Confessions of a Demon

by S. L. Wright

  “I’m not; I’m nobody. I don’t get it.” I paced over to the windows, my arms crossed tightly.

  “They must have had some reason to buy your bar. Looks like it might be payback time,” he said carefully.

  I absently agreed. “Might be. I had better call Darryl and tell him I’m not coming home tonight.”

  Theo went into the bathroom while I called both the bar and Lolita on her cell to explain that I wouldn’t be coming home for a couple of days. They were worried about me, but I lied and said I was fine, that Shock just needed me to take care of her until she was better. Apparently, Savor had kept his word and had watched over the bar while I was busy dealing with Shock. Great. My debts to demons all over the Greater New York area were multiplying like crazy.

  When Theo emerged, he sat quietly in a chair in the corner, gazing out at the currents in the river. Heavy-laden barges plowed by from time to time, pushed by tiny tug-boats. Long trails of white foam separated in a V in their wake. Empty barges sat much higher in the water than the full ones.

  After I finished talking to my bartenders, I paced through the loft. The setting sun cast a pink glow on the high scudding clouds, as I tried to think of what else I could do. But waiting for Vex to return seemed like the smartest move. Vex was the only one who could give me a straight answer about what was going on.

  Finally I plopped down on the sofa, staring at the flaming sky and the dark mass of buildings across the silvery swath of river. Theo came to sit next to me and silently took my hand. I needed sustenance. Badly.

  His palm felt hot on mine, but I didn’t feed from him. Not yet. I held his hand lightly, taking comfort from the simple act.

  We sat together in the fading light. It felt good to relax with each other. I couldn’t remember the last time I had watched the sun set with a guy.

  He was so comfortable with me that it brought a lump to my throat. I was engulfed by a natural feeling much like my own signature, like a gentle swell of water lifting us up and carrying us along.

  Then I realized he was reining himself in, as if he didn’t want to feel too much. I took some of his conflicted emotions to give him some ease. It was a bittersweet feeling; it was so good it almost made me forget I was using him again. Then I abandoned myself to the pleasure of feeding.

  I don’t know how long we sat there, but it was full dark with a glorious view of the light-spangled skyline of the city, when I finally tried to pull my hand away. “It’s time for you to go, Theo.”

  His fingers tightened convulsively, as if he were hanging on to me to keep me from plummeting away. “I can’t.”

  I shook my head. “You aren’t staying here, Theo.”

  “Allay, you can’t trust the prophet. He’s completely focused on you, as if he wants something from you. He never even looked me in the eye.”

  “You should have seen how grudgingly he invited me to stay here. He’s only doing it because he knows I’m a good friend of his nephew.” I couldn’t tell Theo that Dread acted that way because I had deliberately connected with him, to get him to help me.

  “I don’t think so. What if this is a setup? What if he’s manipulating you? If only for your sister’s sake, you should have someone else involved who knows what’s going on.”

  My protest died on my lips. He had hit on my biggest fear—what if the people who were supposed to protect me were trying to kill me and Shock? I had to protect Shock.

  “You need someone you can trust, more than Fortunay,” he said, as if playing his last card. “That guy is shiftier than a Ferrari. And he has your sister.”

  I looked at him with new appreciation. “You’re right, Theo. But I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into, and it could be dangerous for you. Deadly, even. I can’t take that responsibility.”

  “I’m responsible for myself, just like you are for yourself. I’ve never met anyone with more determination than you. But any Marine will say you need a buddy at your side during combat.” He rubbed his blackened eye. “Even one who’s fallen a couple of times.”

  I smiled, leaning closer so I could brush his hair away from his forehead to look at the cut. “It’s not so bad. But you’ll probably have a scar there.”

  His arm circled my shoulders, pulling me in closer. It felt good when he touched me. “I don’t care,” he whispered.

  He was telling the truth. I put my hand on his chest, smiling up at him. Feeding on him in the darkness was simple and almost sweet. But the feel of him under me aroused other, more intense stirrings. I wanted to press myself on him, drink deep of his heady spirit, satiate myself until I was filled.

  There was a knock on the door, and I instantly jerked away. We both sat there, blinking at the door as if expecting someone to walk in. After a few moments, the knock came again, louder this time.

  Theo went to open it. A woman, even taller than he, was braced at attention outside. She wasn’t a demon, but the deadly focus that emanated from her was the next-best thing. I took in her short hair—nothing to grab in a fight—and her broad shoulders under the khaki uniform shirt, and knew she would be a lot to tangle with. Her stance said she was well trained, and her ramrod straight back screamed military, maybe Special Forces.

  I was instantly on alert, shaking off the logy, sensual feelings caused from cuddling with Theo. I hurried over to meet them at the door.

  “I’m Montagna, security chief of the Prophet’s Center,” she introduced herself crisply. Montagna gestured to a much shorter man who was pushing a rolling cart piled with shopping bags. “Delivery for Emma Meyers.”

  I peeked around the door. “What the hell… ?”

  I retreated as the porter pushed the cart inside. “Where do you want it, Ms. Meyers?” Montagna asked.

  “Anywhere.” I gestured vaguely to the foyer. “I don’t care.”

  Montagna stood back, checking us out while the porter briskly unloaded a dozen bags prominently marked SAKS FIFTH AVENUE. He stacked them in two rows, nearly filling the space along the wall by the door. Montagna gave them a last steely look, and the door shut behind them.

  Theo looked through the peephole until they disappeared. He tried the handle, and it turned. He opened the door slightly to be sure it wasn’t locked, then closed it again. He seemed relieved, but with the level of automation in this building, I didn’t doubt any door could be locked the instant Vex or Dread ordered it.

  I looked down at the array of bags. “How did they get it here so quick? By helicopter?”

  “I doubt they do this for all their VIP guests,” Theo said.

  “You think?” I asked sarcastically. The mood was completely shattered.

  I bent down and peeked between the layers of tissue. It contained an entire wardrobe, including boxes of satin undies of various shapes. Damn them, even the bras were the correct size.

  A white card was sticking up from one of the bags. It had Emma Meyers written on the front. I plucked it out and ripped open the note—I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. Sorry I missed you today.

  It was signed V. It wasn’t Vex’s handwriting, but I had no doubt it was written by his orders.

  So this was Vex’s doing. It was too much. What did Vex mean by this? Was it a message to Dread? To me?

  I stepped away from the bags. “You know what? I’m going to take a long, hot bath and try to forget about all this.”

  Theo nodded. “I’ll rustle up something for us to eat.”

  I gave him a grateful look, squeezing his arm in a wordless apology for snapping at him. I should have sent him away, but I was unnerved by Vex’s extravagant gesture. I remembered how hard I had to work to convince him to “loan Michael” the money to fix the structural problems on the facade of the bar. It wasn’t like Vex to toss presents at me—that was what Revel did. I don’t like this.

  The bathroom door was under the stairs, a big loftlike space with plenty of room between everything. It was a sensualist’s delight; the Fellowship encouraged its members to indulge the senses. Abso
lute autonomy required that they know and accept themselves in every aspect, good, bad, excesses, and inhibitions. The church said there were many paths to knowledge—emotional, spiritual, and physical.

  The steam shower had pulsing jets spaced around the marble and glass enclosure. The towels were thick and warmed by the rod, and the floor tiles were heated from below. The cabinets were filled with toiletries, unopened packets of makeup, hair accessories, and every beauty appliance imaginable.

  Since Vex had built some of the most notorious palaces in history, I wasn’t surprised by the luxury. Impressing potential allies was apparently a time-honored tactic.

  I decided to take a bath in the large Jacuzzi tub under one window; that would give me plenty of time to hide away. I could hear Theo in the kitchen, whistling as he prepared a meal I wouldn’t eat. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was to play hide-the-food with my napkin.

  I pulled aside the sheer curtains so I could see the night view, and lowered the lights. The water filled quickly, and when I undressed and slipped in, the frothing from the jets hid most of my body.

  Theo called through the door, “Food delivery.”

  He probably wanted to join me. But I had to be alone to deal with the food. Already preparing words to get rid of him, I called, “Okay, come on in.”

  Theo glanced down at the tantalizing glimpses of my body among the ripples, his eyes crinkling in appreciation. I barely responded. This was the part I hated, the maneuvering, the lying so he wouldn’t find out. This was why I should have sent him away.

  He set the plate on the ledge next to me, along with a glass of dark red wine. It was a light meal with assorted cheese, crackers, lots of fruit, and small crusty rolls.

  “Take your time.” Theo headed out. “I’m going to hit the couch.”

  Startled, I gave him a real smile of gratitude as he closed the door. He was being awfully accommodating, making it easy for me to let him stay. There was no pressure, no explanation required. It was exactly what I needed.

  But it wasn’t fair to him. I was lying to him, creating a relationship that wasn’t true. I felt guilty as I flushed the nice plate of food down the toilet. He deserved better. He was a good guy who said what he felt. His eyes told me more than most people did when they spoke out loud. I knew exactly how much he had doubted Dread’s intentions with every knowing glance he gave me. When he looked at me in a certain way, was it admiration? Lust? Or just his way of assuring me that I wasn’t alone?

  When he had put his arm around me on the couch, pulling me against him, it had been electrifying. How could one touch ignite me like that? His firm hands were so confident that they belonged on me, so sure in drawing me closer. If the doorbell hadn’t rung, I would have kissed him, and maybe more.

  No wonder he wouldn’t go away. Our bodies blazed up whenever we got close, and he was definitely getting possessive. Without a doubt, the maiden-in-distress routine was a powerful aphrodisiac. It wasn’t fair to ensnare him while feebly saying, “No… no… go away.…”

  I have to make him leave.

  I was in over my head. I’d stumbled into the midst of a demon power struggle, and as little as I cared about that, I needed help finding out who had attacked Shock—and making sure it didn’t happen again. It wasn’t right to use Theo as a human shield.

  I wrapped a thick white robe around myself and left the steamy bathroom. Putting the empty plate in the dishwasher, I couldn’t miss the huge pile of shopping bags gleaming under the spotlight in the foyer. The rest of the loft was dark, illuminated only by the lights of the city.

  Before I met with Vex, I needed to find out if it was true that he owned my bar. But I didn’t want to call Michael from here if they were watching me. It could get Michael into trouble.

  Is Dread looking at me now? Did he watch me bathe… like Revel, the consummate voyeur?

  Revel had been proud when he showed me his surveillance system in the Malibu house that he used to watch his entourage and listen in on what they were doing. He loved it all; the sex, the fights, the lies, the secrets told. I spied on them, too, and on one memorable occasion stroked him to orgasm as we watched.

  I couldn’t let a demon control me again. I had to make my own way, or I was sunk.

  I was willing to bet that Dread was full of shit and there were cameras in the loft. It was time to make a statement to both him and Vex. They might own the bar, but they didn’t own me.

  I drifted closer to Theo. He was sleeping on the couch, his head buried in a soft cushion. He had pulled off his shoes and T-shirt, and flung himself down wearing only his jeans.

  I could make my point with Vex and Dread while I also dealt with Theo. Much as I needed some quality backup, it wasn’t safe for him to get caught up in this. But I’d hooked him so thoroughly, I doubted anything would make him walk out on me now. I would have to aggravate him to the point where he’d give up and go away when I ordered him to.

  I pulled the tie on the belt of my robe, letting it fall open. My reflection in the windows flashed skin with every step. Theo didn’t stir.

  It wouldn’t be enough to deny him sex—he probably wasn’t expecting it, considering that he hadn’t pushed himself on me in the bathroom. I had to taunt him with it, then deny him. I had to be such an unbearable cock tease that it pissed him off to no end. A high- testosterone man who had possessed a woman once didn’t take kindly to not getting her again, especially when she was dangling herself in front of him.

  Sad to say, more than once I’d used the same technique to get rid of obsessed lovers. I couldn’t help it that I could tell exactly what they wanted, and that I felt compelled to give it to them so I could sip the flow of their contentment. Unfortunately, that drove men wild. If you gave them what they wanted, they got addicted.

  And if you wanted to get rid of them, all you had to do was fluctuate between being crazy needy and a raging bitch. That made even the most determined men go away. I would rather have been adult about ending my relationships, but a few men had hovered around the bar too long, waiting and hoping for me to come back to them, unable to understand why I didn’t want to see them again when we were “perfect” together. That was disturbing. I couldn’t let anyone watch me too closely, or they would discover I was different.

  But I could certainly show Dread a thing or two. The way he acted tomorrow morning should tell me if he was lying about the cameras. Then I could call Michael to find out why he hadn’t told me Vex owned my bar.

  I sat down on the couch, leaning back against Theo’s thighs. One arm was flung over his head and the other trailed off the edge. The glow from the city lights edged his cheekbones and chin, casting a deep shadow across his face.

  I touched his cheek with the backs of my fingers. He was looking pretty beat-up on my account. It hardened my resolve to send him away.

  Theo shifted under my touch and slowly opened his eyes. He drew in his breath, seeing the slice of chest and belly my open robe exposed.

  My fingers ran down his jaw to his mouth, shifting back and forth over his lips. His head tilted back, pulling away, as if it were too much.

  I expected him to put his arm around me as he did before, drawing me in so tenderly. But he closed his eyes, as if willing himself not to reach out to me. He was holding himself back.

  Bending over, I kissed him. His lips responded with such passion that it surprised me. He finally moved, clasping my arm, sending a surge of his desire through me in verdant plumes. My thighs shifted, squeezing together in anticipation.

  His mouth was a delight; soft, tender kisses in spite of his rising heat, as if promising devotion with everyone. We kissed as if there were nothing else in the world.

  Finally I pulled away. His fingers pressed my arm, but he didn’t try to draw me closer. We were both breathing faster, sitting next to each other.

  I hesitated, drawing out the moment, expecting him to tip over the edge. When he made his move, I would shut him down and stalk off as if I were offended, t
hen rinse and repeat. After a few hours of that, he’d be sick and tired of me.

  But in fact, I kept dwelling on the idea of his pushing me down and taking me from the top this time.…

  Biting my lip hard, I forced myself to remember why I was doing this. It wasn’t fair to him. I had to let him go.

  Time to go for broke. My hand slid down his belly to brush against his jeans, tight over his straining cock. He tensed in response. I undid the buttons, freeing him. Stroking him, I rocked against his body, watching his face.

  He bucked under my hand, so thick I almost couldn’t close my fist around him. He stretched and clenched at every stroke, every scrape of my fingernails, driving him higher, deeper.…

  His hand tightened around my arm, as a deep growl rose inside him. Still he said nothing, did nothing. How could I tease a man who devoured every drop I gave him so gratefully and never asked for more?

  “What do you want, Theo?”

  Instantly he replied, “Whatever you want.”

  My eyes opened wider. “Now there’s a blank check.”

  “Not really—you’d never cash it.”

  I hesitated, realizing it was true. I didn’t like taking anything from anyone. How could he understand me so well in only one day? I was supposed to be repelling him, not making him fall in love with me.

  I stroked him firmer, feeling him so hard in my hand. He was raging with desire, pouring into me through my palm. A kaleidoscope of colors—passion, pain, frustration, joy, fear, and sorrow; how could one man feel so much? His emotions overwhelmed me, carrying me along in spite of myself.

  The last sane voice in my head reminded me that if I wasn’t the most selfish bitch in the world, I would keep torturing him instead of pleasing him. I would drive him away.

  I let go of him and rolled back to rub my moistened nub. My intake of breath, my shifting body lying on his, made him draw in his breath. His abandoned cock jerked between us as I slid my fingers back and forth across myself.

  I tilted my head against the couch, letting the sensation fill me up. He was so warm and strong beneath me as he held me against himself.