by Hilary Wynne
I look up at him and smile sternly. “It’s not going anywhere. I was kidding.”
Julian conjures up a fake pout, his eyes mischievous. “You lied to me, Lexie. You’re a bad girl. You just got me all excited at the thought of some new ways to play.” Before I can respond, he picks me back up over his shoulder and runs into the ocean. I’m fighting him a little so he lets me slide down in front of him. I wrap my arms around him just as he pulls me into the water. I can’t believe he just did that! My “always so serious” man just threw me into the warm ocean with my clothes on.
I wipe the water from my eyes, and when I look at Julian he’s beaming from ear to ear. “You look shocked.”
With my arms still around him, I kiss him on the lips. “It’s so not like you to do something like this.”
He looks a little perplexed. “Like what?”
“You’re pretty serious. I mean, I always have a great time with you, but you never really let loose unless we’re in bed.”
“Are you saying I’m not fun?” He looks a little hurt, and I instantly feel bad.
I kiss him again. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. You’re serious and in control most of the time. You don’t ever seem to let go. I’m not trying to insult you, baby. I just like seeing this more playful side of you.”
I wrap my legs around him and try to lurch my body to the side to pull him under again. He’s way too strong though, and I can’t budge him. He laughs out loud. “That’s cute, Corazón.”
“What’s cute?”
“You trying to dunk me with that sexy little body of yours. You know that won’t happen, right? I’m all about you wrapping your strong legs around me and rubbing yourself against me though.” Julian’s eyes are sparkling with amusement.
I put my lips to his ear and respond seductively. “I can’t wait to get out of these wet clothes and rub my body up and down yours. But if you want to fuck me right here, right now, I’m all about that.”
I’ve felt Julian’s erection against me since I wrapped my legs around him, but I can feel him harden even more with my offer. When I pull back and look at him, I see the amusement is gone, and lust has taken over. Julian keeps one hand wrapped around my waist and moves the other under the water. He slides my shorts and panties off, balls them up, and sticks them in his shorts pocket.
“Don’t lose those. I need to be able to get out of the water.”
Julian winks at me and kisses me sweetly as he slides his fingers into me. I grind my hips into him and he thrusts inside of me. I whisper in his ear as I reach below the water, pull his shorts down, and take him in my hand. “I want this.”
Without taking our eyes off of each other, Julian guides his shaft into me. The water makes it a little more difficult and a little uncomfortable at first but, as soon as he’s all the way inside, my body begins to relax. His movements are slow and easy, and as I enjoy the feeling of fullness he has created, I hear voices behind us on the shore. I glance backward and see a couple walking near the water with their dog. They try not to look, but they can’t seem to help themselves. I look down and see the lower halves of our bodies are completely covered. There is no way they can see what we’re doing, but I imagine they have a pretty good idea. I look at Julian, who is now rubbing my clit with the hand that’s underwater. I must have a naughty look in my eyes. “That turns you on, doesn’t it? You like that those people wonder if we’re fucking, don’t you? If they’re wondering if my dick is inside of you.”
I grind myself into his hand; I can’t help but moan as his fingers work their magic. “Yes.”
“That’s so fucking hot, baby. I want you to cum for me. I want you to look at me and let go, sexy girl.”
I wrap my legs tighter around Julian and contract all the muscles in my lower body as my orgasm starts racing through me. I don’t take my eyes off him, and just as I’m about to finish, I feel his thrusts speed up a little as he unloads into me. His orgasm surprises me a little. I didn’t know he was so close.
“I didn’t know you were ready to get off.”
That makes him chuckle a little. “I’ve been turned on since you put those tiny shorts on. Watching you run makes me hard. Seeing how your body moves, and thinking about it under me moving like that. Watching and feeling you get more turned on when you thought we were being watched. Listening to you tell me you were going to tie me up. Are you kidding me? I could’ve cum an hour ago.”
“Ditto to all of the above.” I kiss him softly. “Now can I have my shorts back? I’m starving.”
Julian keeps my panties in his pocket and helps me slide my shorts back on. Once I’m convinced I’m covered, we walk out of the water and back up to the beach. The night air now feels chilly because I’m wet. I wish I had a towel. Julian picks up our shoes and we head up to the condo. He makes a quick stop by the pool and finds two clean towels in a cabana. I wrap one around me and he does the same. Now it looks like we’re coming up from the pool which makes me feel a little less self-conscious as we walk past several residents.
Once we get back upstairs, I hop in the shower and get into my PJs while Julian heats up the food. He opens a bottle of red wine and heads off to take his own shower while I finish getting our late dinner ready. I’m starving and completely exhausted. The adrenaline I’ve been running off of all day has left my body, and all I want to do is curl up in his big comfy bed and fall asleep. After we finish eating, he sees me fighting to keep my eyes open.
“Cansada, mi amor?”
“I’m very tired. You wore me out today. I can’t keep my eyes open.” I look at the clock and see it’s already ten-thirty.
“Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll clean up here. I have a little work I need to do and then I’ll join you.”
“Are you sure? I did promise you something tonight.”
That makes him smile. Julian comes around the island and stands in front of me. He picks my chin up with his fingers. “I’m sure. I’m very satisfied. I’ll take an IOU though.”
I laugh because that’s exactly what I was thinking. “Deal. But don’t be too long please. I’ll miss you.” I try to get off the stool and Julian holds me in place for a minute.
“You are wrong about something, you know.”
“Hmm. Me wrong? I doubt it,” I say sarcastically. I’m almost scared to ask, but I do anyway. “What exactly am I wrong about?”
“You said earlier that I don’t ever really let go.”
“I stand by that statement. Sorry. Why do you disagree though?”
Julian leans forward and puts his forehead on mine. He also puts one hand over my heart. “I let go the minute I met you, Lexie, and I’ve been falling ever since.”
Chapter 10
I vaguely remember Julian getting into bed last night, and when I open my eyes at seven, he’s out again. Damn. I’m feeling very well rested and playful. I slip into a pair of panties and one of his shirts, and go find him to see if I can entice him back to bed. That plan is thwarted when I find him at the island with a cup of coffee and his laptop. He’s dressed in black slacks and a white, long-sleeve button down and is on the phone working already. He sounds so stressed. He’s having a very stern conversation with someone, and I know they’re talking about the two new Bywater projects. The projects Julian wasn’t really supposed to be in charge of. He turns and looks at me when I walk by and I offer a warm smile. The smile I get back is strained. I want to stay out of his way so I pour a cup of coffee, refill his cup, and sit down at the other end of the island. I get on my phone and check my own emails, Facebook, etc. I send a few texts out and wait patiently for him to finish his call. After about fifteen minutes, he hangs up and looks at me. His brow is furrowed, and when he runs his hands through his hair and sighs out loud, I know he’s overwhelmed.
“Is everything okay?”
“Nothing I can’t handle. I just have a lot on my plate.” His tone is clipped.
“Want to talk about it? Sometimes it helps me to talk about wh
at I need to do when I feel stressed out. It helps me put it all in perspective.”
His snicker is harsh. It’s followed up by an insult. “I think you and I handle stress a little differently, Alexa. I’m not so sure your coping mechanisms would work for me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I was trying to be supportive. You don’t need to be rude.” I want to get up and walk away, but I stay put. This isn’t how I wanted the morning to start.
“What it means is that I can’t let go like you so aptly told me last night, because when I do, everything goes to shit. Nobody fucking does their job right, and then they all expect me to have all the answers and ways to fix everything. Always. It always fucking lands on my shoulders and I’m over it.”
“Who expects you to have all the answers?”
He turns to face me again. His eyes are hard. “Everyone. I have to be perfect, like you said. I have to do things the right way all the damn time. I can’t afford to make any mistakes.”
Whoa. Where is this coming from? “I never said you had to be perfect. When did you hear me say that?” I’m annoyed now. I didn’t do anything here. I just asked if everything was okay. “I don’t expect that from you. You know you don’t have to have all the answers with me. I’m a good listener and maybe I can help.” I utter those words sincerely with the intention of offering a safe place. The response I get pretty much blows me away.
“It might be cute when you’re all full of drama and everyone helps figure your shit out for you, but it doesn’t work that way for me. Being perfect is expected of me and it always has been. A lot of people rely on me to keep it together and I don’t have the luxury of going off the rails like you do. I can’t go dark or just stop taking care of my responsibilities. I don’t have an off switch like you. I don’t just stop caring.”
What the hell is he even talking about? Why is he pissed at me this morning? Everything was great when we went to bed last night. As he continues on his rant, I feel both sad and mad. I need to decide which way to respond, and quick. He’s insulting me, but it’s obviously coming from a place of hurt and frustration. I of all people know a thing or two about lashing out.
“You’re talking about two different things. Yes, I check out, but I do take care of my responsibilities. I go to work, I pay my bills, and I get my shit done. So as far as you needing to be responsible, yes, you have to be. That part I agree with, but you don’t need to be perfect. You can make mistakes. And anyway, it’s different with you and me. A lot of people count on you. Not many count on me.”
“I counted on you.” Julian is looking at me with hurt and anger in his eyes. Damn! How did we get here this morning? What does this all have to do with me? I’m not one of his work issues. Not that this has anything to do with work anymore.
“I’m not sure how this became about me, Julian, but clearly this is my fault too.”
“You walked away. Everything got all fucked up when that happened.”
“Yeah, I know, I walked away. But I didn’t lie to you about a baby and I didn’t ask you to stop taking care of your responsibilities. You need to place that blame where it belongs.” My voice is terse and my pulse is racing. I’m actually kind of pissed right now. “You can forgive me or we can just stop whatever it is we’re doing here because I’m not going to be hammered about it forever, and I’m not going to be blamed for everything. I’m here. I fucked up and made some bad decisions, but I’m here now.”
Julian is just sitting there staring at me. I have no clue where to go with this, so I wait for him to talk. When five minutes goes by and he still hasn’t said anything, I get off my stool, put my coffee cup in the sink, and go stand in front of him.
“I’m going to go get ready for work. When you’re ready to tell me what’s really wrong and what this argument is really about, I’ll be ready to listen. But I’m not going to sit here with you glaring at me and try to guess what the underlying meaning of all of this is.”
Julian comes to find me in the bathroom about thirty minutes later. He sits down on the edge of the Jacuzzi tub. His voice is apologetic. “I’m sorry. I’m overwhelmed with the hotel and all the stuff going on with Bywater. Ruben being gone is rough. I don’t have the time or the patience to train Kelsey, and my dad and Danny aren’t as involved as they need to be.”
I look at him in the mirror. “What does that have to do with me?”
Julian shrugs. “Nothing. I just said I was sorry.”
“And I said when you were ready to talk I was ready to listen. So either tell me why you’re pissed at me about this or don’t bother apologizing.”
Julian shakes his head. This is a side of me he isn’t used to seeing. I never call him out on anything. I can actually hear the breath come out as he exhales.
“I haven’t been back to Sanibel since the last time we were there. I couldn’t bring myself to be there, for obvious reasons, and I needed to be there. Nobody else has gone and because I’ve been acting like a pussy about going, a lot of problems have cropped up. I’ve got issues with some permits, and the roofing contractor walked off the job right after he got paid. He’s only partially done and I need to find someone right away to get on it. My dad was supposed to be handling this with the help of some people we sent up there, but he’s been focused on the other property in Naples. He couldn’t give a shit about the Sanibel project. Danny can’t handle his work here and deal with stuff there. It was my idea to go after this, and now it’s my responsibility.”
The proverbial light bulb goes off in my head—now I get it. He’s basically blaming me for causing him to be unable to focus on work; never mind that everyone else in his life is apparently letting him down too. A few weeks ago, I would’ve accepted all of the blame, but I’m trying so hard not to be that girl. Julian doesn’t need that girl anyway. He needs me to be strong. I sit by him on the edge of the tub and take his hand in mine.
“I get it. How can I help?”
Julian squeezes my hand. “Just be here, Lexie. Just be here.”
One moment I’m feeling all confident and calm, and the next moment I feel this surreal sense of wonder pass over me. I’m staring at this man, this incredible man, and listening to him tell me he needs me. ME. The girl who is barely just getting her shit back together. I feel amazed and I feel honored. I also feel panicked when an image of Luke pops into my head.
“I am here. I’m right here. Tell me how I can help. If I can do something, I will.”
Julian cracks a smile. “What do you know about roofs?”
By the time Julian drops me off in front of The Promenade, our little altercation seems like water under the bridge. When we pull up, Serena and Diego are walking into the building. Out of the corner of my eye I see them both watching us, so when I lean over to kiss Julian goodbye, I make it more of a show than I need to.
“Mmm. Now that’s a goodbye kiss. Was that for me or for them?”
I wink as I’m getting out of the car and I don’t bother answering the question. “I’ll see you later tonight at the hotel. I’m meeting the girls for dinner first, and then we’ll come over.”
“Where are you eating dinner?”
“We haven’t decided yet.”
“Do you want to eat at Ursa’s?”
I always want to eat there. “Let me ask them and I’ll let you know.”
He nods and smiles as he puts his car into drive. “Have a great day.”
When I look back up, I see Diego and Serena have gone inside. Good. My day never starts well when she’s the first person I talk to at work. Unfortunately, my happiness is short-lived because she’s inside waiting for me. Diego is nowhere to be seen. She’s shaking her head at me with a confused look on her face.
“Does this mean you and Julian are back together?” She doesn’t even wait for me to respond. “Because I just don’t even get it.”
I want to tell her to basically go fuck herself, but I stop myself. There’s no point. “Good thing you don’t need to get it, Sere
na. Feel free to mind your own business.” I flash a big smile, turn on my heel, and walk toward my office. Lauren’s sitting inside when I walk in. She looks nervous. I sit down at my desk across from her and turn on my computer.
“Good morning. What’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You look stressed out.”
She laughs nervously, confirming my suspicions. “Okay, so I’m freaking out a little.”
“I’m assuming you want to share with me because you’re sitting in my office, so spit it out.”
“Okay, so I invited Sean to come out with us tonight and he said yes. I’m feeling a little nervous about that because this is the first time he’s meeting all of you. I really like him and want you guys to like—”
“I’m sure we’ll like him, Lauren. You don’t need to freak out about that.” I shake my head, surprised this is even an issue.
“Oh, that’s not all, Lex. There’s more. Last night Danny called me. I haven’t heard from him in a while and he was all flirty. He tried really hard to get me to come over. I didn’t go because I’m trying to see where this goes with Sean, but I was very tempted. I stupidly told him we were going to Stellar tonight and he said he’d see me there. I don’t want him to go. It’ll be awkward and totally uncomfortable.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Oh, you’re stressed out because two hot guys are all over you. Poor you.”
Lauren laughs for a minute and then gets a really serious look on her face. She looks over her shoulder to see if anyone is nearby. There isn’t anyone there, but she gets up and shuts the door anyway. She’s kind of freaking me out now.
“Oh, I’m so not done here. Diego called me into his office as I was leaving yesterday and asked me to go to some dinner thing with him tonight. He was annoyed when I said I had plans and I wasn’t going to tell you this, but I have to. Luke called me last night too.” Lauren is talking a mile a minute, and I was following along just fine until she uttered Luke’s name. Luke called her?
