “That’s enough.”
I whirl around to see Jack standing at the entrance to Bill’s office. “What are you doing here, Jack?” Bill asks.
“I’m here to represent Leah as her lawyer, Bill, and you know as well as I do that the questions you’re asking have no bearing on your case. You also haven’t asked her permission to record this conversation, and I know you’re doing just that because your phone is on the desk with a light on. You know as well as I do that evidence recorded on your personal phone won’t hold up in court.”
Bill turns beet red, and I look to Jack with a whole new level of admiration. He’s like my knight is shining armor, if khakis and a Polo shirt would be considered armor.
“Leah, we can leave now,” Jack tells me. “Bill, you can speak directly with me on this matter, and schedule a date to discuss it when you can get an official subpoena. Until then, you have no business disturbing people in their homes and bringing them in to the station.” He nods to me and I stand up and walk to him.
“Miss Holt,” Bill says. “You’ve gotten out of this one, but I will get my answers from you, and I will go through all of the necessary legal channels to get them,” he adds, looking at Jack. “And don’t go too far, because it will be soon.”
I follow Jack out of the station, catching Amber’s dramatically shadowed eye as I leave. She looks furious, and I know I’ll likely have a voicemail sometime today from her telling me exactly what she thinks of me.
Jack helps me step up into the passenger seat of the Land Rover, and I’m still shaking from my meeting with Bill. “Jack, thank you,” I tell him earnestly. “I had no idea what was going on, but I appreciate you coming to get me.”
“Your mother called and I came as soon as I heard,” he says. He stares ahead at the road and I feel touched by the help he’s given me.
“Jack, I know I said this last night,” I begin to say, “but I want you to know that I’m sorry for Heidi and what she’s done to you,” I tell him. “You’re a really great guy. Most people wouldn’t want anything to do with someone’s family after they cheated on them, but you’ve been amazing.” I relay my last thought from personal experience, thinking of trashy Amber still sitting at the police station.
He shrugs. “Consider myself on your side, Leah,” he reassures me. “Gabe and I were friends for years. Bill and Gabe have a long history together. I know they have some shady dealings, and with Bill in a position of power, Gabe has been able to get things he’s wanted in Blackwater for his own personal gain. I came today for selfish reasons, too. It’s not entirely because you’re my sister in law.”
“Either way, I appreciate it,” I tell him. I slump back against the seat, relieved to be out of the police station. I close my eyes and find myself nodding off. I’m on about three hours of sleep, and I smile to myself when I think of what Theo and I did together last night, and what I accomplished with his help. When I open my eyes, I see we’re leaving the town limits of Blackwater. “Jack,” I say warily. “Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you to Theo,” Jack replies. “He’ll explain to you what’s happening when you get there.”
“Get where?” I ask, even though I know the answer. I haven’t been to Normandy since Ash left me, and I ache to think of what being there might remind me of.
“To Normandy,” he replies, echoing my thoughts. “I have your suitcase packed in the trunk.”
I look to him in alarm. “What the hell are you talking about, Jack? Why is my bag packed?”
He glances over at me. “You need to leave Blackwater,” he tells me. “You’re not safe here right now, and Theo is going to get you out.”
“What the hell?” I remark. “My mother has been gunning from day one to get me gone. I guess she finally got her way after all.”
Jack shakes his head. “It’s not that. She wants you to stay, but not with Bill Cousineau breathing down your neck. I guess Theo has someplace he wants to take you, but I’ll leave that to him to explain to you.”
I sigh. “I never even got to say goodbye to Carlton,” I muse.
“Carlton?” Jack repeats. “Who is that? I can’t keep up with all of the men in your life, Leah.”
I smirk. “You’re hilarious, Jack. Carlton is my cat.”
Jack laughs. “What kind of a cat name is Carlton?”
“Well,” I explain. “When I picked him up from the shelter, they kept him overnight to fix him – you know, to cut off his nuts-“
“Yes,” Jack interrupts, looking uncomfortable. “I’m quite familiar with how they neuter male cats. No need to get graphic.”
“Sorry,” I apologize. “When he came home, he was still slightly dopey from the drugs, and he was swinging from side to side like the Carlton dance from ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’. So he was Carlton.”
“You’re kidding,” Jack laughs. “I have the weirdest image in my head now.”
“I wish that I’d had a fancy cell phone back then to record it. It would have achieved YouTube fame,” I reply. “Jack,” I say. “What are you going to do about Heidi?”
“Nice transition,” he remarks. “Do all of the women in your family have this knack for changing the subject so efficiently?”
“It’s a gift,” I tell him.
He nods and then shrugs. “I have no idea, Leah. Probably file for divorce. But I need to find her first. I’m not a divorce lawyer, so I don’t know the ins and outs when your spouse has taken off and is nowhere to be found. I’ll need to contact a colleague.”
“There’s no way your marriage can be saved, right?” I want to know. He shakes his head, much to my relief. I would never want Heidi to be forgiven by Jack. What she’s done is completely unforgivable. “What about your political career?” I ask him. “Weren’t you considering running for mayor? Don’t things like broken marriages affect that?”
Jack sighs. “I think I kissed that goodbye the moment I told Bill off today.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, looking at him. His face is unreadable. “I still think you should run. Get things straightened out.” Take the power from the Order away, is what I really mean.
“I have a lot to think about,” Jack replies. “Politics is the last thing on my mind right now.”
“I know,” I say. We are silent for a bit longer, and I start to notice all of the things that indicate we are almost at Normandy. We stop at the gates and Jack presses some buttons, and they swing open. “You know the code?”
“Theo gave one to me,” Jack admits. “I’m pretty sure they’re smart enough to change it after I leave, or kill me.”
I smile, relieved that Jack is still joking after all of this. We drive down the road and up toward the house. Normandy comes into view, looking large and menacing against the grey sky. Not many cars are outside today, but I see Theo’s Renault. I search for Ash’s black SUV out of habit, but of course it’s not there.
Jack and I step out of the Land Rover and James opens the front door immediately, without us having to knock. “Miss Holt and Mr. Bellamy,” James says, as though he’s announcing us to the lions outside of the door. Jack is holding my suitcase and James takes it from him. “Please come inside. Mr. Theo is waiting.” I notice James doesn’t refer to Theo as “Mr. Lavanne” because there are, like, nineteen of those in the house. “Please follow me,” James says once we are inside.
“James,” I hear a husky female voice say. I see Olivia sauntering down the staircase, draped in an ivory gown, as though she is about to attend a formal dinner party. “Take Mr. Bellamy to the dining room and let him have something to eat. I will bring Miss Holt to Theo.” James nods and he and Jack walk off toward the dining room.
Chapter 34
I stand at the foot of the stairs, nervously anticipating why Olivia wants me alone. I watch her slowly walk toward me, and I can’t read the expressio
n on her face at all. Her signature black lipstick is on and her hair is long and loose down her back, cascading down to her waist.
“Hi Olivia,” I say tentatively. I have no idea what her attitude is toward me, but I feel it isn’t good.
She completes her flow down the stairs and comes up next to me, linking her arm with mine. “Walk with me,” she says. We walk toward the other side of the stairs and down a hallway until the end. She opens the door and I see we’re in a sort of parlor, with a piano and walls of books with ladders reaching up to make available the books up toward the ceiling. Olivia sits on a chaise, the picture of elegance, making me feel awkward in my jeans and sweatshirt I’d thrown on first thing in the morning. She tucks her bare feet up and stretches her arms. “I thought about hating you,” she finally begins. “But it doesn’t make sense,” she adds.
“Oh no?” I ask, wondering what her logic is and where she’s going with this.
She shakes her head. “You didn’t ask for this any more than I asked to be linked to my brother for life,” she explains. “I’m doomed to a life of celibacy because of how the world has made me. I can’t hate any particular person for that. I can only hate my own life. I’ll always be numb because I’ve taught myself it’s better than feeling what I should be feeling.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I tell her, feeling saddened by her words. “I didn’t want to step between you and Theo,” I start to say, but she interrupts me with a wave of her hand.
“I’m glad Theo is happy with you,” she says. “He’s always been as miserable as I am because we’re catalysts.”
“What if you had another one?” I suggest. “Then you could be happy with them.”
She laughs. “It won’t happen, Leah. I’ve tried. I can’t even look at another man who isn’t Theo. Isn’t that pathetic? That’s my life. I might as well be a nun or something, but Maman wouldn’t approve of my hanging out with Catholics.”
