Promise Me

by Hilary Wynne

  I turn to look at her and she’s smiling brightly at me. “Oh my God. That dress is gorgeous. I’m glad you bought it. I’m going to borrow it. What shoes?”

  I pull the shoes I bought out of the box and she gasps. “Holy shit! You were going to pass up an opportunity to wear those? Are you kidding? Put them on.”

  I slide my feet in and turn to look in the full-length mirror behind my door. I look really good. I put on the jewelry my mom lent me and throw a few things into a small, black clutch. After a few spritzes of perfume, I’m ready to go. Marissa offers to drive again, but I turn it down.

  “I have no idea what’s going to happen. I could be turning right around and coming home.”

  “Or you could go home with Julian and have amazing make-up sex. Think positive. Have a good time and smile. You look stunning, Lex.”

  She follows me to the door. “Did you text to tell him you were coming?”

  “What do you think?”

  She shakes her head.

  “I’m hoping the element of surprise works in my favor. And Mari, you better hope this idea of yours works.”

  “It will Lexie, it will.”

  Chapter 18

  I’m a nervous wreck the whole way down to South Beach, and it gets worse when I hand my keys to the valet. As I walk toward the entrance, I almost turn around and yell to the valet to come back. I take several deep breaths and tell myself this is the right thing to do. I have no idea where the actual reception is and now that I’m here, I wonder how I’m going to pull this off. I can’t walk into a room with hundreds of people and just plop down next to Julian unannounced. I’m standing off to the side watching people walk by trying to summon the courage to just call him, when I feel a strong hand on my lower back. I know it’s his before I hear his voice. My body knows his touch and my senses key into his unique, sexy smell when he’s close by.

  “Lexie?” His voice doesn’t mask his surprise.

  I turn slowly, so we’re inches apart. It’s the closest we’ve been in a week. The look in his eyes is a mixture of love, surprise, confusion, and lust. His body reacts to mine the same as mine does to his.

  “I changed my mind. I hope that’s okay?”

  Julian takes a step back and looks me up and down appreciatively, and a small smile flashes across his handsome face. “Eres tan bonita.”

  “Thank you. You’re pretty stunning yourself.” And he is. The tuxedo he’s wearing clearly is custom made. I love the way the jacket fits across his broad shoulders, and the way the slacks emphasize his sexy ass.

  “Have you been here long?”

  “No, I just got here. I was trying to figure out where to go.”

  “You could’ve just called me.”

  “You know me, always making things difficult.”

  Julian chuckles softly. “I do know you. Let’s go. The reception is upstairs.”

  Julian doesn’t take my hand, but touches my arm repeatedly as we walk up the stairs. I want to grab him and pull him close, but we’re nowhere near there yet. I have some unanswered questions about last night and he’s still keeping his distance, or trying to at least. The sexual tension is radiating off our bodies, and I wouldn’t be surprised if actual sparks were generated. It’s that way between us. Once we get to the ballroom, I can see Julian tense up and it instantly makes me defensive. What’s he worried about? Does he think Alejandra will say something to me? Is he changing his mind?

  I touch him on the elbow. “I don’t have to go in if you’ve changed your mind. It’s not too late.”

  I hear Julian’s breath as he exhales, and when he reaches for my hand, I believe he wants me to stay. He squeezes my hand tightly as we walk into a ballroom filled with several hundred people. I’ve been at a wedding at the Fontainebleau before, but it was much smaller and not as, how should I say it, over the top? The ballroom is grand, the centerpieces are grand, and the guests are all dressed in their best. I can see no expense was spared and although everything is very beautiful, I realize immediately that when I get married, if I get married, my wedding won’t look anything like this. I’m contemplating all of this when I hear Marisol behind me. I’m barely turned around before I’m in her arms.

  “Oh, Lexie. I’m so glad you made it. Julian told us about your dad. I’ll say a prayer for him.”

  “Thank you, Marisol. I appreciate that. He’s doing okay tonight, resting, so I came out for a little bit.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did. Julian wasn’t sure you’d make it. You look wonderful by the way. I love your dress.”

  I look up at Julian and he just stares back. He won’t give me anything, but I just learned he wasn’t ready to believe I wouldn’t show up. It gives me a little hope. I turn back to his parents to thank Marisol for the compliments, and find Antonio extending his hand to me. I take it slowly and offer a small smile.

  “Hola, Lexie. It’s nice to see you.”

  “Hi. It’s nice to see you too.” I’m not sure I honestly feel that way, but I think my words are believable.

  “We were all so sorry to hear about your dad. We hope he’s feeling better very soon.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  I think everyone must sense this isn’t a topic I really want to discuss so Marisol changes the subject. “I know Julian’s family members from Argentina are going to be so happy you’re here. They’ve heard so much about you, and were disappointed you couldn’t join us last night for the rehearsal party.”

  I look at Julian and fake a smile. I have no clue what excuse he gave them for me not being there. He doesn’t jump in, so I’m on my own here. I ad-lib. “I’m sorry I missed it. I look forward to meeting everyone too.”

  We’re interrupted by a couple who I assume are the aunt and uncle we were just talking about. Julian’s aunt Rosie is simply stunning. Her hair is black and straight, and she has the same green eyes the rest of the Bauer’s have. “You must be Lexie. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” I extend my hand, but she pulls me into a hug instead. I always seem to forget how affectionate Julian’s family is, and it catches me a little off guard tonight.

  “Likewise. I’ve heard a lot about you as well.” I want to be more friendly and open, but I can’t help but hold back. I don’t want to get to know people who won’t be part of my life in a week. I’m feeling very vulnerable right now.

  Julian’s uncle is the next to introduce himself. He’s not at all what I expected. Uncle Marlon is short with red hair, and looks more Irish than Argentinian. He has a huge, friendly smile and hugs me as well. “So there really is a Lexie? I was thinking Julian made you up when we didn’t see you last night or at the wedding.” He turns to look at Julian. “You never said she was this beautiful, Julian.”

  Julian actually laughs. Like a real, I haven’t heard it in weeks, laugh. “Tio, I’m not so far gone that I’m making up imaginary girlfriends. And I did tell you Lexie eras muy bonita. Maybe you need to turn your hearing aid up.”

  I take in the easy and loving exchanges between Julian and his family, and it elicits my first real smile tonight. After a few more minutes of chatting, Julian excuses us and heads to our table near the front. We’re literally stopped every few feet by someone else who wants to know who I am. By the time we sit down, I think I’ve met ten cousins, three co-workers, four neighbors, and an assortment of friends. There isn’t a person in the room who doesn’t smile at or acknowledge Julian, and it reminds me he’s a man who commands attention and respect just by being himself. I’m starting to understand why it was important for me to be here. There would’ve been a lot of questions.

  I take in the ornate, white and silver floral centerpieces as we sit down and anxiously await the rest of our tablemates. I’m curious and nervous about who’s going to be sitting with us. I assume it’ll be Danny and maybe his parents, and I’m relieved when I see I’m right. Danny is with Gabby, which comes as a little surprise, and sits down next to me. Marisol and Antonio sit down, and Rosie and Marlon join
us as well.

  Danny leans over and kisses me on the cheek and then whispers in my ear. “I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I know this was hard for you to come here for many reasons, but I’m really glad you did. He might not want you to know how important it is, but trust me, it is.”

  Leave it to Danny to make me feel more at ease. I always feel like he’s looking out for our best interests as a couple. I smile at him and then at Gabby. “It’s great to see you Gabby. I never did get to personally thank you for the picture you took of me and Julian at the beach. I love it.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s one of my favorites too. I use it in my work portfolio. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Before I have a chance to answer, we’re interrupted by the DJ announcing the arrival of the newly married Yvette and Esteven Rivera. When we all stand to welcome the couple, Julian takes my hand. It’s not the way he usually holds my hand, like I’m his, but it’s something, and I’ll take what I can get. It isn’t until the bride and groom are seated that I notice Serena and Alejandra up at the front table with the other twenty-five people in the wedding party. The bridesmaids are all in long, pewter-colored, strapless chiffon dresses that are really cute. I hate to admit it, but Serena looks soft and pretty, and Alejandra looks like she just stepped out of a bridal photo shoot. The minute I see her I feel nauseous, and the voicemail replays in my head. I’ve been consciously not thinking about it so I can get through the night. I want to hold my shit together, but it’s going to be more difficult than I thought. I can’t look at her without seeing her and Julian together, and it’s impossible not to look at her because she’s in my direct line of vision.

  I turn my head and stare at anything else, the flowers, the silverware, the man and woman at the next table. I look anywhere but straight ahead. While I’m averting my eyes, I end up locking in on a man seated a few tables away. He looks to be about my age, Latino, very nice looking, and very focused on me. It makes me uncomfortable, so I look away for a minute. My curiosity gets the best of me though so I look again and he’s still staring, this time with a friendly smile on his face. Julian happens to look at me at the same time and catches the interaction. A storm cloud crosses over his face and I can feel him tense up next to me. I have no idea what just happened, but I chalk it up to him thinking I’m flirting with one of the guests. I don’t want to get into a discussion about something that doesn’t mean anything, so I let it go and turn and focus on him.

  “Everything is so beautiful. Yvette looks gorgeous and so happy.”

  Julian rolls his eyes. “It’s a little over the top, but sí, she looks beautiful.”

  It occurs to me Julian and I never got the chance to talk about what we envisioned our wedding to look like. It all blew up before we made any plans, and the thought of it makes me very sad. It must be noticeable because Julian looks at me and says something that convinces me he can read my mind. “I know. We never got a chance to talk about our plans. I wouldn’t have wanted anything like this.” He’s running his fingers up and down the stem of the wineglass in front of him, and looks like he’s lost in painful memories. I feel the tears spring to my eyes when he uses past tense words. I just feel so lost and unsure where this is all going, and it simply sucks. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to indulge in what could’ve been, so I stay quiet. Luckily, the wait staff starts bringing food out which gives us something else to focus on.

  The dinner table conversation is pleasant. Julian’s family includes me in all the conversations, and from time to time I look at Gabby for mutual reassurance. I know she’s been around for a while, but I also know hers and Danny’s relationship is anything but stable. It’s only natural that the conversation turns to work and my work, The Promenade specifically. When I finish answering questions about the building, Julian’s aunt turns to him. “Why isn’t she working for you or for Bywater? Seems like her working for the competition is a bad idea.” She says it with a smile so I take it as a compliment and smile back.

  “Alexa doesn’t want to come and work for us. I’ve asked.”

  I frown at Julian. We’ve never had a real conversation, a serious conversation, about my working with them. I feel betrayed and embarrassed. I open my mouth to explain his comment, but Danny swoops in and helps me out. “Lexie is super independent and great at what she does. It’s good for her to have her own gig. Plus, if these two worked together, I’m not sure how much work would get done.” He says the last part with a wink and I know he’s trying to take the pressure off of me, but I feel even worse knowing the real reason we’ve never really talked about me working with him is because we’ve never really been on solid ground for more than a few weeks.

  Everyone laughs at Danny’s joke except Antonio, who looks at me empathetically. He looks like he feels bad for me, which is even more unnerving. I’m thankful when we make it to dessert without any other uncomfortable comments. I’m about to excuse myself to the rest room when the DJ announces the first dance. The next half an hour consists of all the traditional dances, and when the DJ finally invites all of the guests to join the bride and groom on the dance floor, I expect Julian to ask me to dance. I’m stunned when he doesn’t and instead excuses himself to go to the bathroom. I feel like a total fool. I flag the waiter down as he walks by and ask for another glass of wine. I wasn’t planning on drinking at all tonight, but the tension is getting to me and I’m not sure I can make it through much more of this night.

  I start to plan my exit strategy when Rafi walks by the table and extends his hand. “If my idiot cousin isn’t going to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room, then I would like to.”

  Wow. It must be so obvious that Julian is giving me the silent treatment. His family is taking pity on me, and I’m not sure if I’m grateful or mortified. I look around for Julian, and when I find him at the bar talking to a group of women, I take Rafi’s hand. It’s either dance or flee, and I choose dance. As I follow him to the dance floor, I keep thinking about how I’m going to kick Marissa’s ass for talking me into coming. This is a disaster and it’s snowballing … fast.

  Like the other Bauers, Rafi is an excellent dancer, and the salsa we end up dancing is fun and takes my mind off things for a few minutes. “You dance great for a gringa, Lexie.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “This gringa grew up here. I love to dance salsa, merengue, you name it.”

  He pulls me in for a spin and twirls me out again. The music is upbeat and after a few songs, I’m in need of a break and something to drink. I grab another glass of wine off of the tray of a passing waiter and head back to the table. At this point, I’m so glad neither Serena nor Alejandra have come anywhere near me, although I’ve caught them staring a few times. Maybe I’ll be able to get through the night without a run in with them. I raise my own glass in a silent toast and say “cheers to that” in my head.

  There’s nobody at the table when I sit down and after a minute or two, I decide it’s time for me to leave. I came, I saw, I’m done. I grab my purse from under my seat and stand up. I can sense Julian behind me as I do and am surprised when he takes my purse out of my hand and puts it on the table. He doesn’t say anything; he just barely takes my hand, and leads me to the dance floor. The music is jamming, and I think optimistically it’ll improve Julian’s mood. The tempo of the music works well for Julian as it allows us to keep our distance while we dance. A few songs play as we keep up the charade of having a good time, but when a slower song finally comes on everything changes. Julian pauses for a moment as if he’s debating continuing to dance with me and the hesitation speaks volumes. He’ll have to touch me if we slow dance, and he isn’t sure he wants that. I stop in my tracks and wait for him to decide. He takes a step forward and gives my hand a gentle tug. We move closer to each other as Adele’s version of Make You Feel My Love fills the room. The tension between us, both emotional and physical, is palpable as Julian takes me in his arms for the first time in over a week. He pulls me close, and I can fe
el his heartbeat against my chest and the slight trembling in his body. The emotions I’ve been feeling all week—shit, all month—take over and I start to tremble as well. Julian pulls me in even tighter and allows me to rest my head on his chest as his embrace turns tender. The warmth of his hand on the bare small of my back makes me feel safe. I find myself singing the words quietly.

  I could make you happy make your dreams come true…

  Go to the ends of the Earth for you

  I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.

  I feel Julian’s fingers under my chin as he gently lifts it up so I’m looking at him. I lose my breath as I look into the eyes of the man I so desperately love. He’s there, my Julian.

  “I feel it.” His words are a whisper and an acknowledgment that means more to me than anything. I need him to believe that I love him and that I’m sorry. I need him to feel my love. It’s the only way we’re going to make it through this.

  “Because it’s there. Always.” My words are also whispered.

  We spend the rest of the song staring into each other’s eyes and I swear the other two hundred plus people in the room just disappear. It’s just us and the love we have for each other. I want this moment to last forever, but it doesn’t, and as soon as the music ends, so does the magic. Julian starts to pull away from me and I hold on tighter. “Please don’t disappear. Please.”

  “The song is over and I think they’re getting ready to cut the cake.” His mask is back up and as he turns away, we’re swept into the throngs of people who are walking toward the cake-cutting festivities. My stomach is in knots and my head is aching from the emotional roller coaster ride he has had me on tonight. I excuse myself and head to the ladies’ room.

  The bathroom is empty except for a few young girls giggling in the corner as they try to put lip-gloss on. I smile at them thinly and head into the lounge area of the room. There are a few loveseats and chairs in here, and I sit down in the corner for a few minutes to compose myself.