Always Conall (Bitterroot #2)

by Sibylla Matilde

  “Oh my God…” I breathed into his mouth. My wandering fingers roamed over every ridge of muscle spanning his abdomen, tracing the edge of his bandages where my nails scraped along his skin and caused him to hiss sharply. In a flash, his hands slid up the backs of my thighs to my panties, and he yanked them down forcefully, raising just enough to straighten my legs and remove the offending garment. His palms rested on my inner thighs, spreading my legs widely as he gazed down at my aching, needy center. Excruciatingly slowly, the tips of his fingers traced down the delicate skin, barely grazing the hot, tingling flesh in between.

  The expression on his face alone almost pushed me over the edge. With a sweltering glance, his eyes hotly watching the touch of his fingertips, he quietly groaned.

  “Fuck, Sage…” His guttural tone could barely be heard.

  As though he was starving, he buried his face against my core, licking firmly, fucking me deeply with his tongue. Sucking and lapping and nibbling at my clit as his thick fingers pushed back inside me and his little finger teased my back entrance. I almost screamed, shocked by his unexpected, brazen touch. The fragments of my sanity swirled around in my head as his thick, deep voice brushed against my heated core.

  “I fucking want all of you,” he rumbled against my skin, pulsing vibrations through me with every breath. “I want to taste you exploding in my mouth. I want your hot little pussy and your tight little ass.”

  Another deep draw on my clit sent a brutal tremor through me as his fingers pumped inside my aching, wet depths. His pinky tantalized the taboo spot just behind it and dipped inside, mimicking his assault on my tender pussy, the touch was so wrong and wicked, yet amazingly provocative. The combined stimulation wrought a desperate sob from my throat. I couldn’t think of anything but the magic of his touch, the fire he was setting throughout my body.

  I was so close.

  Oh God, so very close.

  Every cell in my body shook as one hand slid around my hips. Lifting them to gain more direct access, his tongue and his fingers fanned the fire inside me, devouring and consuming me. My head fell back and my body arched off the bed as it seized with an awesome exhilaration. His fingers inside me, filling me but gliding easily through the wetness of my arousal, drawing the moisture to my ass and pumping into me with a smooth, sure movement. Taking me higher, building up the pressure. His lips drew hard at my clit, pressing his fingers more firmly until my body convulsed suddenly into a shaking, sobbing mess.

  “Con…” My voice echoed in my own head with a gasp, and his lips brushed over my bare sex and up my stomach. Pausing momentarily to lave and caress my breasts, his mouth worked his way up my neck and back to tease my tongue and nip at my breathless lips. The scent of my arousal surrounded us, and I could taste my lust in his kiss. Deftly, his hands pulled at my dress, tugging it down my hips, stopping just a second to slip my sandals from my feet. It all happened so fast, yet eternal and dreamlike. I lay naked underneath him, yanking at the waistband of his jeans, desperately trying to pull the button free and release his zipper.

  Conall straightened above me as he shucked off his jeans and the thick curve of his cock sprang forth. He quickly pulled a condom from his wallet, ripping the package open with his teeth to slide on the latex. He looked down at me for a moment, sprawled out and waiting desperately, and I watched as his large hand closed around the thickness of his cock, stroking it. With a cool, devilish grin, he pressed up against my core and stroked the hard length against my aching clit.

  I pushed up to sit before him, grasping his hot, firm length. Wrapping a hand around the base and another farther up, I squeezed and tugged. His hand settled at my shoulder as I milked him, his fingers tightening in my hair almost painfully. With a groan, he pulled me towards him, ravishing my lips. His other hand slipped underneath me and hefted me up the bed as he nudged his way between my parted legs. His arm curled under my thigh, pulling it up and spreading me wide open. He teased my entrance momentarily, slickening up the thick head of his cock before he surged into me, invading my hot, aching depth.

  “Fucking hell…” he groaned as he stretched me and stroked slowly inside me. “Nobody… fuck, Sage, nobody has ever felt like you.” His lips captured mine as his hips pressed tightly into me, pushing even deeper. The almost painful bliss of his touch had me shaking violently, on the cusp of shattering into a million pieces yet again. My hands drifted down his back to cup the hard muscles of his ass, clawing and pulling, urging him to stay inside me forever. Every pump of his hips besieged my senses. The feel of him so very deep as the silky slide of his cock caressed me. The tightening of his muscles with every thrust.

  His harsh breathing echoed in my mind, his heartbeat reverberated through my body. Forceful and punishing, then stopping as he buried himself to the hilt, holding his muscles taut while he kissed me thoroughly. His fingertips traced the shell of my ear down my throat, and his thumb gently pressed against my pulse, just enough to heighten the fervor of the moment.

  He pulled out of me and rose to kneel, his hand slipping up to my ribs and holding me down to the bed. His other hand ran under my hips pushing my legs to the side and firmly lifting my sex so he could plunge back inside. My legs folded up against me, and he ran so deep when he gave a hard, fast thrust. And another. With the way he held me down, I couldn’t move, but I didn’t want to. I lay helplessly as he began to pound into me, and I loved every second. Every last punishing thrust as he entered and withdrew.

  It was fucking incredible.

  With his hand at my shoulder to steady my body, he continued to drive into me. Perfectly hard and rough. The splendor of his touch was so raw and jarring, almost excruciating. My core muscles contracted, squeezing him tightly and eliciting a rough, ragged groan from his throat. My entire body seizing rigidly as I peaked, and then a surge of light flashed across my eyelids. Shocks reverberated throughout me and pulsed clear through to my fingertips and toes.

  A throaty scream tore from my own throat as Conall continued to fuck me, animalistic and primal, drawing out the exhilaration until I was shaking and sobbing incoherently. I barely registered a pause in his rhythm as he lifted my ankle up to his shoulder, the back of my leg pressed tightly against his abs by his bruising grip on my thigh. The slap of our wet skin echoed in the small space, and his chest and abs grew slick with a fine sheen of sweat. I was lost in the sensations that thrummed through me, captured by the intensity of his dark eyes as he clenched his jaw and hoarsely growled with his release. At long last, his pace slowed to a halt, occasionally gliding in and out, savoring the delicious connection. He released my leg, guiding it to rest at his side, his length still buried deliciously deep inside me, and lowered his muscular frame to cradle me below him in his arms.

  Conall

  I was in fucking heaven. I could feel every faint shiver reverberate through Sage’s trembling body as I lowered myself back down to her, skin on skin. Supporting the bulk of my weight with my elbows, every movement wrought a gasp from her bruised and parted lips. All at once, she seemed limp and listless below me, yet tightly wrought and hypersensitive.

  And, holy fuck, my side hurt. It burned like a motherfucker where my stitches were.

  But, every second I’d been inside her had been so worth the pain I felt now.

  I nuzzled her temple and lifted my head to look down at her. With what seemed like great effort, her eyes opened slightly, showing just a glimpse of the brilliant blue as she studied me. Her fair skin was flushed a lovely shade of pink, dewy with sweat that caused the tendrils of her hair to curl at her forehead.

  She’d never looked so beautiful.

  I gingerly kissed her, barely making contact but feeling the spark all the same. My lips delicately caressed hers, feather-light touches, then a slight brush of my tongue. Her fingertips traced the muscles of my back, delicately gliding her nails along my damp skin and sending faint shivers through my body. My hips settled more firmly against hers, still a part of her, and she tightened aroun
d me with a breathy gasp.

  I never wanted to leave this moment. Ever. I only wanted to savor this extraordinary feeling, to cherish every tremble, to soak up all the emotion that swirled around us.

  My lips ventured across her cheeks, up over her eyelids. At her brow, I buried my face into her hair and breathed in deeply, filling my nostrils with the sweet, fresh scent of her shampoo. I could feel her breathing start to normalize after the exertion of our passion, and her body began to relax and soften.

  Shifting slightly, I rolled to the side, pulling her with me, instantly mourning the loss of our intimate connection. Her arm limply fell from my hip, and I reached down and threaded my fingers through her tightly clenched ones, soothing the stiffness with a gentle caress of my thumb.

  As I looked down at her flushed features, her eyes drifted closed again, and she began to relax into an exhausted languor.

  “Baby, I don’t want to let go of you yet,” I murmured languidly, “but do you need to touch base with someone about Mattie?”

  Her dark lashes fluttered up once, and then again, as she sleepily shook her head. “Brynn has her. She said she’d see me when she sees me, that Mattie could spend the night.”

  Then her eyes drifted closed once again, as though the weight of the world lay on them. Her breathing evened out and slowed, brushing lightly against my skin. Feeling myself following suit, I gingerly pulled free from her warmth and slipped from the bed to remove the condom. I tossed it in the bathroom garbage and rested my hands on the pedestal sink, looking long and hard at myself in the mirror.

  What kind of man was I? I’d left her so long ago, the only person left I cared about. Who cared about me. I was such a dick.

  She’d be so much better off without me.

  As good as she’d felt, as good as she’d tasted, I knew with every fiber of my being that she’d be better off without me.

  But unable to resist the pull of her delicious little body in my bed, I returned to her, pulling the soft flannel sheets back beneath her and sliding both of us in between. I gathered her against me, tucking her close to my side.

  And for the first time in five years, I slept like a rock.

  Chapter 14 ~ Morning After

  Conall

  “Conall…”

  Somewhere in the night, I heard her whisper my name, a breath in the darkness. I felt the smooth brush of her leg brush against mine, her thigh grazing my half-erect dick, and I immediately became hard as granite. The smell of her warm skin filled my nostrils, the essence of sex still surrounded us. In a dreamlike state, my body turned towards her as her evocative moan sounded against my ear.

  Long shadows drawn from the full moon stretched across the room, and the light filtered in to illuminate her pale curves. As if in a trance, my fingertips traced the perfect swell of her breast, down the tapered in skin of her stomach, and along the gentle flare of her hip. My lips covered hers and she blossomed beneath me, opening up to me, clutching me to her.

  It all felt like a dream, one I had regrettably woken from so many times over the years. Rolling her beneath me, I slipped inside her, feeling her sharply drawn breath against my neck and surrendering to her warm, wet heat with a ragged groan.

  Holy fuck, she felt good. Amazing. Everything I’d remembered and more. Like nothing else. No one else, and hell if I hadn’t tried to find this with others over the years. Every chance I had. But nobody had even come close. They’d all been hollow shadows, paling to the brilliance of what I felt with Sage. There was a sense of completion when I was inside her, a wholeness that had eluded me my entire life.

  I slowly rocked against her, burying my face against her neck as I savored every second. The slide of her sweet pussy, tightly squeezing around my cock as I angled myself to rub along her clit with every stroke. Every time I withdrew, I could feel her muscles gripping me to hold me in. Every time I pushed back inside, her body welcomed me and drew me even deeper.

  Her fingertips feathered up my back, curving around my shoulders and down my arms to grasp my biceps.

  “Conall,” she exhaled as one of her feet slid up the back of my leg.

  I circled my hips, changing the pace and the motion, watching her expression alter in the faintly lit room. Her eyebrows drew together as she began to tremble against me. She curled into me, her breathing started to catch, leaving her body in quick puffs of air that softly fanned my chest.

  The stunning feel of her satiny skin, the sound of her gasps and the scent of our passion, it all culminated as her muscles contracted for a long moment. I slowed even more, pressing into her as far as I could with one last concentrated thrust, holding there and drawing out the pinnacle of her release until she pulsed around me. Her body shook and her fingernails cut deeply into the skin of my arms. Her quiet sob filled the air as I collapsed on top of her and spilled my love inside.

  “Conall…” she exhaled brokenly. “Oh, Con…”

  Slowly, Sage’s breathing evened out, her pulse slowed. Her tight hold on my arms twitched and lessened. I shifted our bodies, and, with a drowsy sigh, she curled back into me, barely conscious. As I watched her drift back to sleep, my mind began to become more alert. The dreamlike haze began to fade and, with a jolt, I realized we hadn’t used a condom.

  Sweet Jesus, wouldn’t that about serve me right if I knocked her up again. It was actually fucking alarming. I already had one kid that didn’t know me. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was the biggest dickhead in the whole world. I held her, wanting to protect her, but feeling a sense of panic rising inside me.

  The urge to run.

  But I couldn’t do that to her. Not again.

  Never again.

  I climbed out of bed and stood naked at the window, staring for a long while out into the dawn. The sun was just starting to peek over the mountaintops, and its light painted the smoky sky bright orange, reflecting on the scant clouds.

  Sage shifted in the blankets, and I looked over to see her tugging the blue plaid flannel sheet that draped across her torso. With her legs kicked out from beneath, it grazed the bare skin of her hip and rose to barely cover her perfectly soft breasts. Her pale skin glowed warm as the sun rose, and dark hair spread out over my pillows.

  Fuck, she was beautiful. She literally made my fingertips tingle with the need to trace them along her satiny rounded cheek. Asleep, she looked so young. With her features relaxed, she reminded me of the girl she had been.

  That girl reminded me of Mattie. And the ache in my chest grew as I wondered how many of Sage’s characteristics Mattie had picked up. Watching her giggle the other day, watching her run and play, it had been like stepping back in time and seeing Sage.

  At once, the possessiveness towards my daughter battled with the anxious uncertainty of this situation. What did I know about being a dad? What the fuck kind of father would I be? She’d be better off with anyone else. Maybe if I hadn’t shown up and fucked shit up for her, Sage and Jeff would have ended up getting married.

  My mind rebelled at the thought. For all I knew, he might be a great guy and might make an awesome father, but I still didn’t like the fucker. And I sure as heck didn’t want him to be a dad to my kid. He’d had Sage. He’d had what was once mine.

  But she never should have been mine. That was never the role I was supposed to play. I was never supposed to touch her. Matt would have gone apeshit if he’d known.

  Fuck.

  Matt.

  For so long, I’d felt all kinds of guilt. I’d thrown myself into basic training as a way to release the anger. Running drills until I felt like I was going to drop. Putting every conscious thought I had into making myself a mindless drone, emotionless. I wanted to kill something or someone. To experience something worse than the pain I’d felt from essentially killing my best friend. Something to replace the gutting sensation of Sage standing on that lakeshore in her muddy skirt, sobbing that she loved me.

  But no matter what, it stayed buried deep in my heart. Through the years and the
flashes of firefight, she called to me. Through the nerve-wracking waiting for terrorist attacks and the horrific sights and sounds of battle, I could hear her, see her, smell her everywhere I went. I could feel her clutching at my heart, never releasing me.

  I’d almost thought that, by coming back, by catching a glimpse of her, hopefully smiling and happy and living a full life, it would finally ease that torment. It would release this hold she had on me. I had hoped that I could slip in and out of town unnoticed and that bitter, empty feeling would finally ease.

  But it had only gotten worse.

  Because I hadn’t realized that I’d left part of me with her, too. A little blue-eyed reminder that I’d abandoned her when she needed me the most.

  And right then, it hit me. How badly I wanted what was right here before me. All of it. How badly I wanted to hear Mattie’s little voice call me daddy. I wanted to feel Sage wrapped in my arms every night and every morning. I wanted their laughter and their love. I wanted to erase the past five years and do it all over, staying with Sage and going through it all with her.

  As the sun finally cleared the jagged peaks, I finally realized that I simply had to be the father that little girl had made me. I had to be Mattie’s dad. There was no longer the question of whether I would be good for her.

  I simply had to be.

  God only knew what that meant for Sage and I. I wanted her so badly, but I’d also fucked up epically when I left her. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve her forgiveness after the hardships she’d endured when I bailed. I’d been a complete dick when she showed up here yesterday, too. I had become incredibly frustrated by her desire to keep things platonic. And it had manifested in anger, my pride beaten down over her lack of faith. Even if it was warranted.