The Saint Valentine’s Day Murders

by Ruth Dudley Edwards

  ‘Where was I? It wasn’t until I promised him immunity from prosecution that he showed any dawning signs of mental activity. He asked a couple of “Supposing I had, though mind you I’m not admitting anything” questions. Then he brooded for a while until I put the boot in by telling him I’d be arranging pronto for him and a number of his colleagues to take part in an identification parade. He cracked up completely then. Admitted the lot.’

  ‘Did he tell you what made him do it?’

  ‘He claims it was just frustration over not being called to the promotion board. He had visions of spending the rest of his working life in PD and he wanted to get back at the BCC somehow. He panicked afterwards—hence the anonymous letter. He claims to be ashamed of that now.’

  Pike’s forehead wrinkled. ‘It doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to me.’

  ‘I don’t know. You’ve read Robert’s letters. Don’t you think the prospect of staying for ever in that ghastly dump could give you a kind of nervous breakdown? Pooley and Robert seemed to think so.’

  ‘If you’ll forgive me saying so, sir, I’m not sure I agree with you. The three of you are maybe a bit too intelligent to put yourselves in Illingworth’s shoes. He sounds dim enough to me to put up with the sort of boredom you couldn’t stand. He had quite a soft option there really.’

  ‘But he was very upset about the promotion board. There’s no doubt about that.’

  ‘I know, sir. But I’ve known chaps like him in the force. They complain a lot and pretend they think they should get promotion, but they don’t really believe it themselves, and a couple of days after they’ve been turned down they’ve got over it. It adds a sort of interest to their lives.’

  Pike was warming to his subject. It was the longest speech Milton had ever heard him make. ‘You see, sir, from what I’ve heard about Illingworth, I’d say it was only his private life that really mattered to him. He would see work just as a way of supporting his family. And I can’t see him taking the risk of losing his job and putting his child’s future in jeopardy just because he was going to stay stuck as an APE. I bet something at home had upset him a lot.’

  Milton scratched his head vigorously. ‘You may well be right. In fact, you probably are. But what the hell was it? I’ve had the local police tailing his wife to see if she’s carrying on with anyone, because I thought that was the most likely motive for attempting murder. She doesn’t look to me like the faithful type and when we were there last Sunday she was ratty with him. But they’ve drawn a blank so far. She’s been arriving home promptly from her bar job every evening and they haven’t picked up any gossip about her. Even Pooley can’t think of any other reason he might want to kill her, except that she might have been battering that bloody kid he goes on about ad nauseam.’

  There was a loud rap on the door and Romford entered in what for him was an unceremonious manner. He was wearing what Milton privately called his Mary Whitehouse expression. He thrust a couple of sheets of paper in front of Milton and said grimly, ‘I think you’d better read that at once, sir.’

  Pike got up but Milton gestured at him to stay. He preferred not to be left alone with Romford in a censorious mood. As he scanned the first few paragraphs of the report his lips twitched. By the end of the first page he was grinning broadly. When he came to the concluding paragraph he burst into roars of laughter, which halted abruptly when he caught sight of Romford’s scandalized face.

  ‘I beg your pardon, Romford,’ he said with as much sincerity as he could muster. ‘I realize it’s all very squalid and reprehensible, but I can’t avoid seeing the joke.’

  ‘I wish I could see some humour in it, sir,’ said Romford. His heavy-handed delivery indicated that he would consider his soul to be in danger if he did. ‘But quite apart from anything else, I find it disgraceful that police funds should be used in that way. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.’

  Pike looked at Milton in bewilderment as his inspector closed the door loudly behind him. ‘It’s a report from the Essex DC who does the second shift watching Henry Crump. Henry has broken out at last.’

  He watched Pike hopefully as he began to read. It was with relief that he saw his face begin to contort as he read slowly on. When he turned over the page he emitted a loud snigger.

  Good old Sammy, thought Milton. And now what am I going to do with Romford? I wish the Vice Squad was still in existence.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  When the last of Amiss’s staff left to begin the long journey home he dialled Milton’s number.

  ‘Jim? Robert. I’m ringing now for two reasons. First, I’m off to meet Rachel at Heathrow and we’ll probably be out too late for you to ring me tonight, so I thought I’d ask for news of the day. Second, I want to know if someone has been duffing up Henry.’

  ‘Did you know you still talk like a civil servant at times?’

  ‘Cut out the insults and answer my question.’

  ‘What makes you think we’ve been duffing him up?’

  ‘He rang up mid-morning to say he wouldn’t be in because he was feeling very ill. He certainly sounded it. Naturally I thought you’d had one of the heavy mob trampling on him since we spoke last night. Graham isn’t in either, but I expected that after what you told me.’

  Milton decided to save up the Henry story. ‘This must be putting a lot of work on to you, Robert,’ he said, hoping his amusement was not evident in his voice.

  ‘You’re not kidding. Between us, the remains of PD2 today did at least six hours solid work each. I took on Henry’s, Tony did Graham’s and Bill’s doing Melissa’s in any case. If you can arrange for one of us to be arrested, you will finally have eliminated over-manning here.’

  ‘It certainly adds a whole new dimension to the concept of natural wastage.’

  Amiss looked suspiciously at the telephone. ‘You sound to me as if you’re in a rather skittish mood. Is it something about Henry? Have you caught him with his socks stuffed full of toxic substances?’

  With considerable relish, Milton commenced the account of Henry’s night out. When he got to the scene in the night club, Amiss was laughing so much he almost fell off his chair. A thought struck him. ‘Hang on a minute, Jim.’

  He went to his door, looked around the office and came back. ‘Sorry. I just had to check that the workaholics of PD1 have all gone. Some of them occasionally stay for an extra ten minutes. Go on. How long did Henry stay?’

  ‘Until the club closed at five o’clock, by which time Richmond had been obliged to buy four bottles of champagne. He alleges he had no option. His expenses claim is going to be a beauty.’

  ‘What was Henry doing all this time?’

  ‘What you’d expect. Leering at the strippers and pawing the hostess. You haven’t heard the best bit yet.’

  ‘Don’t keep me in suspense.’

  ‘Well, reading between the lines of the report, Richmond was rather the worse for wear and Henry was extremely drunk. He didn’t cause any trouble over the bill—probably because he couldn’t read the figures. Tendered his credit card like a gentleman, embraced his hostess and left like a lamb. Richmond followed him out and hung around within a few feet of him, reckoning that Henry wouldn’t be able to remember anything the next day. He didn’t realize why Henry was standing outside the club until he began hammering on the door shouting for Twinkles.’

  ‘Twinkles?’

  ‘Yes. History does not record whether that was her given name, her professional name, or a nickname bestowed upon her by Henry. Anyway, it became clear that Twinkles had promised to take Henry home in gratitude for the champagne and a £50 present, handed over in cash in the club.’

  ‘And she had in fact vanished?’

  ‘Of course. And no one within the premises was prepared to answer the door to Henry. He was making such a racket that Richmond, sloshed, forgot he was a detective rather than an ordinary copper and began to remonstrate with him.’

  ‘How did this go down?’
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  ‘Badly. Henry hit him and he had to get him in an arm-lock to prevent further damage. As Henry began to quieten down, a patrol-car came cruising down the street and two uniformed bobbies joined in. Richmond was afraid to reveal his identity in front of Henry, lest the struggle had sobered him up, so they were both taken to a police station.’

  ‘They weren’t charged?’

  ‘No. Richmond managed to square things with the sergeant at the desk and so instead of being done for Drunk and Disorderly, Henry was put in a taxi and sent home.’

  ‘It was lucky for Henry that Richmond was about, all things considered.’

  ‘Not so lucky for Richmond. I’m afraid he’ll be in trouble.’

  ‘He didn’t do anything terrible, did he?’

  ‘In my view he did well, apart from the one minor lapse. But there is a school of thought that he should have waited outside the club for Henry rather than sampling the flesh-pots within. He’ll have to be taken off this job anyway, just in case Henry recognizes him. Whether he gets put back on the beat depends on whether he’s got an understanding inspector.’

  ‘I wish him luck. Now where does all this leave Henry? Have the odds on him shortened or lengthened?’

  ‘No change as far as I’m concerned. He hardly behaved like the grief-stricken widower he claims to be. But that’s balanced by the fact that he was so much an innocent abroad that it’s difficult to think of him fraternizing with the criminal fraternity.’

  Amiss looked at his watch. ‘I’ve got to rush, Jim. Any chance of seeing you this weekend?’

  ‘Possibly. I’ll be working late tonight and all day tomorrow in the hope of having Sunday clear to spend with Ann when she arrives back. We might give you a ring and suggest an early evening drink.’

  ‘Good. See you.’

  ‘Goodbye, Robert.’

  Milton reached out for his in-tray and picked up the file on top. It was labelled ‘Thomas’, and he saw with alarm that Pooley had marked it ‘Urgent’.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Saturday, 26 February

  Sammy Pike bade a loving farewell to his wife and set off on the drive to Surrey. He regretted having to leave her alone again, but he reckoned he should be back within three hours. Sue would keep herself busy in the garden. As he often did, he thought with admiration of how she’d coped over the last couple of years since they found out about Jeannie being a drug addict. Some mothers would have gone to pieces, but not Sue. It was silly really that she’d taken it better than him, what with him being a policeman and everything. But she’d always been stronger. Look how she’d consoled him when their first baby died all those years ago. Poor little Jeannie. Who’d have thought all those dreadful things could happen to her? She always seemed so happy and contented. She’d been too nice, really. Hadn’t realized that there were evil people about. She’d never be without that knowledge again, but it was wonderful the way she was recovering. They’d all been very lucky.

  Pike continued to count his blessings as he drove away from London down the A23. The super for instance. It’d been a real stroke of luck to be assigned to work for him, even if old Romford was a bit of a pain in the neck. He grinned as he thought of his face yesterday. It was amazing how a bloke could deal with crime for twenty-five years and still be capable of shock at something any vicar could take in his stride. Of course Romford had been with Stolen Vehicles for years and there wasn’t much sex there. Pike remembered that last case he’d been involved with in the Regional Crime Squad and tried to imagine how Romford would have coped with it. He shuddered and put it out of his mind.

  He set himself to thinking about this old girl he was going to visit. The super had seemed apologetic about asking him to take on another one. But he quite enjoyed talking to them. He was good at it and he didn’t have any ambitions to take on what he wasn’t fit for. It didn’t sound as if there was a lot in it. She was ninety-five, after all, and she hadn’t said much except that Mrs Thomas had been a nasty piece of work. But young Ellis had got all excited and the super seemed to think there might be something in it. And though the coroner had been certain her death was an accident, you never knew. It was a disgrace that that inquest report hadn’t come in till yesterday. Shocking inefficiency on someone’s part. The super had really let off steam with the inspector responsible. He didn’t often do that.

  He stopped the car to consult his map, drove on and then turned right and sharp left. That must be it just ahead with the gables. He drove up the short drive and parked in front of the house. He was pleased to see there was a pleasant garden with plenty of seats for the old folks. But as he walked through the open front door he felt less happy with the interior. There was no denying that the place had a pokey look to it. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of old food that hung heavily over the hall and rang the hand-bell on the desk. As he waited he looked at the pictures. Must have come with the house, he concluded. No one in their senses would deliberately choose for a place like this paintings so dark you could hardly make them out.

  Hearing footsteps behind him he turned and came face to face with a neat middle-aged woman in a flowered nylon overall. She looked at him enquiringly.

  ‘Detective Sergeant Pike, ma’am, from Scotland Yard.’ She seemed impressed. It amused him how often the mention of the Yard seemed to add a glamour to the person of a nondescript sergeant.

  ‘I’m Mrs Oliveira, sergeant. I’m the matron. Will you come in here for a moment?’

  She led the way into a small sitting room containing a large television set and about twenty easy chairs.

  ‘Please sit down, sergeant. I just want a word with you before you see Mrs Jameson.’

  Pike took the nearest seat and she sat beside him. She lowered her voice. ‘I gather you have come to see her in connection with that awful poisoning case.’

  ‘That’s right, ma’am. She saw someone from the local force the other day and I’ve just come to ask her a few follow-up questions.’

  ‘I just wanted to give you a word of advice, sergeant. I don’t know if you have much experience of old people?’

  ‘A fair bit, ma’am.’

  ‘Well then you probably know how they get little fancies and like to make themselves important.’

  ‘I suppose we all do. From what I’ve seen, I’d say that you’re not much different when you’re old to what you are when you’re young. It’s just that some characteristics get more exaggerated.’

  Mrs Oliveira shot him a look of dislike. Pike was untroubled by it. He didn’t care for her either.

  ‘Much as I’d like to, I haven’t got time to debate this with you. I just thought you should know that you shouldn’t attach too much weight to anything Mrs Jameson says.’

  ‘Do you mean she’s gaga, ma’am?’

  ‘We don’t use words like that here, sergeant. We prefer to call it “wandering a little”.’

  Don’t tell me, thought Pike. I bet they pass over and don’t die.

  She continued, ‘No. She’s got her senses, but she’s inclined to be a trouble-maker. I’m only telling you this for your own sake. She’ll say anything to stir things up.’

  ‘I’m grateful for the warning, ma’am,’ said Pike, in as natural a tone as he could summon up. He got to his feet. ‘Now, if you’d just ask her to come in.’

  Mrs Oliveira was shocked. ‘We don’t allow the residents to have visitors in here. Only in their own rooms. This lounge is for the use of all residents at any time. We can’t have them upset by seeing strangers in it.’

  She rose and began to lead him out of the room. ‘Where are they all at present, ma’am?’ he asked her floral back.

  ‘Asleep. I always make them take a nap between two o’clock and four o’clock. It’s for their own good.’

  As Pike followed her through the hallway and down a narrow dark corridor he looked at his watch and saw that it was just three o’clock. He didn’t take the point up with her. He knew a natural bureaucrat when he saw one.


  She stopped abruptly and flung open a door on the right. ‘Mrs Jameson, dear,’ she cooed. ‘I’ve brought you a visitor. Now don’t keep him long. He’s a busy man, I’m sure.’

  Pike stepped into the little room after her. The old woman sitting ramrod-straight in the button-backed velvet chair by the window looked up at him and nodded. She turned her head towards Mrs Oliveira and said, ‘Dolly, dear. I’m afraid you’re getting very forgetful. You know I like you to knock. Now run away and get us a nice cup of tea.’

  Pike noted that Mrs Oliveira’s hands were clenching and unclenching and her lips were tightly pressed together, as if by a physical effort to restrain the appropriate words from tumbling out. Then without a further word she turned on her heel and left.

  ‘You’ve got to show them who’s boss,’ said Mrs Jameson. ‘Otherwise they’ll take advantage of you. That’s the way I’ve lived and that’s the way I’ll die. Now sit down here opposite me and listen to what I’ve got to tell you about the Thomas family.’

  ***

  Sunday, 27 February

  Milton described a small circle with his glass.

  ‘Of course I’m bearing her age in mind, but Sammy said he believed her, and on someone like that I’d trust his judgement absolutely.’

  Rachel still looked perplexed. ‘All right. Let’s accept for the purposes of the argument that she’s correct. All it seems to reveal is that Bill has been exceptionally long-suffering throughout his adult life.’

  ‘I just find it all very depressing,’ said Amiss gloomily. ‘It was bad enough that he was negative about everything, but at least I thought he took a twisted pleasure in it.’

  ‘There’s no reason to suppose he doesn’t by now,’ said Milton. ‘After all, Mrs Jameson said his bids for freedom were made in his twenties. Presumably he settled to liking a life entirely composed of work and Mother. He doesn’t seem to have changed it much since she died.’

  ‘Unless you count attending the Annual Dinner Dance as a sign of his real desire for the bright lights?’ said Amiss.