This Trust of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  "I won't bite, I promise cowboy." And just like that, he released the small breath he had been holding and came over to engulf me in his arms. I threw my arms around his waist, burying my face deep into his chest as the tears I didn't know were there waiting to escape, began falling down my cheeks.

  "It's okay, Darlin'. It's okay to grieve."

  "But she doesn't deserve it." I mumbled.

  "No, no she doesn't, but you deserve to be able to and move on."

  I held onto him as though he was my lifeline. The fact that I hadn't seen or even heard from my mother since the day she showed up, seemed to perturb me more than anything else. And as far as Wren was concerned, well I hope that rotten bastard was burning in hell for all the shit he had put me through. I knew my mother was an evil person, but the little girl inside of me, just wished for that one day that she could have been the mother I knew as a young child.

  "Thank you for being here Madison. I don't think you know how much it really means to me to have you here."

  "I love you Kayla. I would give my life for you."

  Madison walked me over to the bed and flipped back the covers for me to climb in. "Only if you lay with me." I looked up at him hoping he would stay.

  "Always."

  We laid there in complete silence until we heard the front door creek open. I knew if my grandparents found us like this, that it would turn into a shouting match, but that was the least of my concerns right now. Right now, I was a five-year-old little girl mourning the death of a mother I knew once upon a time.

  "Kayla, are you up there?" My grandmomma's voice floated up the stairs like a far off dream. When my door swung open and she took one look at the picture in front of her, I knew she must've already gotten the same phone call.

  "Is she okay?"

  "I think so. I think she just needs some time to process everything." Madison replied, as I stared aimlessly out the window. I wanted to turn and say something, anything to the woman who had lost her child, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything at all.

  "Thank you for being there for her Madison. She's lucky to have you."

  With that, she turned and walked away, leaving Madison and myself in the comfort of the room I had learned to call my own.

  I turned around in his arms and laid my head on his chest. As he lay there brushing my hair back over my shoulder, I slowly drifted off to sleep, where for the last time, I got to see my mother as she used to be and say a proper goodbye.

  Chapter 23

  Madison

  I woke up just as the sun was rising in a room that I was unfamiliar with at first. As I rolled onto my side, I bumped into Kayla's sleeping form and then it dawned on me, that I had stayed with her all night. I quietly made my way out of the bed, grabbing my pants and shirt on the way to the bathroom. I quickly dialed my grandparent's number, just hoping that everything was okay. As of late, I hadn't been sleeping so well, almost waiting for my grandmother to wake me up and tell me he was gone. This morning was no different. After the third ring I was about to make my way home, but then I heard my grandmother's voice answer.

  "Madison, is that you?"

  I let out the breath I had been holding in anticipation of someone answering. "Morning, Gran. I'm so sorry I didn't make it home last night. Something came up with Kayla and she needed me. Is Grandpa okay? Do you need me to come home?"

  "Everything is fine Madison. You don't need to worry so much. Your grandfather is actually having a really good day. You take all the time you need to be there for that young lady. Her grandmother called me this morning to fill me in. Please tell Kayla how sorry we are for her loss."

  "I will Gran. Thank you. I'll see y'all a little bit later today. Love you."

  "I love you too Madison."

  I hung up the phone and splashed some water on my face to try to wake myself up. I cracked open the door to check on Kayla and surprisingly enough, she was still sound asleep. I didn't want to wake her, so I quietly made my way out of her room and down to the dining room, where I unexpectedly ran into her grandfather. I could tell by the look on his face, that he was ready to go to war, but if I had learned anything in the last twenty-four hours, it was to not sweat the small stuff. He may not agree with the relationship I had with his granddaughter, but there was no way I was ever walkin' away from her.

  "Good mornin', Mr. James." I placed my hat on my head before heading into the kitchen where Kayla's grandmother stood makin' breakfast.

  "Madison, I'd like to have a chat with ya." His voice was serious and low and I knew if I refused, he wouldn't take it lightly.

  "Yes, Sir."

  He motioned for me to follow him out onto their back porch. I waited for him to sit before taking the chair next to his. My body tensed under the questioning gaze of Mr. James and my heart was goin' about a mile a minute, not knowin' exactly what he was about to say.

  "Do you love my granddaughter?"

  Alright, straight to the point it was. "Absolutely, with every fiber of my being."

  "Cause that girl up there deserves someone who loves her. Who really loves her, not just thinks that they do. I won't stand for y'all doin' whatever you're doin', if you are just gonna up and leave again. Do you understand what I'm sayin' son?"

  "Of course, Sir. I know I can say it until I'm blue in the face, but your granddaughter is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life." I caught the disbelief in his eyes as he stared intently at me. "I know we are young sir, but I have no doubt that one day I will be askin' for your permission to marry your granddaughter."

  "I'm not sure if you'll get the answer you seek when that day presents itself young man."

  "With all do respect sir, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for that girl in there. I knew the minute I left her here a few months back, that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I came back for her. To start a life with her. I'm not sayin' I would run off tomorrow and marry her, but if that's what I need to do to prove to you how much I care for her, I would, in a heartbeat."

  Mr. James sat forward resting his chin on his hands. "I may have been wrong Madison, and trust me, I'm rarely if ever wrong about anything. But, I believe I may have been wrong about you. I'll admit it, I judged you solely based on my past with your family, and I never wanted to give you a fair shot. After Kayla showed up here the way she did, the last thing I wanted was for her to get tangled up in a playboy like you."

  I opened my mouth to protest, but Mr. James silenced me with a raise of his finger. "Let me finish, son."

  "Sorry."

  "That little girl in there is my entire world, always has been. Just as you say you would give your life for her, so would I and I wouldn't even hesitate to do so. Now I'm not sayin' that I completely trust you yet, but you sure have proved to be more of a man than I could have expected you to be. I know you've had it rough, just as she has, but I won't sit back and watch my daughter, for all intents purpose, get her heart broken. Now, I reckon you know what happened to my daughter and that's why you stayed under my roof last night, am I correct?"

  "Yes, Sir." I still couldn't bring myself to look directly in his direction. As much as I didn't want to be intimidated by this man, I was. He had a, don't fuck with me attitude, and if I ever questioned my future with Kayla, now would be the time to walk away. Clearly, that was never gonna happen, so I sat back and listened to everything Mr. James was sayin'.

  "How's your granddad doin'?"

  I wasn't exactly sure what caused the change of subject or even how he had known, but I welcomed it all the same. "He's hangin' in there, I suppose."

  Mr. James' hand stretched over and grabbed onto mine. He didn't hold it tight, but gave it a good squeeze, just as I noticed the tears forming behind his eyes. "He's very proud of you Madison. After everything that happened with your father, he was so worried that you would end up goin' down the same path. That stubborn old son of a bitch is a fighter, and I know he will make sure he sticks around along as god allows."

&n
bsp; "Sir, I'm not tryin' to be rude, but I was under the impression that you and my grandfather no longer spoke to one another?"

  "There was a long time when we didn't. There was a bit of bad blood between us, but as you get older and you see the mistakes your children make and how your grandchildren could possibly follow, you learn to let things go. I've accepted our pasts for what they are. I made amends with your granddad awhile back. Never told my wife, but there was no reason to. Her and your grandma are on good terms now, and that's all that really matters to me." I got the feeling that he would've continued to open up to me, but just then the screen door creaked open and Kayla's beautiful glowing face, appeared on the other side of it.

  "What are you two doin' out here all by yourselves? Does my grandmomma know and if so, is she waitin' inside with a shot gun?" A small giggle escaped from her mouth and I instantly relaxed, knowing that today seemed as though it was goin' to be a better one.

  "I was just havin' a chat with your fella here. I'll let you two spend some time together. No school for you today, you hear me?" Kayla nodded her head in understanding and placed a small kiss to her grandfather's cheek.

  "Thank you, Sir." I stood and reached for his hand to shake it, and just like that, he returned the gesture.

  "Anytime, Madison."

  After I was sure that Mr. James was back inside. I reached my hands out for Kayla's and pulled her into my chest. I wrapped her safely into me and kissed the top of her head.

  "How did that go?" She whispered.

  "Better than I could have imagined."

  "Good."

  She bent her head back to look into my eyes. She looked amazingly beautiful in the early mornin' sun, and her eyes were a sparkling grayish blue. I was mesmerized by her beauty and strength. I had never met anyone like her and hopefully she would never give me the chance to do so.

  "What would you like to do today, if school is out of the question?"

  "Honestly, I'd like to go see your grandfather, if that's okay with you?"

  "Of course, pretty girl. Anything you want."

  ****

  We made it over to my grandparent's house in time for lunch and just as I had suspected, my gran was busy cooking up a storm. When I first walked into the kitchen, she hadn't realized who I had brought with me until I cleared my throat. Then she finally looked up and the smile that woman wore on her face lit up the entire room.

  "Kayla. It's so good to see you dear." I could her the sympathy in her tone and I just hoped it wouldn't deter Kayla from still wantin' to hang out here for the day.

  "Hi Lydia. Is there anything I can help you with?"

  "Absolutely not, but you can come over here and give this old woman a hug."

  I watched as Kayla and my grandmother embraced one another, and I couldn't help but smile. Just seeing the acceptance in my grans eyes, made me happier than I could ever be.

  "I'm very sorry for your loss."

  "Thanks Lydia, but really, I’m okay."

  "I know ya are dear, but still, no child should have to lose a parent under those circumstances."

  I shook my head, silently chastising my gran for even bringin' it up. I wasn't sure how Kayla was goin' to handle all of this, but I doubt that she wanted to talk about it. I heard my grandfather's footsteps get closer behind where I stood, and I turned quickly to make sure he didn't need help.

  "Don't ya dare even try boy. God, you act like I'm dyin' or somethin'."

  A small wave of laughter filtered through the room, catching Kayla a little off guard.

  "Oh darlin', if you can't joke about it, then what's the point?" He winked at her, before pulling her into a hug. "Thanks for comin' over and makin' a dyin' man's day. You look even more beautiful than the night we picked ya up."

  I watched as the blush rose up into Kayla's cheeks. She rarely got embarrassed, but when she did, her whole face looked like a bright red tomato.

  "Thank you Mr. Raine."

  "I told you to call me Jasper."

  Sorry, Jasper."

  "Now that's more like it. Come, sit, let's eat and y'all can fill me in on what's been goin' on with the two of you."

  Twenty minutes later, we were all sitting around the dining room table laughing and having a great conversation, when we all turned as the doorbell rang. I was pretty sure that we weren't expecting anyone. Cami wasn't due to come into town until tomorrow and I sent Glenn a text this mornin' letting him know I would call him later. I wiped my hands on the cloth napkin on my lap, before excusing myself to go and answer it. When I pulled back the door, the last person I expected to see was Joey fuckin' Green, standin' on my goddamn doorstep. I pushed past him, pullin' him along with me out onto the porch.

  "What the hell do you think your doin' showin' up at my house unannounced? Are you ever goin' to get the fuckin' hint?"

  "Look Madison, I'm not lookin' to cause trouble. I just wanted to check on Kayla and make sure she was okay after yesterday."

  "Of course she's not, but she has me and her family to help her through all of this. She doesn't need you sniffin' around."

  I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins and I swore if he said one thing that was even remotely out of line, I would drop him where he stood.

  "Jeez Madison, you really are that insecure about me and your girl bein' friends, aren't you?"

  "Not sure I would call it insecure. Let's just call it, I know the games that you play and you ain't playin' them on my girl."

  "Madison really, back off. I can handle this. We are just friends." I hadn't heard her come out the door and I quickly turned, makin' sure she wasn't pissed.

  "Then by all means." I waved in Joey's direction before pullin' up a seat on the porch. If there was somethin' he needed to say to her, then he could say it with me there.

  Chapter 24

  Kayla

  "Madison, please give us a minute."

  "Are you serious right now?" Madison was fuming and I knew he was gonna blow any minute now.

  I moved my hand across his chest and then rested it over his heart. "You have nothin' to worry about cowboy. Just give me a few minutes to get some stuff straight with him, please?"

  I looked up at him, turning on my signature pouty face, knowing he caved every time. "Fine, but only a few minutes. I’ll be inside." What started out as a small peck on the lips turned full on rated PG-13 kiss, that I'm almost certain he had planned out. When he finally broke contact, I just smiled and pushed him in the direction of the door.

  "Okay, okay I'm goin'. Don't touch my girl Joey."

  "Inside Madison, now!"

  I swear he was like a dog marking his territory. I turned towards Joey and motioned for him to sit next to me on the steps. When he settled in next to me, I turned wanting to know why he felt the need to come over to Madison's house to speak to me.

  "What are you doin' here Jo?" I crossed my arms over my chest as a cool breeze blew across my skin.

  "I just needed to know you were okay. Yesterday was pretty-"

  "Intense."

  "Yeah, intense. Look first off, I'm sorry for what I said. I was outta line and I never should've put you in that position."

  "You're right you shouldn't have. I thought you knew we were just friends Joey. This entire time, you knew how I felt about Madison. You knew what he meant to me. I thought you respected that?"

  "I do KJ, I do, but...KJ I couldn't have dreamt up a better girl. From the minute you bumped into me outside the grocery store, I wanted you. I knew that I could only be your friend, but I guess I thought in time, Madison would screw up like he usually does and then you would see me as more. Obviously, I underestimated the effect he has on you."

  I placed my hand on Joey's hand that was sittin' on his knee. "I like you Joey, but as a friend. I know it's shitty to hear that, but it's always been Madison. I'm sorry if I ever led you on or made you think otherwise. I swear that was never my intention."

  "I know. A guy can hope, right?"

  "Yeah
, I guess so. Look it was one hell of a day yesterday and I'm still tryin' to sort it all out, but I still want to be your friend."

  He turned his body towards me and pulled me into a deep hug. "Of course, if friends is all I can be with you, then I'll take it."

  "Good. I'm so glad to hear that. Now, why aren't you at school?"

  He pulled back out of our embrace and stood wiping the dirt from his jeans. "I just wanted to clear some things up with you and make sure you were okay. Call me if you need anything at all KJ. I'll always be here."

  "Thanks Joey. I'll see ya after this weekend."

  "Sounds good." He gave a small wave as he made his way over to his truck at the end of the driveway.

  I stood there watching him walk away and feeling like the biggest asshole for havin' to actually put him in his place. Joey had been nothin' but nice to me and here I was all but breakin' his heart. But, I knew Joey well enough to know that he wouldn't have a hard time gettin' over me. There was a line a mile long of girls at school who were dyin' to be with him.

  I made my way back inside and just as I passed through the foyer, I squealed as Madison's arms wrapped tightly around my waist, swinging me around in circles. "Put me down, Madison."

  "As you wish pretty girl." He gently threw me over onto the small sofa in the living room before settling in over me. "You drive me crazy, you know that right?"

  "I'm beginning to see that." I giggled.

  My hands slid into the back of his hair, knocking off his hat as I pressed my eager lips against his. I knew his grandparents were still in the other room, so the kiss didn’t last as long as I would of liked it to, but the look in my eyes should have conveyed that we would continue this later.

  "To be continued?" He whispered just below my earlobe, sending goose bumps across my skin.

  "Exactly." I whispered back.

  He pulled me up off of the couch with him and led me back into the dining room where his grandparents still sat chatting away.