Twilight in Kuta

by David Nesbit

  Soon after that day we did go to Malang again and this time Daddy did come too. In fact almost all the teachers from the schools came and we all stayed in Malang one night. That was a good day too.

  I told you that sometimes Mummy was not happy in Sidoarjo, right? That used to make me sad too if Mummy was unhappy. Sometimes she cried and other times she just looked sad or angry, but I never really knew why. If she was sad then I always wanted to cuddle her and make her happy again and I used to say to her, ‘Don’t cry Mummy. We love you,’ and then she would cuddle me and say she loved me too. I am sad now if I remember those times.

  My daddy was usually happy with me, though. I always saw him smiling and laughing when he came home or when he woke up in the morning. Mummy and me slept in the same bedroom and Daddy slept alone because he didn’t want to be disturbed, but when he woke up he always chased me around the house and tried to tickle me or sing a song into my ears and give me goose bumps. If we were awake at the same time in the morning, then Daddy and me always had breakfast together. Mummy didn’t sit with us for breakfast because she used to eat chicken and rice while we always ate cereals. Daddy and I ate Cornflakes or Rice Krispies usually.

  Daddy still played football sometimes and I still watched him play in his games. One day he played a game in Surabaya and he took me with him. It was just me and him that went to this game and we had a good day with lunch and games in the mall before going to the football field. I was still a little girl then, so when Daddy was playing football he asked one of his friends to look after me on the side of the field. His friend was a very nice lady called Tanta Jolie. She was very pretty and not so old like Mummy. She told me she was Daddy’s friend and that I was very lucky having a daddy from England because when I grew up I would be able to speak English very well. I said, yes, but by the time I could speak English my daddy would already be very old. Tanta Jolie just laughed and gave me a cuddle.

  When I was about five, or nearly five, Daddy and Mummy were not happy together anymore and that made me sad. They sometimes were angry and had arguments, and sometimes they were both quiet and didn’t talk to each other for a long time. I don’t know what the problem was or why they didn’t like each other anymore, but I knew they still liked me, because they told me that many, many times.

  One day, Mummy and Daddy went into Daddy’s bedroom for a very long time and they talked and talked. I remember that while they were talking in there I had time to watch three whole Disney films on VCD. That shows they must have been talking together for hours and hours. When they came out of the room they said they wanted to talk to me.

  I was sad and I started crying because I knew what they were going to say: they were going to tell me that they didn’t want to be married anymore. I just cuddled my daddy very, very tightly and told him I didn’t want him to go. I told him I loved him and I wanted him to stay. I didn’t want him to go.

  My daddy cuddled me tight and told me he loved me too.

  Then he told me that he was going to go to England for some time and that Mummy and me would stay in Indonesia for a while. He said he was going to try and save lots and lots of money there, and then when he had, Mummy and me would come and stay with him. He told me again that he loved me very much and then I asked him if he still loved Mummy. He cuddled me more, and he told me that of course he still loved Mummy. He said that he would always love me and Mummy forever and ever, lots and lots and lots.

  When he said that, I felt a bit happier but I cried even more. I know that’s strange, isn’t it? Then my daddy cried too, and so did my mummy. Then we all cuddled each other and then we all stopped crying and then we all had our tea.

  So, Daddy went to England and me and Mummy stayed in Indonesia. I remember the day Daddy left very well because he nearly missed his plane. There was a football match on TV and Daddy wanted to see the end of it before he went to the airport. I think England were playing in the World Cup but they lost to Brazil, so Daddy was not happy and we had to drive to the airport very fast or he would have missed his flight.

  I was sad that Daddy left, but at least I knew we would be together soon and Daddy said he would call me often from Nana’s house. We kissed goodbye at the airport and this time nobody was crying and when me and Mummy went home in the car with our driver she cuddled me all the way home and told me funny stories like she used to when I was very little.

  I missed Daddy a lot, of course, but I thought about him every day and I tried to be a very good girl so he would let me and Mummy come over to England quickly like he said. He called us every week and I always looked forward to his calls. I was now in the second year of kindergarten school and I told Daddy about my new friends and teachers, and all about my new games and toys and all the things I was doing. Daddy told me he was working very hard, but this I already knew because my daddy always works very hard. I think he gets too tired sometimes from all his work. I asked him if he still played football but he said he was either too tired or too busy to play football anymore.

  Mummy talked to Daddy on the phone as well, of course, but she didn’t talk to him for as long as I did each time. Mummy said that was because it was very expensive for Daddy to phone from England, and so she let me speak for longer than her. Daddy asked me how Mummy was and I always told him not to worry because Um Cribo (Um Arin) was often with her and he made her smile. Daddy said that was good.

  It was true that Mummy did seem happy again now. Everyday she smiled a lot more and she hardly ever had any headaches anymore. She was still very busy and every day had to go to lots of meetings or else teach in the different schools, and I didn’t see her too much during the day, but I saw her almost every night now. I didn’t really understand why she had so many meetings except it was something to do with the schools. I think she wanted to make or open more schools in different places, and many people wanted to help her by giving her or lending her money, or something like that anyway. I was still a little kid, really, and so all of that kind of stuff was boring and confusing for me.

  I do remember there was one thing that did make Mummy a bit sad at this time, though, and that was when Um Cribo decided to stop working with Mummy. I remember Mummy was very, very sad and cried a lot. This made me sad too, but I didn’t cry. I remembered Daddy told me I had to be a brave girl without him and if I was brave and good, then he would be able to be happy and work even harder so Mummy and me could come to England quicker. So, I didn’t cry when Um Cribo left even though Mummy did, but I did cuddle her and try to make her happy again.

  Mummy wasn’t sad for long as she still had many things to do and she had lots of other friends. We sometimes went to see her mummy, my grandma, and I called her Oma. Oma is the Indonesian word for grandma or nana, I guess. My Oma looks like Mummy because both of their faces are round. I asked her why once and she said she has a round face because she likes to smile a lot. I thought that was a good answer. I don’t have a grandpa because he died before I was born and not long after Mummy and Daddy were married, but I have seen pictures of him. He looks like he was a nice man and my daddy said if grandpa knew me he would play with me lots. Daddy said he was very close with grandpa and they spent lots of time together when Daddy first came to Indonesia. Actually, now I think of it, Daddy always looks very sad when he talks about grandpa.

  When Daddy was in England we had Ramadan and then Idul Fitri. This was the first year for me to really join in and do everything properly. Ramadan is the Muslim fasting month when all Muslims are not allowed to eat or drink anything from very early in the morning until the evening. I was still little, of course, but I did fasting until lunchtime while Mummy and her friends did it all day. At the end of the fasting, at around 6pm, everyone ate lots of food and almost every day Mummy got a tummy ache in the evening.

  I spoke to Daddy on the phone and asked him if he was doing fasting in England, and he said he was. He said it was easier in England because it was winter there. I asked him why that made it easier to do fasting, and he expl
ained that people only did fasting during daylight hours – the time when it is light- and in England in winter it is only light for a few hours each day. Daddy said if it was summer time then it would be very difficult to do fasting in England because in the summer it can be light for fifteen or sixteen hours every day.

  Mummy continued with her work in the schools and continued with her meetings and travelling to Malang and other places, and lots of people always came to our house, and lots of times the telephone was ringing all through the day and into the night. It was a very busy time and so Mummy decided to disconnect the phone and not to answer the door to people so much. Sometimes Mummy even used to hide in the bedroom and tell mbak to tell people knocking on the door that she was not at home. I asked Mummy why she did that, and she told me she was just too tired to talk to all the people who wanted to talk to her. I asked her how Daddy could call us if the phone was not connected, but she told me it was OK and she would call Daddy if there were any problems.

  At about the same time as Idul Fitri that year, I met Um Ritchie for the first time. He was to become a very important man in my life, and in the life of my mummy and my daddy, but at that time he was just a new worker in Mummy’s school. He was about the same age as Um Cribo, I guess, but he was taller and skinnier. He was a quiet man when I first knew him and Mummy always seemed to boss him around and he just agreed, but he was always friendly to me. Soon he seemed to take Um Cribo’s place and become Mummy’s assistant in the school and they did lots of planning and talking together. I sometimes joined them when they went for lunch together but they always wanted to talk about work things and so it was quite boring for me.

  They didn’t often talk about Daddy, though, and I hoped this didn’t mean Mummy was forgetting about him and that we were still going to live in England soon. I missed Daddy a lot and I missed especially his cuddles and funny stories. I told Mummy this and then she cuddled me and told me that Daddy missed me too and was always thinking about me. I asked Mummy if she missed Daddy and she said she did.

  Then Mummy had a good idea. She said we would get some proper photographs done in a studio and send them to Daddy so that he would look at them and be happy. I was very happy about this idea, and so I spent absolutely ages choosing which clothes to wear so that Daddy would see how pretty I was and how grown-up I was becoming.

  We got ready and Mummy and I got in the car with our driver, and then Um Ritchie also got in the car. I was surprised because he also looked very smart in his best clothes. I asked him if he was going to have his photo taken too, and he said he was. Anyway, we went to the studio and a nice man took lots of pictures of us all. He took pictures of Mummy and me together, me by myself, Mummy by herself, Mummy and Um Ritchie together, and Mummy and me and Um Ritchie together. We had a nice time and I was sure Daddy would be happy when he saw all the pictures of us.

  I wrote Daddy a nice letter with mbak’s help and I put it in the envelope that Mummy put the pictures in. Mummy sent the pictures of me, of her, and of me and her together, but she didn’t send any pictures with Um Ritchie in.

  Soon after this, I had something very exciting happen to me. I went on an aeroplane for the first time! It was so exciting! Um Ritchie and Mummy and me all went to Singapore first and then we went to Bali. After that, we came back to Surabaya. It really was the most fun thing ever and I was even allowed into the place where the man flies the plane (the cockpit, Um Ritchie says) and I showed the man a picture I had drawn of the plane and he said it was very good.

  We went to Singapore not for a holiday, Mummy said, but to get a special letter that would allow me to live in Indonesia longer. I didn’t understand really, but Mummy said it was something to do with me having an English daddy and so I had to get permission to stay in the country. It still didn’t make sense to me, but I didn’t complain.

  After that we went on another plane and we flew to a place called Bali. Mummy told me that Bali was not a different country like Indonesia, but another island. Bali was very nice and very hot. We stayed at a nice hotel and every day we played on the beach and ate really yummy food. I remember that one day we went to a park with lots of slides and swimming pools and Um Ritchie and I had lots of fun sliding and splashing in the pools. Mummy didn’t go on any of the slides, and instead sat in the shade.

  A few days after we got home from our holiday, I had some more very good news. Daddy was coming home! I was so happy when Mummy told me this but I was surprised. I thought that Daddy was going to stay in England and Mummy and I were going to there later when he had enough money, but Mummy explained that Daddy was just coming back to Indonesia for a visit and then would go back to England again. I was a bit sad when Mummy told me this, but at least Daddy was coming and I would be able to play with him again.

  I was very excited and I remember I kept counting the sleeps I had left until Daddy arrived. I wondered if he still looked the same. I wondered if he would bring me any presents or sweets from England. I also wondered if he and Mummy would be happy or if they would start arguing again, but that idea made me sad so I didn’t think about it too much.

  On the day Daddy arrived, we went to the airport to pick him up and I was so happy, excited and nervous at the same time. I wanted to go to the airport early to make sure we didn’t miss Daddy, but Um Ritchie explained that wasn’t necessary and he told me to be patient. I did try, but it was so difficult. Mummy warned me that Daddy would be so tired when he arrived and so probably wouldn’t be able to play with me straight away for one or two days, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to see him.

  Finally we got to the airport and there were many people there. It was very hot and we had to wait behind a barrier but Um Ritchie lifted me onto it and I sat there waiting for Daddy. Finally I saw him and I jumped down off the barrier. Mummy and Um Ritchie tried to stop me, but I started running to my daddy and I called his name many, many times. Daddy saw me and he ran to me too. He picked me up and swung me round and round and I held him very tightly. I was so happy.

  I told Daddy I missed him and I kissed him many many times, and he kissed me and told me he missed me very much too. It was the happiest moment of my life up until then.

  Daddy stayed with us for a week and we had lots of good times together. We played in the park near our house early in the morning and again in the evening almost every day, and Daddy also took me to school and met my new friends and teachers and me and Daddy talked a lot and I told him all my news. I told him all about my school and my friends, and all about the schools Mummy was opening and the journeys we had been on to many places like Malang and Bali and Singapore, and Daddy listened to all my stories and was very interested.

  We had lots of McDonald’s to eat, which was good because Mummy normally didn’t let me eat that food, and Daddy gave me some toys that he had brought with him from England. It was such a happy week.

  On one day Daddy went somewhere by plane ( to a big city called Jakarta, I think), but he came back in the evening and played with me before I went to bed. I was worried that he and Mummy would argue again, but actually they didn’t. They did talk to each other quite a lot, but they always talked quietly and seriously without any shouting, and I was pleased about that. Um Ritchie wasn’t there very much for that week.

  Quickly it was Daddy’s last day in Indonesia and I became sad again. I tried not to cry because I remembered that Daddy said I had to be a brave girl and then I could come to England soon, but it was very, very difficult. I think it was difficult for Daddy too, because he cuddled me and he cried a bit. This made me cry a bit, too.

  Then Daddy spoke to Mummy.

  He told her he had made a decision and he was going to come back to live in Indonesia. Mummy looked a bit surprised and asked Daddy why. Daddy just said it was too hard to leave us again and he didn’t want us to live apart anymore. Mummy didn’t really say anything very much then, but I was so delighted. I asked if this meant that Daddy was not going to go back to England today, but Daddy said he still
he had to go but he would be back very soon. When I asked him how soon, he said it would be just one month. Well, that still sounded like a long time to me, but Daddy explained it wasn’t really and it would soon go quickly. Daddy said he wasn’t sure if we would live in Surabaya or in Jakarta but he would know soon and then tell us. Again, Mummy didn’t say much.

  So, we all went back to the airport. Again. And we all said goodbye. Again. And we were all sad. Again.

  Soon, though, things got better. I knew my daddy was coming back to live with us in a short while even if I didn’t know where exactly. Mummy was still a bit quiet for a few days after Daddy left and she seemed to talk often with Um Ritchie about grown-up things during this time. They both looked a bit sad and not really excited like I was about Daddy coming back to live with us and I didn’t know why, but after a week or two they seemed to be happier and they told me they were looking forward to living with Daddy and me in Jakarta.

  I didn’t really know much about Jakarta except that it was another city in Indonesia and that it was quite a long way from Sidoarjo and Surabaya. Mummy told me that Daddy had decided to take a new job there and so we would all move together and we would all be happy together again. This was all I ever wanted to hear, and I started looking forward to it right away, but Mummy told me I had to finish my kindergarten in Surabaya and then we would move to Jakarta in time for me to start primary school. In the meantime, she explained, Daddy would go to Jakarta and start his new job. Well, I told Mummy that all of this just sounded the same as before, Daddy still wouldn’t be living with us. I told Mummy I was not happy at all about this idea but she explained that it was different because now at least Daddy was in the same country and we could see each other more often. Mummy said we could go to Jakarta and see Daddy and also that Daddy would come to see us in Sidoarjo.