ALoveSoDeep

by Lili Valente

  “Your mom was angry with me,” Caitlin says. “She said she only put up with having me around because she hoped I would convince you to have the surgery, but that she should have known better. She said she never should have trusted a girl who could fall in love with the heartless person you’d become. She thought the tumor had changed you, made you…ruthless and cold. I think those were the words she used.”

  I grunt. “Amusing that she could accuse someone else of being ruthless with a straight face.”

  Caitlin turns to me, her brow furrowed. “But she did. And she was really upset. She was crying her eyes out, just…shattered. I never doubted for a second that you were really dead, not until Sherry started trying to find out where you were being buried, and the pieces didn’t add up.”

  “So I’m guessing getting me on the plane to Michigan wasn’t an easy job.”

  Caitlin’s frown deepens. “They might have drugged you or something.”

  “Seems extreme, but after learning they dumped half a million dollars on a house in Hawaii…” I curl my fingers into Caitlin’s hip as I turn the chair away from the desk to face the window, where the moon is rising. “But I still have no idea why. They could have kidnapped me, and taken me to the clinic, but the doctors wouldn’t have operated without my consent. And why would I give consent in a situation like that, without at least calling you first?”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t know, but until we do, you need to stay away from Darby Hill. And we have to make sure your parents don’t know the kids and I are in town. I was considering having the kids skip the funeral anyway, because it will be so upsetting, but now I’m definitely having them stay with Sherry.”

  “What about you?” I ask. “My parents know what you look like.”

  She curses. “I know. And with your dad being so big in the law community, I don’t know how I’m going to find a lawyer to represent me without him finding out about it.”

  “We’ll hire someone from Charleston if it comes time to lawyer up,” I say. “But I’ve been thinking about this thing with your sister, and I think we should make sure we’ve exhausted all our options first. A woman with her history must have a few skeletons in her closet she won’t want the court finding out about.”

  Caitlin’s cocks her head, shooting me a look out of the corner of her eye. “So you think we should do recon? Look into this perfect new life in Florida? See if we can find any holes in her story?”

  “I do, and I think you should skip the funeral. My parents were acting very interested in whether or not I planned to attend. They may come by to check on the festivities.”

  “I’ll go get a hat with a veil tomorrow morning, or something to cover my hair and face,” she says. “No matter how mad I am at Chuck right now…he was my dad, and I don’t want to miss his funeral. At the end, he was sorry for what he did.”

  “Too little, too late,” I say, having no empathy for anyone involved in this deception.

  “Not really. I might not have come back for the funeral if it hadn’t been for the emails he sent. But your parents aren’t sorry, Gabe. I want you to be careful.”

  “You’re afraid they’re dangerous.” I clench my jaw, the thought of my parents ripping Caitlin and me apart again making me want to pack our bags and leave Giffney tonight.

  “I know they’re dangerous,” she says. “Do you have anywhere you could tell them you’re going where they won’t ask questions? A friend’s house, or something?”

  I shake my head. “I’ll just get a room at the hotel where you’re staying.”

  “Okay, but you’ll need a story to tell your parents, and we’ll have to park your car somewhere else,” she says. “Just in case they decide to check on you. Surely you have someone you can count on to keep a secret, or who will at least let you park your car in their driveway.”

  I make a face, because there is only one person I can think of, and I burned that bridge on the way to Caitlin’s hotel.

  “What?” she asks, a smile teasing the edges of her lips. “Is it a girl?”

  I shrug, and Caitlin laughs.

  “Call her. If you were really just friends, she might still be cool.”

  “And you’d be cool with that?” I ask, lifting a brow.

  “I’m cool with anything that keeps you safe, and with me.” She kisses me and I know it’s true. I can feel it in the way her tongue teases across my top lip before slipping into my mouth, in the way she melts against me when I pull her closer. She knows I belong to her, body and soul.

  “Just call her,” she says, kissing me between the words. “Then we can go get the rental van from the hotel, and get things taken care of before it gets too late.”

  I pull reluctantly away from her addictive lips. “I’ll call now. She lives in an apartment building, and they clean the streets every few days. I’ll have to drop off the keys so she can move the car if she needs to.”

  “Perfect,” Caitlin says. “And if we hurry, we’ll still have time to christen the bed in your new hotel room when we get back.”

  I’m up and out of the chair with my phone to my ear in seconds, the chance to get Caitlin in a bed more than enough motivation to get my ass in gear.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Caitlin

  Gabe’s fuck buddy answers on the second ring and seems eager to help which is partly a relief, and partly…worrisome.

  I have a hard time believing this woman would be so amenable if there weren’t more emotions on her side than Gabe’s. Still, I decide to go with him to hand over the keys. It would be less awkward for me to stay in the van, but I don’t want to let Gabe out of my sight. I realize I’m being paranoid, but I just got him back. I don’t want to risk him disappearing on me again.

  I park the van behind Gabe’s Beamer and join him on the sidewalk, slipping my hand into his as the door to the apartment building opens, and two pretty women dressed in jean shorts and tank tops step out. One is tall, with stick straight brown hair to her waist, and clever brown eyes that look familiar. I’ve met her at least once, though I can’t pinpoint where, but I know immediately that the brunette isn’t Gabe’s girl. His is the petite blonde, with the big blue eyes, the one, who except for the eye color, natural kink in her hair, and much bigger boobs, could easily be my twin.

  My jaw drops. The resemblance is that uncanny, and I know the other girl sees it, too. She does a double take and casts a meaningful look at her friend, who makes a vaguely disgusted sound I know is intended for Gabe’s ears.

  “Hello, Kimmy,” Gabe says with a smile, apparently the only one who doesn’t feel intensely awkward. “This is Caitlin. Caitlin, Kimmy.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I say, though it certainly isn’t. At all.

  “You too,” Kimmy says, but her eyes barely flicker in my direction before she turns back to her friend. “This is Mona. She just started working at the bar. We were headed out for late night pizza when you called.”

  “What’s up?” Mona lifts her chin, but doesn’t extend a hand. She obviously isn’t thrilled to be in the middle of this, and I can’t say I blame her. I wish I’d stayed in the van and never met Kimmy, or her intimidating chest.

  “Here are the keys,” Gabe says, holding them out to Kimmy. “Feel free to drive the car if you want. I know sometimes the Chevy isn’t the most reliable mode of transportation.”

  Kimmy takes the keys, her fingers caressing Gabe’s for a split second that is nevertheless long enough to make me nauseous. “Cool. Thanks. Oh, and I have a few of your things upstairs. I boxed them up. Should I go get them, or—”

  “If the door’s unlocked, I can go,” Gabe says, moving past her before I can make eye contact and silently beg him not to leave me alone.

  “Sure, go ahead.” Kimmy waves a slender arm covered in silver bracelets. “That way you can check for anything I might have missed. The box is next to the door.”

  “Be right back.” Gabe shoots me a smile I don’t return before he turns and practically sprint
s up the stairs. I appreciate his effort to be hasty, but I would have rather avoided being left to make conversation with the girl he was fucking, and her friend.

  “You’re Caitlin Cooney, right?” Mona asks, confirming we must know each other.

  “I am,” I say, forcing a smile. “But I’m sorry, I don’t remember where we’ve met.”

  “It’s okay. It was only once, at Frank’s Pies, when you came in to say goodbye to Isaac.” She shrugs. “I work part time in the kitchen. I only remember you because Isaac left to go live with you not too long after, and his mom hasn’t shut up about it since.” She glances over her shoulder and turns back with an arched brow. “But I guess you and Isaac aren’t together anymore? So maybe he’ll be moving back?”

  “Um, no, we’re not together,” I say, cursing my bad luck. I would run into someone who knows Isaac. “But I don’t think he plans to move back. He’s working for the Maui police department, and really enjoys his job.”

  “A cop.” Kimmy blinks her big blue eyes. “That’s quite a switch from Gabe, huh?”

  I pull a face, pretending I have no idea what she’s talking about, even as I wonder how much Gabe has told her about how we used to be together.

  “You know, he’s not exactly your typical nice guy,” Kimmy says. “But he’s been through a lot. It was hard on him, going through surgery alone.”

  I feel the barb in the words, but I’m not about to defend myself. Not to her, not after everything Gabe and I have been through, so I just shrug and say, “Life’s been hard for a lot of people this past year.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Kimmy nods, the accusing expression on her face making it clear she’s not ready to let this go. “I’ve been there when Gabe wakes up screaming. It’s not pretty.”

  “Well, you won’t have to deal with that anymore,” I say sweetly, a barb in my words this time, one that I know both women hear.

  Mona shifts her weight uncomfortably, as if she’s worried a short blond girl fight is about to break out on the sidewalk, but I have no intention of lifting a finger against Kimmy. She’s helping Gabe, and Gabe didn’t know I was alive when they were together. I have no animosity toward this woman. I just want to get rid of Gabe’s keys, and get back to a place where we can be alone. I’ll hold him when he wakes up screaming tonight, and every night, for the rest of our lives if I have to. But I have a feeling neither of us will be suffering through those kinds of dreams anymore. Our nightmare is over.

  Or almost over, as soon as we get to the bottom of the mystery with his parents, and get the hell out of South Carolina.

  “Thanks for helping Gabe out,” I say, in an attempt to defuse the situation. “We both appreciate it.”

  “Of course,” Kimmy says. “I’m here whenever he needs me.”

  The fact that I am excluded from this transaction in her mind is obvious, but I don’t care. By helping Gabe, she’s helping me, whether she wants to or not.

  Gabe hurries out the door a moment later with a box in his arms. His breath is coming fast, making it clear he did his best to hurry, and the concern in his eyes banishes any irritation I felt at being abandoned. We bid Mona and Kimmy a quick good-bye and head back toward the van, while the two women hurry down the street, clearly equally eager to end our meeting.

  I walk down the sidewalk beside Gabe, stealing a glance into the box, which appears to contain male toiletries, a few tee shirts, and a couple of pairs of boxer shorts. No cell phone charger, or iPad, two things I know Gabe wouldn’t be without if he had ever stayed over for more than a night or two at a time.

  “Sorry about that,” he says. “I thought it would be faster if I went upstairs. Kimmy’s not the sort to get in a hurry.”

  “Neither is Isaac,” I say with a sniff, not saying a word when Gabe hip checks me as we reach the van.

  “I thought you weren’t jealous,” he says, leaning against the passenger’s door.

  I cross my arms. “That was before I saw my twin with the gigantic boobs.”

  Gabe frowns. “Twin? She looks nothing like you.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” I snort.

  “I’m not,” he says, sounding confused. “You’re a thousand times prettier, and your breasts are the most beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen. They’re the perfect size, the perfect shape, and only slightly less stunning than your pussy.”

  I roll my eyes, but I can’t keep from grinning, because I can tell he means every word. “Fine, but you’re an idiot if you can’t see the similarities.”

  “I’m not an idiot.” He leans into me, brushing a kiss across my forehead. “I’m very clever, and forward-thinking, except when it comes to other people we’ve slept with. That just makes me sad, so I’d rather not talk about that any more, if that’s all right.”

  “It’s better than all right,” I say, grin slipping. “I wish there hadn’t been anyone else. I wish I’d never been with anyone but you.”

  “Me too,” he says, setting the box on the edge of the sidewalk and reaching for me. “I’ve never done it right with anyone else, anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” I come into his arms, hooking my wrists behind his neck, marveling all over again that we fit so perfectly together.

  “It should mean something…everything,” he says, sending warmth spreading through my chest. “After tonight, I don’t think I could get it up for something like what I had with Kimmy. You are the only woman I ever want to be with.”

  “Good.” I stand on tiptoe, pressing a kiss to his chin. “Because I’ll be hanging on to you.”

  Gabe hugs me until I grunt. “Hang on tight.”

  “I plan to.” I seal the words with a kiss, but I don’t really think I’ll have to cling too tightly. Even after all we’ve been through, I’m still stupid enough to think the worst is over, a belief that would soon be proved very, very wrong.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Gabe

  “I love you more than words can wield the matter,

  Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty.”

  -Shakespeare

  The next time we make love is slow and sweet. I come into Caitlin with my heart so full it feels like it’s about to burst, and by the time we shatter—within seconds of each other, our cries muffled by a kiss—I am even more hers than I was before.

  I am a part of her, and she is a part of me, and I am home.

  After, I’m more exhausted than I can remember being since the surgery, but I stay awake as long as I can. I lie with my eyes open in the dark, staring at the flat white paint of the hotel ceiling, memorizing the miracle that is Caitlin asleep on my chest, before I finally drift off around two in the morning.

  When the pounding on the door comes three hours later, it feels like I’ve only been out for a few minutes. Caitlin is up and out of bed, tugging on my gray tee shirt, and hurrying across the room before I’ve managed to lift my head from the pillow. She cracks the door, sending a shaft of light piercing through the gloom to fall across the foot of the bed.

  I hear an urgent mumble from outside, then Caitlin whispering something soft and reassuring, and then a voice that sounds like Danny’s saying—

  “No, now, Caitlin. I’m fucking worried. I need to go.”

  I swing out of bed, running a hand down my sleep-slack face as I move to join Caitlin at the door, but she shuts it just before I reach her side, plunging the suite back into semi-darkness.

  “What’s wrong?” I draw her into my arms, relishing the fresh-from-bed warmth of her body.

  “Danny just got off the phone with his girlfriend in Hawaii,” she says, resting her cheek on my chest with a sigh. “Her parents are getting a divorce, and she’s really upset. He’s saying he wants to fly back right now, but there’s no way I can let him fly alone, not when there’s no one there to meet him at the airport.”

  “Isn’t it the middle of the night there?” I ask, trying to calculate the time difference with my brain still only semi-functional.

  “Yes,” Cai
tlin says, yawning. “That’s part of why Danny’s so upset. Sam’s never called him so late. Or early…whatever time it is.” She hugs me tight before pressing a kiss to the center of my bare chest. “I’m going to put on some shorts and see if I can settle him down before he wakes Sherry, and the rest of the kids. Go back to sleep.”

  “No, I’ll come help,” I say, running my hands up her hips, underneath my tee shirt to circle her waist. “But I’ll need to reclaim my shirt first.”

  She laughs. “No way. It’s soft and comfortable, and it smells like you.”

  I smile and pull her in for a kiss, touched that she loves the smell of me as much as I love the smell of her. She is my favorite smell. If I could smell nothing but Caitlin scent for the rest of my life, I would consider myself a lucky man.

  “Besides, I think I should handle this alone,” she continues, mumbling the words against my lips before she pulls away from the kiss. “At least at first. Danny likes you a lot, but he isn’t comfortable with having feelings, let alone having feelings around someone he hasn’t seen in a while.”

  I nod and reluctantly let her slip from my arms. “All right. But come get me when you need me. I’ll help any way I can.”

  “Thanks,” she squeezes my hand. “Be back soon.”

  I return to bed, certain I won’t be able to fall back asleep in a lonely room with no Caitlin in it, but I do. I sleep and dream of the morning I woke up from the surgery, when the sun was sifting through the filmy curtains of my hospital room, painting the world in miracle colors, but for some reason all I could feel was fear, sadness, and the overwhelming certainty that something so much more important than a chunk of my brain had been lost.

  When I wake, my throat is tight and my jaw clenched so hard the centers of my teeth feel bruised. I shift my head, glancing at the clock, shocked to find it’s already fifteen after eight.

  That means that Bea, my former nurse, will be up walking her dog before she leaves for her nine o’clock shift at the hospital. If I call her now, I might catch her before she gets in the car. I reach for my phone on the bedside table and scroll through my contacts as I prop up against the pillows.