Xavier

by Catherine Lievens

  From where he was, he could see Nysys and the guy with the gun watching each other, maybe to be sure no one was going to pull another weapon or try to bite a head off.

  “So, you put yourself in a nice situation, huh?” Jeremy asked with a chuckle.

  “I don’t know about nice. I don’t know anything, actually.”

  “Yeah, this is too new for you, but I can tell you nothing bad happened. You just have to learn to deal with big guys with a soft spot for their mates.”

  Xavier looked at his friend. “What does that mean? It’s not the first time I’ve heard it, but... ”

  “Ever watched documentaries about wolves?”

  Xavier wasn’t sure where Jeremy was going with that, but he nodded. Yeah, not having a boyfriend led to a lot of evenings at home, alone with his TV. Not that he would admit that to Jeremy. “Okay, so you know how wolves find their mate and stay with the same one for the rest of their lives?” Xavier nodded again. “Well, that’s exactly how it goes with shifters, although the way they choose their mate is different, I guess. I can’t actually remember well how it goes with wolves, though.”

  “Wait, you mean Andy and I... you mean he wants to be with me?” Now it was Jeremy’s turn to nod. Xavier looked at him incredulously. Had the man smoked something before coming here? “Me?”

  “Yes, you. Why is it so hard for you to believe?”

  Xavier shook his head. “Can you tell me more about it?”

  “Well, I know how it works with cat shifters, but I don’t think it’s all that different for wolves. Basically every shifter has a mate somewhere out there. They think Fate chooses the couples because they are perfect for each other. Once they find their mate, they claim them, and you basically end up married for life. Oh, and they can’t cheat once they’re mated.” Jeremy’s gaze wandered over to where Denver was standing, talking with gun guy, and the love in Jeremy’s eyes was so much that Xavier felt himself hope, against all odds.

  “Denver is your... mate?”

  “Yeah. It’s something incredible, you know? I would never have thought something like this could exist, could happen to me. I thought I was straight. But I’ll never regret giving Denver a chance.” Jeremy’s eyes turned back to Xavier, a too-knowing spark in them. “Don’t keep Andy away just because you’re scared or you think you don’t deserve this. I’m not saying you have to bare your neck to him and let him claim you right away, but give him a chance.”

  Xavier wanted to say yes, but... “Wait, what do you mean bare your neck? Just how do shifters claim their mates?”

  * * * *

  It didn’t take Andy long to grab the change of clothes he kept in his office, both for these occurrences and for when he was too dirty to walk out of the garage without changing. He couldn’t wait to get back to his mate.

  He’d been surprised when Xavier had put himself between Denver and him, and more than a little scared. He didn’t know what had happened, since Xavier had been cowering in fear before that. It didn’t make sense that Xavier had tried to protect him instead of someone he knew, like Denver, but it was probably the mate bond already at work.

  It had felt damn good to feel Xavier’s hands in his fur, though, and he couldn’t wait to feel it again. He also couldn’t wait to feel the sweet man’s hands on his naked, human skin, but he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. It was obvious Xavier had reservations about the whole shifter thing, and he didn’t even know about mates yet.

  When he stepped out his gaze immediately went to Xavier, as if it was a magnet attracted to its opposite pole. Andy didn’t know how he knew where his mate was, but he did. He was relieved to see that Denver was again in his human form and dressed, and he knew he had to apologize. Not that he had done anything wrong, but still. He had growled at the man’s mate.

  Nick was still there too, although he was keeping his distance from the group. He was leaning against the wall next to the garage door, and he looked perplexed. Andy would have to apologize to him, too. Nick hadn’t known Xavier was Andy’s mate when he’d checked him out.

  All that could wait, though. He wanted, needed to check on Xavier first, especially because when he turned back to the man, he was paler than before, his eyes wider and fear shining in them again. Xavier was sitting in the car and Jeremy was talking to him, but his reaction shouldn’t be fear, not at finding out what mates were. Didn’t humans yearn for a soul mate just like shifters did? Shouldn’t Xavier be happy at finding out he had one? Granted, they didn’t know each other yet, and Andy did scare people off with his appearance, but still...

  “Sorry.”

  Andy pried his gaze away from Xavier to look at Denver. The big man had apologized, surprisingly. “It’s okay. I was the one who growled at your mate, but he just appeared from out of nowhere.”

  Denver chuckled. “You don’t have any Nix in your pack, huh?”

  Andy cocked his head to the side. “I would have to know what a Nix is first, man.”

  Denver pointed toward the pink haired guy who had appeared with Jeremy. “That’s a Nix. They’re paranormal creatures like us, and they have the power to shimmer. That’s how they appeared here.”

  Okay. Andy would have to talk to Kameron about that, although he probably knew that already. He just hadn’t told Andy, but then why should he? Andy had turned down Kameron’s offer to be part of his inner circle. He didn’t want the responsibility, even if this time it would be different than it had been with Erskine. Now anyone could apply to be a part of the Alpha’s inner circle, and the members could be voted out of it. They didn’t have the power the old one had either. Kameron’s inner circle really was a council to help him govern his pack and help the members keep contact with him. It wasn’t easy to keep over fifty people safe and under control and still be available to all the members while being member of the newborn council.

  “Are all Nix... ” Andy waved at Nysys, making Denver chuckle.

  “No, just him. The others are pretty normal.”

  Andy nodded, but he didn’t really care about that right now. He wanted to go to Xavier, but he didn’t know if he should, so he waited for Jeremy to stop talking to his mate. The man patted Xavier’s knee in a reassuring gesture, but it didn’t look as if it was working. Xavier still looked scared, although at least he didn’t look as if he was about to bolt anymore. Not that Andy would let him. He would follow his mate anywhere if Xavier went away.

  Andy winced at the thought. That didn’t sound stalkerish at all. He knew he had to be more careful about these things, to keep the possessiveness he already felt under control, especially since Xavier had just had a bad encounter with a stalker. He just wasn’t sure he could curb his wolf enough to let the man go if that was what he wanted.

  “Go talk to him. He’s a little scared about the fact that you’ll have to bite him to claim him, but I think it would be a good thing for him to get to know you. He has to see that you won’t hurt him.” Jeremy hesitated before going on. “He also has big self-esteem issues. He hasn’t told me anything, but I know him, and I know he thinks he’s not good enough for you. He sees his weight as a big problem.”

  Andy frowned. Why would Xavier think something like that? Sure, he wasn’t as thin as, say, the Nix that had shimmered Jeremy in, but Andy had never liked rail thin men. He liked to have something more than bones to touch, and Xavier was perfect. Andy just had to convince him of it.

  He slowly neared Xavier, making sure to look as harmless as he could and silently cursing himself for trying to ditch his pretty looks. Maybe if he hadn’t decided tattoos and piercings were the perfect thing to do to get rid of his pretty boy looks, maybe Xavier wouldn’t be so scared of him. “Jeremy told you about mates?”

  Xavier looked at him, so many feelings warring in his eyes that Andy couldn’t even begin to identify them. His mate nodded, keeping his gaze on Andy as if scared that Andy would jump him and bite him there and then. Andy was a little offended, but Xavier didn’t
know either shifters or him, so he tried to understand. “He told me you... you have to bite me.”

  Andy so didn’t want to have this conversation with all these other people around, but maybe it would make Xavier feel safer. “It’s true, but I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I know you don’t know me, but we have time.” Andy tried to keep his tone gentle and soothing, and it seemed to work. Xavier relaxed a bit, his body not as tense as before.

  “I... you’re not going to want to bite me now?” Andy wasn’t sure he had really seen the flash of regret in his mate’s eyes as he had asked the question, so he pushed the thought aside.

  “I admit that my wolf would like nothing more than doing just that, but I can see you need time to get used to shifters, and to me. I want you to trust me before mating with you.”

  Xavier nodded. Andy wanted him to feel calm around him, but he also wanted his mate to get used to him. Shifters in general were really touchy-feely, especially with people they cared about. He slowly reached up, giving Xavier the time to move away from him if he wanted to, but the man didn’t move. His eyes widened a bit and his mouth opened, but he stayed right where he was, allowing Andy to cup his cheek. Andy stroked the soft skin of Xavier’s cheekbone with his thumb, relishing the sensation, the warmth.

  Andy’s heart missed a beat when his mate nuzzled his cheek into his hand, the small sign of acceptance soothing his wolf better than words. God, how he wanted to drag Xavier into his arms, to hug him and reassure him everything would be okay. But it was too soon, so Andy slowly let his hand fall. “Kameron had arranged for you to stay with me, since I’m basically going to be your guide in the pack and your bodyguard, but if it makes you uncomfortable after discovering what you are to me, I can make a few calls and find you another place to live for now.”

  “No, I-I’ll stay with you. We should get to know each other, right?” Xavier’s small smile was sweet and unexpected. “What better way than to live together for a while?”

  Andy nodded, trying to look calm when inside his wolf was howling at the idea of having their mate in their den. “Okay, then. Why don’t we go home?”

  Chapter Three

  The mate thing was still running through Xavier’s mind even hours after Jeremy had told him about it. It was all he could think about, really.

  After Andy had come to talk to him, they’d said goodbye to Jeremy, Denver and Nysys. Andy had talked a bit with gun guy, who Xavier had discovered was Nick, Andy’s best friend. He hadn’t heard what they were saying and it wasn’t anything that concerned him, but he was curious.

  He had more than enough to think about for himself, though. Andy had brought him home and fed him, but Xavier couldn’t actually remember much about what he had eaten or the house. Too many things to think about.

  So now he was lying in the dark in Andy’s guest room, unable to sleep. He couldn’t get past the fact that Andy had to bite him. Well, he had to bite him if he wanted to claim Xavier, but Xavier knew that wouldn’t happen, because, come on, Andy was hot, and he was... him.

  Andy could have anyone, and he had been stuck with Xavier, although from what Jeremy had said it was not as if Andy had to claim Xavier, but still, he probably wanted to.

  Xavier turned on his side and sighed. Apparently, for some reason he couldn’t even start to understand, he was Andy’s one and only. It should have made him deliriously happy, but he didn’t like the fact that Andy had to accept him. It felt as if they were both forced to be with each other.

  Maybe he should just go away. It wasn’t like Andrew’s stalker would get to him again anyway, not now that he was after Soren. Xavier could go back to Whitedell and just go back to his old life, forgetting everything about shifters and mates. That way Andy would be able to choose someone who would be good for him.

  The only problem was that he had promised Kameron he would help him with the accounts, and he had taken two weeks off work to do it. Xavier didn’t like not keeping the promises he made, and this one had been given to someone who was helping him, so it was even more important for him to keep it.

  He probably could ask Kameron to find him another place to sleep. The pack had more than fifty members—there ought to be someone who could take him in. Yeah, that was good. He was going to do that as soon as he met Kameron, and then he could forget everything about biting and mating. It would be better for everyone. He just had to convince his heart of that.

  Xavier avoided looking at Andy even while they were sitting together eating breakfast. He just wanted to get to Kameron and get done with this.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine,” he answered to his mug.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  The mug was nice. It was black, and—

  “Xavier?” A hand cupped his cheek and forced him to look up, something he really didn’t want to do. He was scared Andy would take one look at him and understand what he was planning to do. “What’s wrong? You haven’t looked at me once since we woke up.”

  Xavier shrugged. “Nothing.”

  The fingers on his jaw tightened a bit, not enough to hurt him, but enough to let him now that Andy knew he was lying. The man didn’t let him go, not even as he got up from his chair and kneeled next to Xavier, turning his chair with his other hand as if Xavier didn’t weight a hundred and ninety pounds.

  Then the man kissed him. It was a light kiss, just a brush of their lips, a quick touch, but it made Xavier’s heart beat faster and it made him long for more, so much more. “I can’t stay here anymore,” he blurted out, and he felt so bad when Andy went rigid, his palm leaving Xavier’s face, taking its warmth with it.

  “Why? Did I do something to scare you? I’m sorry I kissed you, and I won’t do it again, if that’s what you want.”

  “No, I... I know Jeremy said that you’ll get only one mate, but I can’t be with you. I-I guess you can still find someone else, right?”

  Andy seemed more perplexed and—hurt?—than angry. “Why? Do you still love your ex?”

  “No.”

  “Then why?”

  God, the look in Andy’s eyes. It made Xavier want to forget everything and jump into the man’s arms to reassure him that he wanted him.

  “Well, look at you,” Xavier waved at Andy’s delectable body. “And look at me.”

  “I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “You could have anyone. Why should you settle for me? I’m boring and ordinary, and I’m fat.” The last part of the sentence was whispered, but it seemed that Andy heard it anyway. He scowled at Xavier.

  “What, you think that because I’m pretty, I’m vain? That I’ll only want someone that’s beautiful and not care about their personality and their intelligence?” He didn’t wait for an answer. Andy got up and stomped out of the room, leaving Xavier alone. Shit, that was not what he’d meant! He rose to go after the man, but he heard a door slam shut, so he just sat back down.

  This was what he had wanted, right? To push Andy away, to make sure he could choose instead of having to follow his nose or whatever it was that told him Xavier was his mate. He just hadn’t wanted to hurt Andy while doing it. Xavier had just wanted to show him how he could have someone much better than him.

  Incapable of staying put, he got up again and gathered the dirty dishes before putting them in the sink and washing them. Once that was done he cleaned the table and the chairs, but Andy still hadn’t come back. He was seriously thinking about cleaning the windows when he heard a door open and steps coming his way.

  “Kameron is waiting,” Andy said from the hallway before turning and walking to the door. Xavier hurried behind him since it didn’t seem the man would stop and wait for him. Andy was already in the running car, his hands on the wheel and his eyes looking out of the windshield when Xavier scrambled into the passenger’s seat. Andy started driving as soon as he had his door closed, so Xavier hurriedly put his seatbelt on and gathered his courage.


  “I... I didn’t mean that you’re stupid, or vain, well, I think the exact opposite is true, really. You’re so gorgeous, and I’m sure you’re intelligent as hell, although I don’t know you well enough to be sure of that yet. Shit, I meant, I know you’re smart, because I’m sure Kameron wouldn’t have chosen you to take care of me if you weren’t, you know... ” Xavier took a deep breath and peeked sideways. Andy did seem a little less tense, but he still looked angry. “What I meant was, I’m normal. I’m a boring, plain looking man, probably not that smart, while you’re so much better. You could have anyone you want, so why should you settle for me?”

  He peeked again, and this time his gaze locked on forest-green eyes so deep he could probably get lost in them.

  “You really mean that, don’t you? That you’re nothing special?”

  Xavier nodded. The man should have seen it with his own eyes. “Jeremy told me a bit about how mating works, and I know you could want me only because of the mate bond, or pull, or whatever. It’s forcing you into wanting me even if you wouldn’t normally.”

  The car suddenly veered and Xavier’s hand shot to the door’s handle. He looked at Andy, trying to see if there was something wrong, but all he could see was that the man was moving the car to the side of the road and stopping it before unbuckling his seat belt and turn toward him. “You think you know me that well, Xavier?”

  “Well, I-I don’t, bu-but—”

  “You don’t know anything about me, or even about shifters, so you shouldn’t presume anything about the bond between mates or what I want.” Andy sighed and reached for Xavier’s cheek. “The mating pull isn’t something that forces you to want someone.” Andy’s tone was softer. “The bond is only a pull you feel toward someone, but you can ignore it if you want. I could walk away from you without too many problems, but I don’t want to. I don’t know who convinced you that you’re average, but you’re not.”