With nothing else to do, I got out the book Mom had given me, Of Mice and Men. The thin book was fat with ideas, hopes, and dreams much like my own. George and Lennie, like me, had only dreamed of a better life. Yet fate had other plans, thwarting them from reaching their goals because they were misunderstood or treated differently because they were poor. I could so relate. Even though I’d read the book before, I began again as morning sunlight rolled into my window like it would be a good fucking day. Only I knew better.
As I read about the Lennie in the story, the overgrown simpleton, despite the similarity in names, Lenny was nothing like him. She was more like the beautiful woman Lennie accidently killed. The parallel lines there was Lenny being with me would be like me killing her dreams. I had nothing to offer her other than a good fuck. And I’d just gotten to the part where Lennie was patting the girl’s dress when a rap came at the door. No one knocked. Fear was my first thought until I realized Dad would never knock. So I achingly got to my feet.
“Hi.”
She stood the picture of innocence on the other side of my door with a tray of cupcakes in her hand.
“What are you doing here?”
I made no move to let her in. Something about that act would seal my doom, especially as she stood there in a dress that made me imagine what was underneath. More times than not, when a girl wore clothes that truly hid her, those were the times my mind really wandered.
“You left your book at tutoring. Plus, I brought you birthday cupcakes.”
“It’s not my birthday,” I said gruffly.
Her big, beautiful eyes blinked in rapid succession. “I know. But it was only yesterday and you deserve a celebration.”
She was fucking sweet, like one of those kids on a sitcom. I bet she lived the life I longed for. But the last thing I wanted from her was pity.
“You can’t fix me, Len.”
Her face fell, but it was better this way. I couldn’t allow her in and hope for something that could never be. If I let myself feel, I would be torn away from this place in a blink of an eye. Moving to the next town, the next place where our lives would be better. And I couldn’t take much more heartache. I had a dead brother, an ailing mother, and a father who cared nothing for me to fill those holes.
“I’m not—”
I cut her off.
“Look, go home before your parents find out you’re trying to make friends with trash instead of taking it to the curb to be picked up.”
Those pretty features of hers scrunched up in a mask of anger. I thought she would stalk off and I’d be done with her as much as she would be with me. Only she shoved past me and into my room. She set the tray down on my bed and turned to face me.
She pointed a small finger in my direction. “You don’t get to talk about yourself like that.”
One perfect brow arched up under her bangs. I had an urge to reach out and push her hair back so I could admire her stubbornness.
“You try to pretend you’re this tough guy that words just bounce off of. But I know better. You’re sweet and your heart is pure.”
I glanced away, unable to face her when I said the next words.
“You wouldn’t call me pure if you knew I was picturing you naked on my bed.”
Then I met her glare as she shook her head slightly side to side.
“You’re trying to piss me off and it won’t work this time. You will blow out a candle if it kills me.”
A chuckle burst from me as the line of her jaw mirrored her wide stance with her arms crossed over her chest. She was fucking adorable, if ever that word fit something in my life.
“Fine, I blow out your candle. Then you’re leaving.”
Her lips curled in a smile I felt all the way to my toes. She moved, pulling out a candle and a matchbook from a hidden pocket from her dress. Then she was just there in front of me, making my mouth water.
“Make a wish, Kelley,” she breathed, stealing my unhappiness and wrapping it with her joy.
She was so close I could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo or perfume. I didn’t have to think about what I wished for. The idea, the fantasy was right there in front of me as I blew a slow stream of air past my lips. The flame flickered as her hair fluttered around her head. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.
With quick fingers, she plucked the cupcake from my hand and placed it back on the tray.
“What did you wish for?”
There was no way in hell I would reveal that. “If I told you, it wouldn’t come true.”
“I know what I wish for.”
Then she seemed to grow before I realized what she was about to do. She stood on her toes and her face inched toward mine. How much I hungered to taste her again. It was evident in the weight of my balls as they drew up with anticipation.
I placed my hands on her thin shoulders, holding her back, and watched humiliation grow on her face.
“Sorry, Len, but you and I can’t.”
I wondered if she realized she poked her lip out like a five-year-old and it would be so easy to kiss her.
“Why not?”
I could tell her how shitty my life was, but that hadn’t stopped her last night. I could tell her I wanted to know for myself the color of her underwear, but my sexual innuendos were also lost on her. So I went with the truth.
“Because the next time I kiss you, you’ll be mine not his.”
Her eyes filled, but not with tears. She got it that I wasn’t joking.
“You don’t understand—” Her head shifted side to side.
“I do.”
“There are reasons, and I wish things could be different…”
But things weren’t different. They were the same as always and maybe worse. In Galveston, I had football. Here I didn’t have that. I had nothing to look forward to except that maybe Mom would get better.
As she eyed me with admirable defiance and a little remorse, I offered a bargain and half hoped she would accept.
“Then stop being a tease and call him to break up with him so we can finish what we started.”
She glared at me. And I saw when she made up her mind and hated myself for it.
“Happy belated birthday, Kelley.”
And she left. The cupcakes and the tray remained on my bed as she made her hasty exit. Why did I feel like such a shit? She had a fucking boyfriend.
The six cupcakes were devoured hours before heavy footsteps made their way to my door. I scrambled to sit up in bed with only lamp light to scare away the dark that streamed through my windows.
“What the fuck, Kelley?” Dad bellowed as he banged through my door. “What did you say to your mother?”
Words would only fuel his anger, so I remained mute with one hand on the empty metal tray Lenora had left. Her forgetfulness may save my life, because there was murder in my father’s eyes.
He bent over me, grabbing the collar of my T-shirt. Fabric gave way, which only made him grab more as he hauled me to my feet. I brought the tray with me. I was just about to slam it in the back of his head when Mom’s voice rang out in the night like a broken bird.
She called my father’s name, but not in an angry way. It was more of a plea that stopped my dad in his tracks. His choking grip on my shirt released. And then he was out the door. From his profile on the ledge, I saw his eyes widen. Fear spiked through me as the tray clattered from my hands to the floor. I moved like chilly breeze to the door. Dad was already making his way to where Mom was crumpled at the bottom of the stairs.
“Mom.”
It didn’t matter that my voice sounded like the boy I’d once been. Mom looked so helpless and lost as Dad scooped her up.
“You shouldn’t be out here. I can’t lose you, honey.”
Those words and how he reverently said them stole the fight out of me. That was the first time I realized Dad loved Mom. Maybe he hated her and us too. But he’d once loved her and she had him. Somewhere they’d lost their way. In that moment, though, I
knew I could trust him with her.
I watched him carry her into the house and debated on whether I should follow. I sat on the stairs, knowing that Mom needed this time with that side of Dad. I planted myself and listened. If she cried out, I would go and kill the bastard if I had to. But until then I would wait it out until he left as he would.
Good Dad may have shown up, but I didn’t expect it to last forever. Everyone eventually let me down. Sandy, my brother, died, leaving me alone without his protection. Mom had grown ill and would probably die by the looks of things. Dad had never once masqueraded like a real dad. And Lenny had walked out when I told her she would have to choose between me and her asshole of a boyfriend. No one ever chose me in the end.
We stood in our kitchen as Mom gave me a speech and then a list of the rules.
“It’s one night,” I said, slightly annoyed she thought I couldn’t take care of myself.
“And a school night,” Mom added. “We trust you, honey. We really do. It’s just…” I tried really hard not to roll my eyes, but I failed. She sighed. “Here are the keys to my car so you can drive yourself to and from school. I’ve texted you the hotel information, and you can call us if you need anything. We should be home by dinner tomorrow. If not, I’ve left some money in the cookie jar for you to order pizza or something for both nights.”
I nodded.
“Come on, let’s get going. I want to beat traffic,” Dad called from the front room.
“All right,” she said, angling her neck as if she could see Dad. Then she turned back to me. “Be good.” She kissed my forehead before walking out of the room.
I waved for good measure. Once the front door closed, I raced to the window and watched them drive off before I danced around the living room.
“Freedom,” I called out.
I gripped Mom’s keys tightly in my hand as I continued to dance through the house. It wasn’t often I was given such a gift. I was actually quite happy it was a school night. If it had been the weekend, Ox or Debbie would have found a way to ruin my solitude with a last minute party. Instead, I grabbed my backpack and headed for school.
After school, Ox hovered over me like a mother hen. “You don’t need a ride?”
“No, I told you I have Mom’s car.”
“You don’t want me to come over?”
My glare did nothing. “They trust me. For all I know they’ll come back home tonight to test me. And if you’re there I’ll be grounded for life.”
He sighed. “Fine. But I’ll call you later to see if you changed your mind.”
The nod I gave him didn’t match the unspoken words in my head. Don’t worry, I won’t change my mind.
As I got in my car, I thought about how Debbie didn’t even know my parents weren’t home. She and I had barely spoken in days. She’d spent more time with the other cheerleaders on the squad, and I felt like the odd man out. Cheerleading had been her dream, which was why I considered quitting. She’d barely talked to me at practice and neither of us made the effort to call the other in over a week. I considered ending our stalemate by inviting her over for dinner. We could watch movies or do something like we’d done before boys came between us.
I slowed the car as I watched Kelley walk achingly slow down the street.
“Need a ride?” I called from the open window.
He jerked in my direction with a wince on his face.
“No, I’m good.”
“Don’t be like that. Your place is like two miles away. Let me drop you off.”
I pulled to a stop on the side of the road. He came over to the car and peered in. “Won’t your mom be waiting for you to arrive home on time?”
“My parents are out of town. No one’s waiting on me.”
He opened the door without giving me a response and slid into the seat. He had to crank it back to comfortably fit his long legs. Mom’s Subaru Forrester masqueraded like a family car but it was a compact version of one.
Before I could strike up a conversation, he turned on the radio and found a station he liked. Sitting back, he closed his eyes and effectively ended any possibility of conversation. I sighed, knowing it was for the best. He’d warned me off so many times, why was I pushing the possibility of a friendship with him?
Parking the car near the garage, he got out without a word. He set his backpack on the stairs then headed over to my side of the car. I rolled down the window.
He leaned down and got so close. His lips were there, and I’d bet money they’d be as soft as they had been the last time I’d kissed him.
“You should go, princess, before your ride turns into a pumpkin. Your parents probably have GPS installed and are tracking your movements. Or maybe your boyfriend does. Wouldn’t want him to find out you’re here with me.”
He tapped the top of the car and strode toward a side door. I turned off the car, not wanting to be so goddamn predictable.
“Wait,” I called out. He had the door open as he turned back to me. “I’m not the perfect princess you think I am.” I marched over to him with confidence I couldn’t quite pull off. “Yes, my parents trust me. But that’s not a bad thing. I’m free to do what I want even if it means spending time with your grumpy self.”
Those lips of his bent in a smile. “I know how we can spend that time.” He winked at me. My jaw dropped as if I should be surprised. “But I have something I have to do first.”
Okay, he hadn’t exactly told me to follow him, but I did anyway. At the first opening on the left, he turned in. I was already there before I realized I shouldn’t have been.
“Who’s this?” a beautiful woman asked from the confines of a bed.
His floppy hair covered one eye as he tilted his head back in my direction. “Mom, this is Lenny, or Lenora. Lenny, this is my mom.”
As awkward as it was, I walked forward to take her hand. Only she tugged me closer. Taken off guard, the little pressure she exerted pulled me closer to the bed, so I was practically dropped on it.
“Nice to finally meet you.”
I couldn’t hide my shock. Had Kelley talked to his mother about me? A scattering of wings beat in my belly.
“Mom,” Kelley admonished.
She let go of my hand, and I took a step back. “She is the girl you were telling me about?” He gave her a curt nod but avoided looking at me. “It’s not often, how about ever, that my son talks about a girl.”
“I told you she has a boyfriend. So don’t start, okay?” he gritted out.
“So she’s a friend. You need more of those,” she said to him. Then her bright green eyes met mine. “He’s a very private person. He never likes to talk much. So be patient with him.”
“Okay, this is over.” He stood. “Lenny, it’s time for you to go.”
A small woman came in. Her smile grew as she took in the three of us. She didn’t look at all like his mother. Her skin was a natural golden tan I would have killed to have. Still, I guessed it could be his aunt.
“Mrs. Jackie and Mr. Kelley, I see you have a guest. I was just coming to ask about dinner.”
His mother spoke next. “Ah, my son has a friend over. Would it be okay to set another place for dinner?”
I still wasn’t sure who the woman was. “I have an idea,” she said. “Mrs. Joy and her husband are out for the evening. Why don’t I serve Mr. Kelley and his friend out by the pool? I don’t anticipate Mrs. Joy will be home tonight.”
“That sounds wonderful,” his mother said.
“Mom, Lenny probably has plans.”
“No, I actually don’t,” I said with a huge grin, opposite of his scowl.
“Wonderful,” his mother answered.
The cook or the housekeeper bustled off, leaving the three of us alone.
“Go take her around back.” She shooed us with a wave of her hand.
“Fine, but I’ll be back later to check on you.”
She smiled. “Don’t worry. Your father promised to be home in time to watch a movie with me.�
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His frown deepened. “Let’s go, trouble.”
I followed him outside. The sun was still fairly high in the sky. We walked around back and entered an iron rod gate. Colorful flower bushes lined the fence, hiding it for the most part. A pool with water the color of one of Kelley’s eyes beckoned me to reach in and touch its cool depths.
“It’s beautiful out here,” I said, spinning around. He sat in a chair that was shaded by a table umbrella. I sat opposite him. “This is amazing.”
He said nothing as I spotted the cutest looking cottage in the back corner. It had to be a pool house. The housekeeper came out with a freaking tray of milk and cookies.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
She winked at him. “I’ll bring dinner out in a little while, and then I’ll leave you alone.”
What did she think we were going to do? Had he brought other girls out here? I dismissed that because his mom said he didn’t bring anyone around.
“Your mom seems nice.”
“She is. Now tell me, Len, why are you here? We already had this discussion.”
I took a bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies and nearly moaned. It was warm and gooey. “Oh my God.”
“Lenny,” Kelley warned.
“It’s good. You should try it. And your mother says you need friends.”
“My mother still believes dreams come true.”
“And who says they don’t?” I challenged.
“I do.” He glared at me. So I drank some milk. “You want to know why I was walking home?”
I shrugged. “If you’ll tell me.”
“I had to stay after school to use the computer in the library to do my homework and print it out because we don’t own one. I don’t have a cell phone either. I don’t own anything but the bed in my room. But when I leave, and I will get out of this hell hole, it will stay, because I don’t have a way to take it.”
His words punched me in my chest. But I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted.
“You need to stop throwing yourself pity parties. No one I know of has treated you differently in this school. I certainly haven’t. And surely no one knows where you live. Why don’t you enjoy the moment, enjoy this gorgeous day and accept my friendship?”
Chasing Butterflies Page 9
