Half Bad: A Reverse Harem Goddess Romance (Godhunter Book 31)

by Amy Sumida

  “Ve veren't supposed to look back after ritual at lake,” Kirill clarified. “Ve burned, zen drowned effigy and couldn't touch it once in river. Zen ve had to valk away and not look back or fall on vay home. If ve did, Marzana vould have us.”

  “She would have you.” Odin nodded. “Yes, just as these snakes had the men who turned around to look at them. Humans must like the way that sounds—only those who turn around can be taken.”

  “You're blaming the humans?” Austin asked in surprise.

  “Humans created the myths,” Odin explained. “We are the ones who must abide by them in exchange for the offerings we receive.”

  “Like that whole thing about what we hold true on Earth shall be held true in Heaven?”

  “Sort of,” Azrael stepped in. “The original translation of that verse is 'whatever you bind on Earth will be bound in Heaven.' I think that's closer to the truth. Humans make the stories and we are bound by them.”

  “And those stories tend to have common themes,” I added. “Like this whole not looking back thing.”

  “Like Lot's wife,” Austin offered.

  Odin frowned at him.

  “In the Bible. You know, Lot and his wife were saved from Sodom but couldn't look back. She looked back and was turned into salt.”

  “That never happened,” Azrael said dryly. “Sodom was destroyed but no one was turned into salt and it had nothing to do with sodomy. It was all because Jerry wasn't invited to the party.”

  “What nonsense are you speakin' now?” Austin whined.

  “Jerry as in Jehovah,” I reminded Austin. “Your god.”

  “Yeah, I got that part. It's the party thang that's got me riled up.”

  “Jerry loves his wine.” Azrael shrugged. “You know that whole thing about Jesus turning water into wine? It was because he knew his dad was about to arrive and they had run out of wine. Jerry does not like parties without wine, but it's far worse to not invite him at all. Sodom and Gomorrah were having constant parties with lots of wine but neither city worshiped Jehovah. Quite the opposite; they practically gave him the finger. Thus, he got really pissed. Thus, utter destruction.”

  “I can't even...” Austin sat back in his chair and just stared at Az.

  “But my point is,” Azrael went on. “Lot died in Sodom, both him and his wife. Those angels who supposedly helped his family get out of the city? They saved Lot's daughters but left him behind.”

  “Why in tarnation would they do that?” Austin huffed.

  “Because when the men of Sodom asked Lot to send out his new friends—the aforementioned angels—to join their orgy, Lot offered those ass—” Azrael suddenly recalled his younger audience and extended the word into, “—teroids his daughters. His virgin daughters. What kind of man offers his innocent daughters to be gang”—Az glanced at the children again—“abused in place of a couple of strangers he just met?”

  “Yeah, I've always wondered about that,” Austin admitted.

  “Well, a buddy of mine was one of those angels, and he was not pleased with Lot's offer. He convinced his partner, the other angel, that they should save the girls, who happened to be some of the only innocents left in the city. They flew them out of Sodom right before the place was brimstoned.”

  “Wasn't Lot's daughters the ones who got their dad drunk and seduced him?” I asked.

  “And I think breakfast is done!” Samantha declared abruptly. “Who wants to go outside and play in the fort?”

  “I do!” All of the children said at once.

  “Thank you,” I mouthed at Sam. I couldn't believe I'd slipped up like that. And after Azrael had done so well.

  After the children paraded out with Fallon and Samantha, Azrael got back to his story.

  “That was another lie. As I said, Lot was dead. He never lived in a cave with his daughters and they never seduced him. They did, however, seduce my buddy.” Az grimaced. “But that was awhile after the whole Sodom thing. My friend was looking after them since their family was dead and they... well, you know how it is. He's an angel and he saved them. They had a crush.”

  “Which buddy is this?” I asked suspiciously.

  “I can't, Carus. You'd never be able to speak to him without giving away the fact that you knew.”

  “Aw, come on,” I whined.

  “Nope. Not telling. You have no poker face and no filter. You'd probably blab it the second you saw him.”

  “Did they have babies with your friend?” I asked.

  “No. They eventually married humans and lived normal lives but some malicious gossiper made up a story about the girls because they lived outside of town without men to look after them, which was not often done back then.”

  “That's just as mean as a mama wasp.” Austin shook his head.

  “Where do you come up with those lines?” Viper shook his head in wonder.

  “I'm Texan.” Austin smirked.

  “Aren't there Greek myths about not looking back?” Trevor asked me. “Something about leaving the Underworld.”

  “Just because I'm an Olympian, it doesn't mean that I know all of the Greek myths.” I pushed at his thick bicep.

  “Oh, of course, you're an Olympian too.” Austin grimaced.

  “It's not as impressive as it sounds.” I shrugged. “I killed Aphrodite and took her magic so I got to take her place on the council.”

  “You did what?!”

  “She had me chained to a wall and was beating me to death. Well, whipping me to death. I did what I had to do.”

  “Oh, sure. As one does.” Austin rolled his eyes. “Just kill the Goddess of Love.”

  “Why does everyone get hung up on Aphrodite?” I grumbled. “Even Mr. Texas Christian over here.”

  “Well, there's that painting.” Austin grinned and waggled his brows.

  I gave him the look that statement deserved.

  “Orpheus and Eurydice,” Azrael declared.

  “No, I think it's called Venus de Milo or Venus on the half shell or something like that,” I said.

  “It's called the Birth of Venus. How do you not know that, Carus? You're an artist.”

  “Just because I'm an artist, it doesn't mean that I know the title of every painting,” I said in the same way that I'd replied to Trevor about the Greek myths. “You're the collector; that's your job.”

  “Fair enough.” Azrael chuckled. “But I wasn't talking about that painting, I was answering Trevor. The myth of Orpheus and Eurydice is about leaving the Greek Underworld and not looking back. Orpheus' wife, Eurydice, died but Orpheus convinced Hades to allow Eurydice to leave the Underworld. Hades put one condition on her leaving: Orpheus couldn't look back. He had to lead Eurydice out of the Underworld without checking to see if she was following. He had to have faith in her and trust Hades to let her go. They were just a few steps away from freedom when Orpheus began to have his doubts and looked back. Eurydice was whisked back to Hades.”

  “Right. That's the one!” Trevor exclaimed.

  “Of course, that isn't true either—” Azrael started to say.

  “Not today, Son of Satan!” Austin sat up and smacked the table. “I will not allow you to ruin another story for me. I already know they're not real, you don't have to rub a pillar of salt in my wound and tell me the ugly truth. Keep it to ya damn self.”

  “I thought you like knowing the truth?” Azrael asked in surprise.

  “I'm plumb full of truth; that's enough for one day,” Austin declared. “A single kernel more and I'll be fallin' over from it.”

  “You sound like you could use a good night's sleep,” I said gently.

  “If it were night here, sure.” Austin chuckled. “But I'll settle for a good day's sleep.”

  “We'll find you a room,” I offered. “When you get up tonight, we can call in the Squad and discuss our next move.”

  “I need to go back to Earth later,” Austin said, then blinked. “Now, there's a sentence I never 'spected to say. Anyway, I work in the mornin
'. Which I guess will be the evenin' here.”

  “We're on African time—Rwandan, to be exact,” Azrael said. “It's about 7 hours ahead of Texas.”

  “It's a good thing I brought my cellphone then, wat'nit?” He pulled out his phone and tapped at it. “I have it set to Texas time and it has my alarm scheduled.” He frowned at his phone suddenly, then looked up at me. “How do cellphones catch service if we're in another realm?”

  “As I told you before, service is sketchy for phone calls, that's why we do texts,” I explained. “But we have Internet service because of Torrent, I think I told you about that too. Torrent's the Internet God, remember?”

  “Oh, right.” Austin shook his head as if to clear it. “Like I said, I'm plumb full. So full that information is startin' to leak out of my ears. I need to hit the hay.”

  “I'll find him a room,” Kirill offered.

  “Thanks, honey.” I lifted my head for a kiss from Kirill as he passed by. To the sleepy cowboy, I added, “Goodnight, Austin. Sleep tight, don't let the god bugs bite.”

  “God bugs?!”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  My husbands gave Viper and me some time alone after breakfast, which was more like dinner. Even though I was tired, I decided to stay up; I wanted to spend some time with my children before I had to check on Texas again. But first, I needed to reconnect with Viper and before I did that, I wanted a shower.

  I love my home and I'd be hard-pressed to pick a favorite part of it. The butterfly garden, with its immortal butterflies, the library with cozy nooks to read in, the common room where the Intare get together to play games or watch TV, and let's not forget about my dressing room. There were so many wonderful places to spend time in Pride Palace and my bathroom was one of them.

  Done in an art nouveau style, in shades of autumnal golds and greens, it opened off my bedroom and stretched back in a rectangle. To the right of the bathroom door, the fireplace—open on both sides so both the bathroom and bedroom could enjoy it—crackled with flames despite it being Summer and the middle of the day. I like to have a fire going while I bathed, it feels luxurious and relaxes my dragon.

  Along the left wall, a counter held two sinks with a mirror above them, the mirror bordered by frilly, art nouveau flowers. At the back wall, a shower stall took up the left corner and a water closet was on the right. A dressing table filled the space between those two, with another frilly, floral-bordered mirror above it and a gold stool before it. I don't know why I bothered with moisturizers, I didn't need them. I guess I just enjoyed the way they made my skin feel. Or maybe it was the ritual of it that was hard for me to give up. Gods, humans, and faeries—we all love rituals.

  In the middle of all of this, a massive, sunken bathtub mimicked the shape of the room, so large that it was more like a pool. Long, wide-mouthed, golden spigots perched over three sides of the tub, ready to fill the thing in minutes, and a ledge ran along the walls to form a continuous bench. The fourth side, that nearest the sinks, had a set of steps instead of a spigot, descending to the bottom of the tub.

  I felt wasteful every time I took a bath but it wasn't as if there were a water shortage in the God Realm. Honestly, I don't even know where it came from. I designed the palace to have plumbing and voila, there it was. I let the magic figure out how to get water into the pipes. I've often used the showerhead that hung over the tub—and yes, there's a shower at the back of the room and one with the tub; it's good to have an extra shower when you live with so many men—instead of filling it and that's what I had intended to do then.

  But Viper had followed me into the bathroom and turned on the bathtub's spigots.

  I looked over my shoulder at him as I stripped. “You want a bath?”

  “I do.” He grinned. “You want to join me?”

  “Well, it would be a waste of all that water not to.” I sat at the dressing table naked and started brushing my hair.

  Viper came to stand behind me and took the brush from me. He smiled at me through the mirror and started to brush my hair. My hair was long and could be a pain in the ass to brush so I wasn't about to reject the offer. Plus, it feels nice. The gentle strokes shivering up the strands, Viper's hands lifting the weight of my hair, and the bristles massaging my scalp. I sighed and watched him in the mirror.

  I'd made that body. Every time I thought about it, it made my head spin a little. I made Viper's body. I had given him magic and life. But that didn't make him mine. He was mine because he wanted to be. As I wanted to be his. And I suppose that's far more miraculous than making an entire person without giving birth to them.

  I couldn't take credit for his looks though. Some of my husbands had worried that since I created Viper, his body must be everything that I found desirable; my dream man made flesh. But that wasn't the case. I blinked when I realized I hadn't told him that. I'd told the other men but not Viper.

  I stared at Viper's powerful body: the broad shoulders, sculpted chest, and thick arms. I admired the fall of his short, raven hair—a touch longer now, and his angular features. I could feel him through our bond, see the piece of him inside my mind as a silver mist, but that represented his star magic, not him. Why was this body a representation of Viper's soul? What did it mean? I had only accessed and guided the magic of creation, I had no insight into its reasoning. Did the slant of Viper's cheekbones imply that he had a sharpness to him? Did the breadth of his shoulders mean that he could endure anything? Did those sensual lips suggest... well, that much, at least, I could be sure of. Viper had never fallen short in bed, not even his first time.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Viper's voice went low—somewhere between arousal and curiosity.

  “I didn't choose your appearance.”

  He blinked. Stopped brushing. The hand holding the brush dropped to his side. “What?”

  I smiled and turned in my seat to face him. “That doesn't mean I don't like your body.” I slid my hands up his taut stomach and grinned wickedly.

  Viper caught my hands in one of his. “What do you mean, you didn't choose my appearance?”

  “I've remembered more about what happened. When I took you from the Void, I allowed your soul to influence your physical body. In a way, you picked this form. I only chose your eyes and I did that in honor of your magic.”

  Viper's face fell. He looked crushed.

  I stood up in surprise. “Why are you upset? This is the real you. You don't have to feel as if I picked man-parts I preferred and slapped them together like Dr. Frankenstein. You are who you want to be with just a touch of me there.”

  “But I don't care about how I look.” His jaw clenched before he went on. “I was proud that you had chosen this body. Relieved, in a way.”

  “Relieved? Why?”

  “If this was what you wanted, there was no possibility of you not liking something about me. You wouldn't...”

  “Reject you?” I asked in horror.

  “I was certain that I was what you wanted,” he corrected. “Hell, Vervain, I've bragged about it. What made you think that I'd prefer to know that this is what I wanted, not you?”

  “Our fight,” I whispered. “The things you said. I thought you'd like to know that you are your own man—from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.”

  Viper let out a sigh and released my hands. He tossed the hairbrush onto the dressing table, then took my face in his hands. “I didn't mean those things. I said them because at that moment, with you acting as you had and saying what you did, I felt...”

  “Oh, Gods,” I whispered as I pulled back. “You felt ashamed. Ashamed that you were mine.”

  Viper swallowed roughly and shook his head. “I felt ashamed that I belonged to you. Body, soul, and heart: they're all yours, Vervain. And you were belittling me.”

  I started to protest, but he held up a hand to stop me.

  “I know now that wasn't your intent but it felt like it then. It felt like the woman I loved, the woman who I had waited for, was
treating me as if she owned me—as if I were a dog who had misbehaved—and the worst part was that it's true.”

  “It is not true!” I snarled.

  Viper blinked in shock. “It is. I just told you—”

  “Viper”—I took his hands from my face and held them again—“there is a huge difference between owning someone like a slave and owning their heart. You have never been my slave. From the very beginning, you established that you were your own person. Even when you followed my commands, you did it as my general, not my creation.”

  Viper made a soft sound—half amused and half adoring. “I guess you're right. But I would still do anything for you. I let evil inside my soul for you. I think that makes me yours.”