by Hilary Wynne
“Your keys were on the table, Corazón. I think you forgot to grab them.”
I stop in my tracks. I just assumed we’d be going in together, like we used to when Julian always insisted we drive together. I must have an unhappy look on my face because Julian reacts right away.
“You didn’t have time to pack anything to stay with me tonight, so I know you’re going to need to come home. I have a meeting tonight until about seven, so it’ll be hard to get you back here. You never want to take my car so I figured you’d want your own car. Stop freaking out. I fully expect you to spend the night tonight. You do owe me a blow job after all.”
I start to respond and he stops me again. “Yes, Lexie. I know you. I don’t always understand the way your mind works, but I know you.”
“And you love me?”
“Sí, mi amor. Yo te amo.” His smile is bright and sincere. “And baby, I fucking love those shoes too!”
Chapter 9
I’m not sure how I do it, but I manage to get to work before my clients show up. They must be running late. I hate when people are late because I’m usually on time, but today I’m cool with it. I open my computer, pick out some units to show them, and try to plan out my day a little.
At eleven-thirty, Evelyn buzzes me to let me know the Bryants are here. They’re so apologetic about keeping me waiting, and after I reassure them several times it’s not a big deal, we start looking for their new home. This is an interesting couple. Sam Bryant looks to be in his late fifties, not very attractive or in shape, but clearly well off. Denise Bryant, his fiancée, is probably my age, very attractive with a great body. I know people do it all the time, but I can’t see myself being with a man older than my dad. I try not to judge because they actually seem to be in love, but when they tell me they want to look at three bedrooms because they want to have kids, it throws me off a little. To be honest, any talk about babies makes me uncomfortable.
My feelings toward them change as the appointment goes on. Eric Bryant clearly loves his fiancée, and they’re fun and easy to work with. After about two hours of looking, looking again, and touring the property, they’ve decided on a three bedroom mid-building that they want to close on next month. We fill out the contract, they leave me a deposit, and I sit back and savor the sale. I pull out my sales lists and can’t believe what I’ve done in the short time I have been here. I know the building sells itself, but I’m proud of myself. I’m really kicking ass here. I shake my head when I think about how I was going to leave. I was such an idiot.
“What exactly are you disagreeing with yourself about, Alexa?” I look up from my computer to find Diego in front of me with a smile.
I smile back. “I can’t believe I was thinking of transferring away from this building. I love my job.” I fill him in on the sale and about the leads I’m working on. He’s very complimentary about my work, and coming from him, it means a lot. He is a great salesperson, and I’ve learned a lot by watching him work. We chat easily for a few minutes longer until he makes it all come to a grinding halt by taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb over the top of it. I try to pull it away subtly, but he either doesn’t get the hint, or is intentionally ignoring it.
“So, were you able to change your plans for tomorrow? I’d like to spend the evening with you. We’ll have a great time at the party. I promise.”
I pull my hand away again, this time not so subtly, and sit back in my chair. I already told him I wasn’t free. “I’m sorry, Diego, but no, I still have plans. As a matter of fact, I wanted to ask you if it was okay to take this weekend off. I’d switch with someone for next weekend, but I can’t do that either.” The wedding is next weekend and I don’t want to have to worry about work.
Diego gets an inquisitive look on his face. “Big plans this weekend, sí?”
I don’t want to get into a discussion with Diego about what my plans are, but I think I need to restate the fact he and I are work associates only. I have tried very hard to keep those boundaries, although I think I may have let my guard down over the last few weeks. Diego is incredibly attractive, very charming, and we spend a lot of time together. He knows, or thinks Julian and I broke up, so I guess he thinks it’s okay to flirt with me. I need to set the record straight.
“I’m hoping to go to Sanibel with Julian for the weekend.”
Diego’s eyes widen at the mention of Julian’s name. “Are you two back together?”
Now isn’t that the million dollar question.
“We’re spending time together, yes.” That’s not a lie.
“I guess I’m a little surprised. You’ve worked out the whole baby issue?”
It occurs to me that I have absolutely no idea what Diego knows and doesn’t know about me, Julian, the baby, etc. He could be talking to Serena, and we all know she isn’t actually in the know about what’s going on. Because of Julian’s dislike for Diego, I want to be respectful of his privacy, so I answer in the best way I can.
“The baby isn’t his.”
I can see millions of questions running through Diego’s mind. I expect him to ask some of them, but he just nods his head. “You can take the weekend off. You have more than earned it.”
Okay, that was easy. “Thank you so much, Diego. I really appreciate it.”
Diego smiles at me as he walks out the door, but it’s not the same smile as the one he gave me when he walked in a little while ago. The flirty vibe is gone and I guess I’m thankful. Ugh. I hope nothing changes. I’ve liked the ease of our working relationship. I’m pondering all of this when I hear my phone vibrate.
Julian: Hola, mi amor. Hope you made it in on time and got to your meeting. I’m stuck in a very boring one and I’m thinking about you.
Alexa: I did, no thanks to you. :-) Made a sale this morning, and I always think about you.
Julian: Congrats on the sale. Are you complaining?
Alexa: God no. This morning blew my mind and tonight I plan on “blowing” yours.
Julian: Is that so?
Alexa: Yes, that’s so.
Julian: I can’t wait. I’ll call you when I’m done here.
Alexa: Ok. BTW, got the weekend off. :-)
Julian: Great. Looking forward to it.
Alexa: Me too. Xoxo
The rest of my day passes pretty quickly and before I know it, it’s time to go. I haven’t heard from Julian so I’m not sure what our plans are. I know I have to get some clothes from home if I’m going to be spending the night down here, and I’d like to go for a run. I call him and hope he’s still in a good mood. He answers on the first ring.
“Hola. Sorry I didn’t call you yet. It’s been crazy here today and I didn’t know what my plans were for tonight until now.”
“No worries. Are you still going to be in a meeting until seven?”
“Sí. Kelsey and I are going to grab dinner and then spend some time going over the calendar of events for the month. I need to get her on track with everything that’s happening here.”
The little, green jealousy monster in me stands up and starts waving its hands and stomping its feet when I hear Julian’s meeting is with Kelsey. I wonder why they can’t seem to find the time to work during normal nine to five hours. I stuff those thoughts down though.
“Okay. I’ll just head home then. Call me when you’re through and I can come back I guess.” I hear the tone in my voice and I cringe because I know I sound jealous and pouty. I’m trying so hard to be secure. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it isn’t. Right now, it isn’t. I meant to sound normal. Clearly Julian heard it too.
“It’s work, Lexie, and I said I’d be home by seven. There’s no need to make a big deal out of something that doesn’t mean anything. Go home and get your stuff. Pack for the next few days. I have to work tomorrow night because Candace is off, but I was thinking you could hang out at Stellar with your amigas tomorrow night, and we could leave for Sanibel early Saturday morning. I’ll have you back here Sunday evening. I’ll leave your ke
ys at the front desk in case you beat me home, and I’ll bring dinner.”
I want to make some kind of sarcastic comment, but I stop when I recall he just said “your keys”. He’s giving me my keys back. That makes me smile and shut my mouth.
“Sounds good. I want to go for a run and would rather do it on the beach, so I may be out when you get home.”
“Wait for me and we’ll go together.”
“Okay. See you later.”
“Hasta luego, Corazón.”
As I drive home, I think about what I’m going to pack for the next four days. I need something for work, something to go out in tomorrow, and whatever else I need for the weekend. It’s going to be a lot of stuff. Traffic is horrible going over the causeway and at one point it’s bumper to bumper. This commute can really suck. It seems so stupid to be driving back and forth, and I am finally on the same page as Julian about wanting to be down at the beach full time. Now all I need is an invitation.
I take the opportunity to send a group text out to the girls about tomorrow. I hope they’re all in. We haven’t been out together to Stellar in a while.
Alexa: Hey, Stellar tomorrow? VIP? Who’s in?
Marissa: Me
Shannon: Me
Jenna: Me three
Lauren: Ugh. Plans with Sean. Let me try and get out of them.
Alexa: No, Lauren. Be with your new guy.
Shannon: Bring him…right, girls?
I have no issues with Lauren bringing a guy. Shannon can bring Cory too.
Alexa: Fine with me. Bring Cory too.
Shannon: :-)
Lauren: Will ask and let you know.
Jenna: Will you be my date M?
Alexa: Julian’s working. I can be your date too.
Marissa: No tequila shots, Lex. NO MATTER WHAT.
Alexa: No promises, Mari.
It’s already after six when I pull up and I don’t waste any time getting my stuff together. I grab a few dresses I can wear to work, shoes, two bathing suits, workout clothes, PJs, panties and any accessories I think I might want to wear. I also pack all of my toiletries. I have so much stuff that I have to use a bigger suitcase; I suddenly feel stupid bringing all of this with me. I wish I was just living there, with him, as his fiancée.
As I’m heaving the suitcase into my trunk, my mind starts spinning out of control and I begin to feel the early stages of an anxiety attack creeping into my body. My chest feels tight and my palms feel sweaty. I try to push it away and get into my car, but five miles down the road I have to pull over because I feel like I can’t breathe. Try as I might, I can’t ignore the reality of my situation anymore. I’m operating on borrowed time by allowing Julian to believe everything can go back to the way it was before the BBN (big baby news).
After about fifteen minutes of deep breathing exercises and some soothing music courtesy of Sirius, I feel calm enough to drive. I want to go back to my house and crawl under the covers, but I just point the car toward the beach and drive east instead. I try to convince myself Julian will forgive me and decide I’ll tell him on Monday. I want to spend the next few days making him remember why he can’t live without me.
When I finally get up to Julian’s condo, it’s almost seven-thirty. I see his cars are both there so I don’t bother getting the keys from the doorman. Old Lexie is drowning out new Lexie and telling her there is no reason to get the keys because things will be over soon. I’m fighting hard for new Lexie to win here, so I try and compose myself in the elevator ride. When Julian opens the door, I take a huge breath and put my best face forward. I can do this.
“Why are you knocking?” Julian asks as he reaches out to grab my suitcase. “You have a key.”
“I didn’t get them. I saw your car and knew you were here. I figured I didn’t need them.” If I could kick myself I would. This is the old me right now saying these words. I’m saddened that even with all the strides I’ve made lately, I can still feel so insecure at times.
Julian turns and walks into the condo, drops my bag, and walks back out toward the elevator without saying a word. I correctly assume that he’s going to get the keys, and when he comes back, he places them in my hand. “I’m not doing this again. Take the damn keys and stop playing games.” His tone is impatient and I can see in his eyes he isn’t in a great mood. Nice.
I lie through my teeth. “I wasn’t playing games. I didn’t need the keys if you’re here. Why are you being so bossy and so short with me?”
Julian is taking my suitcase to his room and I follow. When we get inside he turns and answers me. “Bossy? Hmm. I guess I’m finally acting like I should’ve all along. I am bossy, Lexie, and I like to be in control. I gave a lot of that up to you the first time around and it didn’t turn out so well for me, for us. I’m not going to play games with you this time. I’m not interested in trying to make sure you don’t get your feelings hurt all the time. I told you your keys were at the desk. I gave you back a set of keys to my house. You chose not to pick them up, which is typical you. If you’re going to be staying here you need a fucking key to get in and out! It’s simple. Don’t make it complicated. We’ve had enough ‘complicated’ to last a lifetime.”
I’m about to respond when he takes me in his arms and kisses me passionately. It definitely smoothes my ruffled feathers. “I brought dinner. Let’s run, and then come back and eat. Okay?”
I keep my tone light-hearted. “Well, you are the boss, so okay.”
Julian doesn’t correct me or say anything about my comment. He just nods a little and heads over to his dresser to grab something to run in. I was kind of kidding, but I think I just agreed to his new “I’m in charge” hierarchy. This should be interesting.
While he’s getting dressed, I open my suitcase on the floor and pull out a pair of black running shorts and a lime green racer back tank. I take my dresses out and walk into the closet to hang them. I see Julian has either made room for me again or left my little side of the closet vacant. I hang my stuff up, and as I walk in and out of the closet a few times, I see Julian sitting on the bed watching me.
“What are you smiling about?”
“You, baby. First, I love to see you making yourself at home, and second I’m wondering what it would look like if you were packing for a week.
I feel my cheeks redden. “I’d need more than that little space in the closet you’ve given me, that’s for sure.” I turn and smile at him and wink.
Julian walks toward me and takes me in his arms. “When you’re back here for good, I’ll make sure there’s enough room for all of your stuff. Okay?”
My comment was only a little serious, but Julian took it very seriously. His gaze is intense and I know this moment could get all emotional if I let it. I want to avoid anything too heavy, so I stand on my tip-toes and kiss him sweetly. “That sounds great to me. Let’s go run.”
There’s a breeze blowing off the ocean, and it takes the weight out of the day’s heat. Julian and I settle into matching strides and head north along the beach. We run in silence as usual, but also as usual, I can feel his gaze on me from time to time. I can’t watch him in the same way. It’s so distracting. His muscles are sculpted perfectly and when they’re in motion, all I want to do is touch them. I crave him but because I want the exercise, I just keep looking forward. I’m not sure how far we run, but it’s a good distance.
When we get back near the condos, Julian stops on the beach. He sits on the sand and takes his shoes and socks off. I sit down next to him. The sun is finally setting and the night sky is a blend of pinks, oranges and burnt reds. It’s so beautiful. I unlace my shoes and take a drink of water. Julian is staring straight ahead and has a very pensive look on his face. I can tell he has something on his mind and I wait patiently for him to share. He opens up after a few minutes of silence.
“I spent so much time at the beach when I was growing up. I’ve always loved it here. I love the feel of the sand on my feet. I know it sounds stupid, but it soothes me. I live
on the beach and I hardly ever come down here. It’s such a waste.” He turns and looks at me. “Promise me you’ll remind me I need to do this, that I need to come and walk on the sand when things get too much.”
I take his hand in mine. I get what he’s saying; I feel the same way about the beach. The feel of the sand, the sound of the waves, and the mystery of the ocean ground me. There’s a peace and calmness here I have a hard time finding anywhere else.
He looks at me and I smile sincerely. “I promise.”
I take my shoes and socks off as well and we continue to sit there for a bit longer, taking in the sunset and scenery. It’s so peaceful and because it’s late, there aren’t many people around.
The mood is broken when Julian hears my stomach growl. “Tienes hambre?”
“Yes. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten much today. I got busy and just didn’t have the time. After both of the workouts I’ve had today, I’d say I could eat a horse.”
Julian shakes his head and scowls at me. “I never did get that expression. Seriously, who eats horses?” He stands up and reaches down for my hand. I giggle and let him pull me up. It is a dumb expression.
Julian doesn’t let go of my hand and picks me up and puts me over his shoulder. He starts walking toward the water and I start to giggle nervously. I bite his shoulder gently. “Put me down, Bauer. I’m not going swimming right now.”
“Ouch. Did you just bite me?” I can’t see his smile, but I hear it in his voice.
“Yes, and I’m going to bite you again if you don’t put me down.” I reach down and smack his ass.
“Biting and spanking, huh? Is there something you want to tell me?”
Oh my God. He has a one-track mind. “Yes, I want to bite you and spank you and maybe even tie you up, but if you throw me in the water I won’t do any of those things.”
Julian calls my bluff and sets me down in front of him. He threads his hands through mine and holds them at my sides. “Mmm. I like where this is going.”
