Cowboy Bear's Fate (Cowboy Brother Bears Book 3)
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She nodded. “Thank you.”
“Now, before the temptation of my bed becomes too much, let’s go and find your brother, or my mom will ply him with more apple pie.” He turned to leave the room, but she caught his hand and pulled him back to her.
“You know what I’d really like to do first?”
“Nope.” But the hunger in his eyes said he had a pretty good idea of what he would like to do.
She stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. Jon gathered her to him, holding her close, and then his lips descended on hers, and his hunger overcame him. The kiss was both gentle and passionate. Monica clung to him as if he were the only thing she could be sure of. Her life was turned upside down. But Jon promised to be a constant as she tried to put it back together.
Monica knew she would have to find her biological father, that her inquiring mind would not let this go, and she refused to let it overshadow the rest of her life. Her mom and dad, the people who raised her, would always be her mom and dad. But there was someone else out there, a man who held part of her history in his hands, and she needed to dig until she uncovered it.
Her decision made, Monica relaxed into Jon, her hands stroking his back, and going lower, to caress his tight cowboy butt, toned from all the hours he spent in the saddle. He tensed, and pressed forward, and she became aware of his hardness, of just how much he wanted her. But this wasn’t the time or the place. When they were back at her apartment, they could spend some time getting to know each other.
But the temptation was great, as his tongue slid along her lower lip, and then his teeth grazed it, sending warm sensual signals through her body, to which her body responded. Her nipples became hardened buds, pressed against his hard chest, and an ache in her core grew in intensity, needing him to ease it. Jon was the cure for everything in her life right now. Both physically and mentally. But it scared her how quickly she had become dependent on him.
Monica pulled away. “We should go downstairs.”
“OK,” he said roughly. “Are you OK?”
“Yes, it’s all happening so fast.” Too fast. Monica was scared that finding out about her parents had pushed her to find an emotional crutch in Jon. She could not allow herself to fall so easily. Her heart had already been ripped in two. She could not risk it being broken further.
Yet as he took her hand in his, and led her down the stairs, she convinced herself of his truth. He would not let her down. He would always be there for her. She just needed some time before she could allow herself to believe.
And tomorrow they would go back to her apartment and there they could formulate a plan as to how they were going to track down her biological father.
Chapter Twelve – Jon
“So this is where you work?” he asked, strolling across the foyer of the museum. She had just finished work, and they had agreed to meet under the big T-rex that guarded the entrance. “I’m glad these things don’t walk the Earth anymore.”
They had made the trip to the city late yesterday afternoon, after Monica had spent time with her mom, who had told Monica all she knew about her biological father.
“Oh, I don’t know. Imagine having one of those as your fated mate?” Monica sighed wistfully. “No one would mess with me then.”
He rounded on her, pinning her close to the wall, while the T-rex loomed over them. “Who needs a T-rex when you have a cowboy?”
“I do love a man who is assertive,” she said, pressing her body against his. “Especially one who wears his cowboy boots and hat in the city.” She swiped his hat off his head and put it on, sliding out from between his arms and running a couple of steps away from him. “If you want it, you’ll have to come and get it.”
“I like a woman who is a challenge,” Jon said, and strode after her. He liked this Monica: she was so much more carefree since they’d arrived in the city.
“Is that right?” She stopped and waited for him at the bottom of the steps leading out on to the street. “How challenging?”
“There is some satisfaction from capturing your woman, throwing her over your saddle, and taking her home. Maybe for a good spanking.”
She burst out laughing. “You are joking?”
“I may be. Or I may not be.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “But if you run, I promise you I will track you down and lasso you.”
“And tie me to the bed?” she asked innocently.
“Whatever turns you on, darlin’.” Then he burst out laughing. “One day in the city and this is what happens to me.”
She took his hand and they walked side by side along the sidewalk. “And what has my cowboy being doing today?”
“Watching TV. And trying not to get lost.”
They had arrived in the city last night, and gone straight to Monica’s apartment where they had gone straight to bed. And slept. Monica had to be in to work early this morning, and so morning sex was off the menu too. Not that he planned on rushing her into anything; she had enough on her mind. He could wait for their relationship to become more intimate. They had the rest of their lives after all.
But a bear could dream…
“Hey, cowboy…” She snapped her fingers at him. “I thought I’d lost you for a moment.”
“I was jus’ starin’ at all the big buildings, and all the cars,” he said, putting on a slow drawl. “I ain’t seen nothin’ like it.”
She slapped him playfully across the chest. “Come on, here we are.”
They had walked down the street about a couple of hundred feet and were outside another large, ornate building that proclaimed itself the city library. “And why are we here?”
“Because, this is where I will find out about my biological father. We can access the archives, and I can cross-reference the name, Jasper Tinton. My mom gave me an estimation of his age… So if I am going to track him down, this is where I start.”
He stopped and pulled her to him. “And you are sure?”
“About finding my biological father? Yes, I am. Well, at least I want to know if he is alive or dead, if he has family. If he has children…” She shook her head. “That kind of blows my mind, that I might have brothers and sisters.”
“You have a brother, Ethan,” Jon reminded her. If he was being honest, Jon would admit he wasn’t sure this was going to end in a good way. Monica was excited about trying to find her father, but Jon was scared it was going to end up with her getting hurt. What if her father really did have a family of his own? How would he feel about this child he fathered over twenty years ago, turning up on the doorstep?
Jon felt like a traitor, but part of him hoped they couldn’t find Monica’s biological father, and she would move to Black Bear Ford, marry him, and be content with the life she had. But he had witnessed his brother, Samuel, trying to cope with something that niggled away in your head. He had watched Samuel become a different person after he found his mate and then lost her. Only when they were reunited did Samuel return to his normal self. So another part of him wanted Monica to find her father, so that she could put the whole thing behind them, one way or another.
Her face dropped, and he hated to chase away her happiness. “I know I have a brother. I know I have a mom and dad. But I also know I need to do this.”
“Then let’s do it.” He opened the door for her, and they walked inside the library, their footsteps echoing around the huge foyer, which was empty except for a few austere-looking statues. “You just need to tell me what to do. I already feel like a hillbilly.”
“I think that’s the point,” she said quietly. “I defy anyone to walk in here and not feel totally lacking.” She looked up at the signs. “The department we want is in the basement.”
“Spooky,” he said, and followed her to an elevator. She pressed the button and they waited, their conversation silenced by the oppressive building.
They got in the elevator, which took them down two floors to the basement. When it pinged open, they got out, confronted by
an elderly lady sitting at a reception desk. That was their first stop.
Jon stood back while Monica spoke to the lady quietly. He took the opportunity to look around them. There were shelves stacked with books, but also machines that he had seen on TV for viewing microfiche. He had a bad feeling that was how he was going to spending the rest of the afternoon.
“OK, I gave the name to Mrs. Carter, and she is going to find the relevant documents for us to look at. We start with the census records from the year of my birth. Mom said my dad was living here in the city, and worked on the trains occasionally. I can only hope he filled the census in.”
“If not?” Jon asked.
“We have to attack it a different way.”
He didn’t ask what that was. Maybe he’d changed his mind. He hoped they did find what they needed today. There were only so many hours a cowboy could spend underground.”
“I think you will find what you need in here. You know how to use the machines?” Mrs. Carter asked.
“Yes. Thank you.” She smiled and took the box over to the nearest machine. Jon was right, an afternoon of paperwork.
“It’s a good thing I am totally smitten with you, Monica Williams.”
She cast her eyes over the box in her hand. “Is that my name?”
He chuckled. “Yes. Or at least it soon will be. Once you are my wife. You’re lucky, you won’t change your name, even though you will technically change your name.”
“What a complicated life I lead.” She nodded. “Let’s do this.”
They worked their way through the census, flipping through the names until Monica exclaimed, “I’ve got it. Jasper Tinton.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s the right age. Right part of town. My mom said she went back to his place and it was over by the river. This tells me his address is Westside, it’s a small borough across the river.”
“Do we know if he still lives there?” Jon asked hopefully.
“Now that I have his name, we can check the later records.”
Like a dog with a bone, Monica went through the records. The next census showed Jasper Tinton living in the same address. And then nothing.
“Do you think he left town?” Jon asked.
“I don’t know.” They had spent a further hour going around and around in circles, getting no closer to discovering where he had moved to.
“Listen, it’s late, we need to eat,” Jon said, taking in her flushed face. “This isn’t going anywhere. We need to regroup, and think it through.”
“Why don’t we go over to Westside and try the address? Someone over there might know what happened to him. A forwarding address or something.”
“As long as you eat too,” Jon said as they waited for the elevator. “I mean it, I don’t want you making yourself sick over this.”
“There are some great restaurants over Westside, they line the river. We can go and check out the address, and then I’ll buy you dinner.” Jon opened his mouth to protest but she put her lips to his and stopped him talking. He wasn’t complaining; kissing Monica was fast becoming his number one favorite pastime. When she broke the kiss, she added, “There, it’s settled. Dinner is my treat.”
“I do like an assertive woman,” he said with a grin.
“Maybe I should tie you to the bed,” she said, taking his hand as they went out of the library, down onto the street, where she hailed a taxi.
“I would not complain.” Jon slid into the taxi next to her. He put his arm around her, and the cab pulled away. The vehicle threaded its way through the busy streets, weaving in and out of other cars and buses, while the tall buildings crowded in around them.
He longed for the open spaces of Black Bear Ford. Tonight, when they were back at Monica’s apartment, he was going to run the idea he had formulated in his head past her. No pressure, but he was going to find some way to tempt his lady to come live with him in the shadow of the mountains he called home.
Chapter Thirteen – Monica
Monica had always loved the hustle and bustle of the city. Yet she had also longed for something else. Something that Jon was offering her. That childhood longing of owning a pony came back to her as they drove past the park, where a couple of horse-drawn carriages waited to take tourists for a tour around the city.
“I always wanted a pony,” Monica told Jon.
He turned, shifting his body to look down at her. “Next time you come to the Homestead I’ll take you out for a ride,” he said. “Hell, if you move to Black Bear Ford I’ll buy you a whole herd of horses.”
“It means a lot to you. The Homestead, your family.” She sighed against him. “Going back to work today made me realize how much I enjoy it.”
“I’m not asking you to give anything up,” Jon said.
“Aren’t you?” Monica asked.
“I see it more as a sidestep.”
“A sidestep?” Monica asked. “The nearest museum to Black Bear Ford is still over an hour’s commute every day. And that is if they have an opening.”
“I have some thoughts on it,” Jon said. “But let’s talk about it later.”
When the cab slowed and then stopped, he took out his wallet to pay. “I’ve got it,” Monica said.
“You are buying dinner, I am paying for the ride.” He handed over a couple of notes. “Keep the change.”
“Thanks. Have a good evening. If you are looking for somewhere to eat, I can recommend Lionel’s—it’s tucked away down one of the alleys. Used to be a smugglers’ tavern. They serve great seafood,” the taxi driver said.
“Thanks,” Monica said. “We’ll give it a try.”
The taxi pulled off and they stood for a moment admiring the river. Boats of all sorts of shapes and sizes were moving along it. Some were pleasure cruisers, taking tourists for a scenic tour, others were luxury yachts, belonging to the rich or famous, and then there were the small boats belonging to ordinary people who just loved the water. Interspersed with these were cargo boats, taking their wares to the businesses that dotted the riverside.
“I haven’t been here for years,” Monica said. “Funny, now that I think about it, this is one place my mom hardly ever brought me as a child.”
“You think that’s because of your dad?” Jon asked.
“Yeah. Don’t you? I mean, if you have moved on with your life, the last thing you want to do is risk someone opening up the past.” Monica turned away from the water. “The address is this way.”
Jon followed, saying, “It’s ironic, really, that you spend so much time digging in the past, when your mom has tried to cover hers up.”
“You make it sound as if she was trying to hide her past,” Monica said, getting her bearings and then leading them down a street that took them away from the river. If her memory was correct, the address they wanted was down there. If not, she would have to resort to Google Maps.
“Hide, or forget?” Jon asked, poking a stick in what was becoming an open wound.
“Forget, I think. As much as she said my grandparents were happy to pretend I was Ken’s daughter, I think she did too.” She stopped in her tracks, and turned to look at him, horrified by what she was doing. “I’m breaking their hearts.”
“You have to do what you need to do,” Jon said.
“Do I need this?” she asked. “Do I need to know my history? Hell, it isn’t even my history, is it? It’s my mom’s history and sometimes you have to learn to stop digging.”
Jon looked across the street. “There it is. Decision time.”
Monica turned to look at the address, 34 Seaward Drive, the place where she might open the door to a life she didn’t want. This man could be anyone. He could be a drunk, a man who would be a parasite. Or he could be a man with a family who would pull her into a new world, filled with people who had the same blood as her. But what made a family, a family?
“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I did. Up until now. I wanted to knock on that door and find out who I am. What
the hidden half of me is made up of. But it’s all chromosomes and genes. And that isn’t what binds a family together.”
“I’ll do it,” Jon said.
“What?”
“Let me go and knock on the door and ask for your dad. If they don’t know him, or have no forwarding address, then we call it quits.” He put his hands on her upper arms, spreading heat throughout her body. “We trust in fate.”
She smiled. “Fate plays a big part in your life, doesn’t it?”
“Sure does.” He kissed her forehead. “Or we walk away from this now, and we never look back.”
She sighed and rubbed her eyes, scrubbing away tears that threatened. “Do it.”
Monica turned and walked away from him, and she heard his footsteps, cowboy boots on the sidewalk, and then the sound of his knocking. She kept walking as the sound of his voice reached her; she didn’t want to know what was said, she wanted to prolong the indecision as long as she could. This was tearing her in two, so goodness knows what it was doing to her parents.
Her dad, the man who had raised her, the man who had taken two children into his home, into his life, and provided for them. Not just material things, but love, and time, and all the good things a father offered a child, with no expectations of reward.
But if he deserved any reward, this was not it.
She turned around, regretting her decision to let Jon knock on the door. But it was too late; he was walking toward her, an unreadable expression on his face.
“What is it?” Monica asked.
“Let’s go and find somewhere to eat, and then we can talk.” He put his hand in his pocket and her brain was screaming out, wanting to ask if that was the new address of her father? The torment inside her was worse now. However, this ended, she was somehow broken.
They walked in silence, his arm around her shoulder. The only time they spoke was when they asked for directions to Lionel’s. The taxi driver was right; it was tucked away down a side street. But it was perfect for them and the somber mood that hung over them.