Expecting a Christmas Miracle

by Laura Iding

  He rolled his eyes. “Figures. Okay, I give up, then. The tree is up, and Simon helped me put your bed back together, so all we need to do is unpack your clothes. Do you want me to do that for you?”

  “Ah, no,” she said hastily. It was bad enough that her maternity clothes probably looked like giant tents, she didn’t need him going through stuff any more than he already had. “I can do it.”

  “But you’re supposed to be resting.”

  She took her feet off the table and struggled to her feet. “I’ve been doing nothing but resting.” And despite the fact she’d already been up to the bathroom several times, she needed to go again. She paused long enough to put a hand on Jadon’s arm. “Thanks, Jadon. I mean it. I appreciate how you went out of your way to bring everything over here.”

  “Hey, having you move in was my idea, remember?” he joked. But he placed his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. “Everything will be fine.”

  She wished, really wished that were true. If only he’d see her as a woman, and not as a burden to care for.

  Jadon couldn’t sleep. Across the hall he could hear Alyssa’s bed frame creaking as she tossed and turned, and figured she wasn’t getting much rest either. For long moments he stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to check on her. She’d claimed he was hovering too much, and he supposed she was right.

  He couldn’t help it. The very idea of Alyssa delivering the twins early sent him into panic mode.

  She’d be fine. The twins would be fine. He couldn’t control her labor. He had to lighten up a bit.

  He jerked upright when Alyssa cried out. In alarm, he leaped out of bed and dashed into her room.

  She was moaning, thrashing in the covers, obviously caught in the throes of a bad dream.

  “Alyssa,” he whispered, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. “Wake up. It’s only a dream.”

  He had to repeat himself several times before his low voice penetrated her subconscious.

  “What?” She blinked at him through the darkness. “Jadon?”

  “I think you were having a bad dream,” he told her, sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing only his boxers. “Are you okay?”

  She stared at him for several heartbeats and then slowly nodded. “It was a bad dream. Some guy was chasing me and being pregnant I couldn’t run fast enough to get away from him. For some reason he wanted to hurt my babies. When he grabbed me I thought I was going to die. Sorry if I woke you.”

  “You didn’t wake me. I wasn’t sleeping.” He was glad he’d come in. What an awful dream. “Do you want me to get you something?”

  “No.” She pushed up and propped herself on her elbows. “But now that I’m awake I need to go to the bathroom.”

  He chuckled and held out his hand. She took his hand, using his strength to lever herself out of bed.

  “Thanks,” she murmured, moving past him. Her hair brushed against his bare chest, leaving tiny shocks of awareness.

  Jadon took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck, knowing he should go back to his own room. Alyssa was fine. He wasn’t needed here anymore.

  But he waited until she returned. Her white nightgown left her sexy shoulders bare and he had to swallow hard not to show his reaction. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes.” Her nightgown rose a bit as she swung her legs back into bed. “The dream was far too real, though.”

  He didn’t want to leave, but forced himself to move toward the door. “Call me if you need me.”

  “I will. Uh, Jadon?”

  He swung back toward her. “Yes?”

  “You don’t think my dream is some sort of a premonition of something bad happening to the babies, do you?”

  “No, of course not.” He came back and sat next to her.

  She shivered. “It was just so real.”

  “Do you want me to stay with you for a while?” He didn’t want to leave her like this. “I’ll hold you until you can fall asleep.”

  She must have been more shaken than he’d thought because she nodded. “Maybe, just a few minutes, if you don’t mind.”

  All of his senses went on red alert. Lying beside her didn’t sound like much, but he was already half-aroused; he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to be so close to her.

  But his thoughts didn’t make it to his mouth. “Sure,” he heard himself say. “I don’t mind.”

  “I’m sorry to be such a problem,” Alyssa said as he slid beneath the covers on the opposite side of the bed. She lay on her side, facing away from him.

  “You’re not,” he promised, gently snuggling up behind her. He slid his arm under her pillow so he could hold her closer.

  “That feels good,” she murmured on a sigh, relaxing against him. “It’s hard to get comfortable. My back aches constantly.”

  With her bottom pressed firmly against his groin he could relate, since he was anything but comfortable. Yet he wasn’t about to complain.

  Not even when she slipped into sleep, leaving him rock-hard and wide-awake.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ALYSSA woke up with the vague sensation of being nestled in a cocoon. Safe and warm. A sleepy smile curved her mouth. Jadon had stayed with her all night and the nightmare hadn’t returned.

  How sweet was that?

  She enjoyed listening to Jadon’s deep, even breaths as he slept beside her. Soon, though, she became aware of his body pressed against her. And she grew warm. Extremely warm. Hot. Very hot.

  Aroused.

  During the night, the lower edge of her nightgown had crept up around her waist. Jadon’s erection pressed urgently against her bottom and his hand rested dangerously close to her breast.

  Her breasts, especially her nipples, were hypersensitive. When his hand moved, cupping her breast, she sucked in a quick breath. His fingers lightly brushed the tip of her nipple and instantly her body grew ready. Her breath came in short gasps as she became fully awake. Moisture gathered deep between her thighs and she instinctively arched against him, pressing her bottom more fully against the hard ridge of his desire, wanting him to touch her. Everywhere.

  Maybe the reason she yearned for this intimacy with Jadon was because she was pregnant and hadn’t felt very attractive these past few months. Despite the twins growing in her abdomen, she was more than a mother-to-be.

  She was a woman. And she hadn’t been with a man in months. Since the last time she’d been with Jadon.

  Obviously meeting men when you were pregnant wasn’t easy, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because she hadn’t wanted any other man but Jadon. How could she have convinced herself it was nothing more than an affair?

  He groaned, a low raspy sound near her ear as he caressed her breast again. She couldn’t see his face to know if he was awake. Or still half-asleep.

  She wasn’t sure she cared, except for the possibility that if he woke up and realized what he was doing, he might pull away again, like he had after their kiss. And if he did that, she’d probably scream with frustration.

  His knee pressed between her legs and she eagerly parted her thighs, opening herself to him. His hand left her breast, lightly caressed her round belly and then moved lower still, until he reached the juncture of her thighs. She held her breath with anticipation as he moved her silky panties out of the way and touched her where she needed him the most.

  With his fingers caressing her from the front and his hard erection behind her, Alyssa was trapped in pleasure and didn’t want to move. Yet at the same time she ached with the need to have him inside her.

  “Please,” she whispered, subtly lifting her hips to press against him again.

  “Are you sure?” he murmured near her ear, before trailing a string of heated kisses along the side of her neck.

  Was he kidding? He was finally treating her like a woman he was attracted to and he thought she had doubts?

  “Yes. I’m sure.” She pressed urgently against him.

  “Easy now,” he said, kissing her again and g
ently stroking her cleft, sending shock waves of pleasure through her body. “Relax. Let me do all the work.”

  Fine with her if he wanted to do all the work, but could he get on with it? Relaxing when you were aroused was impossible. And he was treating her like she was fragile spun glass instead of a woman who knew exactly what she wanted. She didn’t want him to hold back. Reaching around, she tried to pull him closer. She was more than ready. Like ready right now.

  He brought her close to the edge of an orgasm before he managed to get rid of her panties and push his boxers out of the way. Her body offered no resistance as he slid deep. The feeling of his thickness inside her, skin against skin, without the barrier of protection, was exquisite.

  “Yes. Finally,” she gasped.

  He pressed another kiss below her ear and pulled her over so that she was lying more fully on top of him. This position not only gave him more access to thrust inside her but also freed up his other hand to caress her breasts.

  The sensation was dizzying.

  “Jadon,” she moaned, wanting the pleasure to last forever yet striving for more.

  “Alyssa, tell me if I hurt you,” he said between careful thrusts.

  “You’re not.” He was holding back again and that wasn’t what she wanted. Then his fingers found the super-sensitive spot between her legs and she gasped, arching her back.

  Her climax hit hard and she cried out with pleasure as Jadon crested his pinnacle seconds later. For long moments, the only audible sound in the room was their heavy breathing.

  Jadon slid her over to the side, yet held her close. She was happy they’d made love but wished Jadon could have let himself go, the way he once had.

  “Alyssa, are you all right? I didn’t hurt you or the babies, did I?”

  Exasperated, she swiveled her head around to look at him. “Why would you have hurt me? Do you think I’m the only pregnant woman in the world to have sex?”

  He propped his head up on his elbow, gazing down at her, a frown puckering his brow. “No, but you were having contractions yesterday. I should have used more restraint.”

  His gaze was so serious, she knew he was really bothered by the idea that he might have caused some harm. Yet he acted as if he wished they hadn’t made love. “Are you always going to treat me like I’m fragile?”

  He was taken aback by her sharp tone. “You almost died. Every time I think of you delivering the babies early, my gut gets tied up in knots.”

  Surprised by his revelation, she arched a brow. Jadon didn’t talk about his feelings, ever. “I’m fine. I wish things could go back to the way they were before.”

  “You can’t go back. You’re a mother now.”

  So she wasn’t a woman? “And you’re a father.”

  “I know.” His expression turned grim. “That wasn’t exactly part of my plan.”

  She tried not to take offense at his honesty. “Is that the real reason you left?”

  “No.” Jadon pulled away, reaching for his boxers. Apparently his brief display of emotion was over. “I didn’t know you were pregnant.”

  “Would it have mattered?”

  He paused, before continuing to pull his boxers on. “Of course it would have mattered. I would have stayed in touch with you while I was gone.”

  He still would have left. Even now, he was putting distance between them. They’d made love, but nothing had really changed. He was still holding her at arm’s length, keeping himself emotionally apart.

  And she wasn’t satisfied with that. Not anymore.

  “Why don’t you take a shower? I’ll make breakfast.”

  “Don’t wait on me.” She didn’t hide her annoyance. “I’m perfectly capable of making my own breakfast.”

  He hardly glanced at her when she slid from the bed to find her clothes. “I’m cooking anyway, so it’s no bother.”

  He had an answer for everything. Discouraged, Alyssa showered, using the hot water to wash away her disappointment. Afterward, she pulled out the first maternity outfit she found. It didn’t matter what she wore. Jadon wouldn’t notice anyway.

  Stop it, she admonished herself. So maybe she and Jadon weren’t a happy couple. Too bad. He was the father of her babies and she just had to find a way to deal with it.

  She walked to the kitchen, where Jadon had made steamy bowls of oatmeal, topped with cinnamon, brown sugar and raisins. As she sat down, a contraction tightened her abdomen.

  Hard.

  Worse than she’d experienced the day before.

  She mentally ticked off the seconds until the contraction eased, noting that it lasted for over a minute.

  Hmm. Not good. She continued eating her breakfast without saying anything to Jadon. He’d only start worrying again. And she wasn’t in the mood to be coddled.

  But clearly she’d have to give Kim a call. Maybe she’d be lucky and the contractions would stop.

  Jadon watched Alyssa eating her oatmeal and mentally talked himself out of taking her back to bed for an encore.

  Did she have any idea how much he wanted her? She looked so beautiful, with her dark hair falling in waves around her shoulders, the bright pink long-sleeved maternity top emphasizing the plumpness of her breasts and her gently curved stomach.

  Just looking at her made him sweat. He shouldn’t have stayed the night in her bed, but he couldn’t find the energy for regrets. Not when their morning had started off so great.

  He’d been half-asleep that morning when she’d moved against him, silently urging him to touch her. At some level he’d known exactly what he was doing, yet he hadn’t been able to make himself stop.

  Especially when Alyssa had clearly been egging him on.

  But then they’d argued and the time of closeness had gone. He didn’t understand what she wanted from him. No, he hadn’t planned on being a father, but he was here with her now, wasn’t he? Didn’t that count for something?

  They couldn’t go back. They had to figure out how to move forward. And no matter what, he couldn’t give her the happy, close-knit family she wanted. His fault, not hers.

  Alyssa rose from her seat at the table, moving stiffly. “Are you all right?” he asked, sure he had hurt her.

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m going to sit on the sofa. Do you mind?”

  “Not at all.” He needed to clean up the kitchen and take a shower, too. “What do you want to do today? Christmas shopping?”

  Her annoyance faded and her eyes brightened. “Yes. I’d like to pick up something for Kylie and Seth, and a special present for Ben.”

  “Good. Let me clean up and shower first.”

  On his way to the bathroom he heard his cell phone ringing. So he turned back, searching through his pile of dirty laundry, another task he’d have to tackle soon, for the device.

  His mother’s number was on the display screen. Dread squeezed his intestines and twisted, hard. God, no. Not again. Wishing he could ignore the call, he slowly opened the phone and lifted it to his ear. “Hi, Mom. What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she swiftly reassured him. “How are you?”

  He frowned, not understanding. “Nothing is wrong? You’re sure? Jack is doing okay?”

  “Yes, actually Jack seems to be doing better. This new doctor has started a whole new medication regimen and so far Jack is going along with it. He likes the new doctor anyway.”

  The new doctor he’d pulled strings for his brother to see was a female, which might explain why Jack liked her but he didn’t care since Dr. Elizabeth Cranberg was also a renowned expert in treating patients like Jack.

  “Good. I’m glad.” He knew Jack probably had a long way to go but maybe this was a turning point for his brother. Maybe there was a chance for Jack to lead a relatively normal life.

  Foolish hope swelled in his chest. Maybe someday he’d have a normal life, too. “Will you keep me informed on how things go?”

  “Of course.” His mother didn’t sound tired and exhausted like she had before. Inste
ad, it seemed like things were cautiously optimistic with Jack. “Anyway, I called because I’d like to make some plans for the holiday. Do you know when you might be coming home to visit?”

  Oh, boy, he’d forgotten his mother’s request to have the whole family together for Christmas. Including his father, whom he hadn’t seen in years. The stress of Jack’s problems had ruined his parents’ marriage and his father’s subsequent second marriage, too. He needed to tell his parents about Alyssa and the babies, but if he did that, they’d expect her to come along.

  He sank down on the edge of his bed, trying to figure out the best way to handle things. He didn’t want Alyssa exposed to his problems. She hadn’t signed on to be Jack’s caretaker, that was his role. He didn’t want her involved.

  “I have to work Christmas,” he reminded her. “I’ll see if I can get a couple of consecutive days off, all right?”

  “Okay.” He could hear the disappointment in his mother’s voice. “Are you sure you can’t get off for Christmas?”

  “I was off work for over four months,” he reminded her. “At this point, I’m not in a position to ask for favors.”

  “I understand,” she said hastily, knowing very well why he’d needed to take that time off in the first place. Things had been bad. Jack had gotten completely out of control. “We can celebrate whichever days work best for you.”

  “All right, I’ll be in touch.”

  “Bye, Jadon. I love you.”

  Guilt swelled his throat. “I love you, too, Mom.”

  After he hung up the phone, Jadon realized he couldn’t keep the truth about his twin brother a secret from Alyssa for much longer. Alyssa needed to know about Jack, so she’d understand when he had to leave again. And why he couldn’t give her what she needed. What she deserved.

  He needed to explain everything.

  From the very beginning.

  Alyssa sat on the sofa, taking slow, deep breaths while waiting for Kim to return her call. She hoped Kim would call while Jadon was still in the shower, but already she could hear him leaving the bathroom and making his way to his bedroom.