by Laura Iding
The contractions hadn’t eased very much. They hadn’t gotten any worse, but they certainly hadn’t gotten any better either.
She nibbled on her lower lip, wondering what to do. She didn’t want to rush to the hospital, yet the medication to prevent contractions didn’t seem to be working very well either.
If she didn’t hear from Kim in a few hours, she’d go in. Better to be safe than sorry.
“So, have you thought about where you’d like to go Christmas shopping?” Jadon asked, striding into the living room.
“Uh, actually, I’m feeling a bit tired. Do you think it’s okay if we do a little online shopping instead of going out?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “We can, but are you sure? I thought you’d be ready for a change in scenery.” He glanced toward the window. “It’s not snowing.”
“It’s not the weather. I’ve had a couple of contractions,” she admitted, knowing he was going to ask in a minute anyway. “And, yes, I’ve already called Kim Rayborn but she’s busy with a delivery so I left a message for her to call me back.”
“Dammit,” Jadon muttered. “We shouldn’t have made love.”
“You don’t know for sure sex caused the contractions.” She removed her feet from the top of the coffee table and struggled to stand.
“Where are you going?” Jadon asked in alarm, jumping over to her. His strong hands lifted her from the soft sofa cushions without difficulty. “Stay put. I’ll get my laptop computer if you want to shop online.”
She sighed. “I’m going to the bathroom. You can’t help me with that.”
“Oh. Okay.” His expression was sheepish. “I’ll turn on the computer while you’re gone.”
“All right.” She took a few steps but then stopped as another contraction hit. Moisture gushed down between her thighs and for a horrified moment she thought she’d lost control of her bladder. But looking down, she realized there was a lot of fluid. Clear fluid. Amniotic fluid.
“Um, Jadon? You’d better forget about the computer. I think my waters just broke.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
ALYSSA tried not to show her panic as one of her ED coworkers, Susan, wheeled her upstairs to the third-floor labor and delivery area.
Kim crossed over to greet her as she rolled in. “Alyssa, how are you? I just picked up your message and suddenly you’re here. What happened? Have your contractions gotten worse?”
“My waters broke.” She kept a hand on her stomach, forcing a smile for Jadon’s sake. “And yes, the contractions have gotten worse. Not only are they coming more frequently and regularly at seven minutes apart, but they’re lasting longer, too.”
“Well, it’s clear those twins are not going to wait any longer to be born,” Kim said. “Looks like we’ll be getting you ready for delivery.”
“They’re still pretty early, aren’t they?” Jadon asked, concern evident in his tone.
Kim nodded. “A bit. But they’re thirty-one weeks along now, which is one more week’s worth of growing. I’m sure everything will be just fine.”
A week’s worth of growing didn’t sound like very much. And she wished more than anything she could believe everything would be fine. Reality set in as another contraction tightened her abdomen.
“Neenah?” A nurse hurried over when Kim called, a young woman Alyssa didn’t recognize. “Let’s get Alyssa settled into room six. I’d like to get her twins hooked up to the fetal monitors to see how they’re doing.”
“Of course,” Neenah said, taking over behind the wheelchair. “Alyssa? My name is Neenah Burnes and I’ll be your nurse for today.”
Alyssa nodded, but her mind was struggling to come to grips with what was happening. She was in labor. She was going to deliver her babies. Twins. Jiminy Cricket, how on earth was she going to manage? What if she couldn’t handle the pressure of raising a baby? Two babies? Her mother had struggled with the demands of single parenthood.
At least Jadon was here, so she wasn’t nearly as alone as her mother had been. And even though she wanted more from him at the moment, she’d take what she could get.
Neenah helped her move from the wheelchair onto the bed, shooing Jadon out so she could change into a hospital gown. He’d been suspiciously quiet and Alyssa couldn’t help wondering if he regretted being here with her. She suspected the prospect of fatherhood scared him.
Would he stay with her during the delivery? Or should she call Kylie to be her coach?
When she was settled in bed, the fetal heart monitors in place, she took several deep breaths, trying to relax.
Stress was not good. Especially not now.
“Jadon?” she called.
“I’m here.” He came in, and took her hand in his. They’d given him scrubs to wear. “What’s wrong? Another contraction?”
“Yes.” They were coming even more frequently now. “Kylie was supposed to be my labor coach. But I’d rather have you. If you don’t mind.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “I don’t mind. They’re my babies, too.”
“I know.” She sucked in a harsh breath as the contraction crested, sending shock waves of pain through her whole body. “Oh, boy, that was a strong one,” she whispered as it finally eased.
Jadon cradled her hand in both of his. “It’s okay, Alyssa. I’m here. I’ll help you through this.”
He wasn’t going to leave, or call Kylie. He was going to stay.
“I need to do a quick exam, to see how far along you are,” Kim said, coming into the room dressed in fresh scrubs and pulling on a pair of gloves.
Alyssa couldn’t help it, she tightened her grip on Jadon’s hand, full of apprehensive fear. He pulled up a chair with his foot and sat right next to her bed, staying close.
Kim lifted the sheet and Alyssa’s hospital gown and then gently eased her thighs open. “Good heavens, you’re already five centimeters dilated. I suspect these babies are going to be born very quickly.”
“Good.” Another contraction tightened her abdomen and she glanced over at Jadon. “Don’t leave me,” she begged through clenched teeth.
Not just for now, but forever. She didn’t want Jadon to leave her alone ever again, but as the contraction grew tighter and tighter, she didn’t have a chance to explain.
“I won’t,” Jadon promised.
She wanted nothing more than to believe him.
Watching Alyssa suffer through one contraction after another was enough to make him swear off sex forever. Sweat beaded on his forehead, trickling in rivulets down his back, and he wasn’t even the one doing all the work.
This was all his fault, for not having enough self-control to protect her from becoming pregnant in the first place all those months ago. And, again, for allowing his desire to overcome his common sense that morning.
He was about to become a father.
Panic tightened his throat. Juggling his responsibilities with Jack had been hard enough before, but the twins’ impending birth just made it that much more complicated.
He’d promised Alyssa he’d stay, and he’d sensed she meant more than just during the delivery. But what if Jack needed him again? He couldn’t abandon his mother. If Jack needed him, he’d be forced to leave.
He turned his attention to Alyssa, and within moments the entire labor room had been converted into a delivery suite, complete with a neonatal team on standby in case the twins needed them.
He was a doctor, had seen births a couple of times before, but nothing could have prepared him for the miracle of watching his children being born.
“Come on, Alyssa, one more big push,” Kim was saying. “You’re almost there. The first baby is crowning.”
Tears streaked Alyssa’s cheeks but she didn’t sob or cry out. She simply gritted her teeth and pushed, nearly crushing all the bones in his hand in the process.
“Wonderful! Perfect. Congratulations, you have a beautiful daughter.”
Jadon’s grin almost split his face. “Can you see her, Lys? She’
s absolutely beautiful.”
Alyssa nodded. “Is she okay? How big do you think she is?”
“We’ll get her weighed and measured in a jiffy,” Kim promised, handing the infant over to Renee, one of the neonatal ICU nurses who was part of the resuscitation team. She took the baby to the first isolette and began the exam with the help of the neonatologist.
Jadon knew they needed to do an Apgar assessment on the baby, along with placing the proper identification bracelets, so he didn’t leave Alyssa’s side, even though he was anxious to meet his daughter.
He was a father. He could barely wrap his mind around the concept. More responsibility. Double the responsibility.
“Oh, no, another contraction,” Alyssa whimpered.
“This might be the placenta,” Kim warned. “I know it’s tough, Alyssa, but hang in there. You’re halfway there.”
“Only halfway,” she groaned, panting through another contraction. “Doesn’t seem fair.”
Jadon leaned down to press his lips to her forehead. He shared her pain. “I know. I wish I could do this for you.”
“You and me both,” she said with a groan.
“Knight baby girl number one weighs in at three pounds, nine ounces,” Renee announced for everyone to hear. “And she’s seventeen and a half inches long.”
Alyssa smiled. “Three pounds nine ounces is pretty good, right? Is she breathing on her own?”
“Yes, so far she’s breathing fine. Don’t worry,” Kim told her. “Your job is to deliver this next baby.”
As if on cue, another contraction caused her to grab Jadon’s hand again. Her determined gaze met his. “I think baby number two is on his or her way.”
Jadon wasn’t sure what to expect. He was an identical twin, but women Alyssa’s age were prone to fraternal twins. Either way, he didn’t care. He was still in awe about having a daughter. “Slow, easy breaths,” he instructed. “Don’t think about the pain, think about the baby.”
The second birth went faster and within another minute Alyssa was pushing again.
“Congrats, you have another beautiful daughter,” Kim announced with a laugh. “Beautiful twin girls.”
The second baby girl was passed on to the neonatal team as well and from where he stood, Jadon could tell the second baby was slightly smaller than the first one. They didn’t look identical, but they were pretty small so it was difficult to tell. Although a little more than three and a half pounds was not a bad size for a preemie.
And if both babies could breathe without any help from a mask or a ventilator, that was a minor miracle in itself.
“You did a great job,” Jadon said, kissing Alyssa lightly on the mouth. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” This time she smiled through her tears. “I can’t believe we have daughters.”
“Beautiful twin daughters,” Kim corrected with a smile. “Have you thought of names yet?”
Alyssa nodded. “I’ve chosen Grace Aubrey for the older baby and Gretchen Louise for the younger one.” Her gaze darted to his. “I, uh, hope you don’t mind.”
What could he say? It wasn’t as if they’d been together these past few months, planning for this day. Alyssa had been on her own. Of course she’d picked names for the babies.
“Grace and Gretchen are beautiful names.” A part of him wished their last names would be listed as his, rather than Alyssa’s last name of Knight, but that wasn’t meant to be.
“My grandmother’s name was Grace and my mom’s name was Louise, so I wanted to include both their names in their memory if the babies were girls,” she explained, as if expecting some sort of argument.
“Alyssa, the names are fine,” he reassured her. “I love them, don’t worry.”
She nodded and relaxed. “When can we hold them?” she asked Kim. “I’m anxious to see my babies.”
“Just a few more minutes and the neonatal team should be finished with them.” Kim began cleaning up the delivery area. “One good thing about having small babies is that you didn’t need an episiotomy and there are no vaginal tears either. You should heal up very nicely.”
“One bright spot as I’m trying to breast-feed two babies,” Alyssa said with a dry laugh. But then she caught the doctor’s hand, giving it a grateful squeeze. “Thanks, Kim. For everything.”
“My pleasure.” Kim glanced at Jadon, including him as well. “Congrats to both of you.”
“Knight baby girl number two is three pounds, three ounces, and is seventeen and a quarter inches long,” Renee announced. “She’s breathing on her own, too.”
Three-three wasn’t bad at all. Jadon grinned as the tight knot in his stomach relaxed a bit. “Gretchen Louise. The younger, smaller baby is Gretchen.”
“And the older one is Grace Aubrey,” Alyssa chimed in. “Can we hold them now?”
“You sure can. Here’s Grace for you, Mom. And Gretchen for you, Dad.” Renee and another nurse handed each of them a tightly wrapped pink bundle. “We don’t want to keep them out of the isolettes too long. We still need to keep a close eye on them, but bonding is important, too.”
Jadon gazed at Gretchen’s small, perfect face, her tiny lips, her button nose and her tiny, tiny eyelashes with an overwhelming sense of awe.
He glanced at Alyssa and in that moment they shared a special intimacy, a bond that shook him to the soles of his feet.
Together, they’d created these baby girls.
Looking at Alyssa holding Grace and the way Gretchen slept so peacefully in his arms, he realized what he’d told her earlier was true. There was no turning back. He was a father now.
This new, precious family was a part of his future. His and Alyssa’s future.
If only he knew how in the world he was going to make it work.
Alyssa rested for a few hours after the birth as the process had totally worn her out, but when she awoke she was alone in her room. She missed her babies. On the bedside table were two photographs, so she picked them up to gaze at the small pictures of Grace and Gretchen that the neonatal resuscitation team had given her.
The babies were small, but doing amazingly well. Kim had explained that the stress of her labor over the past few days had helped the babies develop enough surfactant in their lungs to enable them to breathe on their own.
At least, so far they were breathing on their own. The girls might need some help from a CPAP machine, which wasn’t as invasive as a breathing tube and ventilator, if they didn’t maintain regular breathing patterns, keeping an acceptable level of oxygen in the blood.
Renee had explained the concerns about intermittent apnea, a common phenomenon with preemies. They could breathe on their own, but it was almost as if they exerted so much energy to do the work they got tired out and stopped breathing for a few seconds.
So the baby girls would need to be on the heart and apnea monitors for a while, not to mention kept warm since their tiny brains weren’t fully developed yet to keep their temperatures stable. Hence the pictures, since Alyssa couldn’t have the babies housed in her room.
She was relieved they were doing so well.
Yet she didn’t want to look at pictures, she wanted to hold her daughters, touch them. Cuddle them.
Was Jadon in the neonatal nursery with them now? She was fairly certain he was. She bit her lip, anxiety creeping back into her chest. He’d been so wonderful through all this, taken on the role of being her birthing coach without making her feel guilty.
Her baby girls were seven weeks early. What would she do once they were big enough to come home? She knew she shouldn’t just plan on going back to Jadon’s house but if she didn’t, how would she manage to nurse them both while still managing to get some rest?
Was Jadon’s invitation to stay with him still open? She didn’t want her babies to suffer in any way. What if after a few weeks of no sleep he changed his mind?
Stop looking for trouble, she warned herself. Take it slowly, one day at a time, and the future would sort itself out when it wa
s ready.
Sage advice. Now, if only she could heed it.
She swung her legs out of the bed and stood, feeling only a slight twinge of discomfort after her delivery. Reaching for a robe, she put it on, then walked out into the hallway to get directions to the neonatal intensive care unit.
“Right here,” Amanda, a helpful nurse, informed her. “We actually don’t call them neonatal ICUs any more, we call it a level-three nursery. But it’s right next to the level-two and level-one nurseries. As your babies progress, they’ll move down to the less acute area.”
“Good to know,” Alyssa admitted. Neonatal was not her area of expertise.
In the level-three nursery, most of the babies lying in their isolettes looked extremely tiny. She was somewhat relieved to realize her daughters were the largest babies in the group.
She stood in front of their isolettes, surprised to note Jadon wasn’t there. One nurse approached with a warm smile.
“Hi, my name is Carla. I’m the second-shift nurse taking care of Grace and Gretchen.”
“Hello, I’m Alyssa, the proud mother of these two. Oh, look, Gretch is waking up,” she said, leaning over when Gretchen began to stir.
“She is waking up. It’s about time as she’s been sleeping quite a bit. What a wonderful early Christmas present you have, hmm?”
Alyssa smiled weakly. “A better Christmas present would be to have them home with me.”
“True, but if they grow nicely and don’t run into trouble, that is a distinct possibility. Now, would you like to hold them? Both at once or one at a time?”
“Maybe just Gretchen, since she’s awake.” Alyssa figured she’d need to learn how to manage both babies at the same time eventually, but for now she thought easing into the process of learning about her daughters might be the better approach.
“Okay. Both girls have apnea monitors on, so we can watch their heart rates and breathing. I’ll fetch a warm blanket.” Carla hurried off, returning with a warm fuzzy pink blanket.
She opened the isolette and competently lifted Gretchen with one hand, taking care not to disturb the wires connecting the patches to the infant’s chest or the tiny IV as she slid the warm blanket underneath with the other hand. After tucking her cozily inside, she gently lifted Gretchen out and set the bundle in the crook of Alyssa’s arm. “Here you go.”
