Noli me tángere. English

by José Rizal

  CHAPTER XX

  The Meeting in the Town Hall

  The hall was about twelve to fifteen meters long by eight to tenwide. Its whitewashed walls were covered with drawings in charcoal,more or less ugly and obscene, with inscriptions to complete theirmeanings. Stacked neatly against the wall in one corner were to beseen about a dozen old flint-locks among rusty swords and talibons, thearmament of the cuadrilleros. [66] At one end of the hall there hung,half hidden by soiled red curtains, a picture of his Majesty, the Kingof Spain. Underneath this picture, upon a wooden platform, an old chairspread out its broken arms. In front of the chair was a wooden tablespotted with ink stains and whittled and carved with inscriptionsand initials like the tables in the German taverns frequented bystudents. Benches and broken chairs completed the furniture.

  This is the hall of council, of judgment, and of torture, wherein arenow gathered the officials of the town and its dependent villages. Thefaction of old men does not mix with that of the youths, for they aremutually hostile. They represent respectively the conservative andthe liberal parties, save that their disputes assume in the towns anextreme character.

  "The conduct of the gobernadorcillo fills me with distrust,"Don Filipo, the teniente-mayor and leader of the liberal faction,was saying to his friends. "It was a deep-laid scheme, this thingof putting off the discussion of expenses until the eleventhhour. Remember that we have scarcely eleven days left."

  "And he has staved at the convento to hold a conference with thecurate, who is sick," observed one of the youths.

  "It doesn't matter," remarked another. "We have everythingprepared. Just so the plan of the old men doesn't receive a majority--"

  "I don't believe it will," interrupted Don Filipo, "as I shall presentthe plan of the old men myself!"

  "What! What are you saying?" asked his surprised hearers.

  "I said that if I speak first I shall present the plan of our rivals."

  "But what about our plan?"

  "I shall leave it to you to present ours," answered Don Filipowith a smile, turning toward a youthful cabeza de barangay. [67]"You will propose it after I have been defeated."

  "We don't understand you, sir," said his hearers, staring at him withdoubtful looks.

  "Listen," continued the liberal leader in a low voice to severalnear him. "This morning I met old Tasio and the old man said to me:'Your rivals hate you more than they do your ideas. Do you wish thata thing shall not be done? Then propose it yourself, and though itwere more useful than a miter, it would be rejected. Once they havedefeated you, have the least forward person in the whole gatheringpropose what you want, and your rivals, in order to humiliate you,will accept it.' But keep quiet about it."

  "But--"

  "So I will propose the plan of our rivals and exaggerate it to thepoint of making it ridiculous. Ah, here come Senor Ibarra and theschoolmaster."

  These two young men saluted each of the groups without joiningeither. A few moments later the gobernadorcillo, the very sameindividual whom we saw yesterday carrying a bundle of candles, enteredwith a look of disgust on his face. Upon his entrance the murmursceased, every one sat down, and silence was gradually established,as he took his seat under the picture of the King, coughed four orfive times, rubbed his hand over his face and head, rested his elbowson the table, then withdrew them, coughed once more, and then thewhole thing over again.

  "Gentlemen," he at last began in an unsteady voice, "I have been sobold as to call you together here for this meeting--ahem! Ahem! Wehave to celebrate the fiesta of our patron saint, San Diego, on thetwelfth of this month--ahem!--today is the second--ahem! Ahem!" Atthis point a slow, dry cough cut off his speech.

  A man of proud bearing, apparently about forty years of age, thenarose from the bench of the elders. He was the rich Capitan Basilio,the direct contrast of Don Rafael, Ibarra's father. He was a man whomaintained that after the death of St. Thomas Aquinas the world hadmade no more progress, and that since St. John Lateran had left it,humanity had been retrograding.

  "Gentlemen, allow me to speak a few words about such an interestingmatter," he began. "I speak first even though there are others herepresent who have more right to do so than I have, but I speak firstbecause in these matters it seems to me that by speaking first onedoes not take the first place--no more than that by speaking last doesone become the least. Besides, the things that I have to say are ofsuch importance that they should not be put off or last spoken of, andaccordingly I wish to speak first in order to give them due weight. Soyou will allow me to speak first in this meeting where I see so manynotable persons, such as the present senor capitan, the former capitan;my distinguished friend, Don Valentin, a former capitan; the friendof my infancy, Don Julio; our celebrated captain of cuadrilleros,Don Melchor; and many other personages, whom, for the sake of brevity,I must omit to enumerate--all of whom you see present here. I beg ofyou that I may be allowed a few words before any one else speaks. HaveI the good fortune to see my humble request granted by the meeting?"

  Here the orator with a faint smile inclined his head respectfully. "Goon, you have our undivided attention!" said the notables alluded to andsome others who considered Capitan Basilio a great orator. The elderscoughed in a satisfied way and rubbed their hands. After wiping theperspiration from his brow with a silk handkerchief, he then proceeded:

  "Now that you have been so kind and complaisant with my humble self asto grant me the use of a few words before any one else of those herepresent, I shall take advantage of this permission, so generouslygranted, and shall talk. In imagination I fancy myself in the midstof the august Roman senate, _senatus populusque romanus_, as was saidin those happy days which, unfortunately for humanity, will nevermorereturn. I propose to the _Patres Conscripti_, as the learned Cicerowould say if he were in my place, I propose, in view of the short timeleft, and time is money as Solomon said, that concerning this importantmatter each one set forth his opinion clearly, briefly, and simply."

  Satisfied with himself and flattered by the attention in the hall, theorator took his seat, not without first casting a glance of superioritytoward Ibarra, who was seated in a corner, and a significant look athis friends as if to say, "Aha! Haven't I spoken well?" His friendsreflected both of these expressions by staring at the youths as thoughto make them die of envy.

  "Now any one may speak who wishes that--ahem!" began thegobernadorcillo, but a repetition of the cough and sighs cut shortthe phrase.

  To judge from the silence, no one wished to consider himself calledupon as one of the Conscript Fathers, since no one rose. Then DonFilipo seized the opportunity and rose to speak. The conservativeswinked and made significant signs to each other.

  "I rise, gentlemen, to present my estimate of expenses for the fiesta,"he began. "We can't allow it," commented a consumptive old man,who was an irreconcilable conservative.

  "We'll vote against it," corroborated others. "Gentlemen!" exclaimedDon Filipo, repressing a smile, "I haven't yet made known the planwhich we, _the younger men_, bring here. We feel _sure_ that thisgreat plan will be preferred by all over any other that our opponentsthink of or are capable of conceiving."

  This presumptuous exordium so thoroughly irritated the minds of theconservatives that they swore in their hearts to offer determinedopposition.

  "We have estimated three thousand five hundred pesos for the expenses,"went on Don Filipo. "Now then, with such a sum we shall be able tocelebrate a fiesta that will eclipse in magnificence any that hasbeen seen up to this time in our own or neighboring provinces."

  "Ahem!" coughed some doubters. "The town of A---- has five thousand,B---- has four thousand, ahem! Humbug!"

  "Listen to me, gentlemen, and I'll convince you," continued theunterrified speaker. "I propose that we erect a theater in the middleof the plaza, to cost one hundred and fifty pesos."

  "That won't be enough! It'll take one hundred and sixty," objecteda confirmed conservative.

  "Write it down, Senor Director, two hundred pesos fo
r the theater,"said Don Filipo. "I further propose that we contract with a troupeof comedians from Tondo for seven performances on seven successivenights. Seven performances at two hundred pesos a night make fourteenhundred pesos. Write down fourteen hundred pesos, Senor Director!"

  Both the elders and the youths stared in amazement. Only those inthe secret gave no sign.

  "I propose besides that we have magnificent fireworks; no littlelights and pin-wheels such as please children and old maids, nothingof the sort. We want big bombs and immense rockets. I propose twohundred big bombs at two pesos each and two hundred rockets at thesame price. We'll have them made by the pyrotechnists of Malabon."

  "Huh!" grunted an old man, "a two-peso bomb doesn't frighten or deafenme! They ought to be three-peso ones."

  "Write down one thousand pesos for two hundred bombs and two hundredrockets."

  The conservatives could no longer restrain themselves. Some of themrose and began to whisper together. "Moreover, in order that ourvisitors may see that we are a liberal people and have plenty ofmoney," continued the speaker, raising his voice and casting a rapidglance at the whispering group of elders, "I propose: first, four_hermanos mayores_ [68] for the two days of the fiesta; and second,that each day there be thrown into the lake two hundred fried chickens,one hundred stuffed capons, and forty roast pigs, as did Sylla,a contemporary of that Cicero, of whom Capitan Basilio just spoke."

  "That's it, like Sylla," repeated the flattered Capitan Basilio.

  The surprise steadily increased.

  "Since many rich people will attend and each one will bring thousandsof pesos, his best game-cocks, and his playing-cards, I propose thatthe cockpit run for fifteen days and that license be granted to openall gambling houses--"

  The youths interrupted him by rising, thinking that he had gonecrazy. The elders were arguing heatedly.

  "And, finally, that we may not neglect the pleasures of the soul--"

  The murmurs and cries which arose all over the hall drowned his voiceout completely, and tumult reigned.

  "No!" yelled an irreconcilable conservative. "I don't want him toflatter himself over having run the whole fiesta, no! Let me speak! Letme speak!"

  "Don Filipo has deceived us," cried the liberals. "We'll vote againsthis plan. He has gone over to the old men. We'll vote against him!"

  The gobernadorcillo, more overwhelmed than ever, did nothing to restoreorder, but rather was waiting for them to restore it themselves.

  The captain of the cuadrilleros begged to be heard and was grantedpermission to speak, but he did not open his mouth and sat down againconfused and ashamed.

  By good fortune, Capitan Valentin, the most moderate of allthe conservatives, arose and said: "We cannot agree to what theteniente-mayor has proposed, as it appears to be exaggerated. So manybombs and so many nights of theatrical performances can only be desiredby a young man, such as he is, who can spend night after night sittingup and listening to so many explosions without becoming deaf. I haveconsulted the opinion of the sensible persons here and all of themunanimously disapprove Don Filipo's plan. Is it not so, gentlemen?"

  "Yes, yes!" cried the youths and elders with one voice. The youthswere delighted to hear an old man speak so.

  "What are we going to do with four _hermanos mayores?_" went on the oldman. "What is the meaning of those chickens, capons, and roast pigs,thrown into the lake? 'Humbug!' our neighbors would say. And afterwardswe should have to fast for six months! What have we to do with Syllaand the Romans? Have they ever invited us to any of their festivities,I wonder? I, at least, have never received any invitation from them,and you can all see that I'm an old man!"

  "The Romans live in Rome, where the Pope is," Capitan Basilio promptedhim in a low voice. "Now I understand!" exclaimed the old man calmly.

  "They would make of their festivals watch-meetings, and the Popewould order them to throw their food into the sea so that they mightcommit no sin. But, in spite of all that, your plan is inadmissible,impossible, a piece of foolishness!"

  Being so stoutly opposed, Don Filipo had to withdraw his proposal. Nowthat their chief rival had been defeated, even the worst of theirreconcilable insurgents looked on with calmness while a young cabezade barangay asked for the floor.

  "I beg that you excuse the boldness of one so young as I am indaring to speak before so many persons respected for their age andprudence and judgment in affairs, but since the eloquent orator,Capitan Basilio, has requested every one to express his opinion,let the authoritative words spoken by him excuse my insignificance."

  The conservatives nodded their heads with satisfaction, remarkingto one another: "This young man talks sensibly." "He's modest." "Hereasons admirably."

  "What a pity that he doesn't know very well how to gesticulate,"observed Capitan Basilio. "But there's time yet! He hasn't studiedCicero and he's still a young man!"

  "If I present to you, gentlemen, any program or plan," the youngman continued, "I don't do so with the thought that you will findit perfect or that you will accept it, but at the same time that Ionce more bow to the judgment of all of you, I wish to prove to ourelders that our thoughts are always like theirs, since we take asour own those ideas so eloquently expressed by Capitan Basilio."

  "Well spoken! Well spoken!" cried the flattered conservatives. CapitanBasilio made signs to the speaker showing him how he should stand andhow he ought to move his arm. The only one remaining impassive was thegobernadorcillo, who was either bewildered or preoccupied; as a matterof fact, he seemed to be both. The young man went on with more warmth:

  "My plan, gentlemen, reduces itself to this: invent new shows thatare not common and ordinary, such as we see every day, and endeavorthat the money collected may not leave the town, and that it be notwasted in smoke, but that it be used in some manner beneficial to all."

  "That's right!" assented the youths. "That's what we want."

  "Excellent!" added the elders.

  "What should we get from a week of comedies, as the teniente-mayorproposes? What can we learn from the kings of Bohemia and Granada, whocommanded that their daughters' heads be cut off, or that they shouldbe blown from a cannon, which later is converted into a throne? Weare not kings, neither are we barbarians; we have no cannon, and ifwe should imitate those people, they would hang us on Bagumbayan. Whatare those princesses who mingle in the battles, scattering thrusts andblows about in combat with princes, or who wander alone over mountainsand through valleys as though seduced by the _tikbalang_? Our nature isto love sweetness and tenderness in woman, and we would shudder at thethought of taking the blood-stained hand of a maiden, even when theblood was that of a Moro or a giant, so abhorred by us. We considervile the man who raises his hand against a woman, be he prince oralferez or rude countryman. Would it not be a thousand times betterto give a representation of our own customs in order to correct ourdefects and vices and to encourage our better qualities?"

  "That's right! That's right!" exclaimed some of his faction.

  "He's right," muttered several old men thoughtfully.

  "I should never have thought of that," murmured Capitan Basilio.

  "But how are you going to do it?" asked the irreconcilable.

  "Very easily," answered the youth. "I have brought here twodramas which I feel sure the good taste and recognized judgment ofthe respected elders here assembled will find very agreeable andentertaining. One is entitled 'The Election of the Gobernadorcillo,'being a comedy in prose in five acts, written by one who is herepresent. The other is in nine acts for two nights and is a fantasticaldrama of a satirical nature, entitled 'Mariang Makiling,' [69] writtenby one of the best poets of the province. Seeing that the discussion ofpreparations for the fiesta has been postponed and fearing that therewould not be time enough left, we have secretly secured the actorsand had them learn their parts. We hope that with a week of rehearsalthey will have plenty of time to know their parts thoroughly. This,gentlemen, besides being new, useful, and reasonable, has the greatadvantage of bei
ng economical; we shall not need costumes, as thoseof our daily life will be suitable."

  "I'll pay for the theater!" shouted Capitan Basilio enthusiastically.

  "If you need cuadrilleros, I'll lend you mine," cried their captain.

  "And I--and I--if art old man is needed--" stammered another one,swelling with pride.

  "Accepted! Accepted!" cried many voices.

  Don Filipo became pale with emotion and his eyes filled with tears.

  "He's crying from spite," thought the irreconcilable, so he yelled,"Accepted! Accepted without discussion!" Thus satisfied with revengeand the complete defeat of his rival, this fellow began to praisethe young man's plan.

  The latter continued his speech: "A fifth of the money collected may beused to distribute a few prizes, such as to the best school child, thebest herdsman, farmer, fisherman, and so on. We can arrange for boatraces on the river and lake and for horse races on shore, we can raisegreased poles and also have other games in which our country people cantake part. I concede that on account of our long-established customs wemust have some fireworks; wheels and fire castles are very beautifuland entertaining, but I don't believe it necessary to have bombs, asthe former speaker proposed. Two bands of music will afford sufficientmerriment and thus we shall avoid those rivalries and quarrels betweenthe poor musicians who come to gladden our fiesta with their workand who so often behave like fighting-cocks, afterwards going awaypoorly paid, underfed, and even bruised and wounded at times. Withthe money left over we can begin the erection of a small building fora schoolhouse, since we can't wait until God Himself comes down andbuilds one for us, and it is a sad state of affairs that while we havea fine cockpit our children study almost in the curate's stable. Suchare the outlines of my plan; the details can be worked out by all."

  A murmur of pleasure ran through the hall, as nearly every one agreedwith the youth.

  Some few muttered, "Innovations! Innovations! When we were young--"

  "Let's adopt it for the time being and humiliate that fellow," saidothers, indicating Don Filipo.

  When silence was restored all were agreed. There was lacking only theapproval of the gobernadorcillo. That worthy official was perspiringand fidgeting about. He rubbed his hand over his forehead and was atlength able to stammer out in a weak voice: "I also agree, but--ahem!"

  Every one in the hall listened in silence.

  "But what?" asked Capitan Basilio.

  "Very agreeable," repeated the gobernadorcillo, "that is to say--Idon't agree--I mean--yes, but--" Here he rubbed his eyes with theback of his hand. "But the curate," the poor fellow went on, "thecurate wants something else."

  "Does the curate or do we ourselves pay for this fiesta? Has he givena cuarto for it?" exclaimed a penetrating voice. All looked towardthe place whence these questions came and saw there the Sage Tasio.

  Don Filipo remained motionless with his eyes fixed on thegobernadorcillo.

  "What does the curate want?" asked Capitan Basilio.

  "Well, the padre wants six processions, three sermons, three highmasses, and if there is any money left, a comedy from Tondo withsongs in the intermissions."

  "But we don't want that," said the youths and some of the old men.

  "The curate wants it," repeated the gobernadorcillo. "I've promisedhim that his wish shall be carried out."

  "Then why did you have us assemble here?"

  "F-for the very purpose of telling you this!"

  "Why didn't you tell us so at the start?"

  "I wanted to tell you, gentlemen, but Capitan Basilio spoke and Ihaven't had a chance. The curate must be obeyed."

  "He must be obeyed," echoed several old men.

  "He must be obeyed or else the alcalde will put us all in jail,"added several other old men sadly.

  "Well then, obey him, and run the fiesta yourselves," exclaimed theyouths, rising. "We withdraw our contributions."

  "Everything has already been collected," said the gobernadorcillo.

  Don Filipo approached this official and said to him bitterly, "Isacrificed my pride in favor of a good cause; you are sacrificing yourdignity as a man in favor of a bad one, and you've spoiled everything."

  Ibarra turned to the schoolmaster and asked him, "Is there anythingthat I can do for you at the capital of the province? I leave forthere immediately."

  "Have you some business there?"

  "We have business there!" answered Ibarra mysteriously.

  On the way home, when Don Filipo was cursing his bad luck, old Tasiosaid to him: "The blame is ours! You didn't protest when they gaveyou a slave for a chief, and I, fool that I am, had forgotten it!"