Secrets That We Keep

by Linda Kage

  “Wait, you really love her,” she murmured in awe. “Don’t you?”

  “Of course, I love her,” I snapped irritably. “Why do you think I’m going through all this shit for her? Because she’s everything.”

  “Oh wow.” Eyes filling with happy tears, Bentley launched herself at me and hugged me hard. “This is so awesome! You and Bella? I never would’ve thought of that match-up, but I love it. I’m so happy for both of you. Though, oh my God, that was your shirt in her room. I knew it!”

  I frowned. “What shirt?”

  “Never mind.” Shaking her head, she pulled away.

  “So you’re going to keep the secret until she’s ready, right?” I pressed.

  Bentley nodded, answering for both her and Beau. “Of course. Whatever it takes to get her as a sister-in-law. Oh my goodness. I could be her matron of honor and Beau will be your best man. This will be so much fun.” When she let out a little squeal of pleasure, I lifted my eyebrows. “What makes you think Beau would be my best man?”

  “Because I said so,” Bentley answered simply.

  Folding my arms over my chest, I countered, “And you’re positive Bella would ask you to stand up with her? She might just choose Gray to be her right-hand man, you know.”

  My sister gasped in horror. “He would too, that rat bastard.” Grabbing Beau’s hand, she said, “Come on,” with utter determination. “I need to start working on her now and buttering her up. No man is taking my rightful spot.”

  I grinned as she started for the door, only to say, “Hey,” which made her glance back. “I didn’t get to say anything earlier because I wasn’t supposed to know what happened, but I’m really sorry. About the baby. Are you sure you’re healing okay?”

  With a soft smile, she nodded and returned to me to give me another hug. “I am. Thank you. And thanks for not telling anyone—other than your significant other, that is, which doesn’t count.”

  “I understand why you wanted to keep it to yourselves,” I told her.

  She nodded and touched my cheek. “And I don’t really understand why Bella doesn’t want the world to know that she’s with the best man she could ever get, but I’ll respect your guys’ privacy, anyway.”

  “Thank you.”

  And with that, I had protected Bella’s secret for another day longer.

  I hoped.

  Chapter Twenty

  Gracen

  AN HOUR LATER

  I skipped out of the baby shower early, about as soon as all the gifts were opened, and cake was served. After suffering through the agony of all the oohs and aahs and that-is-so-adorable, I deserved a damn slice of cake, so I couldn’t miss that part. I could only be grateful that all four sets of parents were allowed to open their presents simultaneously. I very well would’ve imploded if I’d had to wait for them to go one at a time.

  They’d just started a round of games where everyone had to guess what kind of melted chocolate-coated candy bar had been folded inside a diaper when I’d stepped into the kitchen to toss my empty cake plate, only to keep on going out the back door and to my car.

  No one would miss me—I don’t think.

  Didn’t matter if they did; I wasn’t going back. I had a movie to see.

  I’d missed all the matinees, and if I didn’t get my ass into gear, I’d miss the first late show too. Not that I knew which time Yellow planned on attending, or even which theater, but I had this gut instinct telling me I needed to get there now.

  We hadn’t exactly talked about movies again after the kiss in my office. Or about the kiss.

  It had felt wrong to just leave her there, hiding out under the desk, but I needed to get Bella out of the room, and—yes—I suppose I could’ve just come clean to my sister then and told her that I now worked with Yellow—er, in the same building as her, anyway—and that I was interested in her, but right there at the office was the worst place to have that conversation. Plus, it hadn’t seemed like Yellow had been ready to see her again either, especially when she’d scampered under the desk to avoid Bella.

  So…

  What had happened had happened, and when I returned from lunch, I’d glanced over that memo of Jada’s and returned it to Yellow’s desk, handing it back to her with a yellow Post-it note on the front.

  “Hey, uh, I’ve skimmed over this like Jada asked. And here…” I thrust it at Yellow awkwardly. “You can tell her it looks fine to me.”

  She glanced down, then widened her eyes when she read the note I’d written.

  You okay? Everything fine? Did I mess up by just leaving you there like that?

  “Okay, great,” she answered, plucking a pen from her pen cup and scribbling something under my questions. “I’ll let her know.” Then she peeled the note free from the printed memo and handed it back to me.

  And thus…

  We had officially reverted ourselves back to grade school, sneaking secret notes to each other when no one was looking. If it weren’t so bizarre, it’d almost be adorable.

  Not really caring how immature it was, I read what she had to say immediately.

  I’m wonderful! Can’t stop smiling! You didn’t mess up at all. You good?

  She even ended it with a cheerful little smiling face.

  After heaving out a relieved breath, I glanced up and grinned at her so big I’m surprised the corners of my mouth didn’t break out the sides of my face.

  “I’m great,” I said, then cringed. “I mean, that’s great. Thanks.” Then I lifted the note and added, “Let me know if anything changes.”

  “Will do.”

  I turned away and whistled all the way back to my office. For the rest of the week, we somehow ran into each other every time one or the other of us was in the breakroom, refilling our drinks. We never talked about anything important, or too personal, not even the movies.

  I’d probably never drunk so much hot tea or talked about the weather that intently in all my life. But the brief moments of crossing her path were my favorite moments of each day.

  And tonight, I was going to see that movie if it was the last thing I did.

  I returned to my original theater. I probably should’ve checked the one further away first, since she had a reason for going there now. But I wouldn’t have made it in time—if this was even the time she would be there. Or the night.

  Filled with the sense that I was in the correct time and place, I purchased my ticket and sped straight to the big room.

  When I paused just inside the double doors, my gaze tracked the lower levels first, looking for that familiar blond ponytail. But no one was sitting in her usual spot.

  Dammit.

  A moment of frustration filled me. I’d gone to the wrong damn place.

  And I’d been so sure it would all line up perfectly.

  What an idiot I’d been.

  I was tempted to leave, maybe try again for the late-late show, or race to the other theater and see if she was there, but some guy who’d just entered ahead of me, paused by someone sitting by the aisle near the back and asked, “Is this seat taken?”

  A familiar voice answered, “Yes.”

  My eyebrows shot up in surprise over the assertiveness in her voice. But then she quickly murmured an apologetic, “Sorry,” because it just wasn’t in her chemical makeup to be rude to anyone.

  But the guy was already moving away, and writing her off as a lost cause.

  Thank God.

  I blew out a relieved breath and loped down to the empty seat she’d been guarding, the grin on my face wider than it had probably ever been.

  She was trying out my spot, though. I think it was official; I was totally gone for this woman.

  Yellow yelped when I dropped down next to her.

  “Very nice, Nicksen,” I congratulated her with a pleased nod when she whirled to gape at me. Holding up my fingers with the okay symbol, I added, “That brush-off gets a ten-point-oh from me. It was brief, firm, straight to the point, and very definite. Oh, and no thro
at punches this time, so you’ll probably avoid assault charges too. I liked it.”

  She sniffed out a laugh, then opened her mouth to answer, but my gaze fell on her treats before she could say anything.

  “Ooh, good. You got snacks. I was running behind and the line at the concession stand was too long for me to risk it.” I scooped up a big handful of popcorn without asking. “Sorry I’m late, by the way. Had to go to a baby shower.”

  Yellow lifted her eyebrows pointedly when I picked up her cherry slushy and took a big drink. “And what makes you think I was waiting here for you?” she countered teasingly—at least, I think she was teasing. “We didn’t technically make any plans to meet tonight, you know. You had no idea what time or even which theater I was going to.”

  I paused drinking to wink at her. “Well. The fact that you’re trying out my spot here in the awesome back was a pretty big indicator that you were waiting for me. Which, by the way, my spot is technically one more row back, but you’re close enough that I’ll give you this one. And of course, we picked the same time and place. Fate wanted us to have company while we watched this movie.” I stole another handful of popcorn, only to notice— “Oh, hey. Those are for me, aren’t they? Yeah, they’re definitely for me. You didn’t eat any Junior Mints last time. So I’ll just...” I made a production of reaching past her to grab the box of candy. “Take these. Thanks.”

  Yellow merely watched me the whole time, her eyebrows arched in censure, but her lips tightened into an amused smile.

  I paused chewing on the popcorn, the slushy still in one hand, her box of Junior Mints in the other.

  “Oh shit,” I muffled out. “Were you saving this seat for someone else that’s not me? Because this just got awkward if you were.”

  She laughed just as the theater lights began to dim and the pre-movie advertisements on the screen stopped so previews could begin.

  Yellow leaned toward me and confessed, “Yes, I was saving the seat for you.”

  I exhaled, not realizing how good her admission would feel until I actually heard it. It did unspeakably nice things to my heart.

  Slotting the drink in the holder between us, I reached out with my newly freed hand and squeezed her fingers. We studied each other a moment longer, then turned to face the screen together.

  Two Hours Later

  “Damn, that was a good one,” I had to admit with a low whistle as I walked Yellow through the parking lot after the movie.

  “Yeah,” she agreed softly. “It was definitely my favorite of the series.”

  “Yep.”

  Stuffing my hands into my pockets and lingering when we reached her car, I idly nudged the toe of my shoe against the back tire for something to do as I waited for her to dig her keys from her purse.

  When she had them in hand, she sighed and looked up.

  I met her gaze and couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

  God, what a pair we made. We knew we were attracted to each other and enjoyed each other's company, and we just wanted to be together, yet we didn’t seem to have any clue how to go about actually initiating the next part.

  In the middle of me trying to think up the most amazing question to ask in order to start an awesome and engaging dialogue with her, she frowned at me suddenly.

  “Did you say you were late because of a baby shower earlier?”

  I lifted my eyebrows, totally not expecting that kind of question. “Huh?”

  “When you first arrived at the theater, you apologized for being late because you’d been at a baby shower.” Her brows furrowed. “Didn’t you?”

  “Oh!” Right. How soon I’d forgotten. “Yeah, a couple of my cousins are about to have some babies, so we had this huge, four-in-one baby shower for all of them. It was kind of a madhouse, and everyone’s basically required to go. I mean…” I shrugged and rolled my eyes. “Attendance probably isn’t that mandatory, per se, but then our mothers would call and ask why we weren't there, and we’d probably end up listening to a three-hour lecture about how important family is. And yeah, it’s just safer to go to them. Plus there’s cake. And melted candy bars in diapers, so who could miss that?”

  Yellow smiled in amusement at my summation of the event, only to nod and murmur, “A four-in-one baby shower, huh? That makes so much more sense now.”

  I lifted one confused eyebrow. “It does?”

  “Yeah, I, uh, I saw your sister in the department store earlier. She ran into me in the ladies’ lingerie section, of all places.” Yellow rolled her eyes as if nothing could be worse. “And her cart was heaped full of baby things. I thought she was pregnant.”

  “No, no.” I waved a hand. “She just had to buy double because I pitched in on paying for them, and I can’t pick out baby shower presents to save my life. But back up a second there. Did you just say you ran into her in the ladies’ lingerie section?”

  “I know.” Her eyes widened. “You were right; she’s definitely seeing someone new. But I didn’t get the sense that it was someone bad for her, if that makes you feel any better.”

  “It probably would,” I told her with a thoughtful bob of my head, “if I could get over the fact that you were there too.” Unable to control the grin that followed, I asked, “So what did you purchase from the ladies’ lingerie section, Miss Nicksen?”

  The flush that spread across her cheeks made my heart happy. She had been there to buy something.

  Something for me to see her wearing, perhaps?

  Holy damn. I think I went instantly hard at that very moment.

  “I—I didn’t—I mean, I left before I could pick anything out,” she answered awkwardly.

  I paused in the middle of taking a step toward her. Ah, hell. “Because of something Bella said to you?”

  Shit. If Bella had upset her into leaving the store, that wasn’t good.

  She fidgeted, looking extremely uncomfortable, not wanting to answer.

  With a sigh, I reached out and slid a piece of hair behind her ear. “Let me guess, you didn’t tell her, did you? You didn’t tell her that you never betrayed her.”

  Yellow shrugged helplessly. “It didn’t come up.”

  “Huh.” I shook my head slowly. “And here, I had a feeling, it was the only thing that came up between you two.”

  “She’s still pretty mad at me,” she confessed with a wince.

  “You could fix that, you know.” I dipped my face closer to hers until my cheek barely brushed her temple. “By simply telling her the truth.”

  “I might,” she whispered, lifting her chin and tilting her face in toward mine so we’d brush past each other again. “Someday. Maybe. But probably not tonight.”

  “Great.” I lifted my hand to her hip, fingers curling in just above the waistline. When her breath caught, I lightly kissed the top portion of her ear. “And right after you let her know, then I’ll tell her about us.”

  “Us?” Her gaze lifted hopefully to mine. “Wha—what about us?”

  I made a disappointed tsking sound before answering, “Well, if you don’t know, I guess I’m going to have to just show you what there is to tell her about us, aren’t I?”

  Then my mouth was on hers, and my hand had moved to the small of her back so I could nudge her into me until we were pressed flush against each other. But the moment my erection bumped against her, she gasped and moved back.

  I instantly let her go, worried I’d pushed too fast.

  But when I asked, “You okay?” she nodded and looked up at me, touching her mouth as if she could still feel me there.

  “Yeah,” she said. Then repeated it as if answering herself the second time. “Yeah. I just…” A smile bloomed across her face. “I don’t want the night to end yet.”

  I didn’t want it to either. Figuring I needed to hold off on the kissing and touching parts, though, I suggested, “We could go somewhere for a drink.”

  “Sounds good,” she agreed immediately, her head moving up and down slowly. “There’s this great
coffee maker…” She paused and took a breath, then blurted, “In my kitchen.”

  And… my mind went straight there.

  “Uh…” Call me a total guy, but there was no way I could get sex off the brain when she suggested shit like that. But she had just moved away from personal contact, so she probably didn't have sex on the brain.

  Except the way she was looking at me after just inviting me back to her place kind of did say she was thinking about it. Her eyes were wide, a bit frightened, yet a lot hopeful. And the way she was ever so shyly biting her lip...

  Well, let’s just say, my erection wasn’t going down anytime soon.

  “Are you sure?” I asked anyway, not sure how to read all the mixed signals I was getting.

  She thought it through a moment, then gave a firm, decided nod. “Yes. Are you—I mean, do you think you’d be okay with following me home?”

  I had no idea if we’d be sitting across a kitchen table from each other, platonically sharing a drink and talking about the weather, or if things were about to get freaky sexy, but I was honestly on board for either outcome. I just wanted to be with her.

  So I nodded immediately. “I’m definitely okay with that. I’ll just…” Hooking my thumb over my shoulder, I backed away from her. “I’ll run and grab my car and bring it around here. Follow you from there, okay?”

  She nodded, clutching her keys to her chest for dear life. “Okay.”

  The next twenty minutes seemed like the most surreal moments of my life. I knew everything should be right and settled with Bella before I went any further with Yellow, and there was this gnawing guilt that ate at my stomach the entire time I followed the red glowing taillights in front of me.

  Yet the excitement and anticipation of spending more time with Yellow had my heart beating hard and my hand literally shaking as I gripped the steering wheel.