No Messin' with My Lesson

by Nancy Krulik

  The other kids seemed to like the cookies a lot. They chowed down on them. When they were finished eating, Katie’s mom took the empty plate into the house. “Don’t stay out here too long,” she warned Katie as she went inside. “You have to do your homework.”

  Katie nodded. “We don’t have too much,” she assured her mother.

  “Does anyone else think Mrs. Derkman is acting especially weird lately?” Suzanne asked the others once Mrs. Carew was gone and they were alone.

  “I’ll say,” Becky agreed. “Did you hear her yelling at Speedy yesterday?”

  “Poor little hamster,” Katie agreed.

  George stood up. He wrinkled his brow and scrunched up his mouth. He pretended to look through a pair of glasses.

  “Speedy, there will be no scratching in this classroom,” he said, imitating Mrs. Derkman. “And there will be no running on the hamster wheel. There is no running in the classroom at all. Save that for the playground.”

  Katie giggled.

  “No laughing, Katie,” George said in a stern voice. “School is not supposed to be fun.”

  “It sure wasn’t fun today,” Jeremy said. “I was afraid to breathe.”

  “That’s the new rule,” George said. “From now on, students are only allowed to breathe during lunch.”

  The kids all laughed. George was imitating their teacher perfectly.

  “That’s pretty good, George,” Jeremy giggled.

  “Yeah, you sound just like Mrs. Jerkman,” Suzanne agreed.

  Suddenly, the kids heard footsteps on the sidewalk. They stopped laughing and turned around.

  “Uh-oh,” Becky murmured.

  Mrs. Derkman was standing in her drive-way. She had just arrived home from school. Katie was sure her teacher had heard them talking about her.

  “We’re in trouble now,” George whispered.

  But Mrs. Derkman didn’t say a word. She just turned, and sadly went into her house.

  Chapter 5

  When Katie arrived at school the next morning, everyone was upset. And not because of how strict Mrs. Derkman had become. The kids were fighting with one another—and it was all because of Suzanne’s advice column.

  “I don’t know what your problem is,” Katie heard Jeremy say to Manny. “All I said was that you don’t run fast enough to be on our team in the relay race.”

  “That’s really mean,” Manny replied.

  “I’m just being honest,” Jeremy told him. “You’re not a fast runner. As your friend, I owe it to you to tell you the truth.”

  Jeremy and Manny weren’t the only ones having an argument. George and Kevin weren’t getting along too well, either.

  “Here’s my new joke,” George said. “What do you call a jogging almond?”

  “What?” Kevin asked.

  “A health nut!” George laughed, but Kevin didn’t.

  George looked at him strangely. “Don’t you get it?”

  Kevin nodded. “I get it. I just don’t think it’s funny.”

  George’s eyes opened wide. “What do you mean it’s not funny?” he demanded.

  “Hey, don’t get mad at me,” Kevin insisted. “I’m just being honest.”

  George stormed away.

  It wasn’t only the boys who were having trouble with the truth. As she turned away from George, Katie spotted Zoe Canter sitting under a tree. She was crying. Katie walked over to see what was wrong.

  “What’s up, Zoe?” she asked.

  “Miriam and Mandy just told me not to meet them at the mall on Saturday,” Zoe told Katie between sobs.

  “Why would they do that?”

  Zoe shrugged. “They said they honestly wanted some time alone. Now I have nothing to do. I can’t believe they’re leaving me out like this.”

  Katie sighed. The kids were taking Suzanne’s advice too seriously. Sometimes, the truth hurt. Katie decided to talk to Suzanne about it. Maybe her friend could write a new article for next week’s paper—one that was about not hurting other people’s feelings.

  But, before Katie could speak to Suzanne, Mrs. Derkman blew her whistle three times. It was time to go inside.

  The kids were still arguing as they walked into the classroom, put their homework in the bin, and hung up their jackets. As soon as everyone was in their seats, Mrs. Derkman called for quiet.

  “You have to be especially well-behaved now,” Mrs. Derkman reminded the class. “The judges for the Teacher of the Year Contest will be here any day now. It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day.”

  “You mean we have to be good for three whole days?” George asked. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

  Mrs. Derkman didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. The look on her face was enough to make George be quiet.

  “She’s in a bad mood again!” Suzanne mumbled under her breath.

  Unfortunately, she wasn’t so quiet that Mrs. Derkman couldn’t hear her. The teacher’s face got even more angry. She stared at the second row. “Did you say something . . . Katie?” she asked.

  “No,” Katie assured her honestly.

  “Yes, you did,” Mrs. Derkman said. “I heard you.”

  “It wasn’t me,” Katie insisted. “It was . . .” Katie stopped herself. She didn’t want to squeal on Suzanne.

  “There is no rudeness allowed in this class. Go down and sit in Mr. Kane’s office,” Mrs. Derkman told her. “You need to spend some time thinking about how your words affect others.”

  “But I . . .”

  “No buts, Katie. I said go to Mr. Kane’s office.”

  Katie could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She was being punished, and she hadn’t done anything wrong. That was the worst feeling in the world.

  The hallway was empty as Katie made her way toward the principal’s office. Suddenly, she felt a cool, gentle breeze blowing on the back of her neck. She looked up to see if a window was open. But all the windows in the hallway were shut tight. So were the doors. The breeze wasn’t coming from outside.

  Oh, no! The magic wind was back!

  Within seconds, the wind began to swirl around Katie like a wild tornado, blowing her hair all around her face. Katie shut her eyes tight. The wind grew stronger—so strong that Katie thought it would blow her away!

  And then it stopped. Just like that. The magic wind was gone.

  Which could only mean one thing. Katie had turned into someone else. The question was, who?

  Chapter 6

  “What page should we turn to, Mrs. Derkman?” Katie heard someone ask.

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. She looked around. The room was very familiar. There was a hamster by the window, rows of desks, and a bulletin board that said “Math Rules!” on the back wall.

  Katie knew this classroom very well. This was her classroom. Class 3A.

  Okay, so now she knew where she was. But she didn’t know who she was.

  “Mrs. Derkman,” Mandy said again. “You didn’t tell us what page to turn to.”

  All eyes seemed to be on Katie. Katie looked down at the floor. There were sensible leather shoes on her feet. She was wearing a black skirt that just covered her knees, and a long-sleeved white blouse. Katie would never wear boring clothes like that.

  But Mrs. Derkman would!

  Oh, no! Katie had turned into her teacher!

  Katie gulped. She didn’t know anything about being a teacher. She didn’t even know what book the kids had on their desks. She’d been in the hall when Mrs. Derkman had started the lesson.

  But there was one person who knew how to be Mrs. Derkman. And he did it perfectly. Katie thought back to yesterday, when George had imitated Mrs. Derkman. She tried to do what he had done. She wrinkled her brow, and scrunched up her mouth. She looked down through Mrs. Derkman’s half-glasses.

  “Mrs. Derkman, do you have a toothache?” Miriam Chan asked her.

  Katie sighed. Obviously, she didn’t look as much like Mrs. Derkman as she’d thought. She was never going to be able to teach her f
riends anything.

  But she had to do something with the class. Otherwise, they were sure to figure out that she wasn’t really their teacher. Katie thought for a moment. Then she came up with a plan.

  “Class, I’ve changed my mind,” Katie said finally. “We’re going to start the day with free reading. Everyone, take out your books.”

  The kids all looked at one another. They never started the day with free reading.

  “What are you waiting for?” Katie scolded them, trying to sound like Mrs. Derkman. “Take out your books.”

  The kids did as they were told. As they began to read, Katie sat down at Mrs. Derkman’s desk. The blue notebook Mrs. Derkman always carried was sitting right there. Maybe there was some clue in there about what Mrs. Derkman had wanted to teach today.

  Katie opened the notebook. On the first page was a list of the kids in class 3A. Next to each of the names was a row of letters. She looked at the first one.

  Kevin Camilleri: B, B+, A, C

  Katie slammed the book shut.

  The blue book was Mrs. Derkman’s grade book. Katie didn’t want to look at her friends’ test grades. Well, maybe she wanted to, but she knew she shouldn’t. Grades were private.

  Katie sat back in Mrs. Derkman’s big, wooden chair and sighed. Her only hope was that the magic wind would blow again and turn her back into herself before she actually had to teach anything.

  The trouble with that plan was that the magic wind only came when Katie was alone. Teachers were never alone in school. There were always kids around them. Teachers never even got to go to the bathroom. At least, Katie had never seen one get up to go.

  As Katie thought about her big problem, she heard whispering. She looked out at her friends. Becky was whispering something to Jeremy.

  “Becky!” Katie scolded her, trying to sound like their teacher. “We are reading now.”

  Becky looked back down at her book.

  One minute later, Katie watched as a note flew across the room and landed on Zoe’s desk. Katie knew that Mrs. Derkman would take the note and read it out loud. But Katie couldn’t be that mean.

  “Zoe, throw that in the garbage right now,” she said instead.

  Zoe stood up and did as she was told.

  After that, everyone was quiet. At least for a few minutes. Then Kevin started drumming his fingers on his desk. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap.

  George began humming as he read. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.

  The sound was driving Katie crazy. “Kevin! George!” she shouted, her voice suddenly sounding shrill and sharp. “This isn’t music class. There’s no singing or drumming here. You need to be quiet.”

  “Boy, Mrs. Jerkman is really mean today,” Mandy whispered to Suzanne.

  Katie frowned. She hadn’t been trying to be mean. She’d just been trying to make sure everyone could read. Obviously, free reading time wasn’t working. Katie was going to have to teach a lesson whether she liked it or not.

  She wrote a division problem on the board.

  “Okay, class, put away your books,” Katie said. “We’re going to have a math lesson. Today, we will review division.”

  It was better to review something than to teach something new. After all, Katie didn’t know anything new.

  “Fifteen divided by three is five,” Jeremy said.

  “Very good,” Katie agreed.

  “That’s not good,” Suzanne interrupted.

  “It’s not?” Katie asked her.

  “No. He called out. We’re not allowed to call out,” Suzanne explained.

  Oops. Suzanne was right. Mrs. Derkman did not allow anyone to answer a question without raising his or her hand.

  “So what?” Becky butted in. “He was right, wasn’t he?”

  “But he didn’t follow the rules,” Suzanne said.

  “Well, neither did you,” Jeremy told her. “You just called out, too.”

  Before Katie could say anything, Mr. Kane entered the room. He was followed by a stranger in a blue suit. The stranger was carrying a notebook. The two men walked quietly to the back of the room. Mr. Kane smiled and whispered something to the visitor.

  Suddenly, Katie had a horrible thought. The stranger must be the judge for the Teacher of the Year Contest. He was going to judge Mrs. Derkman right now. And Mrs. Derkman wasn’t even there!

  This was so not good.

  Chapter 7

  There was nothing Katie could do but keep on teaching. Quickly, she scribbled another division problem on the board.

  “Who can answer this question?” Katie asked the class. “What is twenty-seven divided by nine?” Lots of kids raised their hands. “Kevin?” Katie said.

  “Four,” Kevin said confidently.

  Katie nodded and turned to the blackboard. She began to write another problem on the board.

  But, before she could, Mandy raised her hand. “Mrs. Derkman?”

  “Yes, Mandy?” Katie asked.

  “Kevin’s not right,” Mandy told her. “Twenty-seven divided by nine equals three.”

  “It does not,” Kevin argued.

  “Sure it does,” Mandy told him. “Because nine times three equals twenty-seven.”

  “Uh, very good, Mandy. I must have heard Kevin incorrectly,” muttered Katie.

  Mandy smiled at Katie. “I know all my times tables perfectly, Mrs. Derkman.”

  “You’re stuck-up,” Kevin said.

  “That’s not nice,” Miriam chimed in.

  “I’m just being honest, like Suzanne said we should be,” Kevin told her.

  “You’re jealous because I’m better in math and sports than you are,” Mandy told him.

  “You’re not so great, Mandy,” Becky butted in. “You’re not the best soccer player in the class. Jeremy is. And that’s the honest truth!”

  Katie knew she had to calm the kids down. But how? “You guys, come on,” she said helplessly.

  No one listened to her. Instead, the arguing got worse. “Becky, you always say things like that,” Suzanne said. “Everyone knows you have a big, fat crush on Jeremy.”

  Jeremy blushed. He turned to Suzanne. “Well, as long as we’re being honest,” he said, “you look like a banana in that yellow dress!”

  Suzanne gulped. No one had ever said anything bad about her clothes before. “I do not!” she shouted. “This is a very cool outfit. Everybody thinks so.”

  “I don’t,” Becky said. “I think Jeremy is right. You do look like a banana.”

  “You don’t know anything about style,” Suzanne shouted back.

  “You think you’re the best at everything,” Becky said to Suzanne.

  “I do not!” Suzanne shouted back.

  “I’m just telling the truth,” Becky said. “But you’re not the best. Can you do this?” Becky leaped out of her seat and did a back flip. She landed on the floor in a split.

  Katie looked helplessly at the class. She gulped. Mr. Kane was still standing there in the back of the room. But he didn’t look happy anymore. His face was beet red, and his eyes were bulging. A vein was throbbing at the top of his bald head.

  The principal couldn’t take the arguing anymore. He took a step toward the front of the room and opened his mouth to speak.

  But, before Mr. Kane could say a word, the judge tapped him on the shoulder. He whispered something in the principal’s ear. Mr. Kane whispered something back. The judge shook his head.

  Mr. Kane threw his hands up in the air. “This is a disaster!” he said. Then he stormed out of the room. The door slammed shut behind him.

  The judge did not leave the room. He stayed to watch what would happen next. From the look on his face, Katie could tell he was very disappointed at the way things were going. So, Katie did a very un-Derkman thing. She leaped up on a desk and whistled—loud.

  The kids stopped talking and stared at their teacher. Mrs. Derkman had never done anything like that before.

  “Okay, everyone sit down,” Katie said. “This is not a nice way to act.”
r />   “But we’re just being honest,” Suzanne said. “Friends have to be honest with each other.”

  Katie nodded. “There’s a difference between being honest, and being mean,” she said. “I think maybe you were using Suzanne’s advice column as an excuse to be mean. And that is totally not okay.”

  Totally not okay? The kids all stared at one another. Mrs. Derkman never spoke like that.

  “I think it’s okay to be honest if you’re trying to help someone. But you should do that in private. And sometimes it’s better to keep quiet than to say something that’ll hurt your friend’s feelings. You guys didn’t care whose feelings you hurt.”

  The class stared at her. Mrs. Derkman never called her class you guys. She always called them children or students. Mrs. Derkman sure was acting strange.

  But she was right. And the kids knew it.

  At first, no one said anything. Then, Mandy turned to Kevin. “I guess it wasn’t nice to say you weren’t good in math or sports. You’re really good at basketball.”

  Kevin nodded. “Thanks. And you’re amazing in math. I guess I was just mad that I got the problem wrong.”

  Katie smiled at the class. “I think we should put our math books away. I have a better lesson.” She began to hand out pieces of paper. “I want each of you to make a list of everyone in this class. Then I want you to write one nice thing about each of your class-mates.”

  “I’ll start with George. He’s really funny,” Jeremy said as he began his list.

  “Suzanne has great style,” Becky said, writing on her paper. “And Jeremy is an awesome soccer player.”

  “Zoe is a terrific artist,” Miriam added as she wrote.

  “Manny has good handwriting,” Suzanne murmured as she began to make up her list.

  Before long, the kids were all busy writing. Katie looked back at the contest judge. He seemed really happy to see the students interested in their work!

  But would that be enough for Mrs. Derkman to win the contest?

  Chapter 8

  Somehow, Katie managed to get through the rest of the day as Mrs. Derkman. When school ended, she was really tired. Keeping a whole class of third-graders busy and out of trouble wasn’t easy. Katie just wanted to go home and relax.