Redwood Violet

by Robin Mahle

  “Thanks, Sam. I’m sorry I haven’t called you since you got back from your honeymoon. I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

  “Don’t worry about it. You guys are busy with work; I know that. And we only just got back a few days ago anyway.”

  “That’s not what I meant exactly. It’s just, well, I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping, and by a lot, I mean, for the past few months. I didn’t say anything to you at the wedding because I didn’t want you to worry. So, I thought it best to just to see how it would play out. But, it’s been going on for a while now.”

  “Okay, now you’ve got me worried,” Sam said.

  “I keep having this, well, pretty disturbing dream. Disturbing enough to keep me from falling back to sleep on most nights. So, Spencer and I agreed that I should talk to someone. I finally called and scheduled an appointment with a therapist for this week.”

  “Oh, Katie, I wish you would have said something. You know you can tell me anything, doesn’t matter if it was my wedding day or not; you know that.”

  “I know. I should have told you and I’m sorry. But, please understand that it was only because you had enough on your plate. I suppose in the end, it’s only some trouble sleeping; nothing that can’t be managed, I’m sure.” Katie nervously pulled apart several paperclips and lined them on her desk as she spoke.

  “Well, I think that’s the right thing for you; therapy, I mean. You’re probably stressing yourself out even more because you’re not getting enough sleep either.”

  “I’m sure you’re right. You know, on the flight back after your wedding, I started doing some research on hypnotherapy.”

  “Okay.” Sam sounded protectively cautious.

  “I was thinking along the lines of relaxation hypnosis. The kind they use to help treat smokers, people who are afraid to fly…stuff like that.”

  “Oh, well, that seems like it might be useful. Maybe help you with the flying thing, too. What did your doctor say?”

  “She thinks we should meet first so she can determine the best course of treatment.”

  “Sounds like you may have found yourself a good doctor. I know how you are, Kate. There’s nothing wrong with being proactive, but I’m glad the doctor’s taking charge here. She is the trained professional.”

  “I know. I know. So, listen, let me know when you can fly down to help me find a dress. We’ve got time, so no rush, but I would like to start looking in the next couple months. I mean, it’s only March, so I’ve got 9 months to plan this thing; although, it would have been eleven months if Spencer had his way. He wanted to get married on Valentine’s Day.”

  “Ouch, really? That’s kinda cliché, isn’t it?”

  “That’s what I said, but maybe it’s just us. Maybe we’re too cynical. Lots of people get married on Valentine’s Day.”

  “I guess. I’ll let you know when I’ve got a free weekend. Jarrod’s been busy at work, but things have slowed a bit for me. Not much call for outsourced marketing firms. Most companies have brought their advertising in-house…it’s cheaper.”

  “I hear ya. We haven’t raised nearly as much money as we did last year. Damn economy. Okay, you let me know and I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Hey, Katie.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Let me know how it goes at the doctor, okay?”

  “Of course I will. Bye.”

  Katie knew the next call would have to be to her mother. That would have to wait until she got home. It was not a conversation to be had at work. She would call while Spencer was out shopping for groceries tonight.

  He was the cook of the house and always got irritated when she came home with the wrong type of steak or couldn’t find some spice he wanted. So, he decided to handle the shopping. It didn’t bother Katie one bit. She was the organizer and the planner. It was what made her good at her job, and what kept her sane during his internship.

  She tried to imagine herself being married, living in a big house, and having a couple of kids running around and she wondered what would become of her career. Quitting was not an option; she loved her job too much. However, with Spencer becoming a lawyer, it was not like he was going to be around much and someone would have to take care of the kids.

  Katie began to wonder if he would end up like her father; working all the time. No, she thought. He was nothing like her father. He was loving and attentive and actually cared about what was going on in her life. Maybe it was too early to think about such things. They were both young and children could wait.

  * * *

  She arrived home to a quiet apartment. It suddenly became clear to her that she had never lived alone her entire adult life. Was the thought of marriage bringing that fact to light? The comprehension that she would never know what it was like to be truly on her own? Strange how one could take stock of one’s life in moments of change and uncertainty.

  Still, she didn’t fear the unknown, at least where Spencer was concerned. The only fear she had right now was speaking to her parents. How many months had it been?

  “Hello, Mom?”

  “Hi, Katie, sweetheart. How are you? Wasn’t Sam’s wedding wonderful? Did she get the gift we sent her?” Her mother spoke as if it had only been yesterday since their last conversation.

  “I don’t know, Mom, but I’m sure she did. Listen, I’m really sorry Spencer and I didn’t get a chance to come and talk to you and Dad after the wedding. You know how it is being in the wedding party; lots of responsibilities to handle.”

  “Oh, not to worry,” Deborah interrupted. “Your dad and I understand.”

  Her mother’s knack for laying guilt was a talent she had conveyed when Katie was at a young age. She just assumed it came with the territory, being an only child.

  “The reason I called is that I have some news.” Katie paused as she expected another interruption, but none came. “First of all, Spencer passed the bar exam.” Her mother gasped with excitement. “And second, we’re getting married.”

  “Oh, Kate! That is wonderful news. Congratulations, sweetheart!”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Katie felt reassured somehow at her mother’s approval.

  “When’s the wedding?” Deborah asked.

  “December 15th. It’s the day we met.”

  “Well, that is fantastic. Will you be coming for a visit soon so we can congratulate our soon-to-be son-in-law?”

  “Yeah, of course; I’ll take a look at our schedules. We’re hoping to find out if Spencer will be offered a job soon. I suppose after that we should be able to spend a few days with you.”

  “Wonderful! Well, honey, I have to run. I’ve got to get dinner ready for your father, but please let me know so I can prepare the house for guests! Love you, sweetheart, bye!”

  Katie hung up the phone, pleased the conversation wasn’t any longer than necessary.

  3

  THE DAY OF THE appointment had arrived and Katie was finishing work a little early, ensuring she would be on time to see Dr. Reyes. She was ready to find out what was going on with her because the restless nights were taking their toll. The desire to see an end to the nightmares and get on with her wedding plans and her life with Spencer were all that mattered.

  “You’re taking off?” Jennifer noticed the time as she passed Katie in the hall.

  “Yeah, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.”

  “Oh, are you feeling okay?”

  The girl always asked a lot of questions, which normally didn’t bother Katie, but today wasn’t one of those days. “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jen. Night.”

  * * *

  Katie arrived at the doctor’s office on the outskirts of downtown. The surrounding hills made for a beautiful view from the four-story building. She walked through the courtyard towards the elevators. Dr. Reyes’ office was on the third floor. The doors parted and she walked in to the sound of Billy Joel on the Muzak system. Pressing the third floor button, Katie could feel her palms growing clammy. There was reason
to feel anxious. Never in her life had she been to a therapist and was unsure of what to expect. Maybe just a prescription for sleeping pills would do the trick. She was second-guessing her decision.

  Inside, she expected to see a receptionist, but there was none. In fact, the lobby looked more like a living room than a doctor’s office. Two doors at the back that presumably led to Dr. Reyes’ office were marked “entrance” and another marked “exit.” There was even a television mounted on a wall broadcasting a news channel. Her nerves began to calm in the homey environment, and she assumed that was the intention of the design. A moment later, Dr. Reyes opened the door labeled “entrance.”

  “Hi, Katie, come on in.” Her pleasant tone made Katie feel even more at ease.

  “Take a seat.” Dr. Reyes motioned Katie to the small two-seat couch that was kitty-corner to a chair where she took her seat.

  Hands still slightly clammy, she avoided greeting the doctor with a handshake. Instead, she nodded and sat down on the couch, eagerly anticipating the first question.

  “So, Katie; you mentioned you’ve been having difficulty sleeping through the night.”

  There it was; the first question. “Yeah, I guess. This dream I keep having has been disrupting my sleep. Not every night, but enough so that it’s starting to annoy me a little. Not to mention my fiancé.” This was a slight understatement.

  “I see. So you’re engaged?”

  Katie smiled. “Yes, recently, just this week as a matter of fact.”

  “Oh, congratulations. And you’ve been with him for a while?”

  “Yes, about seven years. We met in college and moved in together after graduation. He has actually just passed the bar exam.”

  “Sounds like life is going well for you, except for the occasional restless night. Have you been overly stressed at work?”

  “No, not really; no more than usual, I’d say. This has been going on for more than a few months now. I guess it’s been about three, actually.” Katie watched as Dr. Reyes took notes. She tried to peer over the edge of the notepad to catch a glimpse at what she’d written, but couldn’t quite see.

  “Anything happen around that time you think may have brought about these dreams? Any work issues or home issues you were worried about?”

  Katie focused on what had been going on three months ago, but couldn’t think of anything that would cause so much stress as to bring on the dreams. “Not really. I mean, my friend asked me to be her maid of honor, and I suppose that could have added some pressure. Although I didn’t really feel like it had.”

  “And you’re close with this friend?” Dr. Reyes asked.

  “She’s my best friend. We grew up together and went off to college together. She moved back home—well, near home—after that.”

  “So, you don’t think her getting married caused any stress for you? Especially since she asked you to be her maid of honor?”

  “I hadn’t really thought of it that way, I guess. I thought of it more as an honor, not an obligation.” Katie was trying to figure out where the doctor was going with this line of questioning. She knew none of this had anything to do with Sam.

  “Dr. Reyes. I have to say that I don’t think I can attribute one particular event as to why I’m having these dreams. I’m so frustrated and confused that I don’t know where to turn. I just don’t want to experience this anymore. It’s become so real and vivid that sometimes I’m afraid to even fall asleep.”

  “Okay then, let’s talk about this dream. Can you tell me what it’s about?”

  Katie went on to describe the nightmarish dream and its frequent occurrence. When she was finished, Dr. Reyes started writing more notes. The room was silent, save for the second hand on a clock, ticking away the very expensive hour she was allotted. She began to wonder if any of this was worth it. Just give me some sleeping pills.

  A moment later, Dr. Reyes looked away from her notepad. “Katie, you inquired on the phone about hypnotherapy.”

  Was this a question or a statement? She wasn’t sure, but took a stab at an answer anyway. “Yes. I asked about hypnosis for relaxation.”

  “I have used hypnotherapy in the past, on occasion. But the majority of treatments were for smokers and people who had a fear of flying. They were successful, and I think maybe, based on what you’ve told me today, that a similar treatment may work for you. Now, I can just prescribe you some sleeping pills,”

  Had she read Katie’s mind?

  “And maybe over time, whatever is preventing you from a good night’s rest will pass. Or, we can try a relaxation technique. My hope is that we will be able to free your mind of whatever stressful thoughts may be bringing out the recurring dream.

  “Just know that sometimes our bodies are trying to tell us something. Whether we are uncomfortable in a situation at work or at home or whatever it might be. Our subconscious mind can create strange and unusual images based on a conglomerate of ideas and emotions.”

  “I’d like to try the hypnosis, Dr. Reyes. Whatever this is, I want to get to the bottom of it so that I can focus on my future.” This seemed a better way to go than the pills and she hoped it would be the right course of action.

  “Okay then. Let’s get you in here again, say next week, at the same time, if that works and we’ll get started.”

  Katie stood up and felt confident this course of treatment would be the solution. “Thank you, Dr. Reyes. You’ve been very helpful. I’ll see you next week.”

  “Good night, Katie.”

  * * *

  The fundraiser Katie had been organizing for the past few weeks had finally arrived. Days after her initial visit with Dr. Reyes and Katie was feeling confident this would all blow over very soon.

  The “Hope for Children” charity event sponsored by the Foundation was the last one of the season. Katie enjoyed her work raising funds, but was ready to get back to researching cases and working with the attorneys. They gave her purpose, although, without funds, there would be no cases to assist.

  Spencer led her into the ballroom. The theme was primary colors and the room was filled with hand-drawn pictures that children from all over the country made for the event.

  “This is the last one for a while, Spencer, so you’d better enjoy the open bar.”

  “Yes, ma’am; I’ll be back with a red wine for the lady.”

  Katie spotted her boss, Richard, and headed towards him. She admired him very much and appreciated the opportunities he had given her. “Hi, Richard; you look very handsome.”

  “Well, thank you, Kate, so do you. That’s a lovely gown. And where is your handsome—fiancé, now, I hear?”

  “You are not misinformed. We are engaged. He asked me a couple of weeks ago after he passed the bar.”

  “That is wonderful news. So he’s officially an attorney now. Has he received any offers yet? You know, I could put in a good word for him with Mr. Johnston. I hear they’re looking for fresh talent.”

  “That would be fantastic, Richard, thanks for the offer. Although he is still hoping for an offer from the firm that he’s at now. He’s been there on a two year internship.”

  “Well, they’d be fools not to hire him. You let me know if you’d like me to make that call, Kate. I mean it.”

  Spencer approached the two of them with drinks in hand. “Good evening, Richard, how are you?”

  “Doing well, Spencer, thank you. I hear you’ve passed the bar and asked our lovely Ms. Reid to marry you?”

  “I did and fortunately for me, she said ‘yes.’

  “Congratulations. Well, I’d better make the rounds. We don’t want our supporters feeling neglected. You both have a wonderful night if I don’t see you before you go.”

  Katie took the glass of wine from Spencer. “Thanks, honey. Richard said he’d put in a good word for you with one of the partners from the firm we use if you don’t get an offer from Schwartz.”

  “Wow, that’s generous of him. Hopefully, I’ll know by next week. I waited almost five mo
nths for my exam results and now I’ve got to wait for a job offer. Can’t I just practice law?”

  “I know it’s frustrating. It’ll work out, I promise.” Katie leaned in for a quick kiss.

  “Your appointment is Thursday, right? Did you want me to take you? Will you be able to drive?”

  Katie glanced around to be sure no one overheard their conversation. No one at work knew about it nor did she want them to. “We can talk about it later; too many ears around here. Let’s just eat dinner then try to bug out of here, okay?”

  “Sure, but I thought you liked these things?” Spencer asked.

  “I do, but I guess I’m just not really in the mood for it tonight.” Katie surveyed the room in search of their table when a glint of light caught her eye. A woman whom she did not know stood near the bar and it came from her. The woman turned slightly and there it was again; a reflection off an overhead light. It appeared, at that distance, to be bouncing off the pendant necklace resting low on her chest. Delicate, but with a design in which light seemed to dance around it. Katie thought it strange that something so ordinary had captured her attention. She glanced down at Spencer, who had taken a seat and was trying to get her to do the same. Dinner was being served.

  * * *

  It wasn’t until Thursday arrived that Katie realized how quickly time was flying by now that she was busy planning her own wedding.

  She hadn’t been troubled by the dream for the past few days and felt well rested. She wondered if maybe this phase was passing and thought about canceling her appointment with Dr. Reyes. But what harm could it do? It was intended to relieve her mind of stress. Who couldn’t use that?

  “Hey, honey.” Katie called from the car as she was pulling out of the parking lot of her office. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving for the doctor. Why don’t I give you a call when it’s over so you know I’m all right?”

  Spencer was silent on the other end for a moment. “Are you sure? Because I don’t mind going with you. I’d really like to be there for you.”