by Lila Rose
“My moon,” I heard from my mum, and I almost choked on a sob. Another intake of a deep breath helped me centre myself. She’d recognised Dad.
“My sky,” Dad replied, his voice thick with emotion.
When Dad shifted towards her and I was in view, her smile brightened even more. “My star,” she whispered. Tears swam in her eyes like I knew mine were too.
She’d always, always called Dad her moon, me her star, and Alvin had been her sun, while she was the sky. She’d said our family filled the earth with everything necessary.
“Hey, Mum,” I mumbled.
Dad leaned down to her, cupping her cheek and when she dragged her gaze from me to him, he said, “Love you more than breathing.”
She sniffed. “Love you more than seeing.”
God. God. I had to thin my lips and blink rapidly to stop from bursting into tears. Their love. I wanted to have their type of love for my own one day. I’d never seen a couple who were married after forty years and still so in love with one another.
“Come here, my sweet girl,” Mum called. Dad sat at her far side, curling his arm around her shoulders and tucking her close. I picked her other side, where I could lie next to her. I slid my arm around her waist while hers cradled around my shoulders, and I leaned into her.
I clenched my jaw.
It hurt. Hurt so much. She’d lost more weight.
However, having these moments, when she was herself, were moments I would cherish, even if they were far and few.
She cleared her throat. “The nurse told me why I’m in here, and I got your letter, my sky. I’m sorry.”
Dad made a noise in the back of his throat. “Mary—”
“No. Please, don’t. The heartache I saw on you both when you arrived… it crushed my chest, and I need you both to know how sorry I am you have to go through this with me.”
Closing my eyes tightly, I bit down on my bottom lip. On the rare moments when Mum was Mum, she went through these words each and every time. We’d tried to stop her speaking about it, feeling regret, but it was best to let her have her say, and then we could go about remembering the good times. Dad had written her a letter a while ago and asked the nurse to tell everyone who entered Mum’s room if she was having a good day or moment, to pass on the letter so she knew everything that had happened. One thing Dad never mentioned was where Alvin truly was. If she asked, we mentioned he was overseas working. We didn’t want her to stress about him.
She sniffed and laid a hand on Dad’s leg. The other stroked my hair. Then she asked, “Now, tell me some happy things going on.”
“Poppy and Jerimiah are back talking. Things are looking good for them, my moon.”
“Dad!” I scolded. Mum laughed.
“What? She loved that boy for you.”
Mum smiled. “I did. Well, I still do if you think you could be happy with him.”
Catching her eyes, I said with a blush coating my cheeks, “Yes. I think I can.”
She studied my face, her smile widening. “Yes, I believe you will.” She kissed my forehead then brought Dad’s hand up and kissed his wrist. “I want you all happy.”
“We are, my moon.”
“I’m so very glad.”
“Love you, Mum.”
“I know.” She nodded. “And I love you. I love all my family.”
“But especially me,” Dad piped up, causing Mum to laugh.
Poppy
Past
Dad had asked me to go to the compound, but I chose not to. Instead, I was home with Mum, and we were having a girl day. Mum always said it was good to have girl days and spoil ourselves. What I loved about it was just spending time with Mum talking, okay, gossiping, and eating what we wanted without Alvin or Dad stealing it. We also loved to watch movies and do our nails.
“Poppy?” she called. She sat on the couch while I was on the floor beside her legs, with one foot up on my thigh while I painted her toenails a bright red.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, concentrating on what I was doing.
“My star,” she said.
I laughed. “Yes, Mum?”
“Honey, I want your eyes for a moment.” Her tone was serious, the humour of a few moments ago gone. We’d been laughing about Manda and how she put a paper bag of dog poop on the front step of Jeff’s house. Jeff being her ex who cheated on her. She’d set the bag on fire, rang the bell, then ran for it. She’d filmed the whole thing: how Jeff came out, started stamping on the bag and got shit all over himself. It’d been the best scene ever.
Twisting on the lid to the nail polish, I sat it down on the carpet and turned to face Mum. She leaned forward, a smile on her lips, so whatever she had to say couldn’t have been that serious.
“Your dad and I know about Jerimiah sneaking into your room at night.”
Oh, shit.
My body froze, my heart racing while I waited for the lecture to come. Waited for her to tell me Jerimiah wouldn’t be allowed to do it again, and waited for her to tell me I had to spend less time with him.
It didn’t come.
Instead, her smile widened.
“It’s okay,” she said.
“Say what now?” I blurted, my brows shooting up in shock.
She giggled. “There isn’t a boy who we’d trust you with completely. Except Jerimiah.”
“For real?” I asked, awe in my voice.
“Yes. He’s proven himself to us on many times. Your dad adores him for you. I do too. So much. We respect him.”
I grinned. “He is pretty awesome.”
“He is.” She paused. “Do you have strong feelings for him, more than just a friend?”
I glanced away, but Mum caught my chin with her fingers and dragged my gaze back to hers. She smiled softly. “You do.”
“Yes.”
“We just worry because you’re both so young.”
“I’m sixteen. I know what love is.”
She shook her head. “I’m not saying you don’t. The bond you and Fang have is something amazing. It reminds me of your Dad and me. A love that’ll last a lifetime. All we want is for you to not rush things.”
“I won’t. I promise, but… do you really think he loves me back?”
“Yes, my star. I really do, but I think he’s waiting for the right time.”
I felt giddy hearing someone else say Jerimiah loved me. I’d always hoped, prayed. It wasn’t the same coming from Manda, but my mum knew a lot. She was wise, so if she’d said it, it must be true.
It was later that night, with courage tucked into socks, I went in search for Jerimiah. I heard he was at a party, so I caught a taxi to the house. Only, when I found him, I wished I hadn’t.
Not wanting to go through the front door of the party, I snuck around the side and paused at the gate, looking over. It was then I saw him.
He was sitting on a lawn chair with some stupid bitch I didn’t know on his lap. They were that close I heard everything they’d said.
“You gonna come back to my room?” Jerimiah slurred.
The girl giggled. “Maybe. But only if you can tell me what’s up with you and that red-haired girl.”
“Poppy?”
“Yeah. She your girl?”
He snorted. “Shit no.”
“Why do you hang with her all the time then?”
“Her dad and mine are in the same club. She follows me around all the damn time, can’t get rid of her. It’s a nuisance really. She doesn’t mean anything to me… but you, you could.”
Bile rose. I clutched my stomach. Pain from his words cut me deeply over and over.
I wasn’t anything to him.
I meant nothing.
I was a nuisance.
God. It crippled me.
“Yeah?” she giggled.
“Oh, yeah
.” He kissed her.
Jerimiah kissed her.
And I ran.
And I kept running until I found myself at the Venom compound.
“Nothing,” I whispered harshly to myself. “I was nothing to him.” Sneaking into the kitchen, I went in search of something to drown my sorrows in. To make myself get lost so I couldn’t remember. I wanted to forget his words.
In the walk-in refrigerator, I grabbed the first bottle I saw, unscrewed it and took a big gulp. But then I heard footsteps, and then the door behind me opening wider.
Slowly, I turned, and dread filled me.
Switch. Jerimiah’s dad was standing there with a look in his eyes.
A look that scared me to my bones.
With tears streaking down my face, I quickly opened the front door and closed it, locking it. Mum jumped from the couch. “Poppy?”
I shook my head over and over.
Running to my room, I went in and paused. What did I do?
I had to get out of here.
“Poppy, what is it? What happened?” Mum asked, fear in her voice as she bolted into my room after me.
Turning, I grabbed her hand. “Mum, you have to help me. Please, please, help me.”
“What happened?”
“They’ll kill him. They’ll kill him, and we’ll lose them forever.”
Bile rose once again but because I was on the verge of panic. My mind was jumbled. I just wanted to shower, to hide, to scream.
“Who will kill who? Please, my star, talk to me.”
“I have to go away,” I said, stalking to my closet and grabbing my suitcase. I pulled it down and threw it on my bed. An idea popped in, a ray of hope through the desperation swirling inside. “Not long ago Aunt Maris said I could stay with her for a while, right? I have to go there.” Opening a drawer, I grabbed random clothes and threw them in the bag.
Mum took hold of my arm, dragged me around to face her, and placed her hands firmly on my shoulders. “Honey, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s going on.”
My tears welled, I sniffed. “Jerimiah… I heard him say some mean things about me to a girl.”
“He probably wasn’t thinking. He’s eighteen, honey, and fighting with himself over loving a younger girl.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. M-maybe I’ll get through the hurt one day, but right now, it doesn’t matter.”
“Why?”
Glancing to the floor, I sucked in a breath and blew it out. I then looked up to meet Mum’s concerned eyes. “I went to the compound to… I wanted a drink. Switch was there. H-he touched me, Mum.” She gasped. “Blackie helped me… got me away from him. But… Mum, if Jerimiah and Dad find out, they’ll kill him and we’ll lose them. I have to go.”
“No.” Her eyes shone with anger. It was so bright I had to look away. “We have to tell them—”
“No!” I cried. “Please, I can’t do that to them. They’ll go to jail. I won’t have that on me. I won’t. Blackie said it’s not the right time, but he’ll pay for it. Switch will pay, just not yet.”
Her eyes softened. “My star, they have a right—”
“And I have a right to protect them both. It’s what I want, Mum. Please help me help them.”
She frantically searched my face. Never had I begged my parents for anything, but with the need to protect two people I loved, I didn’t even hesitate, even when my insides were still dying from Jerimiah’s words. Still, there was no way I wouldn’t protect him. We’d been friends for so long, been through so much.
“All right,” Mum whispered. “I’ll call your aunt and organise it.”
My whole body sagged in relief. “Thank you.”
“You’re a beautiful soul, my star. So strong, and wise. I love you.”
“I love you, Mum.”
She kissed my forehead. “Pack. I’ll call, and we’ll leave early in the morning.”
“But Dad.”
“We have to tell him something, else he won’t let you go. Let me think on it. He’ll need to see you before you go.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
An hour later I was ready for my morning trip. I heard Dad arrive home and Mum calling for his attention. I went to my door and opened it a little.
“My moon, I have to talk to you about something.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Come sit for a moment.”
“Darlin’, you’re worrying me.”
“Poppy and Jerimiah had a fight. She’s very upset.”
He snorted. “She’ll get over it or he will.”
“This is different. She wants to go stay with my sister for a while, and I think it’s the best choice. They’re so young, Charlie. Made for each other, but too young. I think time apart will be good for them.”
“I don’t like it, Mary. Don’t like our girl away from us.”
“I know, and it’ll be hard, but for their future, we could at least give it a try for a while.”
“Shit. What did Jerimiah do so bad?”
“I can’t say. I promised Poppy I wouldn’t.”
“Just tell me if I need to put some hurt on him?”
Mum laughed. “No. Things will work out in the end.”
“All right, my sky. I trust you to know what you’re doing.”
The love I had for Mum at that moment was huge. Then again, it had always been big. But her having my back meant so much to me, and together, we protected Dad and Jerimiah.
Chapter Twelve
Poppy
Present
We stayed with Mum for over two hours, and when she started to get tired, we decided to leave. Not that we wanted to. But towards the end, she started to get confused about things, and in our own selfish way, we wanted to go so we had a good visit with Mum remembering us.
Guilt gnawed at the both of us for feeling that way; we’d spoken openly about it many times. Still, I would take the guilt times one hundred since we got to actually spend time with Mum and have her remember who we were.
Just as we pulled into the drive, Dad’s phone rang. He shut off the car, and answered it, “Yo?” He went silent, and then very still while he listened to whoever was on the other end. His brows dipped, and his hand on the steering wheel tightened.
Something was wrong.
“Got it. Yep. Right,” he answered, and then hung up.
“What happened?” I asked straight away.
“Let’s get inside.”
“Dad, what happened? Is it Jerimiah?”
“No, honey. Let’s get inside and we’ll talk.”
“Dad!”
“Fuck. Stubborn as me you are.” He sighed. “Honey, none of it’s your fault. Fang wanted me to confirm with you that you need to understand that.”
I froze.
“Honey?”
“What happened?” I asked coldly.
“There was a drive-by at the Hawks garage. They think it was Python, but they’re not sure yet.”
“Who?”
“Who what?”
“Who was hurt?” Or dead? But I couldn’t bring myself to ask that. Already I felt the need to vomit just knowing Python had targeted Hawks in a goddamn drive-by because of me.
“A brother of theirs was taken to hospital. It doesn’t look good. Another was shot in the shoulder.”
I closed my eyes, tipped my head back and banged it into the headrest. “All because of me. All because of me.”
“Poppy, honey,” Dad tried.
“No.” I stopped banging enough to shake my head and open my door. Leaping from the car, I ran to the house and managed to unlock it with my own set of keys even before Dad got close. I didn’t want his comfort. I didn’t deserve it. I’d got blood on my hands because Python picked me to claim, picked me to haunt and make my l
ife hell. In turn, I got people shot, and one was near death.
It was my fault.
Running for my room as Dad shouted my name, I got inside and slammed the door closed. After locking it, I grunted as I pushed my drawers in front of the door.
It was a childish move. To run and hide. But I had to be alone. I had to breathe, to think by myself.
Leaning my back against the drawers, I rubbed at my chest. Gripping my hair, I tried to calm myself down…. I couldn’t. Because of me, people bled.
People could die because of me.
“Poppy?” I heard muffled outside of my room.
“Please, please, please, just leave me alone.”
I needed to be alone. To breathe. To think and feel.
“Honey,” he pressed. “It’s not your—”
“No. Stop! It is. It is.”
How could anyone not see it? It was my fault. And how could they possibly forgive me?
Fang
In yet another meeting, we learned Blackie had confirmed it was Python’s vehicle used for the drive-by. Blackie had cut Python from the Venom Motorcycle Club, not wanting war with Hawks, and also, the motherfucker was a drug dealer looking to branch out into our territory.
He’d already been on our hit list, but the drive-by was the last straw.
Dodge called my name, breaking me from my thoughts. Moving my eyes from the table, I turned slightly to Dodge. “What?” I barked.
“You able to hold it together?”
The fucker scared and touched Poppy. He still wanted her and hadn’t liked Hawks being around her. He shot not one, but three brothers, leaving one in a bad way. Was I gonna be able to hold it together? No. But I’d fuckin’ try so I didn’t lose out on getting my chance with the cunt. “Yes,” I clipped my lie.
“Brother, know she’s been in your past—”
“She’ll be my future soon,” I declared.
“Until then, we know she’s somethin’ to you, and this Python guy wants her, but you gotta keep a clear head. Not only for you, but for her too.”
“I will,” I stated darkly. I had to keep it together until I got my hands on him.
“Isn’t her dad a Venom?” someone called out.
