Skin on My Skin

by John Burks

  “We don’t have to do this,” I tried again. “We could be out of the city by dawn.”

  “We will be out of the city by dawn,” Jenna retorted. “We’ll just have more company.”

  I don’t know if she was delusional from the loss of blood, the drugs, or some combination of both. I didn’t see any of this ending well, but I’d promised her. If this is what it took… I’d worry about running later.

  “Okay. That’s all of them. Are you sure your radio will do the trick?”

  I shrugged. I couldn’t be sure. “Yeah, they’ll work.”

  “Then you’re ready?”

  I shrugged again. I’d cleaned out the captured bio-suit the best as I could. I didn’t think there’d be much of Loco Two left in it, but the idea of putting on someone else’s suit gave me the willies. We’d cleaned my helmet up as best as we could, in order to match the new condition of Loco Two’s suit, but I still thought the mismatch would be too obvious. It didn’t matter. It was her plan. I donned the suit and, once sealed, sighed. Nothing was burning. I didn’t feel any new blisters boiling. It was clean.

  “Let’s go,” she said almost cheerfully and I took her by the hand, guiding her out of the ruined building and down the street that took us to the gates of Club Flesh and, behind that, Fortress.

  There was only one guard on duty, which was odd. The last time I’d been here there’d been dozens.

  “Stop right there,” the man ordered, leveling his rifle at us. “What the hell do you want?”

  “It’s me, man. I’ve got her. Let me in,” I said, hoping the suit’s speakers would diffuse my voice enough so that the man wouldn’t recognize it.

  “Eddie? Shit man, where’s Rick? Why the hell didn’t you radio in when you got close? We’d have sent a team.”

  “He bought it out there, man. With the kid. We got ambushed.” I didn’t want to say much. “I got the girl, though.”

  “The fuck you did, man. Fuck yes. I missed that little bitch. How the fuck are you, Jenna?”

  “Piss off, asshole.”

  The guard laughed as the door raised. “Yup. Same old smart-ass. Don’t worry none, hon. I’ve got something to fill that mouth with just as soon as it’s my turn. Come on in, Eddie. It’s time to party.”

  The gate slid all the way open and I led Jenna through it. There were no guards inside Club Flesh, which was also strange. The last time I’d been here there were half a dozen. The Banker nodded approvingly at me as I entered.

  “Good work, Eddie. Damn fine work.”

  “Where is everybody?” I asked inadvertently, wishing I hadn’t said anything at all. Every time I spoke was another chance for them to realize who I wasn’t.

  “Out looking for you two and his kid,” the Banker said. “We’re on a skeleton crew right now. You know the kid was a priority. The drone footage was spotty, but we knew something happened to one of you. Then we saw the boy working on the suits. We weren’t sure what happened, but he was pissed. We’ll call them back as soon as we can, when they are in radio range. ”

  I’m glad I had the suit on, at that point. Otherwise he may have seen my excitement. A short-handed Fortress only increased the odds in me and Jenna’s favor.

  “And Eddie?”

  I froze, my excitement suddenly written over in fear. Had he made me?

  “Good job on the girl, but the boss is going to be all sorts up pissed about his kid. Try to break that to him easy, okay? Tell him the kid got the drop on you. Maybe he’ll go easy on you. And hell, maybe you’ll catch him after all this.”

  There it was. That was the second time someone had implied that the man in the red suit, was my father. It was ridiculous. Where had that even started? My father was dead. I’d killed him.

  “Couldn’t be helped,” I muttered, leading Jenna to the back gate.

  “He isn’t going to think that,” the Banker replied, activating the back gate. “His isn’t going to think that at all.”

  I was relieved to see that the vast majority of Central Park was empty during the night. The people of Fortress worked during daylight hours. I imagined them huddling in their hovels, praying it would all go away. There wasn’t anything I could do for these people, but with the ease we’d made our way through Club Flesh, I was starting to think we might could actually pull off the rest of the crazy plan.

  “The banker will have told him we’re here,” Jenna whispered as we made our way down the tunnel. “He’s going to be expecting us. Once we detour to get to them, we won’t have much time.”

  “I know,” I said, picking up the pace.

  I was worried I wouldn’t be able to find my way back to the Hotel, but Jenna knew the way by heart. She skipped along the plastic-tube path, almost happy. We passed by the boss’ trailer and, as much as I wanted to go in there and just kill the guy they thought was my father, we kept on going. Jenna slowed for a bit as we passed the Nursery and I could feel the hate and sadness immolating off her like heat waves. We finally made it to the Hotel and, just as he had before, Frank opened the door.

  He did not look happy. He looked as far from happy as one could possibly get.

  “Jenna.”

  “Hey Frank,” the girl said, stepping up as he swept her into his arms. “It is so good to see you. I’m glad you’re… still alive.”

  “It was close. But they couldn’t prove I’d done anything,” he said, eyeing me suspiciously. “I’m surprised he didn’t kill me anyway. He was that mad.”

  “I’m glad to see you,” Jenna said.

  “I have to admit, I hoped I wouldn’t see you. Not like this. I thought the boy would…”

  I interrupted him, removing my helmet. The realization that I wasn’t one of the troopers did nothing to improve his demeanor.

  “I thought we asked you to take her away from here?”

  “You did,” I agreed.

  “But I wouldn’t let him, Frank. I’m not going without ya’ll. You can’t ask me to do that,” Jenna said, interrupting.

  “Jenna, sweet girl… we can’t all get out of here. There are too many guards. Nothing short of an army could take this place. You know that. They’ll never let us go.”

  “Most of the guards are out, Frank. They’re out looking for us in the ruins. This… this is the boy they’ve been looking for. They know who he is and they think he’s still out there. They aren’t going to stop at anything to get him. So the place is almost empty. And besides, we have something else planned.”

  “Time’s wasting, Jenna,” I said. “We have to go now if we’re going.”

  “Frank, please,” she begged. “Isn’t it better to try and get out of here than die here? Don’t you want to live free?”

  The old man, to his credit, only thought about it for a moment. I could see the quick decision in his eyes. “The guards are gone?”

  “Not all of them,” I answered. “But we have a diversion planned. We’ll do it at the right time.”

  “One of the guards is in there with Helen,” Frank said. “What will we do about him?”

  “I’ll handle it,” I said grimly, knowing I’d have to be the one to deal with it.

  “Okay,” the man said, relieved. “And it will take a couple of minutes to get everyone moving.”

  I stepped in the door, Loco Two’s large blade in my hand. I didn’t suspect the guard taking the whole tour in the back room would be the last man I killed today.

  It took more than a few minutes to get all the Touchers moving after I slid the knife into the back of the guard’s neck, just under his skull. He died quietly and I spent the rest of the time it took the Touchers to get ready standing quietly at the door, waiting for the inevitable alarms. All told, there were a solid dozen of them, including Jenna. They gathered their meager gear, whatever food they could scrounge, and crowded around the living room of the trailer.

  “We’re going to go hard and fast across the park,” Jenna told them. “The moment someone spots us, we’ll set off the diversions. But e
ven then, there will be trouble. Hopefully they’ll be so distracted by what’s going on outside Fortress’ walls that they’ll forget about us. You guys keep going no matter what you see or hear. We’re going for the south gate.”

  “And after that?”

  Jenna nodded. “If we get separated, we’ll meet across the river. There’s that park Frank always used to talk about. You all know where that is, right?”

  The people nodded in agreement. They knew. Apparently Frank had told the story pretty often.

  “And once there, who knows? Maybe Florida. I always wanted to go to Florida. But it doesn’t matter. The world will be open to us.”

  I couldn’t help but admire Jenna’s spunk. The girl had been through hell, multiplied by a thousand, and still came out of it in charge and breathing fire. The feelings I had for her didn’t exactly make sense to me. I was prepared to go to the ends of the earth, for her, and just had.

  “Okay, Jenna. Just be careful.”

  She kissed the older man on the cheek and then we set out.

  The park was surprisingly clear. I figured that, at the very least, someone would have notified the Preacher that Jenna was back. And then, when we dallied so long, he would have sent someone looking for us. I started to feel relieved, though, like we might just make it, when the first guard intersected the tube in front of us.

  “Stop right there,” he ordered, palm up and out, but rifle down. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

  Jenna answered him with a burst of lead to the chest. The guard stumbled backwards, oozing blood and making me glad to be in the suit. At that moment all hell broke loose. Lights sprang on across the park, bathing us in light. I could hear shouts in the distance and saw armor suited figures making their way towards us. Jenna looked back at me and smiled.

  “Good as time as any, right?”

  I nodded and pulled the two-way radio from my pocket. The speaker wires on the other radio, out in the ruins, was wired to the explosives we’d left around the city. I said something akin to a prayer and depressed the key. At first nothing happened, just like in the movies.

  “Well, it could have been cool,” Jenna started and then was interrupted as the first of the boxes went off, outside.

  We’d rigged the explosives with tons of rifle ammunition and grenades. The rounds lit off, along with the grenades, and in the dark it sounded like a large force was attacking Fortress. The guards running towards us turned and ran for the walls instead. The explosions wouldn’t last very long, though, and I knew we had to keep moving.

  Frank scooped up the assault rifle from the dead guard, checking to make sure it was loaded like a practiced professional.

  “Keep them moving, Jacky,” she told me. “I have to do something before we go. I’ll catch up.”

  “No,” I said, adamant. “I’m not leaving without you.”

  Jenna smiled and nodded. Turning to Frank, she said. “Get them out of here, Frank. We’ll catch up.”

  “What the hell are you planning, girl?”

  “The Nursery,” she said softly, and then took off at a run. The older man didn’t bother arguing with her.

  It was all I could do to keep up with her.

  I thought I’d lost her, at first, as we neared the Nursery, and I panicked. I’d done all this, for her, and couldn’t imagine leaving without her. I finally found her, though, pouring gasoline around the base of the building.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, completely taken aback.

  “I can’t let them suffer,” she told me. “My babies… my children. They shouldn’t have ever been born. They aren’t built for this world. They shouldn’t have to live in cages their entire life. They can’t survive out there,” she said, pointing to the city where the explosives and ammunition we’d hidden were still popping off, “and they shouldn’t have to live in here.”

  “You’re going to kill them?” I asked, aghast.

  “It’s better than what he has planned for them. It’s the humane thing to do.”

  I didn’t have a good argument. I had often thought dying, back in those early days, would have been preferable to the life we led. But I could see the pain in her eyes. This wasn’t a whim. She’d thought long and hard about this.

  “Okay,” I said. “What can I do?”

  “There’s gas in that shed. Get it, spread it around.”

  I found the gasoline and went to work, spreading it on the lower portion of the walls. It felt odd pouring out a substance that was worth more than the Toucher opposite me. People would give their lives for a couple of gallons of the stuff to fire up an old generator or car. There were so many easier ways to make electricity, though, and I didn’t get it. It had to have something to do with the old world.

  When we’d poured enough out to make her happy, we stepped back.

  “Do you want to go in and… say goodbye or something?” I asked her. I had no idea how much the children inside meant to her.

  “No. Just give me the lighter.”

  I did so and watched as she knelt and struck it. The flames shot up the wooden walls quickly, enveloping the structure. I could hear the kids screaming inside. They might not be capable of rational thought, but they knew what was coming for them.

  “Let’s go,” I said, taking her good hand. She didn’t need to watch this. We didn’t need to hear them die. “We need to get out of here.”

  She nodded in agreement.

  It didn’t matter that we no longer heard the screams of those monsters in the Nursery. I’d never, ever forget them.

  The other Touchers were long gone by the time we finally made the gate at Club Flesh. The explosions outside had dissipated and the guards were nowhere to be seen. I kept expecting the Preacher to be in front of us at every turn, like some movie monster, but we made it the rest of the way unmolested.

  The dancers were gone inside the club and the Banker stared at us in horror as we entered. I was pretty sure the man hadn’t expected to see Jenna, armed with an assault rifle, come back through so soon.

  “Jenna…”

  She didn’t give him a chance to answer and squeezed the trigger. The bullets ripped through the glass window and tore the upper part of the fat man’s body into so much red mush.

  “Let’s go,” I said, heading for the front door, but she stopped me.

  “Is he your father?”

  “That guy in the red suit? Hell no. My father is dead.”

  “You thought the Preacher was dead too.”

  “I know my father is dead, Jenna.”

  “How?”

  “I shot him.”

  She was quiet for a long time, staring at me. “Why did you shoot your own father?”

  “It’s a long story,” I told her sadly, the image of dad’s naked, bloody body splayed in the floor of our old home stuck firmly in my mind. “But he’s dead. I know he’s dead.”

  “How would they have your picture if he wasn’t dead? Why would they have been looking for you all this time?”

  “I don’t know and it doesn’t matter, Jenna. We have to get out of here before the guards get their shit together. We have to go find the others.”

  “Jacky,” she said softly, seriously, “what did your father do before the Preacher’s Plague?”

  “I don’t know what that matters.”

  “Humor me.”

  “He was a virologist,” I admitted and I didn’t like the way the word sounded coming out of my mouth. “He worked for the CDC.”

  The letters CDC would forever be burned into the psyche of any survivors who’d been alive at the time. It was remembered both tragically and with hate. I didn’t like admitting dad had worked with them.

  “So he could have been the Preacher, right?”

  “Not a chance,” I insisted. The child in me who still thought dad was a hero came out. “It doesn’t matter. I can prove he’s dead.”

  “How?”

  “We have to go to my old house. His body will still be ther
e.”

  She nodded adamantly. There was something else in her tone, something she was hiding. It was like she wanted to tell me something but couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Then let’s do that. The rest will wait for us. But you have to admit, you’ll never be over this if we don’t go find out, right?”

  Though I was sure that my father was, in fact dead, she had a point. If I didn’t go back and look at his remains, the question would forever hang over my head. But she also seemed to need that close and I had to know why.

  “It’s a long way,” I told her, “but it’s on the way. We can be there by lunch.”

  “After you,” she said, and once more we took off walking.

  Home Sweet Home

  It was really hard to look at the front porch.

  So much had happened on that porch. It was burnt into my dreams the way the sun burned your eyes. I couldn’t look at the porch without seeing my father killing my mother. I saw their ghosts there then, acting out the same grizzly scene over and over again just as they did nightly in my dreams.

  Jenna took my hand, sensing my fear and trepidation.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I lied. I was anything but okay. “It’s just a lot went down right there. My father killed my mother, right there, standing in that doorway.”

  “Why did he do that?”

  “It was right when the government finally gave up. He’d been at the CDC for weeks, trying to stop the plague.” I said that despite the sinking suspicion something had been off then. I tried defending my father despite the fact I’d killed him after he’d gone insane. “It was just starting to get bad. You remember. He came home and my mother was waiting for him, on the porch. I was standing next to her. It had already jumped between us but it was just starting to take hold.”

  “The rates were different for everyone,” she said, agreeing.