Fallout

by Lila Rose

  Me: I forgive you. I’m back in your life.

  Fuck me. I’d sounded cheesy and desperate. Did I give a shit? Not one bit if I got Poppy where I wanted her. Liking me again, warming to me, smiling, laughing, and moaning.

  Only there was no quick response from her end.

  Me: Poppy?

  Another minute later…

  Me: Poppy!

  Me: Goddamn it, babe. You’re not getting away from me.

  Poppy: Damn, it was good while it lasted. GTG :)

  Me: Talk soon!

  In the end, I realised I still hadn’t found out the answer I wanted most. Was she involved with anyone?

  Chapter Six

  Poppy

  Thankfully, I’d been in my room getting ready for work when I’d got Jerimiah’s text or else people would have seen the biggest, giddy smile and laugh I’d had in a while. At the time, I enjoyed being playful with him. We used to talk crap and give each other hell a lot, but then….

  Rubbing my forehead, I placed my phone on the bed and picked up my short pink leather skirt and slipped it on. Confusion swirled in my mind. It wasn’t that long ago I’d still hated him. Okay, not hate exactly, maybe hurt. But it was as if Jerimiah had magical powers and when I was in his presence, all I could think about was forgiveness, forgetting, and wanting him back in my life.

  Shit. If I gave him what he wanted—my time—would I be back to where I’d left and in love with him even more? It was possible. He was more charming and sinfully hot. He had a way with words. Already I was considering taking hold of him and getting back to how we used to be. We spent a lot of our time hanging out, talking, sleeping over, taking care of each other, and confiding in one another.

  I knew he’d hated his father with a passion, something I totally understood. But he loved his mother and stayed because of her. His favourite food was nachos, with a chocolate milkshake to wash them down. He loved all types of sports and had tried to teach me to play a few of them, until he realised my hand and eyes coordination wasn’t good. That was after I was hit in the head for the fifth time from the basketball I was supposed to catch.

  I knew he hated romance movies, but loved action. Typical guy. He’d also mentioned how he wanted more in life than what his father showed his mother. Since that wasn’t much, I knew he could achieve it, and as far as I knew, he had. I’d heard how happy his mum was, especially when a few years ago, Switch, Jerimiah’s dad, had left town without a trace and never came back. What I never expected was for Jerimiah to change motorcycle clubs. Venom had run through his veins. I never expected it, but I was glad he had. Back in the day, Jerimiah used to be broodier, unless he was around me, and even the few times I’d seen him since I’d got back to town, I’d noticed his change. He was a smiler. I could see he was happier. He’d freed himself from a MC that dealt on the wrong side of the law, and found a new family, one that supported one another, and was clean. Yes, I’d overheard of few times when the Hawks got dirty from being around Blackie and Dad, but the Hawks only ever did it because they were protecting their family. They protected in ways anyone hearing about it would understand.

  I just didn’t know them personally. Not like I do with Venom MC. They’d been a part of my family for a long time. Things were good with Blackie running the show. Dad was prouder now than he was when he’d first started out.

  To me, Venom was family.

  Which was why a part of me twinged when I learned Jerimiah had left the family.

  We used to hang out at the compound, laughing at what the guys would get up to. Sneak a beer or two together, play pool, or just sit around on family days and eat all the food we could.

  Sighing, I shook my head.

  The past was the past.

  I couldn’t stop things changing, like I couldn’t stop my mum getting sick.

  We had to move with the flow. Deal with the pain and learn to grow from it all, no matter how much I wished to crumble under everything.

  However, even though I would roll with everything, I couldn’t bring myself to insert my life fully back into Jerimiah’s. Not yet. I needed time and distance to see how things went. I was good with texts, but having him around, close, I found myself muddled.

  Forgiveness was beautiful. I had forgiven him fully, of this I was now certain, but patience was also something to behold.

  When my phone chimed again as I slipped the black tank top over my head, I smiled big again. Groaning at myself, I picked it up and opened the text… then dropped the phone.

  Python.

  After I’d been back in town a while, I’d visited the Venom compound one night and met Python. A big, tattooed guy around my age. He’d charmed his way in to get a couple of dates out of me. The first wasn’t so bad. We hung out and talked at the compound, drinking, playing pool. But on the second date, I knew he wasn’t for me. He had a look about him I didn’t trust. He was rude to the wait staff, rude to the people at the bar, and in the end, when I wouldn’t go home with him, he was rude to me.

  I was called a cock tease, a bitch, a redheaded little fucker, and after all that, he’d tried to force himself on me. Thank God Dad had been home and came out to see what was going on. He hadn’t seen what happened in the car, but didn’t like how long we’d been out there without getting out. Python, knowing Dad was close with Blackie, backed off.

  However, I didn’t know what type of psycho he was until a few days later he’d texted me and told me how much he looked forward to finally claiming my pussy as his. Since I was already his woman.

  That had been a few weeks earlier, and since then, I hadn’t heard a word from him, so I thought he’d dropped the whole thing.

  Until my recent text.

  Psycho: Saw Hawks at your door. Don’t fucking like it. You’re mine. They come again, they pay.

  If he was actually serious, I didn’t know, and it scared me not knowing. When he hadn’t done anything after threatening to fuck me, I thought he was full of shit. So when it came down to the crunch, I was already half convinced he was all talk and not an action man. If I showed Dad the texts, he’d freak, and he had enough to worry about. Still, if I didn’t show him, he would be pissed. And if something happened to me, he would go crazy.

  When I heard the front door open, I made a decision to tell him. Picking up my knee-high boots and handbag, I placed my phone in the latter then made my way out into the living room. He’d just sat down on his reclining chair with a long, loud sigh. He noticed me and managed a warm smile.

  “You got work, honey?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled. “Until midnight.”

  “What time you start?” he asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and then his head on his hands.

  “In an hour.”

  “You got time for a chat?”

  Shit. His voice didn’t sound right. I knew whatever he had to say wasn’t going to be good.

  “Is it Mum?”

  Pain slashed through his features, then regret. “No, honey. I’m sorry to get you worried. It’s about your brother.”

  Letting out an annoyed grumble, I asked, “What’s he done now?”

  “Did Fang tell you anything?”

  Raising my brows, I said, “No.”

  “Right.” He nodded. “Sit down, honey. It won’t take long.” As soon as I was seated to his left on the couch, I dropped my boots on the floor, and he went on, “You know I’d sent him to the Hawks to see if that’d straighten him out.”

  “Yes. I guess it didn’t.” Alvin Torian was a pain in everyone’s arse. He had never liked me. Heck, I wasn’t sure if he liked anything or anyone. He stole, did drugs, got into fights, and on a few occasions, he threw parties that wrecked the family home. Those times Dad had kicked him out, but after a while, he’d beg to come back. His latest excuse was not coping with how things were with Mum. Only we knew it
was never Mum. It was the drugs, and he was just a bad egg. Jerimiah even knew it. He beat the living crap out of him one night when Alvin had cornered me down the street asking for money. When I said I didn’t have any, my brother attacked me, trying to steal my bag. That was until Jerimiah came around the corner. I’d been surprised when Dad told me Jerimiah was going to help Alvin transition into Hawks. What didn’t shock me was Alvin messing the chance at a new life up.

  “He was high, said some shit to a few Hawks members, and it didn’t go down well. They taught him a lesson. He didn’t learn from that because he then said some shit about us in front of Jerimiah. Fang lost it, and after he was done, he left him with his brothers to deal out more of a message. He’s in the hospital, honey, and the shit he said about us…. I’ve cut him from our lives.”

  Shock had my lips parting and my body stiffening.

  Dad had cut Alvin, his own son, from our lives.

  Whatever had been said must have been serious. Deadly serious.

  My father was smart, he cared a lot, and was the rock in the family. If he’d cut Alvin out, it was important to follow his lead. What helped was that letting Alvin rot in the hospital wasn’t a great loss.

  “If I see him, I’ll let you know. He’s no longer my brother.”

  He stood, reached down to grab my wrist, and pulled me up in front of him. Next, I was wrapped in his arms. “Been you and me for a long time, honey. Fuck, I’d be lost without you. So Goddamn lost. I tried. Tried so hard to save him in one way or another.”

  “Dad, don’t. He couldn’t be saved. This isn’t on you, and it’s not on Mum. It’s no one’s fault but his.” Pulling back, I teared when I spotted wetness in my father’s eyes. “We’ll be fine. We always have been. Honestly, Dad, he hasn’t been a part of this, us, a warm, loving family, for a very long time. He missed out. It was his choice to be who he wanted to be.”

  His bottom jaw wobbled a little. “He was my own son.”

  Pulling back, I said, “He was, but then he picked drugs over us. The Torian family is strong, loyal, smart, and loving. He stopped being a Torian when he stole right out of Mum’s purse, when he punched you in the face after you caught him, and when he trashed the house you and Mum worked so hard for. We need to focus on Mum.”

  He sniffed, roughly wiped at his eyes, and tugged me in for another hug. “You’re right. But promise me this, honey. I need you to live your life too. I got your mum, you know that, but—”

  “Dad…” I stepped out of his arms and shook my head. “…let’s just… I’m good. I’m fine in fact with how my life is.”

  “Fang—”

  “No. I’m not talking to you about him.”

  “Thank fuck. Although, need you to know now, the crush you had on him when you were young, honey, it wasn’t one-sided. That boy was taken with you as much as you were with him. I have a feeling he’ll want to stick close to my girl, but if he ever fucks things up, I’ll kill him.”

  “Dad.” I groaned. “We’re… I honestly don’t know what Jerimiah and I are. What I do know is that I don’t have time for any of this right now.”

  “That a girl. Make him work for it.”

  My mouth dropped open. Jesus Christ. Dad wanted Jerimiah and me together, as in a couple, not just friends. “I have no words for you right now. Dinner is in the fridge.” I picked up my boots and put them on. After standing, I went to Dad, bent and kissed his forehead.

  “Love you, girl.”

  “Love you more, Dad.”

  He scoffed. Smiling, I made my way out of the house and headed to work.

  Charlie Torian hated the fact I worked at a strip club. If he had a choice, he’d take me each day and pick me up to make sure I was safe. The day I told him where my job was, I thought a little of him died inside. That gutted me. I knew he wanted the world for me. It took a while, but eventually, he understood what I wanted, and that was for my family to live comfortably. My earning helped in a lot of ways and meant Dad could spend more time with Mum, the love of his life. If I ever found that type of love, I knew Dad’s dream for me would have come true. I would have found my world.

  It wasn’t until later at work I remembered I hadn’t told him about Python, and I wasn’t sure I could. He was going through enough. If I could just keep Jerimiah and his brothers away, maybe Python wouldn’t do anything in the end. That was if he had actually been going to do something.

  Chapter Seven

  Fang

  Me: Realised never asked where you worked.

  It’d been a couple of weeks since I got Poppy back in my life without so much disdain attached to us. Since then, she’d dodged every chance I put out there to catch up face-to-face. It was driving me fuckin’ insane.

  It was night. I’d just finished late in the garage and was walking into the compound when my phone tinged.

  Poppy: Is this you asking now?

  Smiling, I shook my head, loving it when she was a smartass.

  Me: Yes.

  Poppy: At a day spa.

  My brows dipped.

  Me: But you work late hours.

  I knew that because I’d tried to get her to come to dinner a few times at Ma’s; she’d said she couldn’t because of work. Then I reached out and tried lunch, her excuse was either housework, cooking or seeing her mum.

  Poppy: It’s called a day spa, but it actually does late hours. For all those people who work nine to five.

  That didn’t sit right with me. In fact, it reminded me of a TV show I’d sat through with Nary a few times. Fuck. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the name of it. At first, I’d hated the show, except one of the main characters was hot. Still, the gist of it was the woman had hit a rough patch, and the spa place she worked offered extra money if they jerked their clients off.

  I halted.

  Motherfucking hell. Was Poppy jerking guys off for money? I still hadn’t gotten to the question if she was seeing anyone. She was good at deflecting any questions that were too personal, but I enjoyed the times we texted, so I let it slide until we were face-to-face. People could lie in texts. Not that I thought she would, but Poppy was still holding something back from me. I wanted to know what.

  Me: You working tonight?

  Poppy: No, heading in to see Mum.

  Me: What are you doing tomorrow?

  Jesus, I sounded desperate again.

  Poppy: Banking, food shopping, and other boring things.

  “Jerimiah?” I glanced up to see Nary coming my way.

  “Hey, darlin’.” I smiled. “What’re you up to?”

  “Nothing much really. I just popped in to see Low and then thought I haven’t seen you in a long time, so I came to find you.”

  “Glad you did, babe.” I wound my arm around her waist for a hug. Even though I’d lost Nary to Vicious, I was still glad we were close. We hadn’t lost the friendship. Pulling back, I whistled. “Shit, woman, you’re looking mighty fine. You heading out later?”

  She giggled. “No, just came from work. Thought I might have a nice relaxing night.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yes, Sax—” She looked down at my phone, so I did, and we both saw the lit screen. Fuck. I’d called Poppy somehow as we were talking.

  Placing it against my ear, I said, “Poppy?”

  Silence for a beat, and then she said quietly, “You’re busy. I’ll let you go. Enjoy your relaxing night.” Then there was nothing but air.

  “Fuck!” I covered my eyes with my hand before slipping it up through my hair. I ran mine and Nary’s conversation over in my mind. Shit. Poppy probably thought I was looking to relax with Nary.

  “Was that the girl from the nightclub a while ago? The one Saxon said has your panties in a twist.”

  Scowling, I replied, “Remind me to hit your man in the face next time I see him.”

&nb
sp; “Uh, no. So it was her.” She grinned, then her eyes widened. “Oh, our conversation may have been taken differently by her.”

  “Yeah, I reckon it did. Fucking hell.”

  Nary’s hand came down on my arm. “I’m sure if you explain it to her, she’ll understand.”

  Would she? Then again, should I explain myself when we were only at the friend stage? Yes, I fucking well should, because if it had been the other way around, I would be goddamn pissed. But was she… could she… hell, was there a chance for Poppy and me to be an us?

  I think my balls just exploded from all the girl thoughts.

  There wasn’t a chance for us to be an us; it was a fact Poppy and I would be. I’d make sure of it. I’d fight her walls, smash them down, and make her see there was no one else for her but me.

  “Gotta go make a call, babe. Talk soon, and give your man the middle finger for me.” I grinned, even though I didn’t feel like it, but it brought a giggle outta Nary, so I was glad. With a quick hug goodbye, I made my way through the compound to my room.

  Sitting on my bed, I sighed and rolled my neck a few times. I pressed Poppy’s name on my phone. It rang once before I got the message bank. I hung up, clenching my jaw. She was either on another call or she swiped across to end my call. I wasn’t gonna have that.

  Me: Call me or answer my next call or I’m coming to find you to talk.

  I waited a few minutes, and when she didn’t ring, I rang her again.

  She answered, “Jerimiah, I don’t have time to talk. Sorry, I have to—”

  “Poppy, just give me five.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Please.”

  I heard her sigh. “Fine.”

  “I didn’t realise I’d hit Call, but it happened, and what you heard was not what it was.”

  “Okay, not sure why you feel you have to tell me since it’s none of my business, but okay. Now can I—”

  “Jesus, Poppy. I wanted you to know because I want something to happen between us that isn’t just friendship. You hear me?”

  There was no response, but her breathing grew louder.