by Hilary Wynne
“Long day, huh?”
“Shitty day. Let’s not talk about it, okay? Everything ended up okay and I’d rather just jump into this perfect little setting you’ve created for yourself and think about something other than work.”
I oblige and tell him about my not so exciting day. We talk about my parents, Kevin coming home, and what’s up with Jill. Julian seems more interested in Kevin’s return than anything else. “What are their plans? Is he moving in with you guys?”
Oh. This isn’t really a conversation I want to have twice in one day. I’m not sure Julian and I are ready to talk about permanent living situations. We just found our way back to each other. I can’t ignore the question though. “Probably not officially. Mari said his next assignment is to be an Army Liason Officer to the air force in Homestead. So they’re staying here in Miami, which is awesome. Her parents are pretty old school and wouldn’t want them to officially live together before they’re married though, and I know Marissa will respect that. I’m not really sure how it’s all going to play out. Our lease is technically up at the end of November, so we need to figure it out.”
“Hmm.”
Hmm? Yep. That’s what Julian says to all of that. Hmm. I expect a comment about where I’m going to be living in November, but I get nothing. I’m not going to push it though, so I just let him change the topic.
“She must be excited to have him back. I’m happy for her. I like Marissa.”
“She’s very excited. She’s throwing him a welcome home party on Thursday at Callahan’s. I’d like you to come if you can swing it.”
Julian squeezes me a little tighter. “I’ll be there.”
We sit in the tub for a while longer, not really talking. It’s comfortable though and I can tell Julian just needs me to be there with him. When the water starts to turn cold, I wiggle out of his arms and face him. I’m about to tell him I’m getting out of the bath when he says, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know how to talk to you about living together.”
I try and act strong. “It’s okay. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“I’m not worried. I’m just scared to push you. Push this.”
I run my hand over his cheek. “Don’t be scared. You aren’t pushing me to do anything. I want you. I want this, all of this. But I’m okay just taking things one day at a time until you aren’t scared anymore.” I’m really not okay with this feeling of uncertainty about the future, but I so desperately want things to be good between us I’ll do whatever I need to do.
I kiss him softly on the lips and get out. I wrap myself in a big towel, brush my teeth, and head to the bedroom. Julian joins me about fifteen minutes later, turns the lights off, and climbs under the covers. He pulls me in close and wraps himself around me. God I love being in his arms.
Chapter 25
“Lexie Reed. How the hell are you?” Kevin flashes the biggest smile when he sees me and envelops me in a bear hug.
I hug him back and kiss him on the cheek. “I’m great Kevin Moore. How the hell are you?”
“I’m fucking fantastic. It feels so good to be back.”
I look over at Marissa and see the smile covering her entire face. “Well thank God you’re here. Mari has been a real pain in my ass lately and I’m happy she’ll have someone else to harass.”
They both laugh. “I think you have that backward, Lex, but okay. I’ll harass my fiancé instead of you.”
We sit down at the kitchen table and talk about his trip home, what’s been going on today (sex), and what their plans are for the rest of the week (sex). “So, if you guys are in a sex timeout, can we go eat? I’m starving and there isn’t anything here.”
They agree and we head out to a wings place a few miles away. Over some spicy wings and a pitcher of beer, I answer Kevin’s questions about Julian. Then I answer his questions about Luke.
“So, you guys aren’t talking anymore at all? That sucks.”
“Nope. We aren’t talking at all. It’s too complicated and I’m sure Mari filled you in on what went down. My life has been a total train wreck and our friendship was a casualty. It does suck, but it has to be this way.”
I’m in a good mood and talking freely, but when I say those words, I see a cloud cross Kevin’s face. He takes my hand. “I’m sorry about everything that’s happened, Lex. Marissa did share a lot with me. I hope that’s okay. I know things were really rough for you for a while. I’m glad they’re better now.”
His words touch me. I’ve known Kevin for about three years now and because he’s marrying my best friend, I have no problem with him knowing my story. “Thank you. I’m doing pretty well. Julian’s a great guy. You’ll like him. We got off track for a while but I think we’ve gotten things straight.” I pat his hand. “But no more Lexie drama tonight. Let’s talk about you and your adventures across the world.”
The next few hours are spent laughing and drinking and it’s completely irresponsible, but when the time comes to go home, we all realize we’re too buzzed to drive. We try and get ahold of Shannon and Cory, but they’re at some work function for his company and can’t come get us. We came in my car, so we leave it in the parking lot and catch a cab back to my house. Marissa promises to drive me back in the morning to pick it up. At this point, there is no way I’m going back to the condo because it’s already close to ten. I feel like I’m going to disappoint Julian, but there isn’t any way around it.
Alexa: Hi. Im just going to stay hre 2night. I lve u.
Julian: Are you okay?
Alexa: Uh huh. Its late.
The phone rings after my second text. “Hola, mi amor. What’s up? I thought we agreed on getting naked tonight back at the condo.”
He doesn’t sound upset, which is good. He sounds playful. “I’m sorry. It’s late and I’m tired.”
“And buzzed?”
I giggle at little. “A little. You can tell?”
“Sí. Read your text. You never spell things wrong and you sound like it.”
“Okay. I’m busted. We went out to dinner and had a few pitchers of beer. It just happened. We were celebrating.”
“I know baby. It’s okay. How did you get home?”
“We took a cab and left my car there. We were just down the road. Marissa is gonna take me to get it in the morning.”
Julian exhales audibly. “Is it safe where it is?”
“Yep. It’s near the mall. It’ll be fine. I’m sorry though. I did want to get naked with you.”
“It’s okay. Did you have a good night?”
I’m a little drunk and chatty, so I launch into a descriptive recount of a story Kevin told me about being in Korea. Julian probably doesn’t care but he’s being polite and letting me talk. I’m into the story, trying hard to remember the good parts, when I hear a knock at the door. I’m surprised because it’s late, but when I peek out the window, I smile when I see Julian’s Jag.
“You can hang up now.” I open the storm door and walk into his outstretched arms. “Why didn’t you say you were coming? I swear my car is okay. You didn’t need to come all the way down here for that.”
Julian kisses me and slides his tongue in my mouth. “I didn’t come for the car. I came so we could get naked like we discussed this morning.”
I pull back and look at him. “Are you sure you’re okay being here? In my bed?”
“I’m fine. But thank you for asking.”
He takes my hand and leads me to my room. I’m in shorts and a tank top and he wastes no time removing them. He takes his own clothes off as well and walks me backward to my bed. He sits me on the edge, tells me to lie back, and gets on his knees between my legs. Within seconds, I’m squirming in ecstasy as his tongue massages my silky clit. I can’t take it anymore and give in to the orgasm that wants to ripple through my body.
“Damn, Julian. That was unexpected. Fucking awesome, but unexpected.”
“Good. Now scoot back. I need to
be inside of you.”
I do as I’m told and can’t help but gasp when he plunges into me. It becomes clear very quickly Julian just needs to, or wants to, get off, and in light of my present state, I’m cool with that. After he cums, he rolls over and catches his breath. He looks at me and I see a little concern on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Was that okay?”
“Was what okay? You giving me a great orgasm and then getting one for yourself? Because yeah, it was okay.”
“I don’t want you to think it doesn’t mean anything to me, Corazón, because it always does.” I roll over and rest my head on his chest. “It’s okay to just fuck sometimes. I promise. I’m good. But thanks for saying that.”
Morning comes quickly and I wake up with a headache and a queasy stomach. I really am a bad drinker. I hear Julian in the shower and get up to join him. I’m not feeling very sexy or very flirty, and I let him know right away when he starts running his soapy hands over my body. He looks a little disappointed, but respects my hangover and leaves me to finish my shower alone. I get out and blow-dry my hair, put my makeup on, and get dressed. There are three men in the house right now and coming out in a robe probably isn’t a great plan. I put on a red, white, and black fitted tank dress and a pair of red and black L.A.M.B. heels. Then I go in search of both Julian and a cup of coffee. I find both in the kitchen. Julian is sitting at the table with Kevin and Cory talking about the Dolphins and what a miserable season they’re having. I kiss him on the cheek and make myself a cup of coffee.
They’re talking like they’ve all been friends forever. Stupid tears come to my eyes. Could it really be this easy and seamless with all the pieces of my life fitting together? I already lost my best friend because of my relationship with Julian, and although Kevin isn’t Luke to me, it means so much to see our little group can blend. I spin on my heel and lean back on the counter.
“Who even cares about the Dolphins? They suck. Let’s talk about the FSU/Miami game in a few weeks.”
Julian is a UM alumni and we’ve had a few heated discussions about his Canes and my Seminoles. He looks at me and scowls. “We can talk about that when you’re crying on my shoulder after the game.”
“It’ll be the other way around, Bauer, but whatever makes you happy.”
Julian looks at me, and right in front of the others, says words that melt my heart. “You make me happy. Even if you went to the wrong Florida school.”
I walk over and sit on his lap. “Let’s agree to disagree this morning. I just used up all my wittiness.”
“Hung-over, mi amor?”
I nod and Kevin jumps into the conversation. “Marissa too. She doesn’t want to get out of bed. Whose idea was it to order a third pitcher?”
“I plead the fifth. And on that note, we need to get going, Julian. I’m going to get my stuff and we need to go get my car. I’ll just follow you back to the beach okay?” I stand up and he smacks me lightly on the ass. He’s being so playful and open. I freaking love it. The guys are finishing up when I walk back into the kitchen, and I smile when I see Kevin and Julian shaking hands and talking about hanging out soon. I also hear Kevin invite Julian to the party Thursday night and I cringe a little. I need to tell Julian that Luke is also invited. I’m not sure how he’s going to feel about it, but now that he’s met Kevin, he may want to go.
Julian helps me get my clothes into his car and shakes his head when he sees the amount of stuff I have. “What? I don’t want to keep coming home to change.”
He looks at me and nods. It’s another missed opportunity to discuss our living arrangements. When we get to my car he passionately kisses me goodbye and lets me know he’s going to be home late. And he is. It’s ten when he walks in the door. My day was long and busy and I was exhausted, so I’m asleep when he gets into bed. The next morning is more of the same and so is the night. We have settled into a nice, calm little routine. I wish he wasn’t working so much, but at least I’m feeling his arms around me at night.
Over breakfast Thursday morning, I finally get the guts to tell Julian that Kevin invited Luke to the party.
“I figured as much. They’re friends. I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to.”
“I didn’t say that. I just didn’t want you to be surprised and not know he might be there. I’ve known and been nervous to tell you. I want you to go, but I also don’t want to fight with you. We’re on a pretty good stretch of getting along.”
He nods. “I’ll go. It’ll be okay. I’ll stay on my side of the bar and he can stay on his. I’m pretty good at co-existing at parties with people who have slept with my girlfriends.”
His tone is so sarcastic. I’m not surprised either. I figured it would come out sometime soon. There’s no way he’s suddenly okay with Luke and what happened. I regret even bringing this up. I should’ve just told Mari and Kevin we couldn’t make it. “Well, I don’t want you to have to deal with it and pretend to be okay with a situation you really aren’t okay with. I can just stop by for a little bit and then meet you back at my house.”
“Or we can go together. Meet me back at the condo at six and we’ll go.” Julian’s tone is very matter of fact and I know the only way out of this is if I don’t go. I’ll feel like shit if I bail on them but the alternative might be worse. My thoughts of doom and gloom follow me all day. I reach out to Marissa later in the day and she lets me know Luke might not be able to make it. I hope that’s the case for the sake of my relationship with Julian, however, I’d be a huge liar if I didn’t admit I was a little disappointed at the thought of not seeing Luke. I still miss him.
I meet Julian at the condo, change into a pair of jeans, a tank top and wedges, and we head out to the party. Julian is in a good mood. The stress of the week seems to be behind him, and as we drive to Coral Gables, we settle into a nice, easy conversation about work and life in general. Maybe tonight isn’t going to be so bad? I feel pretty happy all the way up to the door of Callahan’s … right up until I see Luke. Fuck.
I truly thought Luke would skip the party so when I see him standing by the bar, I’m instantly thrown into panic mode. I see Julian has spotted him too. His smile is gone and his mask is on. His relaxed body language has disappeared.
I turn all the way around so he can look me in the eye. “I didn’t think he would show up because Mari told me she told him we would be here together. We can leave.”
He meets my gaze coldly. “Why would we leave? You need to be here to support your friends.”
“And I think the best way to support them is to not ruin the night, Julian.”
“We aren’t leaving, Alexa.”
I can tell by the tone of his voice there will be no more discussion about this. I just really hope Luke steers clear of us. Callahan’s isn’t a small place and there are a lot of people here, so it should be fairly simple to avoid each other. I can’t help but be thrown by seeing Luke. This is the first time I’ve seen him since we were together. He looks good. He looks happy and I truly hope he is. I’m a little surprised at how I’m feeling inside right now. I want to go to him. I want to hug him. I want to be his friend. I knew I missed him, but I’ve been able to push those feelings way down deep while I worked on rebuilding my relationship with Julian. Seeing him here, in a place that we used to hang out in with all of our friends, is hard. A flood of memories rushes through me, and because I’m an open book, Julian notices.
“Unless you can’t handle it. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
I hear the sarcasm in his voice and know he isn’t being serious. He’s baiting me and trying to see how I’m going to react. I honestly thought we had made some progress, but judging by the look on his face, we might as well be right back to when I first told him. He’s pissed and a pissed Julian isn’t a good thing.
“You’re the one who can’t handle this. You look very upset. Can we please go?” I grab his hand and try and move him toward the door. For a moment I think he’s
in agreement because he turns and follows me a few feet. Unfortunately, we’re stopped by Shannon and Cory who are just getting here. Shannon’s smile disappears when she sees the look on both of our faces.
“Is everything okay, Lex?” She looks around the room and I know when she sees Luke because clarity registers on her face.
“Everything is fine. We’re just going to take off. I’ll talk to you later. Have fun.”
I give both her and Cory a hug and grab Julian’s hand again. I try to lead him toward the door, but he isn’t moving. I look at him and plead with my eyes.
“Everything is fine, Shannon. Alexa and I are just trying to figure out how to deal with being with Luke in the same room. I mean it’s a little awkward all being here, you know because we’ve both recently slept with Lexie, but we’re all adults here.”
I feel the blood immediately rush to my face. I can’t believe he just said that. By the looks on both Cory and Shannon’s face, they can’t either. Shannon jumps to my defense.
“That’s so not cool, Julian. Maybe you should leave.” She mouths the words “I’m sorry” to me.
“Not cool. Why? It’s not like everyone in the room doesn’t know about them hooking up.” His voice is so cold. I drop his hand and face him.
“That’s enough Julian. If you want to insult me and make me feel bad you can do it somewhere else. This party is important to Marissa, and we’re not going to ruin it with our issues.”
Julian looks down at me and I see the storm of emotions raging in his eyes. Crap. He just shakes his head. Then he walks the other direction, toward the bar, and toward Luke. My heart is pounding out of my chest as I watch his back. I don’t know whether to follow him or stay away. I look at my friends in search of an answer.
“I have no idea what to do. I didn’t think Luke would be dumb enough to show up here. Julian is beyond pissed right now.” I feel panicky and I know in my gut this night isn’t going to end well.
Cory tries to comfort me. “He’s okay. He’s a good guy and I doubt he’ll make a scene here. Just go be with him.”
