Ten

by Tia Fielding

  Makai counted it as a blessing and resolved himself to getting a new one soon. At least everything looked nicer now, and he could tell what his property looked like. The house and the shed needed a coat of new paint, the roof seemed to be in good condition in both, and everything else looked… nice, actually.

  Makai went inside for lunch and a shower. He ended up napping on the couch with a purring cat on his chest for a while afterward.

  “Hey, lady, you wanna go outside?” he asked the cat once he decided it was time to go look at the boat shed and the little dock by the shore. “I don’t think you’re going to run on me, mostly because you’ve not been fed since morning and those babies seem to take a lot out of you.”

  The cat had adopted him, and even though he wasn’t 100 percent sure she wouldn’t just up and leave him, he didn’t want to keep her inside alone, either.

  “I could take you out in the carrier, maybe?” he pondered out loud, then nodded to himself. “Let’s do that first.” He gently scooped her up and placed her on the couch, then redid his sloppy ponytail and went to get the carrier.

  Soon enough they were down by the dock, and for the time being, the cat seemed content inside the carrier. The sun was shining, and Makai lifted his face to it, soaking in the scent of the fresh air and the warm rays. He’d look even more brown soon, most likely. That’d make the racists in town happy for sure.

  Brushing the thought away, he made sure the cat was in the shade and still comfy, then walked to the little pontoon dock to test it. To his surprise, it seemed that he would only have to replace a few boards and tighten the screws on the ladder. The cables that tied the dock to the metal poles on the shore were still in good condition, so he could leave those be as well.

  Makai felt the water, letting it lap at his fingers as he moved them, enjoying the caress. It was too cold for his tastes, swimmingwise, and he wondered how warm it would get. Lotte might know. He glanced toward the opposite shore and saw what looked like Joie with an adult, walking by the lakeside, deep in conversation. It didn’t look like Lotte, but then again, with a shapeless hoodie with the hood up, it could’ve been anyone.

  He checked in with the cat again, wondering if he was annoying the animal with his fussing. He left her alone and walked the maybe thirty yards to the boat shed, or what was left of it, anyway.

  The idea was great. The thing had extended over the water just enough that you could steer your boat inside through the open doorway on the lake side. The structure’s bones were still there, but the roof had started to cave in. It looked bad enough that Makai didn’t want to even step inside. The door had had a lock, just like Mr. Kelly had said, but since the door itself had crumbled into two over time, it was useless.

  He went to the closest corner and kicked the support beam through the partially rotten boards the building was made of. The whole thing shook, and parts of the ceiling fell into the water with splashes. Frowning, Makai decided it would be best to tear the thing down during the early summer. It was a hazard for anyone or anything who might go inside, and he didn’t even have a boat, so he didn’t need it anyway. If he got a boat later, he could make a new shed or figure out something else to cover it with.

  He turned to go back, making a mental list of things he still needed to buy for the renovations. There were some tools in the shed, but he didn’t trust the wooden handle of the sledgehammer as far as he could throw it, so maybe he should get a new one of those, too, for the demolition. He needed to ask Mr. Miller if there was somewhere he could dump the remains of the shed, or maybe he could burn them or something.

  Being from a suburb and having spent basically all his adult life in jail sure gave one gaps in knowledge, especially when it came to living in the hicks.

  “Makai!”

  He looked up and saw Joie bouncing toward him, still a ways away on the shore.

  “Hey, be careful, the rocks might be slippery!” he called back and walked briskly to the dock to meet Joie and the person they were with.

  “Sure!” Joie called back, and Makai could see what looked like leggings with a dress or a skirt and a T-shirt.

  “Hi, Joy,” he said and steadied her by the shoulder when she almost stumbled over her own feet. The rubber boots she had on seemed a little too big on her.

  “Hi!” she said brightly, then looked back at the adult tagging along in an almost cautious way. “This is my friend Emil. He’s looking after me while Mom’s at work!”

  “Oh, okay,” Makai said slowly, and tried to get a reading on the boy.

  Because Emil was a teenager, probably. Maybe older than that, but it was hard to tell with the hoodie and the skinny form in skinnier jeans.

  “Hey,” Emil said but didn’t really look at Makai at all, just ducked his head and stared down on the ground instead.

  “Hi,” Makai replied and instinctively tried to make himself look smaller and as nonthreatening as possible.

  Suddenly a curious little meow sounded from the carrier, and Makai jerked along with Joy and Emil.

  “You have a cat?” Joy exclaimed, and Makai and Emil winced at the voice level.

  “Don’t scare the cat, Joy,” Emil scolded gently.

  She slapped her hands over her mouth, eyes going wide. “Sorry,” she whispered loudly.

  Smiling, Makai went to the carrier and lifted it to the sun, then sat on a patch of grass and gestured for the others to sit too.

  When they did, Joy with the enthusiasm of a little kid and Emil folding himself into a secure little ball like a scared but obedient animal, Makai opened the zipper and let the cat out.

  “Oh, it’s so pretty!” Joy whisper-yelled.

  At least she had the control to not startle the cat that went to her and Emil to sniff them both curiously.

  “Hey, that’s Mouse,” Emil said, and Makai looked at him in surprise.

  “What?”

  “My grandma lives near the campsite, and when I went to visit her, I saw the cat a few times. But Grandma called her Mouse. I think she fed her for a while. She vanished, though.”

  Makai felt his heart drop. “Do you think she wants her back?” Until then, he hadn’t thought about her being anyone’s cat, not for real. He’d kept hoping she was a stray just so he could keep her.

  “Oh, no. I mean, Grandma’s only there during the summer, she lives in Mercer in an old folks’ home. She’s probably going to be at her summer place for a month or so this year.” Emil ducked his head again, looking like he’d said too much or something.

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Is she going to have babies?” Joy asked, petting the cat—Mouse—who had flopped on the grass and exposed her large belly to them all.

  “Yeah, the vet said really soon,” Makai answered, smiling at the picture Joy and the cat made.

  “Ooh, can I come see them when they’re here? Kittens are soooo cuuuuute.” Joy made the last two words longer than Makai was tall, and both him and Emil chuckled.

  “Yeah, if your mom says it’s okay, sure.”

  “I’m glad she found a home,” Emil said in a tone that suggested he was surprised that he’d said anything in the first place.

  “She dashed out from the shadows on my first night here and never left. It’s…,” Makai started, swallowed hard, and added, “it’s less lonely with her here. I like the company.”

  He looked at the cat and felt Emil’s gaze on himself like a hesitant touch. When he turned to Emil, he quickly looked away again. Skittish. Makai had seen a lot of that in the newcomers in prison. Even in the mirror.

  “She’s a good cat. You don’t have to call her Mouse, though.” Emil’s tone tried for levity, Makai thought, and almost hit it too.

  He laughed a little. “I think it’s as good a name as any other. I hadn’t named her anyway.” Then he chuckled. “I can’t wait to hear Doc Donovan’s thoughts of the name, though.”

  Emil snorted, and Joy giggled a bit.

  “Do you fish?” Joy asked, peering at Makai.
r />   “No, never have had the chance. Why?”

  “Cats like fish. Maybe we could come with a fishing rod, like those ones with the bobber, and try to fish for her?” She looked at Emil now, and he smiled at her.

  “Maybe. We’ll ask your mom, and you need to ask Makai too.”

  “Can we?”

  “Yeah, if you’re careful. You can fish from the shore, but if you go on the dock, you’ll need a life vest. The dock rocks a little, and I don’t want you to fall in.”

  “Okay!”

  “I think we should get going. It’s snack time soon,” Emil said after they’d sat in the sun for a while longer, mostly listening to Joy babble about this and that.

  Makai was about to say something, but then Emil pushed his hood down, and all words lost meaning for the moment.

  He’d seen beautiful people, sure. But there was something in the wild dark blond curls and sparkling blue eyes that took his breath away. Emil ducked his head and smiled shyly before quickly peering at Makai and averting his gaze again.

  “Do you wanna put her back in the thing?” Joy asked, breaking the weird-as-hell moment.

  “Yeah, I think it’s better so she won’t follow you two.” Makai found his words and felt oddly proud that he didn’t stutter at all.

  He knelt to take the cat who was in front of Emil now, but Emil recoiled, crab-walking backward, as if Makai had thrown a punch at him. Shaken to his core, Makai froze, his hands still in the air as he knelt on the ground.

  “It’s okay,” Joy said in a very calm, adult tone. “Emil is a little shy, and we don’t want to make sudden movements around him or touch him if he doesn’t wanna.”

  It was obviously something she had heard many times, that had been told to her—made absolutely sure she understood what was being said and why it was important.

  “Oh, okay. Sorry I moved so fast.” Makai nodded toward the cat but looked at Emil who seemed flustered, and not in a good way at all. “Do you mind if I grab her?”

  “Uh… no. Sorry about that.”

  “It’s okay. Anyone can have triggers.” Makai hoped he sounded as casual as he’d been aiming for. He wasn’t as good with human interaction as he would’ve liked. Not after a decade of keeping his head down and mouth shut. But he was learning. The therapist he’d seen a couple of times just before he was released, and the one he’d seen twice after had told him about what to expect out there and how to recognize his own triggers.

  Emil looked at him as if he had grown a second head, and Makai chose to ignore it on the outside, at least. So, he looked like a big oaf, possibly stupid or at least tough with all the tattoos and everything. He wasn’t simple, though. He didn’t like the way Emil’s expression implied that. Probably not on purpose, but still.

  He scooped up the cat and put her in the carrier. Then he looked at Joy. “If your mom lets you fish for the c—Mouse, then you’re welcome to. I’ll mostly be home, probably knocking down the old boat shed or working in the shed by the house. You just can never come here alone, okay? I can’t watch you, and you need an adult with you because of the lake and because I don’t know exactly what’s around my yard yet. Okay?”

  She seemed to think for a while, then nodded seriously. “Okay.” Then she leaned down to peer into the carrier. “Bye-bye Mouse and babies!”

  She grabbed Emil’s hand and tugged him away toward the narrow pathway where they’d come from.

  Emil said nothing, and neither did Makai. He grabbed the carrier and started up the hill. Emil was cute, sure, but he was the kind of trouble Makai wasn’t looking for in this town.

  Chapter Four

  EMIL TRIED to control his body, and instead of letting the panic sweep him away, he concentrated on Joy. She overbalanced on a rock by the shore, and he reached a hand to tug her back to her feet.

  “Oops!” she exclaimed briefly, then continued on her way, the too big boots making her stumble here and there.

  Oops, indeed. Emil wasn’t ashamed of freaking out or even Joy’s little outburst afterward. He was fucking annihilated by his own prejudices and how he could see them hurting Makai. He just hoped Makai didn’t think he was racist. Sure, he’d been surprised as fuck when the big guy had used the word “trigger” so casually, but he hadn’t meant anything by it, and now Makai was hurt.

  Joy babbled about things as they made the slow trek back to her side of the little lake. The day had started beautiful, and Emil wished it had stayed that way.

  Makai had been everything and nothing he’d expected.

  He was just as big, tall, and gorgeous as Lotte had whispered to him that day when he arrived to look after Joy. He was also kind, very protective, and had a gentle soul.

  Those were things that could change, of course. Maybe he hid a temper underneath all the Zen, but something about him called out to Emil, and it wasn’t just the looks.

  And then Emil had gone and stuffed his foot into his mouth, or maybe in his eyes as it might be the case. He’d been surprised, shocked even, to find Makai’s reaction to his freak-out was pretty much better than any stranger’s, ever. Usually he could hide his emotions. He’d practiced that for the last few years when he’d figured out that everyone wanted him to seem better, even if he wasn’t really getting better. This time, the surprise had caught him in the aftermath of the shock, and he’d stared at Makai like he couldn’t believe the guy had a brain on him.

  If nothing else, Emil admired Makai for surviving what he’d gone through. Emil knew they didn’t just exonerate people on a whim. There had to be some serious evidence behind righting that kind of wrong in the first place. Makai had gone through hell to get here, and there Emil was, looking at him like… that.

  “Do you think Mommy would let me have one of Mouse’s babies when they’re all grown up?” Joy interrupted his musings.

  “Uh… I don’t know. You need to ask your mom if she’d be okay with a cat, and Makai has a say too. You don’t just give cats to anyone who wants one. The person who wants a kitten needs to be really sure they’re ready and know what they’re doing.” Then, because it seemed like a difficult thing for Joy to grasp, he clarified. “Like if Mouse was your cat, right? Say there’s three babies. You need to find them really good homes, right?”

  Joy nodded and reached out for his hand as they went through a soggy patch of shoreline where Emil’s Chucks took in water like they were dying of thirst.

  “Yeah, so what kind a home would you think a cat needs?” He knew it was a big question to ask a five-year-old, but she was smart as hell, and he was interested in the answer.

  “Someone who makes sure they can’t make more babies!” she exclaimed, happy in knowing she got that one right at least. Doc Donovan had come to talk about animals in the day care group she’d gone to last year.

  “Right, what else?”

  “Good food, clean the box where cats pee.” She thought, her little face scrunching up in concentration. “Water bowl! Like for doggies but smaller.” She pondered silently for a while, then looked at Emil. “What else?”

  “Well, some people prefer to have indoor cats. That means they don’t ever let them out. Some walk them on leashes, like dogs.” That made Joy giggle. “Then there’s things like if the house is really loud or really calm. Cats like calm and room to play. Things to climb on. That sort of stuff. And you’d need to know if there are other pets.”

  “So they wouldn’t be scared!”

  “Yeah. Do you think Makai would just give a kitten to anyone?”

  “No! He’d make sure they’re all safe!” And that was why Emil felt rotten. Even a five-year-old could tell Makai was a good man.

  “Yeah. So, he needs to think about who he gives them to, and that’s why you’d need to talk with him. Tell him all the things that are good for a cat with you and your mom.” Then, before she could get more into the idea, he said firmly, “But first you need to talk to your mom.”

  Joy’s expression fell a little, and Emil tried to remember if Lotte
had told him anything about a conversation about pets. He couldn’t come up with anything, so he did what he could to distract her. “How do you feel about veggie burgers and Moana?”

  “Yay!” She jumped down from the rock she’d been balancing on and raised her hands in triumph.

  Emil couldn’t help but laugh. Moana made everything better. If only his life were as simple as Joy’s.

  THE NEXT couple of days, Emil helped Lotte with the homeschooling stuff she was doing with Joie. One day they were Joy, the other, Joey, but Emil was used to it all by now. He understood that Lotte wasn’t ready to put her child through the wringer of public school, not with how things had ended with the day care group last year.

  People in town tolerated different kinds of views and people, but if anyone felt like something was rubbed in their faces, things got ugly fast. The whole issue of different genders and gender identities was still too new to the old-school folks in town, so when Joey—as Joie had been the first three and a half years of their life—had come to day care in a dress or other “girly” clothing a few times too many, some of the parents had gotten up in arms, and the rest was history. Lotte had chosen to pull Joie out of day care as an attempt to protect their innocence a bit longer. There was enough ugliness in the world waiting for Joie. They didn’t need to face it yet.

  Emil understood. He’d seen that darker side of the world too young himself. At seventeen, it had culminated in something horrible, and there were still mornings when he wished he hadn’t woken up that day, or maybe at all.

  In some ways, the town of Acker let you prove yourself to them. Like Doc Donovan. He and his husband had rolled into town when Emil was eight. The men had set up shop, and after the first few clients came out of the clinic—either side—happy, others soon followed. Besides, The Docs had been sort of straight-acting, as much as two men clearly in love could’ve been.