He really was so very good for me. It was strange, but I felt more like myself when I was around him. I could relax and not worry about having to say the right thing all the time. Eric respected me as a person and as a professional, something that I hadn’t realized was as important to me as it was. Mickelson had ground me so far down, I’d forgotten what my life looked like standing up. Eric helped me see that, even if he didn’t come out and say it overtly.
And I’d let him go.
Shit.
I let the weight of my thoughts pull my head down until my forehead rested against my knees. Things were far too confusing for me, too heavy. No. I had to get my act together. Life would continue on regardless of if I chose to keep going or not. I needed to pick myself up and figure out how to move forward without Eric, my job, or Great Glenna. Standing, I brushed myself off and kissed my fingertips before I pressed them to the gravestone.
“I’m sorry. Love you, Great Glenna. Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure this out and get on with my life.”
On my way back I noticed a woman standing at a stone. She looked to be a bit older than me, and far taller. She’d placed a bouquet on top of the grave and started to walk down the path at the same time.
When we were side by side, she turned her head and smiled. “Beautiful day.”
“It is. We won’t get too many more of these before the cold comes.”
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue. “You look like you need this.”
“Thanks. I wasn’t expecting to come here. Not exactly sure why I did.”
“When my husband, Rob, passed a few years ago, I showed up here at the most random of times. Usually when I was trying to figure something out and I wanted to talk to him.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” I swallowed. It was hard enough losing Great Glenna, I couldn’t picture how I’d survive if I’d lost a man I loved. You would probably feel like you did when Eric told you to go.
“I’m sorry for yours.”
“Great Glenna was ninety-eight and lived a full life. She wanted me to do the same, but I’ve somehow screwed mine up instead.”
“I know that feeling. Like no matter what you do the opposite happens and you’re all, you idiot, why the hell did you do that.” Her voice rose an octave and she waved her hand around her head. “It took a while, but if I can figure things out, I’m sure you can too.”
“Well, my track record has been pretty crappy recently. Lost my job and the guy who I think I could have fallen in love with dumped me for my own good.”
“Ouch.” The woman pushed her hands deep in her pockets. “I had something similar happen to me. My guy walked away and I actually let him go.”
“It hurts.”
“Yeah. But then do you know what I did?” She stopped walking as we reached the parking lot and faced me. “I realized that life is short and sometimes the things that get in the way are really just a means to prove to yourself that you can get what you want.”
“So you got your guy?”
She smiled and I knew that this was a woman who was in a good place in her life. “There was groveling involved, and some . . . things that I probably shouldn’t share with a stranger. But yeah, I got him.”
If this woman who’d lost her husband could move on and find happiness with someone else, then there was no reason why I couldn’t do the same. “Thank you. That actually helps.”
“No problem. I’m not normally the advice person, that’s my sister. It’s good to know that I don’t completely suck at it.” She nodded and then got into her car.
It wasn’t until she drove out of sight that I realized I hadn’t asked her name.
Oh well. Mystery Woman was right, I could let what happened consume me, or I could overcome it. I could let Eric get away without a fight, or I could go down swinging. I needed a plan if I was going to do this. I needed to get home and take a look at my board and figure out the next step.
I wasn’t doing this for Great Glenna, my parents, Jasmine, or even the mystery woman. Hell, I wasn’t even doing this for Eric. The only person who could make me happy was me. The time I’d shared with Eric had been what I wanted; I was the person I wanted to be when I was with him. If I let him drift away without even making an attempt to get him back, I would regret it for the rest of my life. No, I wouldn’t be that person. I was going to go after him. I was going to make things right.
I drank a beer as I stood in front of my corkboard. Seeing as I didn’t have anywhere to be, or any standards that I felt I had to meet, there was no reason not to have a beer. Plus it was after three, so that was like not even remotely bad. Not really. Just because I was drinking alone and unemployed . . .
Anyway. Eric!
I set my beer down and took a look at the board. I hadn’t added Day Twenty-seven to the sexy fun time, even though that had totally happened. A part of me felt guilty for having enjoyed it, regardless of what the fallout had been. I debated with myself for a moment before I fished it out and put it on the board. There. I also added Day Fifteen for our role-playing adventure, smiling as I remembered how awesome the night had been.
It was hard to believe that had only been a few days ago.
With that done, I turned my attention to my primary focus: learning about Eric.
I hadn’t added much on that side of the board recently. It was apparent that knowing he preferred the original ending to Little Shop of Horrors wasn’t going to help me solve my current dilemma. The one card that I’d been avoiding was the one I knew would give me the most answers.
I pulled Grace’s name from the board and held it up. I didn’t have a last name or a school to go on, which would make tracking her down a bit difficult. A quick check of the faculty directory told me that she wasn’t at U of T any longer. There was only one avenue that might give me what I needed to know.
It only took a second to look up the number for the Reading Street Pub online. The restaurant was closed, but thankfully someone still picked up. “Reading Street, how may I help you?”
“Hi.” So this was a bit weird. “I was wondering if Claude is available?”
“Ah, maybe. I’ll have to check. He was out in the brewery. Who’s calling?”
“Glenna. You can tell him that I’m a friend of Eric’s.”
Vivaldi’s “Spring” came over the line as I was put on hold. It was bright and warm, the complete opposite to how I currently felt. I couldn’t be certain that Claude even remembered who I was. Maybe he’d been a big fan of Grace and the last thing he wanted was to see Eric off with some other woman. Or he could simply be busy and I’d have to delay my pursuit of Eric for another day.
The problem was, if I put this off I was terrified that I’d suddenly lose my momentum and Eric would drift away.
Vivaldi disappeared in a blink to be replaced with a cheerful male voice. “Glenna! Eric’s little pixie friend. How are you doing?”
He thought I looked like a pixie? So wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Hi. Yes, that’s me.”
“Don’t tell me he’s done something to upset you already?”
“Not exactly. Well, sort of.”
“Clear as mud.” He laughed. “What did the little asshole do now?”
Ah, so they were that sort of friends. “He broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. But he’s my friend and I’m not going to do anything to hurt him.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to. Honestly, I’m trying to figure things out.”
I rattled off the entire story, not wanting to pause too long in the event Claude tried to stop me. I didn’t need to worry. When I finished, there was a brief pause. “I told you he was an asshole.”
Okay, I liked this guy. “No he’s not. Clearly, Grace hurt him and that’s between the two of them. But it’s impacting my relationship with him. If I’ve screwed up and he wants to break things off, fine. But I don’t want to be punished for someone else’s crimes.”
There was another pause. I heard tapp
ing on the other end and a mutter that sounded suspiciously like fuck it. “I can’t tell you what happened. That’s their story. But I can tell you that Grace’s last name is Bilodeau and she works at York. If she won’t tell you anything, then I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, so much. A chance, that’s all I wanted.”
“You have to promise me that you won’t harass Grace. She’s not the person you think she is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Grace and Eric had a complicated relationship. In the end they wanted different things, which was neither’s fault. Just . . . be kind. She did love Eric. I never doubted that.”
My nerves jumped again. “I will. Promise.”
“I have to go, Glenna. I hope I’ll see you again.”
“I hope so too.”
Armed with a name and a location, it didn’t take me long to call the school and find out Grace’s timetable. If I caught the bus in the next five minutes, I’d be able to make it before her next class. Finally, things were starting to come together.
24
I stood in the doorway of a classroom as the remainder of the students trickled out. In typical fashion, there were always some stragglers lingering behind to speak with the professor. I’d been here for fifteen minutes, and from the minute I’d laid eyes on Grace Bilodeau I’d been trying to figure out what to say.
Claude was right that she wasn’t exactly what I’d been expecting.
Grace sat in a sport-style wheelchair. Her black curly hair was piled on top of her head like a mountain about to avalanche. Her frame was small, but she looked to have a long torso. She spoke to her students in an animated fashion that had her arms flying around as though they were sentient beings of their own. She looked glorious.
The last student finally left and Grace caught sight of me. “I’m sorry, this class is full and I can’t accept any more transfers.”
I blinked. “Oh, I’m not a student.”
She rolled her chair with ease around her desk at the front of the room, collecting her things. “I’m sorry. How may I help you?”
In all of my musings on the way over here, I hadn’t come up with a good way to introduce myself. I stepped into the room and locked my hands behind my back. “Umm, this is a bit awkward. My name is Glenna O’Donald. You’re Professor Bilodeau?”
“I am.” She stopped moving and motioned for me to have a seat. “This is my last class of the day, but I believe there is a study group that meets here in thirty minutes.”
“I don’t think this will take long.” I sat down in the desk and gave myself a moment to collect my thoughts. “I’m a friend of Eric’s.”
She looked at me, her gaze narrowing slightly. “How is he doing?”
“Until yesterday I would have said great.”
“What happened yesterday?”
“I got fired. He’s blaming himself.”
“Ah.” I could tell from the look on her face that she wasn’t even a little surprised.
“He broke up with me. Told me that this was history repeating itself and that he didn’t want to do to me what he did to you. Except he never told me what happened between you. I don’t mean to pry, but I’m not willing to give him up without a fight and I can’t fight what I don’t understand. I was hoping you could help me with that.”
“So he talked about me?” She ran her hand along the seat of her wheelchair. “I’m surprised.”
“Not really. He mentioned you, but he didn’t say much. I didn’t want to push, so I didn’t ask more.”
Grace looked at me again, and I couldn’t help but feel I was being assessed for my worthiness. “Tell me what happened.”
It was strange giving her the details of the last few weeks of my life. There were many things I could have left out, but the last thing I wanted was for her to call me out for lying and not help.
“So my friend, whom I love, but is a complete jackass at times, took the opportunity to kiss me in front of Eric. Her girlfriend saw and happily informed my boss about everything. The next thing I know, I’m being let go and Eric dumps me saying it was all his fault for me doing something that was out of character.”
Grace actually laughed. “It’s nice to know some things never change. Eric was always a bit of a martyr. That’s actually the reason I broke up with him.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “May I ask what happened?”
“You were honest with me, so the least I can do is repay the favor. I’m eight years older than Eric. We met when he first started working here and hit it off. He was quiet, still feeling his way around the world of academia and I’d offered to help. One thing led to another and we started sleeping together.”
There wasn’t any reason to be jealous of Grace. Her relationship with Eric was well in the past, and she clearly had no interest in getting back with him. Still, I had to squash the evil part of myself that wanted to hiss at her. Shit, I was a child at times.
She turned her attention to the back of the classroom. “We were together for over a year. The sex was great, but it didn’t take long to realize that we were at different stages in our lives. I knew he wanted to eventually have children, buy a house, get a dog. I didn’t want any of that. I prefer books to toys and you couldn’t pay me to have a pet. Just a little over two years ago I invited him out to supper and I broke up with him.”
She’d done to him what he’d done to me. I wondered if he’d even realized the similarity.
Grace sucked in a breath and shook herself out of the haze she’d slipped under. “We fought. Eric was adamant that we could work things out. We didn’t have to have children if I didn’t want. The dog wasn’t a must have, etcetera. I said no, I was done. I stormed out demanding he take me home. I could do that back then.” She patted the wheel.
“What happened?” A part of me didn’t want to hear the rest of the story, dreaded hearing my fears vocalized, but I knew I had no choice. I came here looking for answers and I wasn’t leaving until I had them all.
“We kept fighting. I should have let it go, but I knew he wouldn’t back down and once I get going, it’s hard for me to stop. We fought as he drove. It’s my fault that he wasn’t paying attention when the deer ran out in front of us. He swerved, but it was too late and we ended up over an embankment and hitting a tree. He was hurt quite badly with a nasty gash to his side. The impact left me paralyzed.”
Jesus. “I’m so sorry.”
“So was Eric. He blamed himself for what happened. Once I got out of the hospital he promised me that he’d look after me, that he’d make sure I never wanted for anything. I loved him for the offer, but I didn’t love him any longer. I couldn’t make him commit to me, paying eternal penance for something he wasn’t to blame for. So I was cruel to him. He ended up leaving the school.”
I sighed. “That explains so much. He didn’t socialize much at all last year. It was only in the past month that I even discovered he knew my name.”
“Typical. I bet he was brooding. He had that nailed before he left U of T.”
We shared a smile and all the jealousy I’d felt melted away. I liked this woman, admired her for what she’d gone through and come out the other side the stronger for. “So what should I do?”
“Go kick his ass. Tell him Grace said he was being a dick and to stop. He’s not evil incarnate. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. It’s what we do in the aftermath that’s key.”
I stood and held out my hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It gives me peace to know that Eric has found someone who will make him happy.”
“Do you think?”
“I have no doubt. I was surprised when he sent me a bouquet of flowers the other week. His note was simple. He said thank you, that I was right, and that he’d finally moved on. I suspected he’d finally met the right woman and I couldn’t have been happier.”
“Oh.” The flowers were a good-bye, that’s what he’d said. My heart fluttered and I jumped to my feet. �
��I better head out.”
“Go get him.”
I left the school with a plan. Poor Eric wasn’t going to know what hit him.
I didn’t put my plan into action immediately. There were things that I wanted to set up, arrangements to be made if I was going to make an impact. I talked to Jasmine after my meeting with Grace. It didn’t feel right sharing what I’d learned with her, especially how bad he still felt about everything. But I needed her help if my plan was going to work, and that meant convincing her that he was still worth the risk.
I shouldn’t have had any doubt that she’d be on board. I pulled my phone away from my ear when she squealed. “Oh my God, that’s a brilliant idea!”
“I know.” It took me the better part of a day and a half to come up with it. “So you’ll help?”
“Of course I will. Just because my love life has gone down the tubes doesn’t mean I want you to join me.”
“I’m so sorry about Nell.”
“Don’t be. This has been an issue for as long as we’d been together. I can’t be with someone who can’t trust me.” She cleared her throat. “Look, let’s focus on you, Super Vixen.”
“I should never have told you that.”
“Shut up. I need to know all your weird, kinky shit. Now, tell me what you need me to do.”
“Get a pen and an index card from the shelf under the printer.”
“Yup.”
“Okay, write Day Twenty-one. Today he’s out of the office at one thirty—”
“I love that you know his schedule—”
“But he locks his office so you’ll have to ask maintenance to open the door for you. Then just put it on his desk with the banana and leave the rest to me.”
“Dare I ask what the banana is for?”
“It would scar you for life.”
“Okay, not asking. You have to promise to tell me how this works out.”
“In all the gory details.”
“Go get him.”
I still had a few calls to make, but now that I’d gotten things started, I had a good feeling that things were going to work out for the best. All I had to do was to seduce Eric and convince him that history didn’t have to repeat itself. That we could have a relationship, maybe even a life together if things worked out. That he wasn’t to blame for my mistakes.
30 Nights Page 22
