‘Jamie said he wanted our own hands to look like that together one day. But some things are just not meant to be, I suppose.’ She eased the frame from his hands and placed it carefully on the table, staring at it for a long moment before turning back to him.
‘Do you believe in signs?’
He shook his head. He’d always been of a practical nature. Dreams and portents were flights of fancy to be captured through his lens, but that’s where they stayed, frozen in a single moment in time. She raised her eyebrows at him and he saw something in her eyes. ‘But you do?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know, maybe. Or maybe I’m just looking for something to help me find the right answer.’
She looked so forlorn, like a little girl lost in her striped pyjamas and her hair all tousled from the bath. He took her hand, rubbing her fingers, marvelling at the contrast between the softness in their skin. ‘And what’s the question?’
Dropping her head forward so it rested on his chest, she heaved a huge sigh. ‘You’re the question.’
He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, then took a step back before he did something foolish like tug her down onto the bed with him. ‘Maybe you should sleep on it and see if the answer’s any clearer in the morning.’ God, he hoped so.
She gave him a nod. Opened her mouth to say something and ended up smothering a huge yawn instead. That was his cue to leave her in peace. He placed a kiss on the top of her nose and lifted the bedcovers. ‘Let’s get you tucked in.’
Mia climbed into bed and settled onto her side. She stared up at him. ‘I won’t keep you dangling for ever. I just need to be sure.’
‘Don’t rush. I’m not going anywhere, love. If, and when, you’re ready, I’ll be around.’ He hoped she understood he meant every word.
Chapter Fifteen
Mia was alone in the house when the phone rang. She had baking to catch up on and it was nice to take a breather from the men and have a bit of quiet time to herself. This constant indecision over Daniel was driving her to distraction. Goodness knows what he must think of her blowing hot and cold, but every time she thought she’d made up her mind some little chink from the past cropped up to unsettle her again. She dusted her hands clean on a tea towel and tucked the phone beneath her chin.
‘’Lo,’ she said into the mouthpiece, looking down and brushing ineffectually at the flour on the front of her T-shirt.
‘Mimi,’ the voice on the other end of the phone quavered.
‘Kiki-Dee? What is it, darling? Are you all right?’ Mia’s voice was sharp with concern at how sad her sister sounded.
‘Oh, Mia, can you come up please? I think Mother’s really ill this time. Dad is totally useless, refusing to see how bad things are. Neil is at the end of his tether and the kids have got some hideous D&V bug Matty picked up at school. And trying to organise this bloody dinner is the last thing I need. I’m… God, I’m just… Can you come? I need you, Mimi.’ The sobs choked off the end of her entreaty.
‘Hush, darling. Hush. Of course, I’ll come. I was waiting for Mother to be released from hospital. Hang on, what dinner are you talking about? Dad said he would cancel it.’ She couldn’t believe he was going ahead with it and expecting Kiki to help him.
‘He was going to, but Neil was so cross about it because he was banking on dad to help him secure funding for his next grant.’ Kiki’s voice broke again and Mia tamped down the anger building, knowing exactly how much pressure that bastard Neil would have heaped on his wife. It had been the same since he’d stuck a ring on her finger.
He seemed to resent anything that took her time away from him, including his own children, which was something that Mia had never understood. They were two of the sweetest little souls it had ever been her delight to meet and she hated that she didn’t see them as much as she wanted to.
Neil made every visit so unpleasant and Mia hadn’t been in a fit state since Jamie had died to spend proper time with them without risking getting upset and upsetting them in return. Matty had not understood why Uncle Jamie was suddenly no longer around and it had broken her heart anew when she realised little Charlie was too young to remember him at all.
She pressed her forehead against the cold wall and listened to her sister sob into the phone. Kiki had always been the softest of them, the one who’d taken most to heart their dad’s inability to care for them and their mother’s drunken scorn. Neil had seemed a good match at first. Calm and seemingly enamoured, his flattering attention had been a balm to Kiki and she had soaked it up and slaked her desperate need to love and be loved with him. Mia had become concerned and then outright opposed to their relationship as Kiki slowly subsumed what little bit of herself was left and moulded herself into the image of the perfect wife that Neil demanded.
Sadly, it was soon apparent no matter what Kiki did, it was not quite good enough. How many times had she tried to explain to Mia why it was her own fault that Neil wasn’t happy with this or that minor thing? Mia had begged her not to marry him but by that stage, her sister was so far under his thumb she wouldn’t listen.
Then there had been the awful dinner party that Jamie and Mia had been invited to as a celebration of their engagement. It was clear from the moment they arrived that Neil hadn’t wanted to host them and he had picked at and criticised Kiki until Mia was ready to climb over the table and throttle him. Only Jamie’s hard grip on her thigh under the table had held her in her seat, but she hadn’t been able to keep her mouth shut and had eventually told Neil not to fucking speak to her sister like that.
Neil had stormed out and Mia and Jamie had been ushered to the door soon after by a frantic Kiki who kept telling them over and over that it wasn’t his fault. He was tired and so busy at work and it had been Kiki’s selfishness for insisting on holding the meal that was to blame. Poor Neil was under pressure from the grant committee who were a bunch of short-sighted fools because they had rejected his latest project for funding.
She had been in tears as she practically shoved them out the door and ran to soothe Neil’s pathetic ego. Mia had cried all the way home, the only way she could relieve the pressure of her frustration at the mess of her sister’s life. Jamie had been the voice of reason, calming Mia and reminding her that her behaviour wouldn’t have helped Kiki and that he was sure her sister understood why Mia was upset but that she was in such a low place that she couldn’t see a way to get herself free of it.
Mia had taken a bouquet around the next day and been utterly horrified at the bruise on her sister’s face. Kiki had trotted out some excuse about slipping on the stairs and catching her face on the bannister but Mia had known that Neil had punished Kiki because of her own outburst. She had left her sister’s house in a rage and had stormed straight over to the university and into Neil’s office.
She’d warned Neil that if she ever saw another mark on her sister it wouldn’t be the police he would have to worry about because she would do for him. She had been completely serious and from then she saw no evidence of violence on her sister, although the verbal abuse had continued. She wondered now if he’d just made sure to hit Kiki where the bruises wouldn’t show. It didn’t bear thinking about.
Mia made soothing sounds into the phone as the thoughts and memories swirled in her head. Eventually the storm of weeping subsided and she had a chance of being heard. ‘Listen, Kiki Dee, I’m sorry I’ve left you in the lurch. I spoke to Dad and thought everything was under control. Can you hold on for twenty-four hours so I can sort something out?’ She’d swallow her doubts and stay at her parents’ place if she had to, but it would be a last resort.
There was a pause from the other end as Kiki drew in a few sniffling breaths and then she asked the obvious question. The one Mia had been avoiding. ‘What about Bill and Pat? Can’t you stay with them? I’m sure they’d be glad to see you.’
The mention of Jamie’s parents froze her blood. Not because they had been awful to her since their son’s death, the complete opposite. They had given h
er the love and support that her own parents had frequently failed to offer. They would understand and probably be happy to help with the kids for a couple of days as they had always been pleased to spend time with them before.
But now there was Daniel, and Mia didn’t feel right about asking them for help when she was starting to move on. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Kiki. Things are a bit complicated at my end these days. I’ll talk to you about it when I get there. Just hang on a little bit longer and I’ll be there to help you, I promise.’ Kiki hiccupped as she tried to keep her control and Mia promised to call again in the morning once she had sorted her arrangements out. They ended the call with their usual endearments.
Mia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It looked like the time for hiding out and looking after only her own needs was over. The world outside was beckoning her forward and for once she felt strong and centred enough to face it. First she needed to speak to Daniel and see what he wanted to do. She felt a bit weird about leaving him alone in the house, but then she supposed it was because she had only ever pictured them there together.
She thought again about Bill and Pat. It had been too long since she had seen them and perhaps it was time to sort that out too. She picked up the phone and screwed her courage tight as she dialled their number.
‘Mia, lovely girl, is that really you?’ The bright greeting was enough to lift Mia’s heart and she found herself smiling as though Pat would be able to see her.
‘Hello, Ma, how’s things? Sorry it’s been so long since I called.’
‘Hush, lovey. Bill and I understand perfectly how hard everything has been for you. Are you okay though? Nothing wrong is there?’ The warmth and caring enveloped Mia even from a distance and she said a silent prayer of thanks that she had such wonderful surrogates in her life in Pat and Bill and now also Madeline and Richard.
Mia quietly explained about what had been happening with her parents and the state that Kiki was in trying to manage everything. She didn’t have to go into all the gory details as Pat had held her through many crying sessions when she had been younger and was still trying to come to terms with the fact that her parents just didn’t love their daughters the way other parents did.
‘Do you want Bill to drive down and fetch you, darling? You know he wouldn’t mind a bit.’ There was a muffled exchange as Bill obviously heard the comment and wanted to know what was wrong.
‘No, no, I’ll probably come up on the train and if you can pick me up the other end, that would be great. I’ll hire a car when I get up there if I need one.’ Following assurance that she had a friend who could drop her off at the station at this end and a promise to text with the train times, Mia hung up and headed out to explain to Daniel that she would be away for a few days.
Mia pressed her face to the window of the train and watched the trees and fields rush past. Daniel had been brilliant about everything and had even offered to leave the house and go back to London whilst she was away. It wasn’t until he had made the offer that she realised how much happier she would feel knowing that the house was being looked after. She trusted Daniel and the others implicitly.
She promised him she would be fine and said she would prefer he stayed and got on with the plans for the barn. With any luck, Luke would finish up his sketches for the harem suite and she would have something new to get stuck into when she got home. Now things were progressing, she was eager to get the house whipped into shape. They might even make it in time for the summer season.
It also made more sense to leave the car there so Daniel wasn’t stranded. Madeline and Richard had called the night before and she had explained what was going on. They had promised to come over and help Daniel. Madeline had sounded pleased to have someone to fuss after and take care of. Mia couldn’t believe how blessed she was with her friends and she knew that whatever happened over the next week, she had a solid base to return to. Butterfly Cove finally felt like home and the thought of what she was leaving behind would sustain her over the days to come.
Chapter Sixteen
Her in-laws were full of hugs and kisses, swooping down on the station platform and gathering her close like a long-lost daughter. It was their open affection and easy manner that Jamie had inherited and between them they had helped Mia to soften and relax her defensive shields.
They had three other sons and a brood of grandchildren, which had helped to cushion the loss of Jamie just a little. The family had rallied around and pulled Mia into their warm love and shared grief, which had helped for the first few weeks, but then she had found it too hard. Their constant presence had merely served to remind Mia of what she had lost rather than offering the solace of what she still had. Distance and perspective had helped her with that, though, and she was glad that Bill and Pat insisted on remaining a presence in her life, although a restrained and slightly distant one as that is what she had needed at the time.
It struck Mia then that she had been quite selfish in her desire to withdraw and hide and she was so grateful that they had decided to keep their door (and their arms) open to her. They had just reached the car as she turned and clutched Pat a tight hug.
‘I love you, Pat, you and Bill.’ Her voice was husky around the tears she was suddenly holding back. ‘I’m sorry I ran away but I just had to. I’m sorry if that hurt you but I hope you can forgive me.’
Pat pulled back and clasped Mia’s face tightly in her hands. ‘One of the greatest gifts our Jamie gave us was you, Mia. You are as precious to us as one of our own and we completely understand why you needed to distance yourself. We missed you horribly and we just hope that you won’t vanish on us again. We’re dying to hear about the house and we are definitely on the list to be your first paying guests.’
Bill moved up behind them and curled his arm around Mia’s shoulders, pulling her close and pressing a long and heartfelt kiss to her temple. He was a quiet man most of the time but still demonstrative and Mia felt warmed through to her toes by his solid support. She would need them over the next few days, but she knew they would never let her down.
Mia’s mobile phone trilled in her pocket and they all stepped away whilst she looked at the screen. Bill placed her bag in the boot of the car and Pat ushered her into the back seat whilst she read the message from Daniel. He was claiming that Madeline was smitten with Aaron and Luke and didn’t know whether to adopt them or elope with them. Mia smiled at the silliness and she looked up and caught Bill’s eye in the rear-view mirror.
‘That’s a smile that only a man can put on a girl’s face,’ he said with a wink as he manoeuvred the car into the traffic.
The shock of his comment left her winded and Mia turned her hot face towards the window. She had been wondering how to broach the subject of Daniel with them. She had decided that it was something that needed to be discussed during her visit. She had never been one for lies or deceit and they had always been so decent to her that anything else felt terrible.
‘I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Sweetie. I’m just an old fool for prying; pay me no mind. It would just do our hearts good to know that you weren’t all by yourself down there. We know how much you loved our boy. We also know how he would’ve hated to see you so lonely and sad. If you’ve found some happiness, then it would please me no end.’
Mia turned back to meet his eyes as they sat at the traffic lights. It was one of the longest speeches she could remember Bill giving and she loosened her seat belt so that she could lean forward between the seats in front.
‘Are you sure, Bill? I would hate to hurt you or have you think I was disrespecting Jamie’s memory. It just sort of happened. I never planned it, never looked for it and now I seem to be deep into something without really knowing how I got there.’
Pat turned in her seat with a smile on her face and just the hint of moisture in her eyes. ‘Tell us all about him, Mia.’
Mia sat back in her seat and explained how Daniel had come to be in her life. She paused often in the narrative
as she sorted it through in her own mind. Things had become so intense so quickly and there had been so much emotional upheaval in just two short months that it was good to get some perspective on the situation.
The next few days would give Mia and Daniel both the chance to think things through and make sure that they weren’t just swept up in the need for someone, anyone, to relieve their loneliness and misery respectively. Mia was coming to terms with her feelings but she was suddenly glad of the space to chew everything over in her mind.
She didn’t want to talk about it with Kiki too much, worried that her own happiness would offer such a stark contrast to how bad things were for her sister. It would feel like she was rubbing her face in it, having met another good man after Jamie when Kiki was still tied to her own mistake. Although perhaps it would finally stir Kiki into doing something about her situation. Mia so wanted to drag her and the kids away from it all. Steal her away to Butterfly House to rest and heal and recuperate. It was something to consider. She would make the offer if she got the chance.
Pat and Bill were so delighted about Daniel and genuinely interested in hearing about him and the house that Mia chatted about him all through their evening meal. Pat had given her eyes a wipe when Mia had explained about Daniel being the artist who’d taken the photograph Jamie had given her. It had been an iconic moment during the wedding, at the end of his speech, so everyone in the family knew of its significance.
Bill and Pat declared themselves thrilled with the situation and extracted a promise from Mia that they could come down at Easter for a break to see how the house was progressing, meet Daniel and help where they could.
The talk turned more serious as the evening wore on and her in-laws were adamant that Mia should persuade Kiki to let Charlie and Matty come and stay with them for a few days. Mia shook her head, amazed again at their infinite capacity to love and protect her and her family.
Sunrise at Butterfly Cove Page 12
