“And don’t ever mention Mr. Wilk’s cowlick in his presence if you want to pass the class. I swear the guy could use plaster and it still wouldn’t stay down. And that’s so mean to say because he’s a great teacher.”
I chuckled, enjoying whatever she had to say.
“Your turn. I’ve done all the talking.”
“What do you want to know?” I asked, curious about what she would say next.
“Where did you move from? What brings you to our sleepy little town?”
There were a hundred things she could have asked, yet she’d given me an easy one.
“Galveston and my mom. She’s sick.”
“You don’t talk much.”
“Nope.”
By the time I made it home, it was well past dinner. Dad wasn’t home, or at least his truck was missing. Mom lay in the bed looking frail. I hated how fast things had changed.
“Kelley?”
I sat. “Yes, Mom. How are you feeling?”
She reached out and took my hand. “Better. Tell me about your day. Your aunt informed me you missed dinner.”
“It’s cool. I ate dinner with a girl from school.”
Her eyes perked up before they softened. She squeezed my hand. “Kelley, I know girls flock to you like pigeons. But you need to be smart. Don’t be like your father. A pretty face and he forgets himself.”
I didn’t respond. We both knew Dad cheated on Mom. Why she stayed, I didn’t understand. Plus, her statement was a departure from the day before when she acted as though me finding a girl was a good thing. Maybe that’d been for my aunt’s benefit.
“It’s not like that with this girl. She’s got a boyfriend. She’s just helping me get caught up with classes.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
It had been. But seeing Mom put everything in perspective. She hadn’t said it, but I assumed that’s what my aunt wanted her to tell me. I’d used the library computer when I left lunch early to do some research. I’d found out that although MS wasn’t deadly, there were the rare few who did die from complications related to the disease. Mom followed that pattern. She was going to die. I could see it in her eyes and the way she held my hand.
I lay in bed that night, tossing my football up in the air. I needed a plan, and I needed a job. If Mom did die, I wanted to be able to be on my own. And wasn’t that a sucky way to think about things, which only made me think of my dead brother and how very alone I was.
Silence rang out like a school bell on the other end of the phone. I’d called Debbie once I got home.
“Well?” I demanded.
Debbie said nothing at first, which made me want to reach through the phone and smack her. “I can’t believe you called him out on it in the middle of a classroom.”
“I didn’t mean to.” I hadn’t. “But you know I’m not the type to smile in someone’s face and talk behind their back. I just blurted it out. So were you telling the truth or not?”
There was a pause, and I was about to demand an answer when she finally spoke.
“It’s complicated.”
A huff escaped my lips. “Complicated. I think it’s an easy yes or no. Did he or didn’t he—”
“No,” she blurted. “No, he didn’t try to rape me.”
I fell back on my bed with the phone pressed to one ear, and I covered my eyes with the other. There was no way to understand.
“Why?” I asked softly.
“Why?” she repeated, only grating on my nerves.
“Why did you lie?” I didn’t get it. I didn’t get her.
“Because I was embarrassed. He rejected me and told me to be more like you.”
He’d told me he’d said that. But I still didn’t quite comprehend why she would make up a lie that big just because he compared her to me in some way. It seemed stupid. Was she lying about that too? Could I even trust her? My thoughts circled to the offhand comment Trina made about not trusting people close to me. Had she meant Debbie? What did she know?
“When I told him I didn’t want to because I was a virgin, he basically wrote me off. So I tried.”
“Tried what?” I asked tiredly. I knew I should be more sympathetic, but I couldn’t muster the energy to do so.
“To give him a blow job. But I failed at that too. That’s why my legs were dirty. He had to jack himself off because I couldn’t even get that right.”
She’d seen him naked? Why did that bother me? And not for her sake, but a jealousy that she’d seen him bubbled up in my chest.
“Why do you allow yourself to get in these situations?”
“Because I’m not pretty enough, okay? You’re like my parents. You see something no guy sees. The only thing I have to offer to keep their attention is sex. And I’m a virgin.”
Her sobs broke through the hard feelings I had toward her.
“Debbie, you have to believe in yourself and not let some guy place value over you.”
These were some of the things my parents had told me until Dad’s job had become more important than my self-worth. So why was I even repeating their words when they didn’t truly believe it themselves?
The next day I swallowed my pride and approached Kelley after school. He was saying something to the girl flattened against the locker as he leaned in. She giggled, and I saw red. I had to breathe through the insane thoughts I had. I was with Ox, not Kelley, I repeated in my head.
He hadn’t seemed excited to see me, but somehow I convinced him of my sincerity. After an awkward start, we actually laughed during dinner. When I mentioned Mr. Dunnon’s unibrow, he nearly spat out his drink.
“I didn’t think you had it in you to go there, princess.”
I shrugged and ignored the princess comment. “It’s not like it’s a fact. It all moves as one.”
He laughed so hard. And boy when he smiled, he was even more gorgeous. When the check came, I saw the number the waitress had left for him. She’d graduated from school a few years ago when I’d been a freshman. The fact that she worked there and gave her number to him was sad, but pissed me off. Did she assume there was no way I was his girlfriend? Had to be. Otherwise, why had she blatantly done it?
I’d snatched the check, which he’d thought was hilarious. I’d said half-truths to hide my jealousy, but bought him dinner as I promised. I’d seen the pride in his eyes and was sure he would pay, so I hurried to do it first.
He’d walked me back to school where Mom was waiting. I had an urge to hug him then lift on my toes and kiss him. Only he waved and was gone, moving fast down the sidewalk.
“Who was that?” Mom asked once we were off. “I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes.”
“Just a guy I’m tutoring.”
Her next words shocked me. “What does Ox think about you tutoring a boy? And you didn’t come from school.”
I glared at her. “We went and had burgers. He’s new, and Ox doesn’t own me. I can have friends, even ones that are boys.”
She clammed up, and I felt more like the parent. I popped ear buds in my ears to drown out any further conversation.
The next day Kelley showed up to tutoring with books in his hand. Carl got up without being asked to. When Kelley plopped down in the chair next to me, I wanted to roll my eyes but managed not to.
“You should really put the guy out of his misery and kiss him,” he said.
“What?”
He shrugged. “He’s what you girls call hopelessly in love with you.”
“He is not.”
“Believe what you want. But if your fiancé finds out, he and the rest of the football team will fold him in a locker and leave him to starve to death.”
“Boyfriend, not fiancé.”
“Interesting you didn’t say your boyfriend wasn’t a bully.”
I couldn’t. He was and he was right. If Ox thought Carl liked me one bit, he’d shove him in a locker just like Kelley said.
“You’re too good for him.”
His statement was flat and said
without any emotion.
“And you?” I breathed, because I held my breath after.
“You couldn’t handle me, princess.” We stared at each other for a while and my heart raced. I wanted to challenge his statement, but who was I fooling. He was beautiful in a way no boy should be. On top of that, I liked our conversation, which turned into sparing matches. I liked him. Before I could put voice to any of it, he opened his math book. “Show me.”
His words were simple, but I wasn’t sure what he was asking. His bi-colored eyes held mine in challenge. I licked my lips before I took the easy way out. I started tutoring him. Well, that was a stretch. He was smart and caught on quick. The ease at which he grasped everything I showed him made me lose myself in time.
“You’ve got this. You don’t really need my help,” I said. “You’ll get in whatever college you apply to.”
“Maybe.” His response was nonchalant.
I wanted to know more about him. He was a contradiction and that fascinated me.
“Are you going to college? What do you want to be?”
He pushed his dark hair back. “I hope to play ball. You?”
It was as if he hated talking about himself. There had to be more to it. He was too smart and didn’t want to show it. But I answered him anyway.
“I want to go to Layton University in Oklahoma. Far enough from my parents, but not too far.”
“Babe.” The word was said like a dog pissing on a tree. I glared up to see Ox. “It’s late. I’m sure your parents want you home for dinner.”
I didn’t like the way he told me what to do. “We’re not finished. I can find my way home.”
Ox opened his mouth, but Kelley beat him to it. “It’s cool. I got plans with a hot girl anyway.”
My ass of a boyfriend couldn’t leave it be. “Yeah, you should leave.”
Kelley stood, making Ox raise his eyes to meet Kelley’s head-on. “You think your intimidation tactics scare me. Think again. Or maybe that word is too big for you, like my dick.”
Ox got red in the face. “Then why are you leaving, freak? I’ll shove your little pacifier down your throat.”
“Sorry, I’m not into dudes. And my pacifier would choke you anyway.” Kelley’s eyes assessed Ox like he wasn’t a threat. “And you should stop treating her like property. That ring doesn’t mean you own her. As far as history goes, slavery ended a long time ago.”
Ox wisely said nothing else as Kelley walked away.
“Are you into that guy?”
“What? This is after school tutoring, Ox. I help whoever needs it.”
I slammed the book shut, only then realizing Kelley had left it. I tucked it in my backpack, saying nothing about the fact that it wasn’t mine. If Ox had known anything about me, he would have realized I wasn’t taking AP Algebra 2.
“You should stay away from that guy. His eyes are freaky as shit.”
“His eyes are cool, and he has a name.”
“Yeah, what is it? I’ll be sure to mark that on my to-do list.”
“His name is Kelley.”
Ox barked out a laugh. “He’s got a bitch name.”
“The name is universal. Besides, he doesn’t look anything like a girl. And that’s all that really matters.”
That shut Ox up as I sauntered from the room.
The hot girl I had to go see was my mom. I promised her I would have dinner with her that night. Dad had been MIA, which was a good thing for me and, well, it bothered Mom.
“Have you seen your father?”
“No. He hasn’t been home?”
She moved her head side to side, so sad I wanted to kill the fuck even more. I was pretty sure it was Aunt Joy’s rules that had scared him off. Still, it was pretty shitty of him to leave Mom the way he did. I had to wonder if her worry over what he was up to was causing her to suddenly look far older.
“What did you do after school?”
I shrugged. “I went and got help to catch me up in my classes.”
Mom’s knowing smile broke up some of the tension I felt for watching her waste away in a bed. I wished we’d never come here.
“Does this have anything to do with a certain girl?”
“She has a boyfriend.”
“Un huh.” She dug into her food, but I knew the subject wasn’t over.
I took a bite, resenting our situation. Aunt Joy was grateful we took our meals in Mom’s room and not in the dining room.
“It’s not like she’s married. Maybe she likes you too.”
The conversation differed far greatly than the one we had yesterday.
“Maybe she’s not, but the guy she’s dating doesn’t see it that way. He gave her a ring, and she wears it like she’s married.”
Could this be any more unreal? Then again, with Sandy gone, who did I have to talk about girls with?
She patted my hand. “Regardless, she’d be lucky to date you. You should bring her by so I can meet her.”
My denial of that request was evident. I shook my head.
“Why not? It may be the—”
She stopped herself, but we both knew how that sentence ended.
“You’re getting out of here. I’m going to break you out. Maybe we can go sit by the pool this weekend.”
“Maybe.”
I decided to ask another question. Normally I didn’t pry, but I didn’t want to talk about Lenny anymore.
“Why doesn’t Aunt Joy have kids?”
“She can’t have them, and she found a husband who didn’t want them.”
Our conversation died after that. I lay in my bed last night, the only piece of furniture we’d brought from Galveston. I needed to get a job so I could help Mom pay for a place of our own. Being where we were wasn’t helping her at all. I wanted to move back to Galveston. I’d talk to Mom about it. I could take care of her and go to school at night.
The door to my room banged open, and I stared at the darkened figure in the doorway. Rain fell hard, and he dripped water on the floor as he came forward. Bile rushed to my throat because it was bad.
“Where is it, boy? Where’s the money? Your mom says she gave it back to you.”
The money I’d saved and had given to Mom, she had in fact returned it to me that night. But there was no way in hell I would give it to him as he swayed forward, slurring his words.
I’d grown, but not enough. He took a fistful of my shirt and hauled me to my feet. His beer stained breath blew in my face with each of his words.
“Give me the fucking money, Kelley.”
Trying to push him off me didn’t work. He only laughed when I swung wildly with little distance between us. He let go of me next, sending me stumbling a few steps back. With everything I had, I connected a right with his jaw.
He shook his head and said, “Bad for you.”
The warning was apt. He took one step forward, closing me in with nowhere to go. I raised my arm to protect myself and braced for the blow to come. It was better than taking a punch and leaving myself open. He wasn’t that drunk as his fist came straight at me like a sledgehammer. The crunch only confirmed he’d broken something in my face. But the lights went out, and I had a vague sense of falling.
I woke up face down and rolled, realizing my mistake too late. My ribs ached. Dad must have kicked me while I was down. Light poured into the room, and I shifted my head to see shit everywhere. He must have torn up my room searching for money. I groaned and rolled back to my stomach. Lifting my head up, I saw the nightstand still had the lamp on it. It glowed and remained untouched. I scooted across the floor and reached out a hand underneath and found the sealed bag still taped there. I sighed and lay there a few moments longer.
When I was able to prop myself up, I carefully removed my shirt and wiped my face and floor. Then I slowly got to my feet and staggered to the door to toss the smelly shirt on the landing just outside. I turned to face the damage. The mattress was tossed, along with everything else. I went to the mini fridge, the only good th
ing my aunt had provided. I righted it, suppressing a groan when sharp pain darted across my chest. I put the few bottles of water and napkins full of leftovers back inside. I cracked out one bottle of water and drank.
Then I forced myself to straighten the bed where I flopped back down, deciding school was out. I didn’t have a mirror, but I knew my face was shit. I forced my eyes closed and willed myself to sleep. I had no clock and no idea what the time was.
Some time later, a hand patted my shoulder. I blinked, praying it wasn’t my dad for a second round.
“Kelley, what happened?”
Mom came into focus. “What are you doing out of bed?” I asked, scrambling to sit up.
“I’m not dead, and I was worried about you. Your aunt said the school called and you hadn’t shown up.” I closed my eyes. Cool fingers pushed at my hair. “He did this, didn’t he? Damn him.”
I didn’t answer. Mom was in no position to fix it. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. He won’t be allowed back here. We aren’t alone anymore.”
She was dreaming. My aunt wouldn’t do anything, and my uncle was more like a scared rabbit. Dad would eat him alive.
“I’m going to get some ice. I’ll be back.”
“Mom, it’s okay.” I tried to get up and my ribs made me go back down. I pressed a hand to the sharp pain.
Mom was back. “Are they broken?”
I shook my head. “I’m okay.”
“We need to get you to a hospital.”
“No, we don’t have the money.”
“You let me worry about that.”
She hobbled out the door, and I saw how she struggled to walk. The disease that brought us there was taking hold. I felt so fucking useless because I couldn’t help her.
Some time later, Mom came in with a stranger.
“Kelley, I’ve brought a doctor to see you.”
Next thing I knew, the man sat on the side of the bed, ignoring the destruction in the room. He poked and prodded me before declaring I would be fine with rest.
“Nothing appears to be broken,” he said wearily.
Chasing Butterflies Page 7
