Secrets That We Keep

by Linda Kage

  So I think I hid my feelings rather well when I rolled my eyes and muttered, “Oh, geez. You could’ve just called me, you know, if you wanted baby updates. Or did you lose my contact card?”

  “No.” He shook his head and heaved out a heavy sigh. “I still have it. I just—I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me again after last time since I was kind of a…”

  When words failed him and he shamefully lowered his face, I helpfully supplied, “A jerk? You were a jerk.”

  He glanced up, and his voice cracked when he said, “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

  I shrugged, realizing I actually wasn’t mad about his past behavior anymore, or even if I really ever had been. “It’s okay,” I told him, not wanting him to feel bad about any of it either. It was all water under the bridge. “You were still in the middle of mourning. And I could’ve been a lot more empathetic and patient with you.”

  I squinted at his face, wondering how he was doing these days, grieving-wise. It was hard to tell, though; he was such a closed-off kind of guy. So very different from how his brother had been.

  “What happened last time?” nosy Beau asked, making air quotes when he spoke.

  “None of your business,” I snapped at him, before returning my attention to Vaughn. “This is my brother, Beau, by the way. And his wife, Bentley.”

  Vaughn hitched up his chin silently to Beau, then dragged his gaze across the room to the rocking chair where Bentley still sat. He started to give her a respectful nod, but then the baby in her arms made a noise, and he jolted, instantly dropping his attention to the bundle.

  The air hissed from his lungs, and I held my breath, anxious for his reaction. I’d been in this strange, dazed sense of awe since the moment the nurse had placed my daughter into my arms. She was just so—

  I couldn’t even come up with the proper words to describe the humbling sense of honor I experienced, knowing she was mine to raise and nurture and spend the rest of my life loving. It didn’t feel as if I should deserve such a prize.

  I wanted everyone else to experience that same overwhelming sense of peace and joy in her presence as well. And it seemed like Vaughn was the perfect tough and judgmental candidate to really test her power of influence on. I mean, if he was impressed by her, then my own assessment would be validated.

  Lips parting, Vaughn set the gift bag down next to where he was standing in the middle of the room, and he drifted toward the rocking chair as if a rope were towing him in against his free will.

  “And that’s Ava Grace,” I said softly.

  “Ava?” He glanced my way. “It’s a girl?”

  I nodded.

  Returning his attention to the rocking chair, he peered down as Bentley opened a flap on the blanket wrapped around the baby so he could see her better.

  “Shit.” Sucking in a breath, he set a fist against his mouth and rasped, “Jesus, she has his widow’s peak.”

  He looked so taken with staring at her, that Bentley sent me a questioning glance as if asking what she should do.

  I was too busy trying not to cry to know what the hell to do, though, so I shrugged, clueless, wishing there was some kind of manual to help guide a person through this type of situation.

  Finally, I cleared my throat. “Do you, uh, do you want to hold her?”

  He shot me an incredulous glance as if that were an awful question, but then he licked his lips, looking tempted, and croaked, “I…” He shook his head. “I’ve never held a baby before.”

  “Oh!” God bless Bentley; she was the one who brightly perked to life. “It’s simple. Here.” She rose from the chair, still holding Ava as she did, and Vaughn lurched a worried step back. “You sit,” she offered, “and I’ll just slip her into your lap, nice and easy.”

  He looked uncertain as he glanced at me. I bobbed my head, encouraging him.

  So he blew out a breath and sat. “Okay.”

  “And here she comes,” Bentley murmured gently, giving him fair warning because he seemed jumpy and tense enough to need it.

  He alertly watched her, then brought his arms in to shelter the infant as soon as she was his responsibility. Big hands cupped her around the head, providing a pillow for her, and then he traced his thumb slowly across her brow.

  When she opened her eyes, she seemed to look right at him.

  Now, I know babies have really shitty vision when they’re first born, but being her mother, I had to think Ava Grace had amazing eye contact when she bothered to open her lashes. And at that moment, Vaughn seemed to be fully sucked in and locked on to her direct gaze.

  “Hi,” he whispered, looking as if he’d just been punched in the diaphragm. “I’m your uncle Vaughn. And you…” He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. When he reopened them, his chin trembled. “You’re the only family I have left.”

  As those words grated their way from his throat, his knee started to bob. He sniffed and shook his head, fighting some inner battle. But he must’ve decided the bobbing probably disturbed Ava, so he stopped abruptly and muttered, “Sorry,” only for a sob to explode from the base of his throat. “Ah, hell.”

  Another sob emerged. His face turned a deep red as twin trails of tears dribbled down his cheeks. Then he rasped out a hoarse, indistinguishable sound and bit his lip.

  But it didn’t help. Losing control of his emotions, he hunched over the child, his big shoulders trembling, and he wept.

  Vaughn was not an easy weeper, either. He constantly tried to rein the pain back in, which only caused these worse bursts of grief to explode out of him violently whenever they broke free.

  When he finally gave up on trying to prevent it, he lifted Ava to his shoulder, where he buried his face into her blanket and rocked, holding on to her as if only she could soothe his wounded soul.

  Realizing Ava Grace was the only living piece of his brother he had left, I covered my mouth with my own hand as I felt tears welling.

  “Damn,” Beau breathed next to me as he gaped, watching the poor guy completely lose it.

  I slapped him in the arm, and he frowned at me, mouthing “What?”

  Bentley appeared at his side then, taking his hand. “I think we’re going to check out the cafeteria for some breakfast now,” she told me, sniffing because her own eyes were suspiciously moist. “We’ll be back.”

  I nodded to them gratefully, thinking Vaughn would appreciate the bit of privacy.

  In fact, I would’ve climbed out of the bed I was in and taken a stroll down the halls myself right about then, to give him some time to himself, but it had been a really long night, giving birth to my daughter, and I hadn’t yet changed out of my hospital gown, so I didn’t feel like flashing my bare ass to the entire hospital either.

  So I just sat there and witnessed it all.

  By the time Vaughn pulled himself back together, I felt shaken to the core. I wiped frantically at my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice how hard I’d cried with him.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled in a hoarse, broken voice, refusing to meet my gaze as he pushed his way to his feet to bring Ava Grace to me.

  “No, no,” I assured him. “You’re okay. This is some intense stuff. I get it.” Then I sent him a watery smile as he gently set Ava Grace in my arms. “I really am sorry about Duke.”

  He nodded and pulled away to drag the back of his hand across his nose. “Thanks. I know he was a pain-in-the-ass wise guy, but he was all I had, you know?”

  “I understand,” I assured him, looking down at my little girl. “But at least that’s not the case anymore.”

  Vaughn’s gaze rose questionably to my face. Then he blinked and cleared his throat before motioning toward the bag still sitting in the middle of the floor. “I, uh, I brought you some of those things you asked for. It’s just some pictures and family memory albums and stuff.”

  “You did?” I brightened into a happy smile. “That’s great. Thank you. But, uh, are you sure about the memory albums? I don’t want to take anything too sentimental from
you.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, easing a step back as if he were preparing to bolt. “They should be kept with Duke’s daughter.”

  I glanced at the angelic face of the infant in my arms. Then up again. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you just keep the albums and then stay in touch with us? That way, you can tell Ava Grace all about Duke when she’s older.”

  He gaped at me in wonder for a moment, then shook his head slightly. “A-are you sure? You wouldn’t mind if I—I mean, it’s okay to visit her sometimes?”

  “Of course. You’re well-meaning family, aren’t you? Well, good family sticks together.” Then I cracked a grin and rolled my eyes. “I mean, trust me, if I thought relatives were that disposable, I might’ve gotten rid of Beau ages ago.” But then I lifted a finger thoughtfully and added, “But kept his wife and kid around, for sure.”

  He smiled vaguely over my lame attempt at a joke, only to fall serious again. “Thank you. I...” He shook his head, looking like he might burst into tears again, but he managed to hold it in by clearing his throat and sending me a tense smile. “I appreciate it.” Easing a step back, he jammed his hands uncomfortably into his pockets. “Well…” He glanced toward the door, then turned back. “I still have your card, so I’ll—I’ll just keep in touch?”

  Since he’d made it a question, I nodded encouragingly. “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Alright then. Great.” He risked another peek at Ava Grace, then met my gaze. “Thank you,” he murmured before turning away to leave the room, totally forgetting the gift bag full of Merrill family albums.

  I blew out a heavy breath at his departure, figuring I’d get his stuff back to him later. Because it definitely seemed like there would be another later between us.

  Which was weird. Vaughn Merrill was going to be a permanent fixture in my life from now on. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I dreaded our next encounter or looked forward to it because, wow, it might’ve taken a couple of attempts to warm up to the guy, but once you did…

  Holy hell. He left quite an impact.

  The rest of Lucy Olivia’s story

  will continue in…

  INSTA-FAMILY

  Forbidden Universe Books

  in Chronological Order

  Forbidden Men Series

  Book 1

  PRICE OF A KISS

  (Reese and Mason)

  Book 2

  TO PROFESSOR, WITH LOVE

  (Aspen and Noel)

  Book 3

  BE MY HERO

  (Pick and Eva)

  Book 4

  WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT

  (Quinn and Zoey)

  Book 5

  A PERFECT TEN

  (Ten and Caroline)

  Book 6

  WORTH IT

  (Knox and Felicity)

  Book 7

  THE GIRL'S GOT SECRETS

  (Remy and Asher)

  Book 8

  PRICELESS

  (Sarah and Brandt)

  Book 9

  CONSOLATION PRIZE

  (Julianna and Colton)

  Book 10

  THE PRICE OF MASON

  (Mason and Reese)

  2nd Generation

  Not Forbidden Men books,

  just where-are-they-now full and mini stories

  OFF BALANCE

  Mini 5-chapter story,

  featuring Julian:

  Son of Pick and Eva

  (found at the end of The Price of Mason)

  TIS THE SEASON

  Mini 4-chapter story,

  featuring Skylar:

  Daughter of Pick and Eva

  (found at the end of The Forbidden Men Box Set)

  DEAR WORTHY

  Mini 5-chapter story,

  featuring Beau:

  son of Aspen and Noel

  and Bentley:

  daughter of Knox and Felicity

  (found at the end of Secrets That We Keep)

  ONCE UPON A CANOE TRIP

  Mini 4-chapter story,

  featuring Teagan:

  daughter of Ten and Caroline

  and JB:

  son of Quinn and Zoey

  (found at the end of The Price of Mason)

  PLAYING TO WIN

  Mini 4-chapter story,

  featuring Rory:

  daughter of Asher and Remy

  (found at the end of The Price of Mason)

  THE REVENGE PLAN

  full length novel,

  featuring Haven,

  daughter of Sarah and Brandt

  BEWARE OF MAVERICK

  Mini 3-chapter story,

  featuring Cress,

  son of Julianna and Colton

  (found at the end of Secrets That We Keep)

  SECRETS THAT WE KEEP

  full length novel,

  featuring Bella:

  daughter of Reese and Mason

  and twin Gracen:

  son of Reese and Mason

  and Fox:

  son of Felicity and Knox

  INSTA-FAMILY

  full length novel,

  featuring Lucy Olivia:

  daughter of Noel and Aspen

  (releasing in 2021 or 2022)

  Other 2nd Gen Children who will have stories someday

  Trick (son of Pick and Eva)

  Chloe (daughter of Pick and Eva)

  Luke (son of Zoey and Quinn)

  Ayden (daughter of Asher and Remy)

  Riley (daughter of Asher and Remy)

  For a full family tree, check out:

  https://lindakage.com/fmtimeline.html

  Or for a full Forbidden Men timeline, check out:

  https://lindakage.com/fmtimeline.pdf

  About the Author

  Linda writes romance fiction from YA to adult, contemporary to fantasy. Most Kage stories lean more toward the lighter, sillier side with a couple meaningful moments thrown in. Focuses more on entertainment value and emotional impact.

  Published since 2010. Went through a 2-year writing correspondence class in children’s literature from The Institute of Children’s Literature. Then graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, English with an emphasis in creative fiction writing from Pittsburg State University.

  Now she lives with her hubby, two daughters, cat Holly, and nine cuckoo clocks in southeast Kansas, USA. Farm girl. Parents were dairy farmers. Was youngest of eight. Big family. Day job as a cataloging library assistant.

  Harry Potter House Gryffindor, Patronus White Stallion, character match Hagrid. Supernatural Team Dean. Game of Thrones Team Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister. The Walking Dead Team Daryl. Outlander Team Jamie Fraser. Teen Wolf Team Stiles. Avenger Team Thor...or Hulk (can’t decide). Justice League Team Flash. Arrow Team Stephen Amell. Stranger Things obsessed. Heard Laurel, not Yanny.

  Started out reading with the Baby-Sitters Club. Then moved to Sandra Brown, Linda Howard, Julie Garwood, and LaVyrle Spencer in high school. Now all over the place with her romance reading tastes.

  Find her online at www.LindaKage.com