Change(s) in altitude.
Pronounced change(s) in temperature.
I’d only said it out loud once, to Jamie. She’d looked at me like I was crazy, and asked me not to say it again. So, of course, I wasn’t saying it again. But that didn’t mean I could get it out of my head as we waited, and waited, and waited for the doctor to come back out of Nick’s room, and give us a prognosis.
“My son is taking care of your dog,” Jamie said, out of nowhere.
My head sprung up from staring at my screen, to look at her. The memory of the first time I’d seen her – gorgeous as hell, looking nothing like Nick (I found out later that Jamie had a different, Caucasian father, which explained it), standing at his door with a pan of peach cobbler. It was ridiculous now, thinking about how bothered I’d been. But sitting here now, in this hospital, it was clear to me that even back then, my feelings for Nick had run deep – way deeper than they had any business at the time.
Emotions don’t use calendars, though.
“Puppy?” I asked, finally responding after her eyebrow had started creeping up, probably wondering if I was crazy.
She nodded. “Yeah. Payton loves that dog, by the way. It’s the only reason he was over at Nick’s so early, before school. I won’t let him have one, since he’ll be off to college in another year. So... I guess, Puppy being there is how Nick was able to get help. It could have taken into the afternoon, the next day, for one of us to go over there.”
“Yeah,” I said, swallowing hard at the thought of Nick being alone, in paralyzing pain. “Can you tell me what happened? Because I talked to Nick last night, and he didn’t mention—”
“He wouldn’t have,” Jamie answered before I could even finish. She let out an exasperated sigh. “Crises... they have some buildup, but mostly it’s pretty sudden. He was probably having some pain the last few days, just not enough that he felt like it was worth it to tell anybody. And then this morning... much worse. Much, much worse. To God be the glory, Nick gave Payton a key, because his place is so close to his school. I keep telling him, Nick has a girlfriend now, and you’re going to walk in on something you can’t un-see,” she laughed. “But... this time, his lack of respect for his uncle’s space worked out. He found Nick on the floor.”
“Oh my God.”
“Don’t freak out.” Jamie reached over the empty chair between us, grabbing my hand. “This isn’t... normal. I mean, it is, for the disease, but it isn’t for him. The hospital is something you’ll need to get used to, but it’s only ever been this bad maybe once or twice in his life. That’s my little brother in there – I know it’s scary that he’s not okay. I’d understand if you wanted to get up and run out of here and not look back. But I hope you don’t, because Nick is head over heels for you. Not the words he used, but I can tell. You make him happy.”
“He makes me happy.”
Jamie squeezed my hand, and started to say something, but the door to Nick’s room swung open, and the doctor stepped out. “Nick Davison’s family?” he asked, even though I’m sure he already knew that, from the way Jamie and I sprung from our seats to approach him.
I caught myself though, as Jamie announced herself as Nick’s sister. It was super presumptuous of me to think I had first-hand information privileges, and I started to go back to my seat, but Jamie grabbed my arm, hauling me against her side. “And this is his fiancée. How is he?”
“He’s stable. We ruled out a stroke—”
“Stroke?!” I blurted, before I could catch myself. “There was concern about a stroke?!”
“It’s always a concern, with patients with SCD. There’s a possibility of genetic predisposition, and since Nick’s father passed of such complications, we have to make sure. Nick is very lucky to have never had one, and that doesn’t seem to the changing now. He’s stable, and sleeping comfortably, with his pain under control. I’m waiting on a go-ahead from the blood bank, but I’d like to give him a transfusion, for a boost to get him back on the right track.”
Jamie frowned. “Waiting on a go-ahead? What does that mean?”
“Nationwide blood shortage, ma’am. Not enough people donating. We have to keep enough on hand for emergency procedures, and then there’s a hierarchy. Nick doesn’t need this transfusion at this point, so—”
“What if I donated directly?” I asked, and both sets of eyes locked on me. “I got tested, for sickle cell trait, when Nick and I first started dating. When he was looking at my results, he noticed we’re the same blood type. If I donate to him directly, is that okay? Is that possible?”
The doctor nodded. “Yes, it’s absolutely possible. I’ll get someone up here to get you tested, and we’ll go from there. Okay?”
“Okay.”
The doctor shook my hand, and then hurried off to the nurse’s station. As soon as he was gone, Jamie turned to me, eyes wide.
“Noah... you know you don’t have to do this, right? I mean, please don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, but—”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. As much blood as I donated for free pizza in college, certainly I can do this for Nick, right?”
I could tell Jamie was trying to hold it together as she smiled, then threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you,” she said, squeezing tight before she released me. “Do you want to go in and sit with him, now that the doctor is done?”
“I... yes. Is that okay?”
Jamie nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been in there all morning, just stepping out to make phone calls, or let the staff do what they need to do. You can go in. Just don’t wake him, let him wake up on his own.”
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. My husband is out of town, so I can’t send him to check on his son, and make sure he’s fed. I didn’t want to leave Nick here by himself though.”
“I’ll stay,” I volunteered, even though it was already established. “I’ll wait with him, until you get back.”
Jamie escorted me into Nick’s room and then left, rushing out to answer a call from Payton. I’d meant to ask if Nick’s sleeping was induced – either purposely, or because of the painkillers they’d given him, but it didn’t matter. I would have been as quiet as I possibly could anyway.
Even knowing he was sick, I’d never, ever seen Nick as weak – something that for him, was by design. Seeing him in a hospital bed challenged that. He’d worked out a careful exercise plan, and had the tall, thick body to show for it. In that bed though, hooked to IVs, and monitors... Nick did everything to take care of himself, and manage his illness. For his body to betray him like this...
I pushed out a sigh, and then moved a chair right up beside the bed and sat down. At the very least, at least he looked peaceful, and I knew there was no pain torturing him right now. In the empty space beside him on the bed, I rested my arms, and then laid my head on top of them.
Just looking.
The first time I’d ever seen Nick’s handsome face flashed clear in my mind – in that airport, obviously frustrated about being bumped into, about spilling his coffee, but then... intrigued.
By me.
Had he known then?
I certainly hadn’t imagined, three months ago when he kissed me, that I would end up sitting in a hospital room beside him, carrying feelings so deep it made me physically hurt to see him like this.
But here I was.
I closed my eyes as the emotional toll of the morning, and the physical fatigue of the rushed flight finally hit me. My intention was to rest them for a moment, but my eyelids were so heavy I kept them lowered.
It only took a few moments for the steady beep of the monitors to lull me to sleep.
#
Skin to skin contact pulled me from my sleep.
My eyes popped open, and Nick’s face – clearly fatigued – was the first thing that met my gaze. He had his hand to my cheek, thumb stroking back and forth as he looked at me.
“Hey,” I said, grabbing his hand as I sat up, and then st
ood up, trying to get closer to him. A glance at the clock told me two hours had passed – way longer than the quick nap I’d intended. Out the window, the sun was starting to set.
It took a little work, but he managed to pull a smile to his face. “Hey yourself.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked, keeping my touch light as I moved my fingers up to his hair.
He shook his head. “You don’t want an answer to that, gorgeous. What are you doing here anyway? I wasn’t expecting you for like... two more days.”
“Jamie called me. She... thought you might want me here.”
“Jamie was right. Your face was definitely a welcome sight when I opened my eyes.”
Before I could respond to that, the door swung open, and Nick’s doctor came back in, with a nurse in tow. When he saw me standing by Nick’s bed, he smiled.
“Good, you didn’t change your mind about your offer. Nurse Russell is going to get some information and some samples from you, so we can get this started.”
“What offer?” Nick asked, and the doctor’s grin widened.
“Well, Mr. Davison, we want to try to give you a blood transfusion to get you feeling better, and your fiancée has offered to donate to our efforts.”
When I looked at Nick, his eyes were wide. “My wha—I mean, she did?”
“Yes sir. You’ve got a good woman here.”
Nick took my hand, eyes sparkling with amusement as he lifted it to his lips for a kiss. “I do, don’t I? Good thing I locked her down.”
I wrinkled my nose at him, and then went with the nurse to answer a million and five questions before she finally took my blood. While she did it, she explained that a typical transfusion required anywhere from six to eight units of blood, which confused me, since I would only – could only – give one.
“Oh sweetie, we got approval for the rest. Your donation helps offset how much we have to pull from the bank. Easier to get approved for five units than six.”
I shook my head about the hospital politics I didn’t understand, and just thanked God that Nick would be getting what he needed.
By the time she was done with me, Jamie had returned. After finding out I hadn’t eaten since that phone call, they both insisted on me taking a minute to myself. It took a few minutes of back and forth, but eventually I agreed. Jamie gave me a ride, stopping to grab fast food before she dropped me off at Nick’s place, taking Payton back with her.
Puppy seemed very excited to see me. It had only been a week since we first met in Seattle, and he’d been with Nick since then, to give me time to make my moving arrangements. Still, it seemed our bond was well-cemented already, which made me happy.
I needed the company.
I took a shower and then settled on the couch, only because I wanted Puppy with me, and I wasn’t sure how Nick would feel about having him in his bed. It was starting to get late back home, but I called Keri and Arizona, and then my grandmother, to check in. Once those phone calls were done, I decided to check my social media notifications, which I hadn’t done in a while thanks to that crap with Sam and his wife.
I didn’t need the drama.
After the footage of what I’d said at the Seattle event went online, she called herself giving a half-assed “explanation” and apology. I was trying my best not to judge her too harshly, because I knew it had to hurt to fight for your marriage, but seriously... did she have to try to drag me down too?
In any case, I’d been on a break from social media. I could only take so many homewrecker accusations before it started to affect my psyche, and if there was one thing I wasn’t about to give that power, it was a bunch of strangers on the internet.
But, I knew there had been a lot of messages of support as well, so it wouldn’t hurt to give those some acknowledgement. And that was exactly what I intended until I realized the influx of notifications I’d gotten as soon as I logged into Instagram weren’t because of any of that drama.
I’d been tagged in a picture.
By @lifeonfilm.
Curious as to when Nick had been posting, and what he’d posted, I tapped into the picture. It was a picture of my face, half-squished against Nick’s leg as I slept. My hair was still in that raggedy bun, even after my shower, but something about the angle and perspective made me look... beautiful.
Maybe because that’s how he saw me, he could capture it with the simple functionality of his camera phone.
His hand was in the picture too – plastic hospital bracelet on his wrist, fingers buried in my hair. That must have been the skin-to-skin contact that pulled me from my sleep. Looking at the picture, I could feel the tingle of his fingers at the nape of my neck.
I scrolled down a little to see the caption, and my heart leapt up into my throat. Out of nowhere, tears formed behind my eyes and I pressed my lids shut, trying to hold them off.
In my lap, Puppy let out a quiet bark, seemingly annoying that he couldn’t find a comfortable spot. I ran a hand over his head to settle him, and he nestled against me, calm. Then, I was able to look at my phone again, re-reading that caption that maybe didn’t mean much to anyone else, but to me... said a lot.
#relationshipgoals.
#
“We look really, really hot. Like, impossibly hot,” I said, watching the video of Nick and I making love, which was currently playing on his computer screen. I was waiting on him to show me the final product of his movie, but since he was engrossed in answering an email or something on his phone, I was entertaining myself with the rough cut of our intimate moment.
Finally, Nick glanced up from his phone, and shook his head. “That’s all you. I’m a prop in the scene, gorgeous.”
“Oh whatever. Look at your skin. Look at those abs. Look at your ass, Nick. That’s not in the final version, is it? I’m not sure I want to share.”
Beside me, he chuckled, closing that screen to open the one containing the actual movie. “I guess you’re going to have to see for yourself. You ready?”
“I’m dying.”
“Well shit, let me hurry up and hit play then,” he laughed. “Since you’re dying.”
He was still teasing me when he finally did hit play, and I shushed him so I could pay attention. At first, there was no music or anything, just seven clips in a row, about ten seconds worth of time, of me coming through the front door. One in each different outfit and hairstyle, and then the one with him, even though his face wasn’t visible. He kicked the door closed, and the beat of unfamiliar music kicked in, timed with the slamming of the door.
He’d explained the concept to me, and I thought I had it in my head, but my imagination paled in comparison to the vivid, rich visual in front of me. Somehow, he’d fixed the timing so it was like we were watching a smooth transition of me (and me and him) moving from the front door into the kitchen, but every second was from a different scene.
I could see why it had taken him so long to show me, even with me badgering him about it. This was beautiful, intricate work. It was unique, it was stunning, it was... sexy. The music he’d chosen had a heavy baseline, but was somehow still sensual and light – the perfect backdrop for the visual.
“Is this... Songbird Dani?” I asked, recognizing her clear, gorgeous tone as she sang lyrics I’d never heard before, even though I was a huge fan. “What song is this?”
“Exclusive track,” Nick said, winking at me. He didn’t offer anything further, and I wanted to press him about it, but for now, my eyes were stuck on the screen. One second I was drinking a glass of wine, with wild hair. The next I was in afro puffs, taking a shot. Then goddess braids, swigging from a bottle of water.
“This is amazing,” I told him, in awe. I couldn’t help holding my breath a little as the scenes moved into the bedroom, wondering what I was about to see. How much I was going to see. How much the world was going to see.
But, true to his word, Nick’s editing made everything look completely tasteful while still being ridiculously sexy. It was clear that his visi
on hadn’t been to titillate with flashes of either of our body parts. It was about intimacy – even the scenes where I was reading on my Kindle, talking on the phone, scrolling social media, and especially the self-pleasure.
I was completely transfixed.
So much so that when it was over, I immediately asked him to play again, allowing me to catch things I hadn’t the first time, and then the second, and third time.
On the fourth turn, I started paying attention to the lyrics of the “exclusive track” in the background.
Sometimes I wanna come home, and be all alone
Or be all alone, and come when I get home
Or bring you home, watch you come all alone
Or come with you, when we’re alone, once we make it home
My eyes grew wide, and I looked up at Nick as a male voice – Logan Lewis, if I wasn’t mistaken – picked up, singing the same chorus Dani had just finished.
“Nick... what is the name of this song, and how did you make this happen?”
He grinned. “This is the title track of the film. Called “Homecoming.” You like it?”
“I love it. It’s friggin’ perfect! But... how?”
“Dani is an old friend,” he explained. “I’ve shot music videos for her before, so when I needed the perfect music for this... that’s who I called. I explained the concept to her, and she wanted to be in on it. As a matter of fact, she is beasting to see this. Tossed around the idea of releasing the song... using our film as her official video for it.”
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head at that. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. Obviously, if you aren’t comfortable with it—”
“Are you kidding?!” I interrupted. “Nick, I want everybody to see this! Your work is phenomenal, and it should be on the biggest platform you can get. I agreed to this, so I consider it your decision. It’s your film.”
“That wouldn’t exist without you – and not just because you’re in it. I wouldn’t have even figured it out if we hadn’t talked it through. It’s ours.”
I sucked my teeth. “Okay, well we say yes. Hell yes. Send it to her now. And send it to me, so I can send it to my friends,” I laughed. “Actually – scratch that. Arizona would be too hype not to post this, and she would kill me if she found out I sent it to Keri and not to her. So... send it to Dani for now. I already know she’s going to love it.”
Relationship Goals Page 15
