Kiss, Kiss Killian (Killian and Lucy Book 1)

by Anna Antonia

  “You’ll have to be more specific.”

  “Don’t play dumb, Lucy. My patience ran out as soon as I walked into that shithole.”

  “Like I said—I was doing my job.”

  “Dealing with Russian mobsters was not on the list, Miss Martin. How did you even know them?”

  She hissed, head jerking from one side to the other. “Keep your voice down!”

  Even though the logical side of me felt differently, I didn’t care if anyone was watching or listening. I was that mad.

  “Tell me I’m wrong.”

  Lucy’s entire countenance changed. It smoothed out, looking more like the mask she’d worn for the past three days. Nothing like the girl who made deals with Russian mobsters. A polite smile graced her pouty lips. “You know stereotypes help no one.”

  Keeping my voice just as soft as hers, I repeated, “Tell me I’m wrong.”

  Lucy couldn’t because I was right. Instead she said, “I had a connection that put me in touch. One that you almost burned.”

  The nerve of this woman! She should’ve been eaten up with guilt. Even a little bit would go a long way in easing my anger. Did I get a drop? No. Instead, she wasted her time defending the indefensible.

  “Considering you paid them eleven hundred dollars, of my money I might add, I can burn whatever the hell I want.”

  “That would’ve been very inconvenient for me and very stupid for you, Killian.”

  “What I know is you had no business being there.”

  “I was there for you.”

  “I never asked for you to do this! Where on that list did I say for you to leave the state? Can you show me? Is it on there? No? Come on, Miss Lucy, we don’t have all day.”

  Her luscious mouth caved in on itself. “One day your attitude is going to get you in so much trouble that you’ll never be able to dig your way out.”

  “Aww, it almost sounds like you care.”

  “I do.”

  “Bullshit. You’re doing all of this for a paycheck.”

  “Not going to deny that, but there’s more to it for me than that.”

  “Sure. Right.”

  Lucy hissed, swiping one hand across her temple. I heard her muttered prayer for help as she covered her eyes.

  If anyone should’ve been praying for divine intervention, it should’ve been me! Seeing Lucy there in that shop with those gangsters…dammit! Anything could’ve happened to her and there wouldn’t have been a fucking thing she could’ve done about it.

  Nothing I could’ve done about it.

  Jorge was good, the best even, but he should’ve never put her in that situation.

  But he didn’t. It was me, wasn’t it?

  No. She wasn’t going to get in my head. This was her fault. Not mine. Lucy didn’t do this for me. She did it to me. She wanted to rub her victory in my face just to prove she was the better human being and I was the devil who made her go to such extremes.

  None of this was my fault.

  Sure about that?

  Lucy dropped her arm and straightened her shoulders. The frustration smoothed out again, leaving an angelic expression behind. Yes, she definitely thought I was the devil.

  “I didn’t run all over the place today just to fulfill my job.”

  “No. You did it to rub it in my face.”

  She had the good grace to look a tiny bit abashed. “Not just that.”

  “Sure.”

  “No, for real. I did it to show you that I’m not against you, Killian King. I want to help you, make you happy just long enough for you to see that there can be more to life than what you’ve lived. You don’t have to push everyone away. There are people who want to help. I want to help.”

  Releasing Lucy, I took a step back. Her useless optimism was in danger of infecting me.

  If there was any hint of lying, I’d shred right into her without remorse. Hell, I still wanted to. But the terrible part of this melodrama was she truly believed her words.

  What was I supposed to do with this woman?

  Be kind? Be nasty? Be me?

  “Look, Lucy. I get you mean that. Truly, I do. However, my life is fine. My grandfather spun you a tale that’s in his head. It has no basis in reality. I don’t need saving.”

  “I don’t believe that.” Lucy erased space between us. “Who are you closest to?”

  No one.

  “Why do you want to know?”

  “You can’t answer, can you?”

  “Can you?”

  “Mr. Luis and Mr. Victor.”

  The two old men waiting for her to come home from work. The image of them sent a phantom pain through my heart. I could still remember Mom lighting up every time I walked through the door, no matter how sick she was…

  “No one your own age?”

  “No one finer than them.”

  “What about your connection? Is that a close enough friend? I’d think so. After all, you came to him when you needed help the most.”

  Jealousy and frustration crackled inside. Her connection was probably a man, one who cared more about keeping illicit ties to the Russian mafia than keeping Lucy safe.

  Worse than that was the feeling she should’ve came to me for help. Not some other man.

  Dios mio! What was happening to me? What had she done?

  Unaware of the anger burning me to a crisp, Lucy dared to touch my arm. “Don’t change the subject. Stay right here with me.”

  “Lucy, let it go. Truly…it’s…it’s so boring.”

  “I don’t want to. I know you don’t have any reason to believe me or my intentions, but I’m not here to judge you. You have your reasons for how you deal with things. I get it. Really. I just…I just want you to know I’m not here to hurt you. I swear.”

  Good God. You really believe that. You poor, deluded fool.

  The earnest look on her face, the softness in her gaze, all of it reminded me of things best forgotten.

  “Stop.”

  “Killian, you don’t have to trust me right now. I’m not asking that. Can you just…”

  Lucy’s voice died off. I knew the words she lost, could give them life, but I didn’t want to. I was not a charity case. Nor was I something to be fixed. I just wanted to be left alone.

  And yet…

  What if I gave Lucy what she wanted? What if I thanked her for her efforts? Would it make her happy? Happy enough to forget why she was really here?

  Did it matter to me if she was pleased?

  Yes.

  Unacceptable.

  Things spiraled faster than I could catch them. I wouldn’t allow Lucy to contaminate me with unnecessary emotions. I didn’t want to be soft. Not now.

  Not ever.

  Bring it back on track. Go on as if she hadn’t been a fool. Let her save face.

  I cleared my throat. “Don’t ever put yourself in this kind of position again, Lucy. Be smarter than tangling with the Russian mafia.”

  She leaned into me, sharp as an arrow. “What did I just tell you? Don’t talk about that out loud, understand? You never know who’s listening.”

  “Whatever.”

  Lucy bit her lip and looked away. A sad smile came and went. “That’s all you have to say?”

  “What else is there?”

  I disappointed her. What else was new? The tightness in my chest? Always there.

  But I lose it, just for a bit, when she’s around.

  Dangerous. Stupid. Wrong.

  “Okay. We are where we are.” A beat passed. Then another. She tightened her luscious, oh-so-luscious, mouth and met my gaze. Bold. Angry. “And just to be clear—you weren’t supposed to see that. You were supposed to be in your office, waiting for your loot. And one more thing—I wasn’t in trouble until you got there. You’re the one who made it a problem.”

  “Normally people say thank you for having their asses saved.”

  “You’re so arrogant! You didn’t save me. I saved you.” Lucy shoved past me, heading straight back for
the car.

  “We’re not done.”

  “Well, I am!”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m hungry, tired, and my feet hurt. It’s a long ride back, traffic is going to be backed up, and I’m just not in the mood, Killian.”

  Lucy would’ve left me standing there, looking like a jilted fool. Not on my damned watch.

  I zoomed past her and got to the car first. Resting with my back against the door, I waited for my annoying goddess. She reached me, tired expression fully on her beautiful face. No angel now.

  “Mr. King, get out of the way.”

  “Now I’m Mr. King. What happened to Killian?”

  Lucy took a deep breath and pivoted to the right. I neatly blocked her.

  “Move!”

  “Admit you were wrong.”

  “No.”

  I had exactly what I wanted—Lucy defeated and unwilling to keep pestering me with her ill-advised crusade. Yet, some twisted part of me couldn’t stop engaging. I didn’t want her defeated. I wanted her…

  There was nothing to fill that space. I just wanted her.

  “Lucy, you were wrong and you should apologize.”

  She laughed. It was a caustic thing that got under my skin.

  “I’ll apologize when you apologize to your grandfather.”

  How did she dare bring him up? Balls bigger than the moon—that was how!

  “Careful, Miss Martin. You’re skating on thin ice.”

  Her smug smile had no right to come between us. She thought she had me figured out? Cornered? She thought we were on the same level?

  Wrong.

  “You first.”

  “My apologies would take us into the next century. Yours will only take a couple of seconds. Apologize, Lucy, and I’ll let you in the car.”

  She stared me straight in the face and said, “That’s okay. I’ll walk.”

  Lucy turned on her heel and did just that.

  What just happened and how did Lucy get the upper hand?

  Twenty-one, twenty-two…

  I could just let her go. Be finished. Done with this stupid charade. She had better things to do and I sure as hell did too.

  Twenty-six, twenty-seven…

  Gritting my teeth, I stalked a straight line to the delectable thorn in my side. She was going to be stuck in me a little while longer…

  14

  LUCY

  I wasn’t going to make it. Honestly.

  Killian King was too much for me. Spoiled, rich, hateful, arrogant, and far more trouble than this job was worth.

  Did he honestly think I was going to beg him for a ride back home? I needed to add insane to his list of flaws.

  And when he busted in on my deal? Oh dear God, I thought I was going to pass out. Killian came from a privileged background. He had no idea what street life was like nor did he understand the rules.

  We were lucky today that those particular Volkovs had a good relationship with my contact. Otherwise, I would’ve been making a call for an emergency dentist to put Killian’s teeth back in his mouth.

  I heard his steady footfalls behind me. Of course, he wouldn’t let this go. Killian didn’t humiliate me enough.

  Or hurt. Don’t forget about that one.

  I thought about speeding up, maybe turning into the CVS on my right, but I didn’t. I was done playing Killian King’s games for the day.

  I just wanted to go home, eat some leftover ropa vieja, and then take a long bubble bath. And forget about how bad my employer’s grandson really was…

  “Lucy, I’m not going to chase you all over town. I’ve done it enough today.”

  That voice! Silken, nearly sweet, if not for the ever-present tinge of spite and cruelty.

  “Then don’t. I’m not asking you to do anything but leave.”

  He stopped. Against my better judgment, so did I.

  “Are you done?”

  There was more weight to his question than just the present circumstances.

  Was I done?

  I could turn in my resignation to Mr. King and chalk this up to a situation beyond my control. After all, what could I do with a man who refused to even accept or acknowledge anyone else’s efforts?

  One who’d have the nerve to criticize the methods I used to fulfill his ridiculous list!

  One who looked at the olive branch I held and let it fall to the ground.

  One who didn’t want my help.

  It shouldn’t have hurt this much, but it did. It kicked up all my dirt, uncovering things I’d rather not ever think about again. My mom, dad, aunts, finally hitting the wall…

  Change the channel. Break the damn TV.

  All that stuff was in the past. Besides, Killian was enough for today.

  Right? Definitely.

  That still left me with him. Okay, maybe I was a fool but I didn’t expect much. A thank you at the least, but not what I got.

  Ungratefulness, lecturing, a scare that still made my legs shake.

  Again, was I done?

  If I was I’d never have to see this beautiful devil ever again. Never hear the seductive roll of syllables that made my name…

  Luuu-Seee.

  And how could you forget about him lifting you up and kissing you?

  I couldn’t. Not for one second. Even now my lips tingled.

  It was only a moment, barely even that, but Killian’s kiss had me on lockdown. I still felt the impression of his beautiful mouth against mine. My fingertips ached to touch my lips, to trace them.

  It was just pretend, a way to get us out of the shop in one piece, and maybe a dig at me. Nothing real.

  But I’d swear Killian felt the shock of contact…

  No. No. No!

  I wasn’t going to let my body or misplaced fantasies control me. It couldn’t count as a kiss because it wasn’t really real. Make believe.

  Mr. King’s voice came back to haunt me. It was just what I needed to dull the throbbing in my body.

  “I need someone who can keep him on the right path. Someone to show him there’s a different way than the life he’s been living. Not judging him, but understand him and why he is this way. I believe you are that person.”

  That was the problem. I did judge Killian. Me, who knew better! I judged him against my past, against all the people who hurt me. He became the face of my suffering, but it started long before I knew his name.

  It wasn’t fair to him. It wasn’t fair to me either.

  If I ran away now, if I turned my back on this man, I’d spend the rest of my life feeling guilt for quitting. For giving up on someone who clearly needed help. I wasn’t built that way and I let my confusing attraction mess up my purpose.

  That wasn’t his fault either. (Although I’d really like to blame him for being so stupidly handsome. It wasn’t fair. Really.)

  So was I done?

  Not in this lifetime.

  Turning around, I looked Killian straight in the eye. “No.”

  “Really? That’s too bad.” His smirk made my palm itch. Just one smack, that was all I needed to set him right.

  I remade my decision and I wasn’t going to back out just because Killian King had more hatefulness, thoughtlessness, and spite in him than decency. I’d been warned already so this shouldn’t come as a surprise.

  Besides, so what if he didn’t say thank you or even cared at all about the work I’d done today? It was enough that I’d known. I didn’t need this man-child to pat me on the head. I was above that and definitely above his games.

  He wasn’t going to get a rise out of me again. My pride would burn me into ash before that happened.

  Right? Right.

  “Now what, Killian? Can I look forward to more days like this?”

  Hold. Up. What happened to my pride? And how did the hurt come out to say hello?

  “Hell no. You’re liable to get us both thrown in jail.”

  Stomach punch.

  “What…what do you mean?”

  �
�You know possessing this stuff you bought today is a crime, Lucy. Felony level. Get rid of it. Better yet—I’ll throw it away as soon as I drop you off. And don’t say I don’t have to. I already know that.”

  I loathed how casual comments hit too close to the locked box I kept in the back of my mind. Loathed it with every fiber of my constructed being. Fear curdled deep in my belly.

  “Do whatever you want.”

  Such effort to sound unaffected! Bored even.

  “Thanks for the permission.”

  I’d just promised myself not to let him get under my skin and yet I snapped, “You just can’t help it, can you?”

  “Nope.”

  Killian’s unrepentant grin had a way of taking the edge off. It was going to be okay. He didn’t know anything. I was fine. I didn’t have to be afraid. What happened was a long time ago. A lifetime in fact. People changed for the better. I was proof.

  Slow breath in, hold it, slow breath out.

  Okay. I could do this. I was here on a sidewalk, moon coming out overhead, chill in the air. Killian in front of me. Today was today. I was fine. Safe. My past was just that.

  “We’ve kept Jorge waiting long enough, don’t you think?”

  I sound normal. Good.

  He shrugged. “Hmm…he can wait longer. In fact, I’ve got a perfect way to punish him. Come on.”

  Killian didn’t wait for me to go with him. He took control by putting his arm around my waist and propelling me forward. Pleasure hummed through me, filing away more of my edges. Especially ones created by fear.

  “You like to punish people when you think they step out of line?”

  “But of course! How else will they learn?”

  “Then who punishes you?”

  Killian dipped his head until his lips hovered by my ear. “When you figure out that answer then you’ll have me figured out.”

  If only it was that easy!

  “I still stand by what I said. Jorge isn’t to blame. You are.”

  “Duly noted.”

  Killian reached the idling vehicle. Jorge got out, awaiting his fickle employer’s instructions. He didn’t seem the least bit alarmed or nervous. Which meant Killian was all bark and no bite or he was used to it.

  I only needed one guess to answer that question.

  “Jorge, have a good drive back to the city. I hope every toll is backed up and you hit every traffic jam.”