Coming Undone

by Stallings, Staci

  “Like what?”

  It was always hard to see these traps before she was in one. She glanced over at him. How far could she trust him? “Well, like with guys and dating. We’ve had a lot of conversations about why He wasn’t sending my knight in shining armor and what was taking Him so long.”

  “Knight in shining armor, huh? Wow. No pressure there.”

  She laughed. “It’s a girl thing. We hear about the prince that’s going to come and sweep us off our feet, and we want it to be like that. What I’ve had to learn is to let God be my prince… even though sometimes that worked better than others.”

  “You’ve waited a long time, huh?”

  The sigh was sad and soft. “Yeah. I kept wondering what was so wrong with me, you know? And I’d ask God that. ‘God, what’s wrong with me? Why is this happening for everybody else but not for me?’” Her smile was tight. “That’s pathetic.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just real.”

  “It’s weird though even though Mr. Magic Wonderful didn’t show up, I always knew he would.” Her gaze was down on her lap, but then it slid over to him. “I always believed God would answer my prayers and send me someone I could love and maybe even someone who could love me.”

  Ben had never been given a more delicate, fragile responsibility in his life. Just the look in her eyes, that vulnerability and hope, made him see with his heart as much as with his eyes. He vowed to never let her down, but he knew without God, he was sure to do just that. Reaching across the seat, he took her hand, liking how soft and small it was in his. “Maybe God just had to get the prince’s attention first.”

  She smiled. “Maybe so.”

  The whole day was wonderful, not because it was stress-free but because she was there every step of the way. Ben had never in his life felt this way with anyone else. He could count on her. She didn’t push. She didn’t demand or force or even manipulate. She was just there, with him, no matter what.

  When he took her back to her apartment after the sun had gone and the stars were out, he still didn’t want the day to end. It had all gone so fast, and suddenly he knew the danger of going slowly. Still, she had asked, and he wanted to respect her wishes. However, at her door slowly was one skip away from his grasp. Before she had the chance to get to her door, he arrested her movement and pulled her into his arms.

  “Kathryn.” His voice was husky because he felt the meld of her body on his. “I hope you don’t mind, but there’s something I’ve been wanting to do all day.”

  “Oh, yeah?” She looked up at him. “What’s that?”

  “This.” Slowly because she had asked for it to be, he lowered his lips until they brushed hers. It was a good thing he was holding her because she relaxed with one breath. Far from relaxing, his whole body bolted to attention. He let his lips find hers again, and then he was spinning on the feel of her and how she breathed and how she moved.

  “Ho… hold up,” she finally breathed, backing up. “Um…”

  “I know,” he said, pulling her back into his embrace. “Slowly.”

  Not that that was going to be easy.

  It was probably a good thing that Misty was gone. Kathryn had no idea what she would even tell her best friend. Life had spun around so very quickly it was hard to hang on. All day Monday she floated through life. She even managed a short trip to the chapel to say thanks. Not that they were a done deal, but it was nice to think they might be someday.

  He called Monday night to see how she was doing, and they talked for nearly two hours—about the day, about themselves, about life. Kathryn still sensed that he was less than sure about how to be in a real relationship; however, she couldn’t really blame him. She wasn’t wholly sure how to do any of it either. But as long as she didn’t think about that, it was easy. It was easy to be with him, to talk, to just be. She couldn’t remember ever having the opportunity to just be with anyone before. It was freeing and exciting and exhilarating. All she wanted was to be with him in that safe, wonderful place.

  By Tuesday evening, she was headed home, looking forward to his call. If things went well, maybe he would even ask her out for Friday. She thought about calling her mom or Casey to find out how they were as she turned near a strip mall with cafes and shops she had never actually been in. That was odd because she’d lived in her apartment for years and had never had occasion to stop there on the way home. Maybe they could stop in sometime. Maybe on their first date, or their second. They could hold hands and just explore all of life that she had missed until now.

  The light in front of her changed to green, and she glanced at the car turning right next to her as she slipped into the intersection. In the next second she heard the brakes and braced though she didn’t even really think about it. Life slid into slow motion as she saw the blur of the car to her left coming at her. It seemed to not even be moving, but somehow she knew it was. She slammed on the brakes, praying the impact wouldn’t send her careening into the other car.

  Like bomb explosions, sounds erupted around her. Metal, horns, brakes. She was slammed one way against the seatbelt and met the air bag coming the other way. It jolted all thought from her. When the motion stopped, she could tell she was still breathing. That was all.

  Ben had put off calling her all day, not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t want to be a pest. She had work to do and a life. So when he got home, he called Kelly instead. They needed to get together for another poker night. That was as good an excuse as any.

  “Hey, dude, what’s up?” Kelly asked.

  “Well, I just wanted to let you to know I took your advice.”

  “There’s a switch.” Kelly paused a moment. “Oh, wait a minute. This wouldn’t have to do with a certain lady friend and actually making a move you’ve wanted to make for weeks now, would it?”

  Ben couldn’t stop the smile. He relaxed back onto the couch. “It could.”

  “Y-es! I knew it. You called her, and…”

  “And we went out to church on Sunday.”

  “To church? Wow. This is serious.”

  “She was going. I just tagged along.” But Ben couldn’t help but think he’d enjoyed it more than that. “And then we went to Dad’s and sorted some more stuff.”

  “All right. All right. This is definite progress. So you’re going out this weekend, right?”

  “Thinking about it. Thinking about it. I just don’t want to push her, you know. I’m not interested in renting with this one.” The admission yanked up excitement he hadn’t expected.

  “Awesome.”

  “Don’t move, honey. It’s best if you don’t move.” The face swam somewhere above her.

  “My… car?”

  “Oh, darling. I think that’s the least of your worries right now. Just lay still. The ambulance should be here any minute. Would you like me to call somebody for you?”

  “My phone?” She turned and tried to find it in the darkness of the passenger seat that hovered and swam before her, but everything was a mass of haze and blurs.

  “No, honey. Don’t go doing that right now. Just lay still as you can. Here comes the ambulance. Just sit tight. They’ll have you out of there in no time.”

  “Well, listen. I’d better go,” Ben said to Kelly. “But if you don’t mind, say a few prayers for us. Okay?”

  “Prayers? Man, she got to you quick.”

  “Kell…”

  “No, dude. I get it. It’s cool. I’ll say some prayers.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “No problem.”

  “You got very lucky, Miss,” the doctor was saying. The previous hour or so had been a maze of lights and sounds with no connection to anything solid. “Some stitches, a nice headache, and a badly sprained wrist after all of that is pretty minor.”

  The stitches were the least of the issue. She could hardly think straight, and everything was blurry—not because it was but because her head hurt so badly. Her whole right arm hurt besides, and she couldn’t quite
understand why.

  “We could keep you overnight if you want, but nothing in any of the tests indicates you got much more than a slight concussion.”

  It was strange how she could follow what he was saying even though she could hardly decide if she was even still breathing. “My car? What happened to my car?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think that will be much help. They had it towed,” the policeman who was still standing near the bed waiting to get her statement said. “It was basically totaled.”

  “Not that you should be driving anyway,” the doctor added. “Not for a few days anyway. These meds I prescribed are serious stuff. No driving. No operating heavy machinery…”

  She would have laughed if she could have.

  “I can call you a cab after we’re finished,” the policeman offered, and Kathryn thought she should probably thank him, but that got lost in everything else.

  “Or we could call someone to come pick you up,” the nurse said as she finished with the stiff bandage on Kathryn’s wrist.

  “You’re going to need to get this wrist looked at by a specialist,” the doctor said, “just to confirm there isn’t a break we missed.”

  Like a fun house full of mirrors and multi-colors, Kathryn thought through who she could even have them call. Misty was gone. Her mom was at least two hours away. The thought of calling Ben flitted across her mind, but she didn’t want to bother him. He probably couldn’t come anyway. Finally she looked around at all of them. “I guess I’ll need a cab.”

  “Okay,” the officer said. “But first I need to ask you a few questions if you’re up to it.”

  “Okay.”

  It was the third call Ben had placed to her phone in twenty minutes, and she hadn’t answered a single one. That wasn’t like her. Worry hit him as he hit the off button and frowned. Where was she? He glanced at the clock and frowned deeper. She should be home by now. It was too bad he didn’t know a number for her family. He was going to have to ask that question. They weren’t into texting, but he tried that anyway. Still nothing. He waited another couple of minutes and tried calling again, but it went to the voicemail after four rings. None of this was making any sense. She always carried her phone with her. Always. Realizing he was probably being silly, he pitched the thing to the counter.

  In the kitchen, he pulled out some take-out from the day before and smelled it. It didn’t smell deadly, so he threw it in the microwave just as his phone buzzed. Leaving the food, he raced for it, and a smile came to his face when he saw the Caller ID. “Well, hello, there, sweetheart. How was your day?”

  “Um, I don’t know who this is, but I saw you had called. I thought you might be someone who knows the lady in the wreck.”

  He came up straight, his hand on his waist, his heart hammering to life. “Wreck? What wreck?”

  “Yeah, it happened awhile ago. They took her in the ambulance…”

  “Ambulance? Kathryn was in a wreck and they took her in an ambulance?” This was getting worse. Without another thought, he was racing through the apartment, grabbing his coat and keys on the way out the door. “Where did they take her?”

  “Um, I don’t know for sure. Probably St. Luke’s. We’re not too far from there.”

  “And you have her phone? How did you get her phone?”

  “It was in the car. She kept trying to find it after the wreck. When they were cleaning everything up, one of the firemen came up with it. He said it was just ringing, so I hit redial.”

  At his car, Ben jumped in. “How was she? How was Kathryn?”

  “Woozy. Kind of out of it. The crash fired off the airbags. She was in and out of consciousness when they took her.”

  He peeled out of the drive and into traffic. “And who is this?”

  “Corretta Daniels. I saw the whole thing. That other car was coming mighty fast through the intersection. I don’t think she ever even saw them.”

  Turning at the first light, Ben sped through the traffic, changing lanes and flooring it on the straightaways. “Where are you? How can we get Kathryn’s phone back?”

  Ms. Daniels gave him some information for the fire station where Kathryn’s things would be, and he tried to think straight, remember, and drive.

  “I really hope she’s all right. She seemed like such a nice lady.”

  “Yeah, yeah, she is.” Ben hit the gas again. Wherever she was, he had to get to her. Now.

  “And you didn’t see the other car approaching?” the policeman asked again.

  Just staying upright on the little chair, Kathryn fought to remember through the haze that clouded her brain. “No. Not until I heard the brakes. But the light was green. I never thought to look…”

  Commotion from down the hallway pulled her attention that direction. She turned her head before she realized how much that would hurt. She squeezed her eyes closed and fought to breathe through the nausea. When she managed to open her eyes again, like some vision she had dreamed, Ben was running toward her. In the next second he was on his knees in front of her.

  “Kat? Kathryn?” His hand came up and brushed her face. “Oh, my God. What happened? Are you okay?” Fear crowded across his face just before he gathered her into his arms, and truth be told, it was the first time she had taken a good, solid breath since she’d heard the brakes. Relaxing felt good. She might just go to sleep right here. He backed up and put his hands on her again as if he thought she might disappear altogether. “What in the world happened? Why didn’t you call me?”

  “Ben? How did you…”

  “They found your phone. They called the redial and got me. Why didn’t you call me? I was completely freaking out.”

  “She was very lucky,” the officer said. “Two more feet, and he would’ve been right in her door.”

  Ben crumpled forward into her with that news. “Oh, thank God. Thank God you’re all right. I knew something was wrong when you didn’t answer. I knew it.” Even when he let her go to slip up into the chair next to her, he really didn’t let go. His arm was securely around her as he turned to the officer. “Can I take her home now? How much longer does she have to stay?”

  “I think we’re about done here.” The officer checked his notes. “I’m sure someone will be in touch with you in the next couple of days. If you’ll just sign this statement.”

  With the world swimming in front of her, Kathryn reached over and got her name to come out of her brain. But it was a struggle. The headache was coming in waves now, yanking her down into pain she couldn’t fight off.

  “Good luck, Miss Walker.” The officer stood from his chair. “You take care of her, you hear?”

  “Oh, uh, yes, sir. I will.”

  When the officer was gone, Ben looked at her, his eyes wild with worry and fear.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know.” Tired attacked her with a vengeance. “I was driving home, and I went through this light, and…” The fear and terror began to surface. Tears punched into her eyes when she realized what could have happened. With no more than that, she was in his arms.

  He held her there, stroking her hair, and breathing softly. “Shhh. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

  “I was so scared.”

  He backed up only slightly. “Why didn’t you call me? They would have called me.”

  She felt the absurdity of the statement. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

  “Bother me?” The words knifed through Ben like a single-edged sword with a dull tip. “You didn’t want to bother me? Kathryn…”

  “I knew you would just be getting home from work. I didn’t want to be a burden.”

  “A burden?” This wasn’t getting any better, but he also knew she wasn’t in her right mind. Besides fighting wasn’t going to help anything. “We can talk about this later. For now, we need to get you home. Did they discharge you?”

  “Yeah, a little bit ago.”

  “Okay. Then let me get my car so you don’t have to walk so far. I’ll be right back.�
� He stood and held out his hands as if she might in fact fall to the floor when he let her go. That looked like a real possibility. “Don’t move.” And he raced back out into the nightfall beyond.

  Kathryn tried to maintain some semblance of sanity when he had gone. At least she wouldn’t have to ride home in a taxi. That was something. Those things scared her when she was alive and alert. Other people in the waiting area looked her way, but she kept her head down. That wasn’t hard because it was pounding. They had given her some pain killers and a prescription for more. She wondered at that moment how she would manage to get them. In fact, she wasn’t sure how she would manage anything with the headache and no car to speak of.

  “Okay. The car’s waiting.” He was back. How he was back so fast, she didn’t know. In fact, she didn’t remember how he had gotten there in the first place.

  “Oh, okay.” It was a struggle to stand, and when she did, the whole world shifted one way and then the other. Her hand shot out for something to keep her upright.

  “Whoa. Take it easy there.” He was right there then, holding her up. Slowly they made their way through the lobby and out the door.

  It was dark. That was weird. It wasn’t dark when she was in her car. How much time had passed anyway? At the curb, he helped her in and reached across her to click her seatbelt in place. Ache hit her like a truck. Everything ached—every muscle, every bone. Her wrist was throbbing. She felt like she’d been through a meat grinder.

  “Hang on. We’ll be home in no time.”

  For some reason when he had said home, she had assumed he meant her home. So when she awoke to him saying they were home, it occurred to her that nothing upon nothing looked at all familiar. “Where are we?”