Underworld

by Cathy MacPhail

  Angie managed a Girl Guide kind of smile. ‘I wish you wouldn’t smoke, Fiona. It’s so bad for your health.’

  ‘Angie hen, sometimes you sound like my mother.’ Fiona thought about that for a second. ‘No, take that back. My mother shares her fags with me. You’re worse than a mother, Angie.’

  Angie only looked pleased at that. She didn’t seem to realise it was meant as an insult. She began to tidy up the room, lifting the clothes that Fiona had flung around and folding them neatly on a chair. Fiona couldn’t get her head out of that window quick enough. This girl wasn’t real. She’d read too many books. She thought she was living in one of them. She thought life was a book.

  Maybe it was. But certainly not a Chalet School book.

  More like a horror story.

  Zesh had recovered by the evening meal. He’d been stupid to forget his inhaler in the first place. But once back in the room, he’d sneaked it out of his drawer and it had worked its usual magic. No one had suspected. Axel was too stupid to realise what was wrong with him, and Liam not interested enough. Angie (was she for real with that singing?) was totally oblivious to everything but her surroundings.

  Only Fiona seemed suspicious – but she’d put it down to his lack of fitness – and that suited Zesh. Let them think what they liked. For now, he felt great, and it would never happen again. He’d never again forget that inhaler.

  ‘This food is crap!’ Axel spat out a mouthful back on to his plate.

  Zesh was disgusted. ‘Do you do that in your own house …?’ He paused. ‘Yes, I imagine you do.’

  The cook had heard him too. She strode across to them. Her name was Mrs Soames, and she had a face like a horse with constipation. ‘I’ve never had any complaints before,’ she snapped. She was waving a ladle about threateningly.

  ‘They probably didn’t survive long enough to complain,’ Fiona butted in. Mrs Soames turned on her too.

  ‘I can tell you’re only used to the best caviare. Chips and peas more like.’

  Fiona laughed. ‘Aye, but cordon blue chips and peas.’ Even Zesh had to smile at that and Mrs Soames saw that too.

  ‘You got a complaint as well? I thought it would be only curries you’re used to.’

  Zesh’s smile disappeared. The woman was nasty. He decided he didn’t like her and he was sure she could tell that in his face.

  Liam suddenly grabbed at his throat, started to gag. ‘Help me, I’ve been poisoned … aaaagh …’ and he fell over.

  Their whole table erupted in laughter. Mrs Soames wasn’t laughing. She lifted Liam by the collar and swung him about. ‘Think you’re funny, son. A good feed would kill you. You look anorexic.’ Liam was trying to struggle free of her but she wouldn’t let him go. ‘Oh, look at the skinny wee rabbit. He wouldn’t even make a good plate of soup.’

  Now everyone was laughing, but they were laughing at Liam, and Zesh could see that Liam didn’t like it. His face was bright red. Zesh couldn’t blame him for being angry. Mrs Soames couldn’t make a fool of Axel. He was big and strong and looked likely to thump her without a moment’s hesitation. But Liam? He was easy meat for her to humiliate.

  Suddenly, Mr Marks was in the canteen, striding towards their table, his face like thunder. ‘Mrs Soames. Put that boy down!’

  She immediately obliged and dropped Liam, who fell like a plucked chicken to the ground.

  Mrs Soames was not the least apologetic. ‘You tell them to mind their manners, or they might find something in their meals they’re not expecting.’ And she slouched back into her kitchen.

  ‘Are you sure she should be working with children?’ Fiona asked. ‘If you ask me she’s escaped from a horror movie.’

  ‘Mrs Soames has been here for years. She’s a bit eccentric, that’s all.’

  ‘Eccentric? She’s a loony!’ Fiona snorted.

  ‘I think the food’s quite nice,’ Angie said, munching.

  After the evening meal, Mr Marks and the other teachers who were in charge began calling them all to attention. ‘Right, we’re going to have a get to know each other game.’

  The words had hardly dropped from his lips before Angie was jumping up and down and clapping her hands eagerly. ‘Oh, great fun!’

  Fiona looked at her as if she was mad.

  ‘You’re all going to hang a card around your neck, like this one.’ Mr Marks held up a specially prepared white card, with string looped through holes at each side. ‘Each of you will be given a pencil and you go around the room and write something about that person on the card.’ There was a ripple of sniggers. ‘No. No one is allowed to put anything rude, or detrimental, or negative about anyone. You could say someone has a nice smile, or lovely hair.’

  Zesh’s glance fell on Axel. What could anyone possibly say that was positive about him? That would be a hard one. Zesh decided he’d just avoid him.

  Mr Marks went on, ‘No one will know what’s written on their back until the end of the evening.’

  ‘I’m not playin’ any stupid game!’ Axel said.

  Mr Marks practically ignored him. ‘Game still applies. People can write on your card anyway.’

  There were a lot of giggles and laughing as people jostled to collect their cards, slipped them around their necks and began walking around the room looking for who they would pick on first.

  It was funny to watch. One really long and lanky boy from the other school was walking about with, ‘He’s tall, that’s about it.’

  Someone had written on Fiona’s, ‘She’s a wonderful friend.’ It was Angie’s handwriting.

  And someone else had written, ‘She’s dead funny.’

  Liam’s said, ‘He can draw.’

  Zesh had never known that until today. Why did he hide it?

  Mr Marks suddenly rushed up to Angie and began rubbing something out on her card. He glared at a girl from the other school who had smirked as she’d written it.

  ‘Was it something rude, sir?’ Angie asked naively.

  Zesh had seen exactly what it said: ‘She couldn’t be much fatter, could she?’

  But Mr Marks covered it up beautifully. ‘They can’t spell “pretty”, Angie,’ he said.

  The girl from the other school sniggered. ‘Aye, pretty fat.’

  And Fiona stepped forward. ‘Aye, but she’s got a pretty face … fat people usually do, and anyway, you’re pretty ugly.’

  The girl pushed her aside. ‘Who are you, the organ grinder’s monkey? You’re ugly enough.’

  Fiona grabbed her by the throat and almost lifted her off her feet. ‘You want me to trail you, hen?’

  Mr Marks roared with anger. ‘That’s enough! Fiona, I thought it would be the boys who would be fighting, not you.’

  ‘Oh but Mr Marks, she was sticking up for me.’

  Fiona almost went white. ‘No, I wasn’t. I was sticking up for me! She called me a monkey!’ But Angie wouldn’t listen. Nothing would stop her from thinking that once again Fiona had taken her side.

  At the end of the evening when they read their cards, Zesh’s said, ‘He sticks up for people.’ That was the one he liked best. Had Angie written that? Or had she written, ‘He’s dead good-looking’? However, he had a feeling it was Fiona who had written, ‘He looks too clean for my liking.’ Wow! Some compliment.

  Angie was over the moon with hers. She hugged it against herself. ‘I’ll keep this for ever.’ ‘She’s always so positive,’ it read. ‘That’s me,’ she said. ‘Always positive.’

  And Axel? Zesh watched him as he pulled his card off and threw it across the floor angrily. There was nothing written on it. People were probably too frightened to write anything, or were they, like Zesh, unable to find anything good to say about Axel O’Rourke.

  Chapter 10

  Liam waited nearly three days to get his own back on Mrs Soames. It took him that amount of time to come up with his plan. It was a beauty. Just the right thing to make that horrible woman regret what she’d done to him.

  He was up early that mo
rning. He had to be. Sneaking out of bed and into the fields. His work done, he climbed back into bed, sure that no one had missed him. So he jumped out of his skin when Axel turned and spoke to him. ‘Where were you?’

  ‘Toilet,’ he said, and hoped his voice wasn’t shaking.

  Axel didn’t question that. ‘I hate this place.’ He stared out of the window. ‘Food’s rubbish, and this is the first day it hasn’t rained.’ He listened for a moment to the birds singing in the woods. ‘And if that dawn chorus doesn’t shut up I’m going out there and shooting them.’

  Liam was almost tempted to tell him then what he’d done, so they could laugh about it. He decided against it. Liam kept things to himself and that was the best way, he had found. He liked secrets.

  ‘We’re halfway through the week, maybe it’ll get better.’

  ‘Well, at least it can’t get any worse.’

  Mrs Soames didn’t come in until midmorning. The first thing she always did was to turn on the ovens to heat them for the lunch. Liam had been watching her. He knew her routine. Today every group would be in for lunch, after a morning’s woodland walk. No one was going to miss his revenge.

  As they neared the hostel, they could hear Mrs Soames screaming at the top of her voice. The smell was horrendous. A smell so disgusting, especially coming from the kitchens, that some people were actually being sick outside.

  ‘What on earth is that!’ Mr Marks ran on ahead.

  ‘It smells as if somebody’s got diarrhoea and didn’t make the lavvy,’ Fiona shouted, covering her nose with her sweater. ‘I knew her food was bad, but never that bad, surely.’

  They all ran, following the teacher, and if anyone noticed that Liam only strode behind them no one remarked on it.

  As soon as they went into the canteen, Mrs Soames caught sight of them and she ran at them. ‘You! I know it was you!’ She lunged at Axel. ‘You did it!’

  ‘Did what? Is that not your stew that’s cooking?’ He sniffed it. ‘Agh, smells good today, Agnes.’

  Mrs Soames pushed at Mr Marks. ‘See, I knew he had something to do with it.’ Her eyes went to Zesh. ‘Or him. They’re all the same.’

  It was easy to see that Zesh was surprised by her outburst at him. He wasn’t used to that. But her accusing gaze didn’t even touch Liam.

  Mr Marks stepped forward. ‘Was it you, Axel?’ His voice seemed to answer the question. Of course it was Axel. Who else could it have been? And Axel didn’t help matters with his answer.

  ‘I just wish I’d thought of it.’

  ‘What happened, anyway?’ Liam asked, keeping a straight face.

  Mrs Soames jumped forward. She was ready to lift Axel by the throat. Luckily, Liam thought, Mr Marks was there in front of her. And anyway, Axel was built like a horse.

  ‘What happened?’ she yelled. ‘I’ll tell you what happened. Some dirty so-and-so put cow dung in my ovens! Cow dung, and I started heating it up this morning!’

  Fiona burst out laughing. Even Zesh laughed. Only Angie looked as if she might cry in sympathy. Their amusement only made Mrs Soames even madder. ‘See!’ she shouted at the teacher. ‘I told you they were a bad lot.’

  That only made them worse.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re laughing at,’ she screamed at them. ‘It only means there will be no dinner for you tonight!’

  Axel almost fell over laughing. ‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’

  They were all taken to the local chippy that night for their food. It was supposed to be a punishment. It was the best meal they’d had all week. Mr Marks still wasn’t happy with them, especially Axel, sure that he was the culprit.

  And Axel didn’t deny it.

  ‘How do you not tell him it wasn’t you?’ Fiona asked him more than once.

  ‘Let him think what he wants. I don’t care,’ was his answer.

  That night back at the hostel Mr Marks outlined their itinerary for the next day. Another joyful hike in the wild, finishing with his special treat, ‘Though I don’t think you deserve it,’ he told them. The caves. He was taking them down into the caves.

  The caves on the island, he said, were spectacular. Famous throughout the world for their grandeur, some explored and some unexplored. An adventure he felt they couldn’t miss, even if they didn’t deserve the chance.

  ‘Caves? Underground? He thinks I’m going into some grotty old caves? In his dreams,’ Fiona complained.

  After the teacher left them, they sat around the coal fire in the communal sitting room, angrily discussing the next day’s trip. Fiona was desperate for a cigarette, which was doing nothing to help her mood.

  ‘What is it with him and these caves? How can anybody enjoy being buried alive?’ This was Axel.

  Fiona turned on him. ‘I thought you would understand, Axel. Worms like you are usually found under rocks, are they not? You should feel quite at home.’

  There was a gasp from everyone. Fiona held Axel’s stare. For a moment she wasn’t sure if she’d gone too far. Had she given him just that one push that would send Axel over the edge? She tried not to swallow, stared him out.

  ‘Bitch,’ he said.

  Fiona breathed with relief. Axel could never match her in the mouth department.

  ‘Talking of worms …’ The voice of Mrs Soames took them by surprise. She stood in the doorway watching them. The light from the hall was behind her, she was only a silhouette, and the glow from the fire was sending eerie shadows across her face.

  ‘I hope you’re not here to tell us any ghost stories,’ Fiona said drily.

  Angie shot forward in her seat. ‘Oh, I love ghost stories. Go on, Mrs Soames, tell us a ghost story.’

  She shook her head. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t dream of telling you young people a ghost story. Not away out here, totally secluded in the dark woods.’ She grinned. ‘I thought I would tell you a bit of history, instead.’

  History, Fiona was thinking. Ghost stories she could handle, but history? Forget it. She got to her feet. ‘I’m goin’ to my bed.’

  Mrs Soames stood in front of her, barring her way out of the room. ‘Uch, sit yourself down. Do you not want to hear the legend?’

  Fiona sighed. ‘And what legend would that be … The legend of the cook that cooked dung?’ She giggled, and Mrs Soames’s face grew dark.

  ‘There’s lots of legends about caves. Caves are strange, mysterious places. They’re like catacombs under this island, winding everywhere. Lots of stories about them. After Culloden, you know, a lot of the Jacobites hid out in the caves. Some of them never came out.’

  Fiona looked around them. ‘One of them kind of stories. Somethin’ in there, got them, didn’t it?’ She didn’t sound impressed at all.

  ‘Have you never heard of Sawney Bean?’ the cook asked. They all looked at her blankly. ‘He lived in caves, him and his children and grandchildren. They used to kill, and rob and then … they would eat their victims. Well-known fact, Sawney Bean and his family of cannibals.’

  Angie was loving it. ‘Did they live in these caves?’

  ‘No, my dear. Nothing could live in our caves … for long. Even Sawney Bean.’ She was being deliberately dramatic, and Fiona was getting annoyed with her. A cigarette, she was sure would put her in a better mood.

  ‘OK, so no cannibals.’ Fiona was beginning to get bored again. ‘So what have you got?’

  ‘During the Reformation, the priests used to hide in the caves too. And for a time smugglers used them as well.’

  ‘Smugglers?’ Liam said, interested. ‘Aha! There might be gold in them thar caves.’

  ‘There’s something in there guards any gold, let me tell you. Because there were smugglers that never came out either.’ There she went with the ominous voice again. She’s been watching too many movies, Fiona thought.

  ‘During the war the army started to use the caves for developing secret weapons. But it didn’t last. The soldiers got afraid, couldn’t stay in the caves for long.’

  ‘This is so interesting
,’ Fiona drawled. ‘Though I think I have enjoyed watching paint dry even more.’

  ‘Shut up,’ Zesh said, looking enthralled. Once again Fiona thought that he and Angie were two of a kind.

  ‘During the war a Nazi submarine was torpedoed and some of the sailors survived. They tried to hide out in the caves. Deeper and deeper into the tunnels they went … but only one of them came out …’

  ‘Don’t believe this rubbish,’ Axel said.

  ‘I suppose when he came out,’ Zesh said, laughing, ‘he was stark raving mad at what he’d seen?’ He pulled at his hair and put on a mad face. In Fiona’s opinion it was an improvement.

  Mrs Soames didn’t even blink. ‘He was mad all right. Mad as a hatter. He had seen the Worm … and that’s what got his friends.’

  ‘I’ve seen lots of them,’ Axel said.’ Used to cut them up and fry them. Didn’t do me any harm.’

  Angie turned on him. ‘Oh, you didn’t, Axel. That’s cruel.’

  Axel ignored her. ‘I don’t believe a word she says.’

  But Zesh was curious. ‘Go on, Mrs Soames, what’s this about a worm?’

  It seemed to Fiona that Mrs Soames’s smile changed then, or was it the flickering firelight? Or was she just tired?

  ‘They do say the reason we have all these winding caves is because they were made by the Great Worm, burrowing its way through the earth.’

  ‘Yuch, that is gross.’ Angie grimaced at the thought.

  ‘So, this is one of these Loch Ness Monster type of legends.’ Fiona was suddenly bored again. She hated Loch Ness Monster stories. ‘I suppose nobody’s actually took a picture of your Great Worm either?’

  ‘Plenty of people have seen it,’ Mrs Soames said quickly, ‘but they’re not believed because they never have any proof. We’ve got no doctored photographs of the Great Worm, you see. But there’s people been lost in there, and they’ve never been found.’

  ‘And you think the people who never came out were eaten by … the Great Worm?’

  Mrs Soames didn’t actually answer Zesh. Instead she told them yet another story. ‘They say its breath is like poison. And its lair is deep in the bowels of the earth. What wakes it up is the scent of a human. And tomorrow there is going to be a lot of humans in those caves.’