Sun Touched (Diamara Book 1)

by J. C. Hart

  Madea frowned. "Let me guess. Rickard couldn't keep his mouth shut about Jaxon, and you had to come and see for yourself?"

  "Jaxon?" Sarai's surprise was genuine. "Who is Jaxon? Are you living with a man now?" She cocked her head, eyebrows pushed together as she tried to put the pieces in place. It was so comical that Madea couldn't help but laugh.

  "So he didn't tell you...okay, second time lucky. He hinted that there was something you didn't know, and he was worried, so you rushed over here to see what you could do?"

  "Exactly. I don't like mysteries. Now, who is Jaxon?" Sarai pushed her way past Madea and swept into the lounge. Her sister froze as she laid eyes on the boy, still fast asleep on the couch. Sarai backed out of the room. "A boy? Why is there a boy in your lounge?" she whispered.

  Madea grabbed her by the elbow and led her into the kitchen. "That's Jaxon. The short version is that his mother was Hollowed, and I'm looking after him now." Madea shrugged, as if it were nothing major.

  "But—"

  "No buts. You either accept it, or you stay away. What's it going to be?" She had always needed to take a firm stance with her sister, who had often fallen into line with her father’s decisions.

  "Of course I'll accept it, if it means that much to you—"

  "It does. You and Rickard are going to have to trust me. I need supportive people around me. I don't have time for people who won't be."

  "I think you should talk to Dad." Sarai's gaze slid away from Madea's as she said the words.

  "Okay," Madea said with a huff. She tried to pitch her voice right, tried to make it sound like she was caving in. She needed to see her father anyway, so she may as well let Sarai think she was winning a battle.

  "Really?" Sarai shoulders shot back and her eyes lit up. "You'll talk to him about all of this?" She waved her arms in the air.

  "Well, maybe not everything, but I will talk to him. He should know that he's going to be a grandfather. Right?"

  "Oh, Maddy." Sarai threw her arms around Madea and squeezed. "He might be surprised, but he'll come around. I know he will," Sarai gushed as she pulled away. "Thank you for doing this, it means a lot. When can we go? Now?"

  Madea shook her head, though she had to suppress a grin at her sister's glee. "He'll be at work, remember? And I have work, too. Why don't you see if you can arrange dinner tonight? Just us, and Dad." She stared at her sister who scrunched up her nose, but eventually nodded.

  "Okay. I'm sure I can do that. He'll be so pleased to see you."

  "You act like he misses me or something. Like I'm the one causing the problems."

  "Well...I mean, it's not just your fault. You're as stubborn as each other. I guess that's something you got from him." Sarai grinned. It did nothing to alleviate the ache in Madea's stomach. In fact, the whole room seemed to be spinning, enough to make her feel uneasy.

  She was the problem? Or at least a part of it? "Well, let me know what you've organised. I should get ready for work." Madea only made two steps before Sarai grabbed her arm.

  "What about Jaxon?"

  "What about him?" Madea frowned.

  "You can't leave him here by himself."

  "No. No, I guess I can't. He's used to being alone, but I need to make some arrangements..." She trailed off. Last night, she thought she had been doing well, but really she'd been deluding herself. How did other people do this? Who looked after children when their parents went back to work? It wasn't something she'd ever concerned herself with.

  "I can stay for a bit, if that would help?" Sarai offered.

  "Really?"

  "Of course. I said I'd support you, Maddy. Didn't you believe me?"

  "I...thanks. Let me get dressed, and then I'll wake him and you guys can get to know each other before I leave."

  "Sounds perfect. I'll go make some tea," Sarai called as she headed into the kitchen.

  Confusion and dizziness swamped Madea, making her feet so heavy that she struggled to make it to her room, where she flopped onto the bed. She wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. Was she really the one to blame for the rift with her father? Did she not trust her sister, whose only betrayal—falling for Rickard—had been no real betrayal at all? And what made her think she could parent anyone, even a six year old who seemed fairly self-sufficient, let alone a baby?

  By the time she left her house, she was running late, again, but she didn't think Sullivan would hold it against her. At least this morning she wasn't throwing up. She almost felt okay with the world. Jaxon was cared for, and the small wooden box that was like a stone in her jacket pocket would be delivered to her father that night, if all went to plan. Hopefully she could get some time alone with him, get him to explain what was going on. Sarai had no place in whatever mess Madea had managed to get involved in, that was for sure. And Garrett, whatever role he had to play in it all, well, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of contact. He could come to her if it was really that important. She didn't need him.

  Madea swiped her thumb against the pad and entered the lab, pausing as she always did to hear where Sullivan was. There was no noise in the building though, other than the hum of the lights and the slight buzz of equipment. By now he should be hard at work, there should be music flooding the room and he should be so caught up in whatever he was doing that he wouldn't notice her arrival until he needed something from her.

  "Sullivan?" His name hung in the air and her brain shuffled through all the potential causes for the strangeness she felt. She thumbed the door closed and headed for his office. The door was locked, so she entered the pin code and pushed against it. There was weight behind it, more than the door, and there wasn't much give.

  "Sullivan!" she called, her voice frantic. It had to be him pressed against the door. She grabbed a chair and shoved again, wedging it in before the door slammed shut.

  "What have you done," she muttered as she forced the chair further into the gap and tried to jam the door open. After a few minutes of giving it her best, the door moved enough that she could get the seat of the chair in. She stepped over it, squeezing into the office. The muscles in her groin ached, but she ignored that as she knelt beside Sullivan, fingers reaching to press against his neck.

  He still had a pulse, that was the main thing, though his skin was pale and his hair damp with sweat.

  "Sullivan." She pushed against his chest, trying to get a response out of him, but he didn't move. Madea crossed to the desk, grabbing the comm from under the mess of screens and vials, and those damn tablets, and speed dialling the special medical team. She wasn't equipped to deal with an overdose, and that was the only explanation she could think of.

  "I need some help at the lab in Dome Three. My boss seems to have overdosed. No, I don't know what, exactly, I have some of the pills, but I don't know what he's put in them. No, he's not conscious, just hurry up! He needs help." She ended the call, not waiting for a response, and dropped to the floor at Sullivan's side. "Come on, come around, you idiot. What were you thinking?" She shook him again, but he still didn't respond.

  At least he was breathing.

  Madea glanced around the office, trying to figure out what might be in the pills. She'd never wanted to know—never really wanted anything to do with it before. What had he taken? She leaned in and took a sniff of his breath. There was something there, a tang she wasn't familiar with. Perhaps he'd mixed something new?

  "Come on," she said again, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. His head banged against the door and she swore.

  "Wazz appening?" He slurred the words, and his eyes fluttered open.

  Relief flooded through her. "You overdosed, you idiot. I was so worried." She dug her nails into her palms, resisting the urge to slap him. Her heart still hammered and she took a deep breath, collapsing on the floor beside him.

  "Nahhhh. Dint." His hand twitched in her direction, but he couldn't seem to get it to work properly.

  "Shut up, Sullivan. Don't die on me. Okay?"

  "Kay.
" He went silent, his breathing evened out and his body slumped further, but she was done worrying. He would make it.

  The muscles in her abdomen tightened, cramping worse than before. She'd had to push hard to get through the door, and now she was paying the price. She didn't have long to contemplate that before the medical team burst through the door.

  "Over here," she called, waving to them. Sullivan's head was cushioned in her lap. He hadn't said anything more. Whether that was because he was obeying her or because he couldn't speak, she didn't know. She didn't have the energy to find out.

  Madea waited while they lifted him onto a stretcher, then pulled herself upright. She folded her arms across her stomach, hoping the pressure would ease the cramps. "The tablets on the table are what he must have taken. He said something though, said he didn't overdose."

  "We'll take it from here, Miss. Thanks." One of the men nodded, scanning her face before his eyes flicked to her tense arms. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine." She waved him away with a hand. "Just pulled a muscle trying to get through the door."

  "I can take a look if you'd like."

  "No, it's fine. Really." She softened her too harsh tone with a smile. "Take care of him for me, will you? I'll come and check on him as soon as I get a chance." They carted him away and she watched, anxiety gnawing at her. He would be okay. There was nothing to worry about, she reassured herself.

  The mess in the office was worse than normal. Who knew what he had done, and if he would even remember when he came out of the state he was currently in. She went back to looking around the room for clues about what had happened.

  Because despite the slur, he'd been clear about one thing—he hadn't overdosed.

  By the time she got home, Madea felt drained. Unfortunately, she still had to pull herself together enough to have dinner with her father. The box was still in her pocket, her cramps seemed to have faded, and Sullivan had been coherent when she'd checked in on him, though unwilling to elaborate on what had happened. Stubborn man.

  Jaxon and Sarai were curled up on the couch with some children’s books when she came into the lounge. It hit her that there was always someone else present in the house now, always noise, always space being occupied by someone other than herself. Madea had never thought she was a loner, but perhaps that was the case. Her nerves felt scattered and frayed and she wished, for just a moment, that shutting herself in her room meant she could feel alone. She would always know though, always be aware of the other presence in the house.

  "How was your day?" Sarai scooted off the couch and came over to give her a quick hug. Madea felt a little like a husband then, returning from work to the family. Right now she wished she was still at work. It was a happier thought than dinner at the family home.

  "It was...eventful. I'll tell you about it later. Where did you get those?" She pointed at the books.

  "Oh, we went for a walk, got a few bits and pieces. I thought—well, you needed some stuff." Sarai shrugged apologetically. "I hope that's okay?"

  "Of course it is." Madea crossed to Jaxon and sat down beside him. "Did you have fun with Sarai?"

  "Yup." He nodded, then leaned in and whispered in her ear, "She's really nice."

  "I know," Madea whispered back with a smile. "Are you okay to hang here for a little bit? I think I need to lie down."

  "Sure." Sarai’s brows knitted together in concern. "You don't want to talk about what happened today?"

  "Not right now." Madea's eyes flashed towards Jaxon, and Sarai nodded. "Is dinner organized?"

  "We're eating at seven, and Rickard will come hang out with Jaxon."

  "Great." Madea smiled, and pushed herself up from the couch. "I'll be back soon, I— I just need to lie down for a few minutes."

  Sarai flashed her a sympathetic smile, then took her place on the couch and picked up Jaxon's discarded book. Madea felt a twinge of guilt, like she should be doing more, but the pull of solitude was too strong to resist.

  She closed her bedroom door and threw herself down on the crumpled and twisted sheets. She hadn't made her bed that morning, hadn't even thought about it. So quickly her life had changed, her routine usurped. It seemed like not a single day went by where something didn't happen to make things more complicated.

  A sob wracked her body. She dragged a pillow to her stomach, fingers clenched tight around it and released the wave of sadness that crashed down on her. Nothing was going right. She wasn't strong enough for this, wasn't equipped to deal with a kid, a baby, potential madness, conspiracy theories and a recovering boss/ex-lover. Was he her ex now? Could they ever enjoy each other’s bodies again, knowing that their child was growing inside her? It was a mess. More than a mess, it was total chaos. What had she done to deserve any of this? Even one of these things, just one, would be enough for someone to deal with. Not all of it, not all at once.

  Her sob became a giggle, slightly hysterical, as pictures played out in her head. It wasn't chaos. It was comedy. Back on Earth, they'd have a TV show about someone like her and all the crazy things that went wrong in her life. The audience would laugh and realize how trivial their own difficulties were. She would laugh with them, because somewhere in the middle of it all, something good would happen and she'd realize it wasn't so bad.

  Taking Jaxon in was good. She may not be the best mother, but she could learn, and it had to be better than him growing up unwanted, passed around between family members because his father was someone to fear.

  And Sullivan was a grown man. He could take responsibility for his actions, like everyone else did—like she was. This baby wasn't expected, but unless she'd managed to dislodge it when she tried to help him today, it was going to come into this world eventually, and she would love it, the way her mother had loved her.

  If she managed not to go mad before then, anyway.

  Garrett sprang into her mind, with his smarmy smile and that glint in his eye. He knew something, but he wasn't willing to tell her what, instead handing her a box and forcing her to speak to her father before she was ready. When would she ever really be ready to speak to him?

  Madea took a breath, holding it in until she thought she'd burst. She brushed the tears off her face and sat up. She'd had a cry, allowed herself a moment to wallow in self-pity, and now she needed to get on with things. She had a dinner to prepare for.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  She wore the blue dress again. The way it flowed over her body made her smile, even if she didn't have fond memories from the last time she wore it. Well, they weren't all bad, but she didn't want to dwell on the night she'd found out that Sarai and Rickard were engaged.

  "You're wearing that?" Sarai asked when Madea stepped out of her bedroom. "You know it's just dinner at Dad's, right?"

  "I wanted to make an impression." Madea chose her words carefully. It was going to be hard enough to get their father alone tonight, without Sarai getting curious. She should have thought about that before she put on the dress. For some reason though, it just felt right. The blue of the fabric mimicked the blue of Garrett's eyes, now that she thought about it.

  Why was that man intruding on her thoughts, again?

  "How long until Rickard gets here?" she asked.

  "I'm already here." His voice came from the kitchen. "Did you want some tea?"

  "No, thanks," Madea called back. "I didn't even hear him come in," she said to Sarai.

  "He's sneaky when he wants to be." Her sister winked and Madea smiled.

  "Are you going to be okay, Jaxon?" She crossed to where he sat, still on the couch, still with the books. "I'll try not to be gone long."

  "I'm okay." He grinned at her. "I like Rickard, he's nice."

  She felt a stab of pain in her chest at those words, realizing that in the grand scheme of things she was probably no more, or less, important than any of the people in this house now. With Sullivan under medical care for a few days, perhaps Jaxon could come to work with her and they could spend some more time bonding.

/>   "Okay." She let out her breath. "I'll see you soon then." She reached out and fluffed his hair with one hand, giving him a smile. She stood, setting her shoulders. "Let's do this then."

  "It won't be that bad," Sarai said. She looped an arm with Madea's and led her to the door.

  "You would say that, you're his favourite." She couldn't keep the pout out of her voice.

  "Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you. I don't know why you act like this, or why he gets all defensive when I try to talk about you, but I do know that he loves you. And you love him too, right?"

  "I guess, yes." Why was it that whenever they talked about him, she felt like a twelve year old girl again? She wasn't a child any more, but she sure knew how to act the part. "I'll try to behave like an adult. Happy?"

  "Yes." Sarai grinned and pulled her into the transport that waited. "He'll be happy too."

  When they pulled up at their father's house a few minutes later, there was a servant waiting on the steps. He tried to take Madea's bag, but she waved him off. The box hadn't left her person since Garrett had given it to her, and she wasn't going to lose track of it now.

  "Sarai, Madea!" Their father beamed, taking them into his embrace one at a time. When it was Madea's turn she tried to relax into it. He was getting old. She could see lines on his face that she hadn't noticed the other night, and his body felt frailer than the last time they had hugged. Her nose stung, but she wouldn't spill a tear. It wasn't only her fault that they weren't close.

  "Father," she said, keeping the hitch from her voice. "What's for dinner?" Keep it even, Madea, keep it neutral.

  "Lasagne. I remembered it was your favourite when you were little." His eyes scanned her face.

  "I still like it," she said with a smile. A genuine one.

  "Come on, I'm starving. You need more food at your place, Maddy." Sarai led them towards the dining room.

  "What were you doing there?" her father asked.

  Madea tried to catch Sarai's gaze, before she said too much.

  Sarai frowned. "Sullivan had an accident at work, and I was checking that Madea was okay. Right, Sis?"