Secrets That We Keep

by Linda Kage

  “Wow.” Bella’s voice was dry when she answered, “You could make me squirm a little more than that, you know. I deserve it. And more.”

  With a chagrined wince, El shrugged. “Sorry. But I had already forgiven you before every hurtful word had even finished leaving your lips.”

  Huffing out an irritated breath, Bella shook her head as if she were disgruntled by El’s ready clemency. But then she said, “God, I wish I could be as sweet and kind as you.”

  El snorted. “No. No, you don’t. People take advantage of it constantly. I wish I could be more like you, actually.”

  “Lord help us all if you were,” Bella mumbled. I rubbed her arm to let her know I liked her just the way she was as she sighed again and added, “But thank you, Yellow. Someday I’m going to make all my asshole ways up to you and actually deserve your forgiveness. I swear it.”

  “I just hope we can be friends again,” El said.

  This time it was Bella’s turn to answer, “Done.”

  As they shared a warm, affectionate glance, Gracen bobbed his chin at me to catch my attention so he could say, “Don’t expect me to say I wish I were more like you because it ain’t gonna happen, jackhole.”

  My sniff told him I wasn’t holding my breath. “As if you could ever be this awesome, moron.”

  “Ha ha,” Bella said dryly as she jerked her elbow back lightly to catch me in the ribs. “You two are just so funny.”

  With a chuckle, I leaned forward to rest my forehead on the back of her shoulder. “We try,” I murmured on a smile, only to grit my teeth when Bella’s frame shuddered as one of those leftover sniffs from her recent tears tremored through her, reminding me all over again of why we were even here, having this conversation.

  “I just wish there was some way to make that bastard pay for what he did,” I growled, wanting some justice for my woman.

  “I’m warming up to your plan of taking the motherfucker out together,” Gray announced.

  I nodded at him, on board to get started immediately. But El discreetly cleared her throat.

  “I, um, might know of a way. After, er, after the second time, I went home, prepared to shower and clean all the evidence off me, but—I don’t know. For some reason, I stopped and went to the hospital instead. They did tests, took a report, and the only thing I never told them was his name.”

  “What?” Gray exploded incredulously. “Why the hell not?”

  When he pushed to his feet to scowl down at her, El cringed up at him and started to wring her hands. “I started to get all these hateful texts from the other women in the group who must’ve heard about, you know, the second time.”

  “Shit.” Bella lifted her hand and winced, admitting, “That might’ve been my fault.”

  But El waved her worries aside. “I knew why you did it, but it did make me pause, wondering if anyone would even believe me if I suddenly came up with the I-was-drugged story. And then, in the room where I was waiting to take all the tests, they had a television on to keep me entertained, except the news on it was reporting this famous actress who’d accused one of her directors of sexual assault. And I watched all these people who hadn’t been there and had no idea what had really happened just sitting around a table, discussing whether or not to believe her. Some did without question, and some called her the ugliest and most vile names. I felt sick to my stomach, wondering what everyone was going to say about me. I ran out of the hospital before finishing my interview. A detective called me a week later, telling me I had tested positive for having Rohypnol in my system. She wanted me to come in and talk again, give her more information and file charges, but I just couldn’t do it anymore, so she told me she’d leave the case open, and that I could go to her whenever I was ready.”

  “Well, hell. Let’s call her now,” I said, sitting upright.

  But Bella gripped my wrist and sent me a pleading glance. “But everyone will know. They’ll ask why I never figured it out and think I’m an idiot for—”

  “Bells,” I choked out, cupping her cheek. “No. No one will think—”

  “How do you know that?” she accused. “Hell, I’m thinking it. Why won’t anyone else?”

  “Well, fuck everyone else. Their opinions don’t matter.”

  “Except they do,” El cut in softly. “Whether it’s from a friend or a complete stranger, negative comments will eat at you and make you question yourself and send you into a nasty decline. And when you’re already dealing with something so personal and traumatizing, it’s just too much. I didn’t want to publicize it and turn my most horrible experience into some kind of media circus just to get justice. I couldn’t handle that kind of attention. And I can’t blame any woman who would want to keep it private.”

  “You really gotta admire the ones that do stand up, though,” Bella agreed on a nod.

  El glanced knowingly her way. “Yeah.”

  “So, what?” I argued, shaking my head, gaping between them. “He’s just going to get away with what he did? Fuck no. I can’t accept that. And think about all the other women he’s no doubt victimized since you two. And before that. It feels like we’re just allowing him to keep doing this if we say nothing.”

  “You sure didn’t talk like this the first time I told you my story,” El murmured, eyeing me thoughtfully.

  “Yes, I did,” I argued on a frown. “The absolute first thing I told you was that you should report it to the police and then find a counselor, not a damn life coach. And you said no, so I didn’t push. I helped you as best I could. But now I have a name and a face to go with this fucker, and then I learn he also hurt the love of my life, so yeah, sorry-not-sorry, but I suddenly want him to pay. Very badly.”

  “You helped us heal, Parker. That’s its own brand of justice right there. He might’ve made us victims, but we didn’t have to stay that way. And you—you gave us the hand we needed to stand back up again.”

  “Yes,” Bella said, pressing her fingers over my heart and showing her appreciation for that with her gaze. “And so did—” But when she glanced up, her smile died. “Guys? Where’s Gracen?”

  “Oh no,” Yellow gasped, lurching to her feet. She covered her mouth with both hands as she glanced around the kitchen. “But he was right here.” She spun toward Bella and me. “You don’t think he—?”

  Except we all knew he had.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, not sure if I was more upset about the fact that he hadn’t taken me along with him on his mission of murder or that I was going to have to stop him from killing someone I didn’t want to stop him from killing.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Gracen

  Ethan wasn’t home. The fucker.

  I stood outside his door, frowning at it, with my hands on my hips, wondering what to do next. I really couldn’t wait until he returned before I killed him, though. He’d already gotten away with what he’d done for over a year now.

  Sighing out my aggravation, I yanked my phone from my pocket and ignored the incoming messages from Bella and Fox. I didn’t have any from Yellow, probably because we hadn’t gotten to the point where we’d exchanged numbers yet.

  We definitely needed to do that.

  But later.

  Typing into the search box for my contacts, I hissed, “Yes,” when I found the fucker’s name. I knew being lazy and forgetting to delete certain people from my address book would come in handy someday.

  I clicked on his profile and snorted when I saw the last two messages we’d sent to each other. He’d asked if we could still be friends even though he and my sister hadn’t worked out.

  My answer had been: Fuck off.

  Grinning, I clicked into his information. He’d shared his location with me once when he and Bella had gone to some wedding in this bizarre, remote location. Bella had worked late and been unable to ride there with him, so I’d driven her up later and was having a hell of a time finding him, so—

  Yes! I still had it.

  He was currently at Goldman�
�s Bar and Grill, huh? Well, I suddenly felt a craving for a pint of beer and chili cheese fries. Maybe I should just stop by on my way home. Catch up with an old friend. Commit a little homicide.

  “Mama,” I sang to myself as I re-pocketed my phone and jogged back to my car. “Just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead…”

  Freddy Mercury, man. I suddenly appreciated his “Bohemian Rhapsody” lyrics like I never had before.

  “Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango?” I kept singing as I slid behind the wheel and started the engine with a vengeance. “Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me. Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Figaro.”

  To say the least, by the time I made it to the bar and grill, I was pumped and ready to face this motherfucker.

  Some game was playing on all the screens when I entered the pub, and almost everyone present seemed invested in watching it. Half the room cheered while the other half groaned and clutched their heads over some play as soon as I stepped inside. I started forward, glancing around, only to come up short and pause to let some tiny waitress dart past me, carrying a huge tray with three pitchers of beer on it.

  Once she was gone, I blew out a breath and continued my search. And there he was, in the far corner with a group of familiar faces, half I remembered hanging around him when he and Bella had been a thing. They had come across as pretentious, narrow-minded assholes to me, so I’d never willingly spent much time with them. But I started toward them now.

  Ethan had his back to me and had just approached a high round table with two pilsners in hand. When he gave one to a woman waiting there, I snorted and shook my head.

  “I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,” I advised her dryly.

  She’d been lifting it to her mouth, but paused and widened her eyes at me while Ethan spun around and blinked before giving me an edgy, confused smile.

  “Gracen,” he said, all friendly and nice with a face that swore he’d never drugged any woman. Filthy liar. “Hi. What’re you—”

  “Is it true?” I asked, stepping right up into his personal space.

  “Whoa, hey.” He lurched back and lifted his hands to block himself before giving me a nervous laugh. “Is what true?” Then he glanced toward his friends with that superior mocking look as if to say, Can you believe this guy?

  I just watched his expression as I said, “Do you roofie women and then sleep with them? Even the ones you date?”

  The woman still holding the pilsner he’d given her quickly set it down and nudged it across the table away from her.

  Ethan spun back to me, smirk dying. “Say what?” He took a moment to digest the accusation before he lifted his hands again, holding them apart this time as a politician would right before delivering some bullshit promise to his constituents. “Look. I don’t know what Bella told you, but—”

  “Bella?” I blinked at him as if stunned he’d mention her name. “Bella didn’t tell me shit. Why? Did you feed her drugs too? On those nights she told you no, she wasn’t in the mood, but you just couldn’t handle that? Did you fucking rape my sister?” I stepped toward him, my jaw tensing. “And Yellow Nicksen too?”

  His eyes flared at Yellow’s name. But of course, he spat, “What? No! Fuck no. This is ridiculous. Get out of my face, man. Yellow can’t keep her legs together, and your sister can’t hold her liquor to save her life. But hey.” He held up his palms in a surrendering gesture. “If you wanna believe a lying whore and some lousy drunk, be my guest.”

  Oh, that was it.

  The rage that blanketed me was scorching hot. I could actually feel it burn a path from my hairline and drain down my face to my collar. My hand fisted at my side as I tried to pick out the perfect spot on his face to punch. Should I go for the most painful place? Or somewhere that would disfigure him the longest? Damn, both options were too tempting to just choose one.

  That’s it; I’d just have to hit him twice. At least.

  But just as I started to lift my arm, a hand gripped it firmly, stopping me.

  “No.”

  I looked up, coming face to face with Fox.

  Damn. They must have used my own location-sharing trick against me.

  “This isn’t what the girls want,” he told me steadily.

  I flashed my teeth at him, ready to tell him how people rarely got what they wanted. Because I sure as hell hadn’t wanted to wake up this morning and learn that two very important women in my life had been assaulted by the same damn man. I’d wanted to wake up wrapped around my beautiful blonde with the pink and blue highlights and spend the rest of the afternoon in bed with her.

  I hadn’t wanted to nurse my sister through the aftereffects of something she hadn’t even known had happened to her either.

  And I hadn’t wanted her to be so emotionally scarred that she’d felt the need to hide a relationship she’d started with one of my best fucking friends from me.

  So why should anyone get what they wanted now?

  But Fox just kept staring at me, so I huffed out a breath, knowing he was right.

  “Who the fuck do you think you are?” Ethan asked Fox, scowling at him.

  Fox slowly glanced his way. “Really? We probably met half a dozen times at all the family events Bella took you to.”

  Ethan squinted a second before pointing. “Oh right. You’re one of those cousins who’s not really a cousin. Damn, am I lucky to have escaped that crazy circus of a—”

  He cut himself off short when Fox narrowed his eyes and took a decidedly angry step toward him. Instantly shutting up, Ethan scurried a step back and blinked at him.

  “You seriously think you’re just going to keep getting away with it, don’t you?” Fox murmured, shaking his head in astounded disbelief. “That all of those poor women will just keep denying to themselves that you would do such a thing to them? You think they’ll all continue to assume they were plastered—that it was all their own foolish fault—and that’s why they don’t remember what happened.”

  “Oh God,” one of the three women at the table croaked.

  We all turned to see her clutching her face between her hands as the color blanched from her face.

  “It wasn’t my fault, was it?” she asked Ethan, her voice ringing with dazed shock.

  The man next to her whipped an incredulous glance her way, exclaiming, “Say what?”

  “I—I—” She started to cry. “I would never cheat on you. I swear. I love you. But he—he said—he told me I—”

  “He said what?” her man demanded, slowly coming to his feet as he gaped at her.

  “I woke up naked next to him,” she explained. “But I don’t remember how I got there or what happened between us.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “I’m so sorry,” she wept, growing so upset and unable to contain herself that one of her friends had to scoot close to wrap a supportive arm around her and steady her. “I c-couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to l-lose you.”

  “Son of a bitch.” He pivoted toward Ethan. “Did you fucking touch my wife?”

  Ethan’s eyes flared and he started to backpedal in reverse. “I—what? No. I would never. The bitch is fucking lying. She came on to me.”

  “Crystal doesn’t lie,” her husband seethed from between clenched teeth as he fisted his hands. “And she’s not a bitch.”

  Fox grabbed my shirt and pulled me out of the way just as Crystal’s husband dove at Ethan and started wailing on him without mercy.

  “I’m getting this tested,” the woman with the pilsner announced, grabbing it and lifting it out of the way just before the fighting pair crashed into the table and knocked it askew. Two of the women yelped in surprise. And one of the guys not brawling grabbed a wallet from the center of another table and flipped it open, tearing out the contents before he paused and lifted a ten-pack bubble package of oblong olive-green pills.

  With one missing.

  “It’s true,” he murmured, g
aping at the proof in his hands. “Holy shit, man, you’re carrying drugs on you right now. You’re a fucking...”

  But he never finished the accusation, too busy watching his other friend pummel Ethan to a bloody pulp, while all the other members of the club stopped watching their game to gather around and either videotape the chaos or call someone for help.

  Fox and I glanced at each other.

  “I think our work here is done,” I announced.

  He nodded, agreeing.

  We turned together and left the sports club, feeling pretty damn good. At least, I did. Fox seemed to feel the same, so when he sent me a satisfied smirk, I threw an arm over his shoulder, and we pushed our way outside together, where two women immediately tackled me, throwing their arms around me and hugging me hard.

  Fox stepped back so I could hug them back and breathe in their two very familiar scents.

  My girls.

  “You’re okay,” Bella hiccupped in relief.

  “We were so worried,” Yellow added.

  Meeting Fox’s gaze over their heads, I frowned. “How the hell did you get them to stay out here?”

  “Are you kidding me?” Bella growled, pulling away to scowl up at me. “Like I wanted to go anywhere near that asshat in there.”

  Yellow shook her head, agreeing. “Neither did I.”

  “And what the hell!” My sister smacked me in the chest. “What did you think you were doing going after him in the first place?”

  “Um, I thought I was avenging you,” I answered. Duh.

  “You could’ve gotten in trouble or hurt or arrested. Do you think either Yellow or I wanted that?”

  “We didn’t,” Yellow told me, looking just as upset as Bella did. “We were way more worried about you staying safe than him paying for his crimes.”

  “But I didn’t kill him,” I argued. “I didn’t even touch the slimy prick.” He probably would’ve left a permanent grease stain behind if I had. “And look.” I motioned through the window where a huge crowd had gathered around Ethan’s table. It looked as if someone had broken the fight up, but yeah, Ethan wasn’t faring through the outcome too well. With his face all bloody and swollen, he needed the help of someone else just to remain upright. But still...