Saving Jenna

by Christina Butrum

  Before allowing her thoughts to send her in a panicked frenzy, she turned them off and adjusted the volume on the radio. She would drown out all possibilities that Ian was sitting in a booth right outside that swinging door, right here, right now.

  Pulling a skillet from the cupboard, she turned the burner on and poured some oil into the pan. She would refrain from looking. She didn’t need to know. She couldn’t know. She didn’t want to know.

  Her heart bounded in her chest, pounding fiercely at the thought there was a significant chance that it was in fact Ian Riley who was sitting out there. Shaking off the scattered thoughts, she focused on the task at hand. It was her job to prepare the food, and that was exactly what she was going to do.

  Setting the flame low, she gave into the curiosity. With an oven mitt on one hand and a spatula in the other, she snuck her way over to the dividing door and peeked out into the diner. She could see Cat, who had made herself comfortable in conversation with the two sitting in the oversized booth next to the large bay window. Of course, leave it to Cat to be able to have a decent conversation and being able to strike up a conversation so easily.

  It didn’t take long to notice the guy who was sitting across from the rugged one in flannel. That was the town drunk—Todd. He lived down a ways from the diner, which was in walking distance, but she highly doubted he walked here from there.

  She couldn’t pick out any other features of the secret handyman who was in town fixing a rental property. She couldn’t help but listen to her gut as it told her it was highly likely she knew exactly who it was sitting across from Todd in that booth, having a wonderful, coffee filled conversation with Cat.

  Sizzling, followed by a loud cracking sound echoed from the skillet behind her, startling her attention back to the food, which was becoming impatient and needing flipped. Damn bacon and eggs taking her focus away from what was more important right now. And damn that guy for being so mysterious and coming into this diner to eat.

  Flipping the bacon, stirring the eggs, she caught the swinging of the dividing doors from the corner of her eye. Cat swarmed in, light on her feet, chipper as always as she swirled around Jenna. "I'm cooking here."

  The warning was subtle, but enough of a hint that she wasn’t as chipper as Cat, nor would she be. Life wasn't that great. Not that it had always sucked. There was a time, so long ago, when she had thought she had the perfect life.

  "I know what you're doing," Cat said, reaching around Jenna for a stack of plates before scooping the food out of the pan and placing it on a separate plate. "But do you know what you're going to do?"

  The pep in her step didn’t go unnoticed as she carried the plates around the kitchen, sliding them onto an empty counter to prep them to be served neatly. Jenna knew the question had nothing to do with what happened yesterday, making her call Cat at an odd hour, but there was a part of her that wanted to answer the question accordingly.

  When Jenna didn’t answer, Cat held up the plates and motioned for her to come stand next to her. "You're going to take these out to booth number four and introduce your pretty self."

  "Introduce?" she questioned, not fully understanding, or maybe she understood, but denied the fact Cat was really making her go through with this.

  "Yes," Cat said, handing off the plates to Jenna, shooing her out of the kitchen. "Go on. They're nice. You'll be fine."

  "Thanks, I guess?"

  Cat's reassuring smile was the last thing she saw before she tripped over her own feet and sent the plates crashing to the floor in front of her. The food splattered against the tiles and her eyes diverted from the commotion in front of her to the eyes of the mysterious guy sitting at booth number four. His eyes met hers as he slid out of his seat and made his way over to her.

  There was no denying who those eyes belonged to. She would have been able to recognize those eyes from anywhere. As cliché as it sounded, even in her own mind, she had spent many hours fantasizing over Ian Riley, with those eyes being the number one feature of his, aside from the muscles she loved about him.

  "Jenna?" He was at her side within seconds, providing a helping hand to assist her off the floor.

  "Ian." His name fell in a disappointed sigh and she felt bad. Her gut had been right. It was him who was back in West Grove. It was him who just witnessed her catastrophic start to the day and it was him who was by her side, offering to help her from the mess she made. Typical Ian Riley.

  Without his assistance, she stood and brushed off the food that had managed to find its way onto her apron. She felt foolish for turning down his helping hand. A touch of hurt pride was to blame, along with a healing heart.

  Fending off the awkwardness of the situation, he jammed his hands in his pockets and stepped back. He fidgeted in his spot, unsure of what to say, a sign that she made him uncomfortable by not accepting his help. Ignoring him, she knelt down to pick up the remains of her flop. A complete disgrace of her clumsiness had come to light at the wrong time. Bad timing was everything, and right now, it had ruined her chance to subtly figure out if this man was the Ian Riley. Now, with food scattered and thrown about the floor and her bruised pride, there was no doubt this man was Ian Riley, and he was definitely back in town.

  Unsure whether to strike up a conversation or continue with the silent awkwardness hovering between them, she went with the latter, staying silent until he severed the distance between them as he knelt down to help her clean up scrambled eggs and crunched bacon pieces.

  "I didn’t know you worked here," Ian said, sliding the remaining eggs into a dustpan, trying his damnedest to create small talk to ease the silent tension between them.

  "I didn’t know you were back in town." Her tone was harsh, but she wouldn’t allow him to think he could waltz right back into her life after leaving her for the Army like he had. Sure, it had been a great opportunity for him, but she resented the fact he had left her behind.

  Flipping the dustpan over the garbage, emptying the contents while keeping his eyes on her, he shrugged and she knew her tone might have made him realize how she felt about him being here. "I wasn’t going to come back."

  "I know."

  Ignoring her snarky remarks, he said, "Todd told me that my rental was in bad condition and needed my attention."

  "Yeah, rental houses need attention from time to time. You can't just leave them to fend for themselves." She turned to grab the mop from the bucket of warm suds Cat had wheeled out for her. Wringing it, she wondered if he put two and two together with what she had said. Men were dense sometimes. It was almost like they needed a "here's your sign" from Bill Engval and even then, they would struggle to understand.

  "Jen." His eyes narrowed, following a raised brow. His hands once again found their way into his front pockets as he stood otherwise motionless while she contemplated running to the back room or staying right where she was. Where the hell was Cat anyways? She should have never forced her to come out here in the first place. It had been a bad idea. Anyone with a sane mind would have known that. As if he were going to say something but changed his mind, he shook his head before running a hand through his too stiff hair. "I'm not here to cause problems. I'm here strictly on business. I'll be here and gone within two weeks, give or take a few days."

  She had no reason to concern herself with his business, nor him with hers. He had left her in his past, right along with any opportunity to be something more someday. The thought caused a sting of tears behind her eyes and she had to look away before he caught sight of them.

  Looking around for a sign of Cat possibly lurking in the shadows, watching this whole nightmare play out, Jenna wished the woman would step out from hiding and help her escape.

  "I suppose I better go back there and get you and Todd more food," she said, hitching a thumb over her shoulder, pointing back to the door that would lead her to her safe place.

  Chapter 11

  He felt like shit for even coming back to West Grove. He should have sold this damn rental
property of his and been done with this town. But there had been a reason he had kept holding onto this place. Sure, the extra money in his pocket every month had been great, but there was something about coming to this town that made him feel at ease. Nothing had been the same for him since the day he left, and he vowed to make things right one day with those he hurt in his past—starting with Jenna.

  But after seeing that ring on her finger...if he didn’t know any better, he would have thought the edges of that square diamond had physically gutted him. She was engaged. Taken. Not available.

  "Here's your food." Her soft voice mumbled under a nervous breath, causing him to look up.

  Catching her eyes with his, he saw what he felt. Uncertainty, a bundled conniption fit of mixed feelings and thoughts. Neither of them wanting to openly talk about, but both knowing they needed to find closure. Maybe he was wrong, but he could see the torment of emotion in her eyes. He knew he needed to talk to her. But it wouldn’t be easy. Much like everything else lately, it would take time and patience—something he was never good with but was practicing it every day.

  "I promised Cat I wouldn’t make a mess of it again."

  "Thank you," he said, grabbing the salt and pepper shakers from the end of the table and sprinkling a heaping amount over his eggs from not paying attention to how much was pouring out while he kept his eyes on Jenna.

  She pointed, making him turn his head to the pile of salt that caked his eggs. "Salt's not good for you, you know?"

  Swallowing hard, he lifted his eggs and gave them a quick shake. A failed attempt to jar off the overabundance of salt that had accumulated during his lack of attention.

  "Cat'll be mad if she has to make another batch of eggs. Eggs are expensive nowadays."

  The playfulness in her voice was a good sign. Maybe he had a chance to talk with her and make things right after all. Maybe her shrugging him off earlier was due to nerves and embarrassment. He only hoped she would be open to talking to him in more than one or two sentences at a time, about something more than how much salt and pepper is allotted in a person's daily diet.

  "No worries," he said, scooping them onto his toast and taking a large bite. "I'll eat ’em. Thank you."

  If he hadn't been too focused on not choking, he would not have had to second-guess whether or not he had seen her lip curve into a slight smile. She refilled his coffee before turning and walking away from the booth. Todd must have caught onto something, because the look he gave him told him he knew something was up between him and Jenna.

  There might have been, but the problem was, what had been between them was no longer there because he ruined it. He had left her when she needed him the most. He would forever kick himself in the ass for losing Jenna.

  Chapter 12

  "So, are you going to tell me what that was all about and who that is?" Cat asked, leaning against the open back door, waving the smoke from her cigarette out into the wind.

  Jenna tried to play dumb, raising an eyebrow to fend off the crazy assumption that Cat was thinking something was going on between her and Ian.

  "Come on," Cat said, flicking the butt of her cigarette out the door before slamming it shut behind her. "I'm gushing over how cute he is and you knew who he was this whole time? Tell me, who is he? And how do you know him?"

  Cat was in her mid-fifties, but that didn’t stop her from acting like a teenager on any given day. She was young at heart, but maybe that was to blame for her lack of steady relationships. Hell, Jenna couldn’t talk. She had been with John for over a year. She was engaged even and still not happy. Being in a relationship wasn’t everything in life.

  "Okay, so you're not going to tell me about him," Cat said in a pouty huff as she made her way across the kitchen to the other side of Jenna. "Tell me about what happened yesterday and why I got a phone call about you coming to stay with me."

  Settling her thoughts before it ensued a full-blown panic attack, which she certainly didn’t want to have, she took a deep breath and leaned against the counter. Keeping her shoulders relaxed the best she could, she shook her head. "John and I had a disagreement, is all. I thought about staying away from the house for the weekend. You know, give each other some space."

  Cat wasn’t buying it. It was obvious by her stare as she scrubbed the countertop near the stove—an accumulation of grease and food caked on them from breakfast. Without saying she didn’t believe her, she kept scrubbing, offering a nod. Jenna relaxed, allowing her body to melt against the counter. She knew one day the truth would have to come out, but right now, it was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Right now, she needed to figure out how she was going to talk to Ian. There was a lot left unsaid from the day he left and there was no better time than now to talk to him.

  "I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to check on how their food tastes."

  "Uh-huh, and as soon as you come back, you're going to tell me everything," Cat called out to her from the back as she pushed through the dividing doors and into the diner. "I mean it. I want to know every stinking detail."

  Chapter 13

  He hadn't expected her to want to talk. When she came out of the kitchen, heading in his direction, he thought she was wanting to refill his coffee or ask them how the food tasted, aside from the fact he dumped too much salt and pepper on the damn eggs.

  When she walked up to the table, he asked her if she was free sometime. The look of excitement, followed up shortly with the look of fear crossed her face. He didn’t understand the look of fear. They had always had an easy-going relationship. Nothing that would have triggered fear at the mention of just talking. Now hurt, that was a completely different story. He knew he had hurt her the day he left West Grove to join the Army, but he didn’t have a choice in the matter at the time. There was nothing going in his favor back then, and when the opportunity came up for something better, he had no choice but to take it.

  "What do you say we catch up over a couple drinks this weekend?"

  Once again, fear left subtle traces of panic on her face, causing her beautiful eyes to dilate and her first answer to be no. The possibility that she wouldn’t want to meet up with him and talk was slim to none.

  "I can't."

  "Okay."

  He couldn’t pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to do. No matter how bad he wanted to talk to her, even out their past and make amends where needed before he left town in less than two weeks.

  She rolled her lip between her teeth, a habit she had since they were kids. Anytime she was nervous or overthinking a situation, he’d notice she would work her teeth over that bottom lip of hers, making it almost impossible for him not to kiss her. Hell, it was tempting right now, even after not seeing her all this time. Nothing had changed as far as how much she turned him on. There was no denying it with his erection pressing hard against his jeans.

  "Why not?"

  Todd's voice damn near startled her. Ian gave him a narrowed look, wondering why he would ask such a thing. It didn’t matter what her reason was, she said no and Ian respected that. No sense in pressuring her and causing more pain and anger than what already existed.

  Holding his hands up in surrender or in fear of getting his ass beat, Todd said, "You weren't going to ask, so I thought I would. Come on, man, you know you were thinking it."

  It didn’t matter if he was thinking it or not. The fact was she had said she couldn’t. Now, there was a part of him that begged to know why she couldn’t, but he knew it must have had something to do with that shiny diamond ring on her finger. Whoever had been smart enough to put it on her finger, was a lucky man.

  He felt her eyes on him. Turning his attention away from Todd and back to her, he offered a smile he hoped would make her realize anything that came out of Todd's mouth had nothing to do with him. Anyone in this town had to have known Todd had his own mind, the alcohol causing a lack of filter and a don’t-give-a-shit attitude.

  Taking him to the side, she tried to explain the best she
could.

  "It's not that I don’t want to," she said, her voice near a whisper. He had a hard time hearing her. "It's just that I'm engaged and..."

  That same look of fear he’d witnessed not too long ago crossed her face once again. Now it was obvious this was about that ring on her finger. Man, it amazed him how much things changed when a ring was brought into the equation.

  "Okay, I saw the ring. I figured that's what it meant." Sure, he was being a smart-ass, but she had to have known that part of him wouldn’t have changed. He was always sarcastic, knowing half the time people didn’t understand how to take him. But Jenna had caught on real fast with it and she had once enjoyed that side of him. Hell, there had been a few times he had caught her sarcasm and prided himself the credit for rubbing off on her. They had been the best of friends growing up. They had both lived on the same side of the railroad tracks. The only difference between her house and his was the amount of love inside. Her parents actually gave a shit, put food on the table, and paid the light bill. His parents couldn’t have cared less, not that he blamed his mom. His so-called dad had been a pile of shit who refused to supply the basic needs for his family. He had left when Ian was ten and hadn't looked back. Because of that, Ian had learned to provide for and fend for himself at a young age. And because of that, he had learned to run when things got hard. It was something he wasn’t proud of, but oh well, it was his past and like they say, you can't change the shit that happened back then. "I need to get back to the table. My food's waiting, and the rental sure isn't going to fix itself."

  He turned, wanting nothing more than to get on with this fucking mess of a week. The fact he was even back in this town was enough to prove he had a lack of making good decisions. It had been stupid for him to even think his return back to this town would have changed anything—hell, he couldn’t even make it a week without causing a shit storm.