Sun Touched (Diamara Book 1)

by J. C. Hart

  "We, the sooner we get him," Garrett said, his tone firm.

  "We'll talk about that when we get back," Madea said. This time she reached for his hand. She wanted to feel his steadiness, to soak a little of that up before she decided whether to tell him about what she had seen, what she'd felt, from the creature in the water. Garrett’s grip was strong as he pulled her away from the lake.

  "Are you okay?" he asked with a glance backwards.

  "I'm trying to get my head around all of this." It wasn't a lie. There was a lot to take in, a lot to learn, and she didn't have all the information. What she did know was that her mother was alive, that her father could not be trusted, that Rickard was Jaxon's father—and that there was more to these creatures than anyone was telling her.

  They walked in near silence back to the hatch in the ground. Madea wouldn't have been able to find it had not it been for Garrett, though she made a point of memorising the rocks and trees closest to it. Just in case. The trip back through the grey-walled tunnels was quicker than she thought it should be, and when they began coming across people bustling down corridors, Madea spoke.

  "I need food. I don't think I can face Mother on an empty stomach. Or do we have to report in?" She dropped his hand, feeling the chill of the tunnels instantly steal the heat his hand had generated.

  Garrett frowned. "You're not being held hostage here, if that's what you think."

  "Not exactly, but we haven't really discussed the finer details."

  "That's a conversation you'll need to have with Tahra, but she's your mother and she loves you. If you want to eat first, then we can do that."

  "I'm ravenous." She smiled at him, hoping that he would take it in part as an apology. There was something about being back under the earth, away from the sky—even if it was filtered through the domes—that made her feel as though she might be crushed at any moment. It was more obvious now, after spending time outside with nothing to impede her.

  "Come on then," he said with a nod. "I know where you can get a top notch breakfast."

  Ten minutes later, Madea watched as Garrett mixed together pancake batter.

  "I never would have picked you for a cook," she said with a grin.

  "Well, I used to do a lot of the cooking for our family, back on Earth." He moved fluidly in his tiny kitchen, putting the pan on to heat and adding a little butter before giving the batter another stir.

  "How did you end up coming here?" She leaned forward, over the little kitchen bench, watching as he poured some into the pan. The smell was amazing and her mouth watered in response.

  "My Dad was pretty high up in agriculture. They figured he'd be able to help establish crops and other things. And he did, he worked his ass off. Died a couple years ago now, accident out of the domes. No one’s fault, really, but it meant that my mother and I lost the little prestige we had. She works in the fields still, so did I, that's how I got exposed. Out too long." He flipped the pancake over, nodding in satisfaction at the golden brown of it.

  "So I guess we have that in common." She took a deep breath. "I've been meaning to ask you, how did you do it?"

  "Do what?"

  "Expose me." She scanned his face, seeing a smidgen of remorse there.

  "As I've said, we've been watching you for a while. Me, mostly. We knew you would be out at your father's that night, so someone snuck into your home and tampered with your timer so that it wouldn't alert you. And then, when we had confirmation you'd left the domes, I was there. I injected you with a light sleep serum, enough to make sure you were exposed. Team effort." He grinned sheepishly.

  "Right." Madea pursed her lips. She couldn't fault the plan, she wasn't even sure she was still mad at him—or Tahra—now that she'd seen the creatures. But still, it spoke of the measures they were willing to go to. "And you're confident it's the right 'team'?"

  "I'm sure that it is. This is our home now, we need to adjust to life here and the creatures are part of that. Don't you think?"

  "I don't know yet. I'm still trying to get my head around it. I can't deny that they are here, or that they are impressive, but I'm yet to see that your tactics are really the best way of going about things."

  The stack of pancakes was growing, and Garrett gave the pan his full attention. Madea could see his shoulders stiffen.

  "How much do you know about the creatures?" she asked, as much to change the subject as to gather information.

  "As much as anyone else, I guess." He shrugged. "They seem to be drawn to something in us; a chemical, our thoughts, energy. We're not really sure. There doesn't seem to be any negative impact from the connection, but in reality, it's only been since your mother that we've known that there was more to it than madness. The fear of being Touched, the harsh reality of being Hollowed, is ingrained in all of us."

  "And you think that we can change that perception?"

  "We have some ideas. Don't you think everyone has a right to know? Wasn't it amazing? Don't you want to share that experience with those you love?" That fanatical gleam lit his eyes as he spoke.

  "I think that, as we've seen, it's quite a lot to take on board for anyone. Even with having some idea of what to expect it was overwhelming. You can't expect people to trust you, just because you say it's a worthwhile experience."

  "But it is worthwhile. Isn't it?"

  Madea sighed. "That's not the point! The point is that people should have the right to make decisions about how they live their life."

  Garrett placed his hands flat on the bench between them and leaned towards her. "But what if they won't let themselves see that there is an option?"

  Madea leaned back, creating some space to breathe. "I don't know." She shrugged. "I guess that's something that needs more thinking about," she said, hoping to placate him enough to switch topics again.

  "You'll get your head around it soon, I'm sure," he said confidently. He grabbed the plate of pancakes and placed it between them. "Butter?"

  "Sure." She laughed. "Now, about Jaxon..."

  "We've got maps that we can take a look at. Figure out the best route to get him."

  "I think I should go alone."

  "Tahra won't let that happen, so you might as well discard that idea now." Garrett shook his head. "Why would you want to go alone anyway?" He raised an eyebrow.

  "Jaxon doesn't know you, and he's already been through enough. I don't want to frighten him."

  "You'll be there. But I'm serious when I say that you're not going alone."

  "When I was swimming this morning I had an encounter with one of the creatures." She took a deep breath. She still wasn't sure that she wanted to divulge this information, but she hadn't been able to think of a good reason to keep it secret. "I saw some things, like the creature was showing me memories and thoughts that it had collected from someone else. Someone I knew."

  "Really?" He practically lunged across the bench, grasping her wrists. "Tell me more, what was it like?"

  "So I'm guessing you haven't experienced this?" She quirked an eyebrow.

  "No, at least I don't think so. I wish I had, that would be amazing. What did you see?"

  "I learned something that I think puts Jaxon at risk. I learned who his father is."

  "And?" Garrett was getting impatient now. She could tell that he wanted to know more about the experience, and was less concerned with what she had learned.

  "He's a friend of mine, and I don't know whether he knows that Jaxon is his son."

  "Does it really matter?"

  "It matters to me," Madea stated. "Now butter me some pancakes. I'm starving." She gave him a pointed stare and he shook his head, affecting his regular grin and getting back to the task at hand. She grabbed one and took a bite. "Hey, these are actually pretty good," Madea said, swallowing her mouthful.

  "I told you I'm a good cook." Garrett swiped one from the plate. His phone buzzed and he glanced at it with a frown. "Tahra needs to see us. Grab some for the road."

  She loaded one hand with panc
akes, shoving another into her mouth before following him out.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  "Well?" Tahra asked as soon as Garrett closed the door behind them. "Did it work? What took you so long?"

  "It did work. Madea fell asleep afterwards, and I thought she needed the rest, so we stayed—"

  "Don't you realize how dangerous that was? Anyone could have found you." Tahra planted her hands on the desk and stood, a vein in her neck pulsing.

  "It was perfectly safe. We were well away from the domes and you know none of the city folk venture out that far." Garrett's shoulders tensed.

  "And what about wild animals?"

  "I was with her the whole time. You know I would never jeopardise her safety." He took a step forward, the intensity on his face matching Tahra's.

  "I'm right here, you know, and I'm perfectly capable of looking out for myself." Madea slid herself between them, cutting her mother's gaze off from Garrett. "I know I'm new to this whole 'Touched' thing, but I'm not an innocent little girl who needs protecting."

  Tahra's wrath melted somewhat and she sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I've only had you back a few days. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

  Madea didn't say anything for a moment. The tension in the room was palpable, but she forcibly relaxed her shoulders and held out her hand to her mother. "Do you want a pancake? Garrett made them."

  Tahra shifted her glare back to him. "You stopped to make—"

  "They're really good. Here, try one." Madea pried one of Tahra's hands from the desk and placed a pancake in it. Her mother grudgingly took a bite, and a slow smile spread across her face. "Thanks, I guess I am a bit hungry. Still, you should have checked in first."

  "She's pregnant, Tahra, in case you'd forgotten. Pregnant women need to eat, you remember that, don't you?"

  "Again, I'm right here..." Madea bit her lip. "Is there any chance you could give me a moment with my mother?"

  "Sure." He frowned, flicking his gaze to Tahra and back again before heading for the door. Once he was gone Madea let out the breath she was holding.

  "I don't remember you being this..." She pursed her lips, struggling to find the right word.

  "This what?" Tahra asked.

  "This bitchy! I remember you as loving and kind. You were my rock, the one who made sure I settled in once we got here, made sure I had friends. You were my favourite parent." Her shoulders sagged.

  "And now?" Sadness tinged Tahra's voice.

  "Now I don't know." Madea shrugged. "I don't know what to think, or feel, but those things I thought I knew about you? There are only echoes of them now."

  "Things change, Madea. And yes, I've changed too. I had to let that woman go. You think I would have survived if I had clung to my past? It would have killed me, and there was no way I would give Carson that satisfaction." The sneer on Tahra's face transformed her into someone entirely different. In that moment there wasn't an ounce of the mother Madea had known, the mother she had hoped to regain. And then it fell away and there was loss in Tahra's eyes again. She gave a harsh bark of a laugh. "I guess I'm still bitter about that. I'm sorry. I know he's your father, but..."

  Madea shrugged. "It's okay. Sometimes I feel like that about him, too." She flicked her eyes around the room, taking in the books, the pictures. Her eyes fell on an old photo, crinkled at the edges. It was from back on Earth, back when they had all been a happy family. It was at the end of a canoeing trip, down some big old river a million miles from home. This photo had been taken by their guide once they'd pulled their canoe up on shore at the final destination. Their hair was knotted and sticking out all over the place, their eyes shadowed by fatigue. She could remember the way her skin had felt; grimy, despite having fallen into the water several times that day—or perhaps because of that—and yet she could see in her teenaged face a gleam of pride, of joy, which was mirrored in the faces of the rest of the family.

  What had happened between then and now? Everything was different. Her father power hungry and uncompromising in his desire to obtain whatever rank he was after, her mother transformed into something else entirely. Betrayal by her husband, discovery of the ether creatures and who knew what else shaping her into someone Madea was struggling to relate to. And yet there, in that photo, she could see that once they had been so happy, despite the difficulties of their trip.

  Apparently colonizing a new planet was a little harder than canoeing down a river.

  "Do you think we'll find a way to be mother and daughter again?" She said it softly, almost hoping that Tahra wouldn't hear, wouldn't have to try and find an answer.

  "Is that what you want?" Tahra bit her lip, reminding Madea of herself. Was it a trait she had picked up from her mother?

  "I want— I want for us to be something. I thought you were dead, and it's hard to get my head around the fact that you're not. Because you're alive, but you're not the same, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, or a thing you need to change, it's just something I've got to get my head around."

  "The same is true for you, Maddy. If you could see how different you are now...not bad different, but when I saw you last you were still in your teens, finding your path, following the way that had been set out for you. And now you're here, cast out like me." She moved from behind the desk and reached toward Madea who allowed herself to be pulled into an embrace. "And you're pregnant." The words were a whisper, so fragile, yet holding such hope, such loss. "I can't imagine how it would have felt to have known you were having a child and yet not be able to be there with you. To be able to hold my grandchild."

  "You could have contacted me. You could have said something," Madea said, a sob wracking her body. As much as she wanted to believe her mother's reasons for staying absent, she couldn't help but feel the pain of the knowledge that her mother had been out of reach from her own free will.

  "I'm sorry, Maddy, I'm so sorry. I wish I had been brave enough to break the silence. I wish I'd been more selfish." Tahra was crying too, tears making Madea's shoulder wet. "I hope that someday you can forgive me. I know it's going to take time, but I'm willing to do what it takes, if you want me to."

  Madea pulled back a little, wiping her eyes and sniffing back the last of her tears. "I do, but I need time."

  "I understand." Her mother nodded, giving her a warm smile. "I'm grateful for even that much."

  Madea smiled back. "Now, we need to talk about Jaxon. I need to get him back."

  "I know you think he's in danger—"

  "I do, and I need you to trust me on this one. If his mother and grandfather were Hollowed to protect his father, that means there is no one left to look out for him. And I don't know that he's safe with Rickard."

  "That doesn't mean it's your responsibility."

  "But it does. I brought him to my home and I made a promise to him. I told him I would be there for him and right now I'm not. I can't abandon him— I'm sorry." Madea's face flushed and she covered her mouth with her hands. "I wasn't trying to be cruel, and I'm not judging you. I'm not. He's already suffered enough, and I can't leave him just because you don't think it's safe to go get him."

  "I understand." Tahra nodded. Her voice was subdued, her gaze on the floor. "Why don't you and Garrett organize it, and he can let me know what your plan is. Okay?"

  "That's fine." Madea bit her lip, trying to figure out the right thing to say. "Mum? I mean it. I wasn't having a dig at you. I know it wasn't your choice to leave me, I know you stayed away for what you thought were the right reasons."

  "Thanks." She nodded again, still not meeting Madea's gaze. "Go on, you better get organized."

  "Okay, sure. I'll...um...I'll see you later." Madea stepped forward and gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek before retreating. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, letting out all the air in her lungs. Why couldn't anything be simple?

  "Are you okay?" Garrett asked. She hadn't noticed that he was sitting on the floor to the right of the doo
r.

  "I'll be fine." She gave him a small smile. "We've got work to do. Where to?"

  "Do you want to rest first? You look tired." He got up and moved towards her, gently grabbing her elbow in support.

  "No, I want to figure this out."

  "Alright." He shrugged. "Come on then." He led her down the tunnel. She wasn't sure where to, but she trusted him.

  "I think we should go tonight," Madea said.

  "Tonight? You don't think that's a bit soon? I doubt Tahra is going to agree."

  "I think we do it, and then tell her about it when we get back." Madea flashed him a grin.

  "And get another dressing down? No thanks. I'll have you know that she isn't done yelling at me for the last one."

  Madea stopped walking. "Is she always like that?"

  "Not always, no." He shook his head. "Unless it's something to do with you, then yes. She's been on edge ever since she decided she wanted to bring you in. I've never seen her this antsy before."

  "I guess that means she really does care." Madea bit her lip, still trying to figure out how she felt.

  "Of course she cares. I don't think she knows how to show it any more. You can understand that, right? I mean, when you see your family again, what are you going to say to them? How much will you tell them?"

  "I don't know..." Her stomach roiled thinking about it. Would Sarai and Rickard give her Jaxon if they thought she was crazy? She would have to take him even if they did. She couldn't leave him there with the chance that Rickard might do something to him. But would he? She had told him Jaxon's story and he'd given nothing away. If anything, he seemed to take a liking to the boy.

  Madea took a deep breath and glanced up at Garrett, only to find that he was watching her intently. "What?" she asked.

  "Wondering what's going on up here." He tapped his head with a finger. "Care to share?"

  "Thanks, but not right now. Sorry, I..."

  "You want to get Jaxon. I get it. So, do you have a plan?" Garrett resumed walking, and she trailed along behind him.

  "We have to check my place first, and if he's not there, we'll have to look at Dad's place, or Rickard's. I'm not sure where they would have taken him, but chances are high they aren't at mine anymore."