“What about my chest? It hurts,” I mumbled.
He turned his attention back to me. “Does it hurt to breathe?”
I took in a breath and winced. “A little.”
“Most likely they are bruised. If the pain worsens over the day or you have a harder time breathing, then I suggest you go to the emergency room.”
“My nose?” I touched the bridge of it and closed my eyes. I ached all over.
“Again, it looks fine, although swollen. You can ice it, but if it is broken, there is nothing we can do but let it heal on its own. It’s not out of alignment, so it’s just a matter of time.”
“Can you give us a minute?” Mom asked.
“Sure,” the doctor said, surveying the damage of the room. “You took quite the fall.”
So that was the story they were spinning. He stepped outside and headed downstairs.
“Who is he?” I asked.
“He’s the doctor Joy hired to come check on me.”
I nodded. She pulled a cooler I hadn’t noticed over toward the bed. The doctor must have carried it. “There are some ice packs in here. Your meals will be brought to you by Carla. You should rest.” She took a pill bottle from her pocket. “And take these for the pain. I’ll come check on you later.”
“Don’t,” I said. “You don’t need to keep walking up and down the stairs, Mom. You need rest so we can get out of here and get our own place.”
Her eyes didn’t carry the smile her mouth did. “You’re my baby. And there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
I wanted to say except leaving Dad, but I didn’t.
She opened the bottle and handed me two pills. She shuffled over to the fridge and handed me a bottle of water. I had no choice but to take the medicine as it didn’t look like she would leave until I did.
I closed my eyes and listened to her unhurried steps as she navigated walking when her muscles didn’t want to cooperate. It was hard for me not to jump up and try to carry her back to her room. I would have if merely sitting up didn’t cause massive pain. So I sank into my sleep as a dark-haired girl filled my thoughts.
Clearly, I was becoming borderline obsessive. Every day I’d been searching for Kelley. I had to return his book, I told myself. There wasn’t another reason I wanted to see him.
Finally after school, I turned to Debbie. “Have you seen Kelley?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“He left his book in tutoring, and I want to return it.” I tried for innocence, but I could tell she wasn’t buying it.
“Does Ox know you’re spending time with him?”
I took a step back. “What does it matter? There is nothing going on between us. I tutor a lot of people, and I don’t need Ox’s permission to do so.”
“I haven’t seen Kelley,” she said. “Are you still going out with Ox tonight?”
The divide between us never felt greater. I wasn’t sure I could trust the girl I’d grown up with. She acted as though aliens had taken over her body.
“Yes,” I said.
She lopped off, and I was left to wonder if our friendship would survive the year. She always came over, and we got ready together. That wasn’t her plan tonight.
I didn’t bother to go to my locker. I kept Kelley’s book in my backpack and headed outside where Mom waited to take me home.
Later that night, I stood in front of the mirror, not really wanting to go out with Ox. Mom called upstairs when he arrived. I smoothed the front of my dress down, wishing for jeans. Ox said we were going to a fancy dinner. I didn’t think sneakers would be seen as fashionable in those types of places.
Downstairs, Ox stood smiling at me. “You look beautiful, Lenny.”
“Thanks.” I felt a blush creep on my face. The way he stared, I believe him.
“You kids have fun tonight,” Mom said. Dad gave a grunt in the living room. He was watching something on TV that was far more important. He’d seen Ox and me go out plenty of times.
We didn’t end up at a restaurant. Instead, he parked in front of someone’s house.
“I thought we were going to dinner.”
He grinned as if he had the best kept secret. “I told your parents that so they wouldn’t get suspicious.”
“Suspicious of what?”
Instead of answering me, he got out of the car and came to my other side where I stayed. I wasn’t waiting for him to open my door. I was trying to decide if I wanted to go along with his harebrained scheme. There were several cars lined on the street.
He opened my door, and I glared at him. “I thought the party wasn’t until tomorrow.”
“It isn’t.”
“So what’s this?”
He took the arm I’d used to wave around to prove that all of the cars surely looked like a party to me. He yanked me to my feet, and I collided with his chest.
“It’s just a few guys and their girls. Nothing big.”
Somehow, I let him guide me in the house where burly football players and several cheerleaders sat around with plastic cups.
“Don’t you have a game tomorrow?” I whispered.
He shrugged, keeping a hold of my hand. “Let’s get you a drink.”
The cup cradled in my hand cooled my palm as I pretended to be interested in drinking. Guys were trading stories about the nasty things they did to unsuspecting freshmen. The girls laughed, and I wore a hesitant smile, trying to figure a way out of this.
I sat cradled between Ox’s legs and held in place by his big arms. I pretended to drink but took nothing more than a sip over the last hour if I could guess.
More people started to show up, including Debbie. She barely glanced in my direction as she sat with the rest of the cheerleaders. I took the opportunity to get away while Ox was otherwise occupied with his friends. I walked outside and sat on the porch after the last round of people came in. Music started and things were getting rowdy.
My phone screen remained dark as I considered calling my parents to pick me up. Ox wouldn’t be in any condition to drive me home. And I didn’t plan on becoming a statistic.
Far down the street, I saw a figure dragging a trash can to the curb. I squinted to see, mainly because there was no other movement. Things were pretty quiet outside despite the music. Ox’s house held most of the sound in.
Then the figure stepped under the glow of a street lamp. I wasn’t sure, but he looked a lot like Kelley. Without thinking, I jumped to my feet and hesitantly moved quickly down the lawn, holding back from a full out run. He disappeared into the shadows, but I knew which house he’d come from.
The mini mansions had sprawling yards, so he had fully disappeared before I got halfway there. By the time I came to a stuttering stop, he stepped out with another trash can. I froze, unable to form words. He hadn’t been in school the rest of the week, and I could see why.
“What happened?” I breathed.
He stopped short and glanced in my direction as if he hadn’t noticed me until that moment. His eyes narrowed and glanced over my shoulder.
“What are you doing here?”
“I—I’m here for a party,” I stuttered.
“Ain’t no party here.”
“Ain’t isn’t a word. And I know you know that. I’ve seen your class schedule, remember?”
He shrugged. “You still haven’t answered the question.”
“Ox is having a party at his house.”
I felt totally off balance. He didn’t seem angry, but he also didn’t seem happy about me being there.
“You should get back there.”
There were many reasons for me to heed his advice. Instead, I stepped into his space and lifted my hand. “Who did this to you?”
He stepped back, and I let my hand fall.
“None of your concern. Go back to the ball, princess. You won’t find any castles or princes here.”
“Princess,” I snapped. “You should talk. I don’t live in a house anywhere as big as this.”
His words were sharp and took me by surprise. “I don’t either. I’m barely tolerated as a guest. Don’t make judgments on what you don’t know. I’m two steps away from living on the street if my aunt kicks us out. And you want to know the truth? I’d feel more at home on the streets than I do here.”
He turned away and started off. But I couldn’t let it go. I followed him, because damn it, that was more information than he’d ever shared about himself.
“You still haven’t answered my question.”
He spun to face me. “You want to know who did this to me? Dear old Dad wanted cash I’d earned to buy beer and whatever else he’s into. When I didn’t give it to him, he commenced teaching me a lesson about who was in charge.”
With his arms folded across his chest, he held my gaze in defiance to anything I might have to say.
“That’s fucked up.” Normally, I didn’t curse. But his words hit me much like his father had beaten him. Surprisingly, he laughed. “What’s funny?” I didn’t understand why what I said would cause a burst of real laughter from him.
“That word sounds funny coming from you,” he said.
“What, fuck?” There, I’d said it again. Probably more times than I ever had in one day.
His head fell back and the belly ache of chuckles made me smile.
“I curse.”
“Sure you do. I bet you don’t even know what that word means. Or do you let Ox touch you down there until you scream?”
My jaw hit the pavement.
“That’s what I thought. Go back to your boyfriend, Lenora.”
“How do you know my name?” He’d called me Lenny like everyone else. He wasn’t in any of my classes.
“You’d be surprised what I know about you.”
It was probably crazy of me, but I followed him up a set of stairs, needing to know what he meant by what he said.
He opened a door, and I followed him inside. There were boxes everywhere and clothes on the floor. But what surprised me most was the bed in the corner to the right of a small window with a nightstand underneath.
“This is—”
“This is where I sleep, Lenora. Impressed? I’m like garbage and this is where forgotten things are kept.”
I turned in a circle, taking it all in. The ceiling peaked with exposed beams. Most of the left side of the room was filled with boxes of stuff. The right side was where he lived.
“I think it’s cool.”
“Cool?” he repeated, shocked.
“Yes.” I glanced back at the door he’d closed. The top half had a window that let in moonlight opposite the window. “It’s like having your own place. No one knows when you come and go. Talk about freedom.”
When he said nothing, I spun around and found him standing right there. My breath caught in my throat.
“What’s wrong? In a strange place with a guy you barely know? I bet no one even knows where you are.”
His face was dark with shadows.
“Why are you trying to scare me?” I tried to sound confident, but his words chilled me. Had I made a calculated mistake?
“You should be scared. You should run off back to your boyfriend. You’re safer with him than with me.”
He pointed at the door and took a step back.
I lifted my chin. I didn’t believe him. I saw clothes on his bed and a trash bag next to the door. “Maybe I want to stay.” I turned and started to lift boxes back in place. They had spilled like dominos.
“If you were in my headspace watching you bend over like that, you’d run far from me.”
Nearly tipping and stumbling head first, I stood straight and faced him. “Stop being a jerk. I’m trying to help you.”
I gave him a little shove to put some distance between us. My stomach was a riot of butterflies but in a good way.
He winced and took several steps back before plopping on his bed with his hand on his chest.
“Oh, you’re hurt,” I pronounced like a dummy. I stepped closer, nearly between his legs, and lifted his chin. “Are you okay?”
His hands landed on the back of my bare thighs, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Better now.”
I wanted to swat him away, but I had no idea the extent of his injuries. And if I could admit it, I liked him touching me. It was nothing like I felt when Ox put his hands on me.
“You should go, Len.”
He swallowed, but didn’t let go. In fact, he gripped my legs tighter while his thumbs stroked up and down the sides of my legs.
“Why?” I choked the word out.
There was silence for more seconds than I could count.
“Because I can’t give you what he can. I can’t take you to homecoming in a limo or even buy you flowers and shit.”
My throat was dry, but I managed to croak out, “Maybe I don’t want those things.”
“Trust me, you do. And even if you don’t, I’m no one’s boyfriend. I can’t be yours. I told you before, we move a lot. And as soon as I can manage it, I’m out of here for good. Besides, I like to fuck, Len. And you’re nowhere near ready for that.”
It had to be dumb that I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“How do you know what I want?”
He still hadn’t let go. Instead, his hands started to glide slowly upward.
“Has he touched you, Len?”
There was no good answer. But there was truth between us. He’d told me about his family. So I should be honest with him too.
“Yes.”
“Hell,” he growled.
“What?” A slice of fear rolled through me at the way he’d said the word.
He didn’t answer my question, though. “Did you like it? When he touched you there?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Truth?”
“Yes.” But he didn’t sound like he wanted the truth.
“Yes, a little.”
His hands were nearly touching my underwear. A thrill skipped through me.
“I bet I can make you feel a thousand times better.”
Despite his words, his hands were gone. Then they landed on my waist as he turned me to face the door while he stood up behind me.
His next words fanned across my neck like electric shocks. I shivered.
“Leave, Len. Because if you stay, I’m going to show you exactly how good I can make you feel.”
I hesitated, knowing he stood towering behind me. There was no stopping me apparently. I turned to face him.
“Dammit, Len. Today’s my birthday and I didn’t get any fucking candles to blow out. You know what I got?”
He sounded on the edge, and danger emitted from every coiled muscle in his body. I shook my head.
“I got to heal from the bruised ribs and a nearly broken nose my dad gave me. And what I see in front of me is a very pretty present I want to unwrap. And ask Debbie, I’m not a toy to play with, Len. The only kind of play I want to do with you is all hands on, kind of like naked twister. So, I suggest you go before I won’t let you leave.”
Everything he said should have frightened me. But it didn’t. There were strange sensations going on between my legs. Finally reason won as I remembered I had a curfew. And I had a feeling I would lose time if I stayed there with him. Plus, I needed my parents to pick me up because no way would I let Ox drive me.
Kelley waited, and I lifted up on my toes. I had to brace my hands on his shoulders and move in quickly to press my lips to his. They were incredibly soft, and I wanted to taste him. Heat flared on my cheeks as I sank back down to my real height. Then I met his eyes as they burned a hole through me.
“Happy birthday,” I said softly before spinning around and heading out the door.
I took the stairs two at a time with a stupid grin on my face. I didn’t look back, afraid he would be standing outside watching me. I wanted to believe he was. So I jogged back down the street on a high that was all Kelley. Nervous and giddy at the same time, I was ready to admit to myself I really liked him. He wanted t
o act tough, but I saw something softer inside him.
All I had to do was break things off with Ox. Maybe Kelley wouldn’t be my boyfriend. And maybe that was okay. I had a boyfriend for two years. I was ready to have fun and with someone I chose, not because my parents chose the boy for me.
“Where have you been?” Ox slurred when I came in the house.
I dodged his handhold and went to find my purse. I closed myself in a bathroom with Ox beating softly on the door, begging me to come out. The call netted my mother, who promised to be there in fifteen minutes. I waited there until Ox finally gave up. When I opened the door, Debbie was there.
“Ox is worried about you.”
She had the same glassy eyes, and I shook my head. “I hope you are enjoying the party.”
“I am. Don’t be such a party pooper.” The last word was more spit than voice as she giggled. I shoved by her and out the door. Mom was at the curb, waiting for me.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Ox didn’t take me to dinner. He brought me here where he and his friends decided to drink. This is the guy you want me to date?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised by her next words. “Kids. I remember when I was that age. Everyone makes a mistake. But I am glad you called me to pick you up.”
“You’re not mad. What if I drank? Don’t you want me to break up with him?”
“It’s one mistake, honey. Besides, your father will get his bonus in a few weeks. If you can just hang on until then.”
My mouth gaped. I loved my parents, but I didn’t like this side of them. I shut my mouth because it was for a good cause, wasn’t it? Dad’s job, I chanted in my head. As long as Ox didn’t force the sex issue, I could hang on another few weeks, couldn’t I? Then a plan started to form. I may have to wait to break it off with Ox. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t make a new friend in the meantime.
Her kiss left its mark on me. I touched my lips, sure I still felt hers on me. But she was gone, and I was left to lie on my bed and remember as if a punishment. It was worse than any blow my dad could lay on me.
Sleep was a daydream that played over my mind. Forced to remain conscious, I started putting the room to rights. My jaw still ached but not as much as my lips. When the boxes were stacked back and my clothes in garbage bags, one clean and one dirty, I wondered not for the first time what it would have been like to live differently.
Chasing Butterflies Page 8
