Dreadful Summit

by Stanley Ellin

  I said, ‘No. But if he sees me there might be trouble right away, and I don’t want that to happen.’

  He said, ‘Hell, you’re the one that’s looking for trouble. Come on in and look him in the eye. Besides, I owe you that drink.’

  I couldn’t stand there and argue it out. I followed him into the bar, but I kept my hand tight on the gun and moved it a little to make sure it would slip out easy if I needed it.

  The first one I saw inside was Al Judge. There were some guys all along the bar drinking, and then it curved around until it hit the wall, and he was right in the corner by the wall with a drink in one hand and a pencil in the other writing on a piece of paper in front of him. You couldn’t miss him the way that white scarf stood out against the black coat, but I had to take a good look before I saw the handle of the cane hanging on the bar.

  When we went up to the bar, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Dr Cooper said, ‘For Christ sake, the way you’re looking at him, I think I’ll lay a bet on you. What have you been doing, training on raw meat?’

  Then the bartender came over and stood there with his hands resting on the bar and Dr Cooper said, ‘What’ll it be?’

  The way he said it and the way the bartender stood waiting made me feel good. Flanagan said nobody in the world can figure your age better than a bartender because if he makes a mistake they take his license away. Plenty of times I saw him chase away guys who looked like real big stuff only they were really kids, and he was never wrong. So when the bartender was waiting to give me a drink, I knew I would pass all right and that’s why I felt so good. And I knew what to say and do too, because when you hang around a bar all the time you pick up all the angles.

  I said, ‘I’ll take whatever you do,’ and Dr Cooper said to the bartender, ‘This is an occasion, general. Make it two Metaxas.’

  That was stuff my father never had, but I didn’t want to look dumb so I didn’t ask about it. I figured it was brandy because the bartender poured it into brandy glasses, the very little kind, and it must have cost plenty because Dr Cooper passed over a five-dollar bill and hardly got back any change at all. He picked up the glass and said, ‘To the Greeks,’ and started drinking it down slow. I started to do that but I didn’t like the taste, so I slugged it all down in one shot.

  It was strong all right. For a couple of seconds I couldn’t catch my breath, and when I did it felt like my face was on fire and I was hot inside all the way down to my belly. But it wasn’t the kind of hot you get from eating bad stuff. It was like all my juice was percolating and I was so strong I could squeeze my hand around the glass and break it into little pieces.

  I looked at Al Judge, the way he was writing on that piece of paper, and I started to figure I couldn’t wait much longer. If I went over and bumped into him or something he might start trouble and I could give it to him right there. Everybody would see he started it so it would be all right.

  Before I could figure it out better, Dr Cooper said, ‘How about another one, George?’ and I remembered about my ten dollars because it was my turn to treat. I mean, Dr Cooper gave me the ten dollars for the ticket so he knew I had it on me, but I didn’t have it. And I couldn’t tell him why not because it would sound dumb.

  I didn’t know what to say. I started poking my hands around in my pockets even though I knew there was nothing I could find except the nickel, and Dr Cooper hit me on the back and said, ‘Listen, George, this is a celebration, and it’s on me. Order up and skip the details.’

  I said, ‘Well, all right,’ like I meant to pay only he talked me out of it, and we had another and this time it went down easier. When I looked in the mirror in back of the bar I could see myself easy because I was almost a head taller than anybody else, and it felt good with the black hat pulled down, and the glass in my hand, and seeing the white scarf out of the corner of my eye and knowing the gun was in my pocket all ready to kill Al Judge. It felt terrific, and I almost laughed the way Al Judge was standing there just waiting for me to give it to him.

  Dr Cooper said, ‘If I didn’t have my lousy job to think about, George, I’d be in there with you all the way. There’s a job you have to see before you can appreciate it, George. Thirty characters sitting around waiting for you to turn them into Walter Lippmanns. Thirty Cinderellas, George, and I’m the fairy godmother. Christ!’

  I said, ‘It sounds like a good job. It sounds all right to me.’

  ‘Thirty characters. If they had your guts, George, do you know what they’d do? They’d get out and learn it the hard way. That’s what I tell them. Get out and be a man!’

  He put more money down and he had two right in a row, but this time he slugged them straight down. He thought for a long time and then he said, ‘Do you know what that Ph. D. cost? Fifteen hundred bucks. A fifteen-hundred-dollar investment. You buy them in Troy instead of life insurance.’

  I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about, but he looked like he wanted me to say something so I said, ‘Fifteen hundred dollars is a lot of money.’

  The bartender fixed us both up and we slugged it down together. Then after a while I saw Dr Cooper was talking. It was like his lips were moving only the words were coming from someplace else. He said, ‘Take your chances, George. That’s what you said, and I’m with you all the way. Just get in there and take those chances.’

  Everything was pretty rocky then, and I couldn’t remember saying anything like that, but I was glad Dr Cooper felt the way he did about it because then I wouldn’t have to get him after I got Al Judge. And when I thought about Al Judge, I turned to look at him, and there was the white scarf and the cane going back through the tables to where there was a men’s-room sign.

  I was holding on to the bar, and when I let go, my knees were all loose under me. That was the first I knew I was getting drunk, and I was glad I found out in time, because if I kept it up maybe Al Judge would have gotten away altogether. But I wasn’t really drunk so it was all right. My mind was working fine and I knew just what I was doing. I knew if Al Judge was alone in the men’s room, I could do the job right away and then it would be all over.

  I took a good grip on the gun and I walked back between the tables until I came to the men’s room. Then I pushed open the door and walked in. It took only one good look to tell I was alone with Al Judge all right.

  There was a long mirror on the side where you came in and under it were three sinks to wash your hands. On the opposite side were a couple of booths and a couple of standing places. The cane was hanging over the door of the last booth, and Al Judge was washing his hands in the sink.

  My mind was working a mile a minute. When I came in I felt the door and there wasn’t any lock I could snap to keep people out, but next to me was a big window that opened on to an alley. If something went wrong, I could be out that window in a second.

  I moved so my back was against the window, and I slipped the safety off the gun and started to pull it out of my pocket. All this time he was rubbing soap arsund his hands and each finger like I saw doctors in the movies when they get ready for an operation or something. He didn’t look around at me once.

  Then all of a sudden the door swung open and a guy came walking in right over to the middle sink so he stood between me and Al Judge. I hardly got the gun shoved back in my pocket when I saw the guy was the same one who got my ten dollars, and I started to tighten up again, the way I did when he had me pushed back against the radiator.

  He pulled up his coat sleeves a little, and then he saw Al Judge and said, ‘Hello, Al,’ and Al Judge said, ‘How’s everything, Peck?’

  The guy was slopping water all over his hands, not careful like Al Judge but any which way, and then he took a paper towel from the rack and said, ‘Can’t complain. How’d you like the fight?’

  Al Judge said, ‘It stunk,’ and he got a towel too, and started to dry his hands. All that time I stood by the window and didn’t move. I was afraid if I moved, this guy Peck would see me and start trouble. Then Al Ju
dge went out through the door and it happened just the way I was afraid it would. I took one step after him, and this guy got a good look at me and then quick shoved the door shut with his foot so he was standing in front of me with his back to the door. He said, ‘What is this, bud? Your hangout?’

  Maybe Al Judge would hang around the bar some more and maybe he wouldn’t, but I couldn’t take any chances on it. I reached around Peck for the doorknob, but he had his back jammed tight against it. I said, ‘Honest, Mr Peck, I’m not doing anything. I just came in to take a leak and I have to get out quick because I think my friend is waiting.’

  ‘My name is Peckinpaugh, bud.’

  ‘I didn’t know. I heard Mr Judge call you Peck so I thought that was your name. Please, Mr Peckinpaugh, I have to see my friend.’

  He pushed my hand away from the doorknob and said, ‘Don’t shove me around, bud. Don’t you know about me? I don’t like to have anybody shove me around.’

  I could see in my mind the way Al Judge was going out of the front door and going away some place where I couldn’t find him, and I started to tremble all over. Not from being scared, but just because I was so sore. I tried to grab the doorknob again and I said, ‘I’m not trying to shove you around. I just want to get out of here.’

  ‘I don’t like anybody to call me a liar either, bud,’ he said, and all of a sudden he slammed me right across the face with his hand. ‘What are you up to, bud? If you’re on the level, what are you sweating about?’

  I don’t remember in all my life anybody ever hit me like that. I was so surprised I just put my hand up there and I could almost feel my cheek swelling up under it.

  I yelled, ‘You got my ten bucks! Isn’t that enough! Why don’t you let me alone!’

  I saw from his face he was mad enough to kill me. He let go of my wrists to grab at the front of my overcoat with both hands, and that was all the chance I needed. Before he had his hands on me I had the gun out. I went back one step and swung the butt against his head as hard as I could: It shows how quick your mind can work, because when I went for the gun I only thought of shooting, but when I got it in my hand, I knew I couldn’t take a chance. Everybody in the bar would hear the noise.

  The butt of the pistol hit him right in the side of the head over the ear, and it sounded like a melon hitting the sidewalk. It evened us up all right, because he got the kind of surprised look I must have got when he hit me. Then he started to put his hand up there, but before he could do it he went down in a pile right at my feet.

  I grabbed hold of him by the collar. First I was going to stick him in one of the booths so it would look like he was there on business, but I was afraid it would take too long. I dragged him over to the window, and managed to hoist him through so he hit the alley with a bump. Then I slammed the window down.

  After that I saw I was doing everything with the gun still in my hand, and I put it back in my pocket quick. Then I opened the door and went up to the bar as fast as I could.

  Dr Cooper was there. He was in the same place, talking to a couple of guys with their heads all together and laughing. But no matter how I looked Al Judge was nowhere around.

  Chapter Ten

  WHEN I was a little kid I used to go to church parties at St Theresa, and they had a game called blindman’s buff. One kid would have a handkerchief around his eyes so he couldn’t see, and the other kids would run around and yell and make noise, and the kid who couldn’t see would have to catch one. I didn’t like it because my feet were big, and I couldn’t get out of the way so good, so I was ‘it’ more than anybody. And then in my head I could see how I must look, bumping around trying to catch somebody, and maybe all the time he was right in back of me. It made me feel dumb.

  And when I saw Al Judge was really gone that’s how I felt all over again. All I could think was Al Judge knew all the time what I was out for and he was making it into a game and I hated him for it. If he came back through the door then I would have given it to him one, two, three, and not even worried about the trouble it would get me into. I was in plenty of trouble anyhow, what with this guy laying out in the alley, maybe hurt bad, and Dr Cooper knowing too much about what I was figuring to do.

  All I wanted to do was get Al Judge in the right place and let him know what the score was and then kill him, but everything kept getting mixed up with it, like this Peckinpaugh and Dr Cooper. It was all because of that extra ticket too, because if I didn’t have the extra ticket I couldn’t sell it to Dr Cooper and get Peckingpaugh started. But the extra ticket was my father’s, so it was his fault for not being along with me. And the only reason he wasn’t along was because of what Al Judge did, so no matter how you looked at it, it all came back to Al Judge.

  What I had to do was get started after Al Judge again and not hang around in Tuffy’s to figure it out, because somebody might find Peckinpaugh any minute. I went over to where Dr Cooper was talking and laughing with the two men, but before I could say anything he saw me and started waving his hand back and forth in front of my face.

  ‘I know everything, George. Everything. You got him in there. Aha, you rat; this one is for the working class. Bango! One punch and it’s all over. How about it, George? Can we take a look at the remains now? One punch, hey, George?’

  The way he talked I knew he was pretty drunk, and I was scared he wouldn’t even know what I was talking about. I said, ‘He got away. Now I have to find him again. Where do you think he went?

  The two others guys were a little drunk but not as much as Dr Cooper, and they were listening and looking at me. One of them was a big blond guy, bigger than me even, with sort of loose skin over his face and pockmarks all over it. He said, ‘Who is this guy?’ and Dr Cooper said, very serious, ‘Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. This is George LaMain, the surly Rover. Mr Olsen. Mr Greenspan.’

  Mr Olsen was the big guy and he didn’t say anything, just made the okay sign with his fingers, but Mr Greenspan shook my hand and said, ‘Don’t mind Coop. He’s pickled. What was that name again?’

  He was a little tubby guy, and he didn’t have any hat on, so I could see he was bald just like Flanagan, only with black hair all around the edges instead of white. He looked all right to me so I said, ‘George LaMain.’

  He looked up at the ceiling and started rubbing his fingers all over his bald spot. ‘LaMain. LaMain. Where the hell do I remember that name from? It goes back about twelve, fifteen years.’

  Dr Cooper patted me on the chest about ten times and said, ‘Mr Greenspan is a reporter for the Times. The man with the photographic memory. He remembers everything back to the day Horace Greeley started the paper.’

  Mr Greenspan said, ‘You ought to be ashamed, Professor. Horace Greeley never started the Times,’ and Mr Olsen said, ‘He started the News.’

  Dr Cooper said, ‘Hell, no. That was Aaron Burr,’ and they all started laughing together so Dr Cooper didn’t even see the way I was shaking him by the shoulder.

  I said, ‘Look, I have to find Al Judge. He went away from here. Don’t you even know where he might go now?’

  They all slowed down laughing, and Mr Olsen said, ‘What do you want him for? Did the paper send you out for him?’

  ‘No, I just want to find him, that’s all. Do you know where he is?’

  Dr Cooper said, ‘It’s important. It’s the most important thing in the world. George is going to track him to his lair, then bango! the kill. That’s why it’s important.’

  The way it sounded made me so mad I forgot all about him being a professor or anything. I yelled, ‘Why don’t you shut up!’ and I pushed him as hard as I could up against the bar. It didn’t even bother him. He just started laughing, but Mr Olsen said, ‘Lay off the rough stuff. What the hell are you so hot about anyhow?’

  I said, ‘I’m not hot. I just want to know where Al Judge is, that’s all.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘He had me fired off my job for no reason and I want to get even with him. That’s why.’

 
‘You’re nuts. If there’s no reason, why don’t you take it up with the Guild?’

  Now I was all mixed up. I said, ‘I just want to get even with him, that’s all.’

  Mr Greenspan said, ‘Judge has gone haywire, all right. And you know what? It’s all on account of that business with his sister, that’s what.’

  Dr Cooper said, ‘Oh, that sister. That lovely, lovely sister. He should have married her ten years ago,’ and Mr Greenspan said, ‘What kind of talk is that? He don’t have a wife, who else should he worry about?’

  Mr. Olsen said to me, ‘What the hell. Why don’t you call up the Press and ask them? If he’s going back there, they ’ll probably know it, and if he ain’t, they might give you a tip where to find him.’

  The way I was talking and all excited I forgot all about my legs and how loose my knees were, but when I started going to the telephone booth, I felt like the floor was all hills and a couple of times they weren’t there when I was ready for them. And it was hard looking up the number in the telephone book, too, but I finally got it and dialed. It was a good thing I had that nickel.

  After a while somebody said, ‘Daily Press,’ and I said, ‘Is Mr Judge there, please?’

  ‘Mr Judge? Sports department?’

  I said, ‘Yes,’ and then there was a long wait, so I got scared my nickel wouldn’t be enough. Then somebody else said, ‘Sports,’ and I said, ‘Is Mr Judge there?’

  The voice said, ‘No, he’s not,’ and I said, ‘Well, look, is he coming back tonight? I mean, it’s very important.’

  The guy said, ‘Hold the wire,’ and then right away he came back and said, ‘Yes, do you want to leave a message for him?’

  I felt so good I didn’t even know what I was saying. I said, ‘No. It’s okay. That’s all right,’ and then I hung up the phone.

  I went back to the bar and right off I said to Mr Greenspan, ‘He’s going back to the office. Do you know how long he’ll stay there? When do you think he’ll come out?’