DUBIOUS

by McKinney, Tina Brooks

  “No shit, Sherlock.”

  “But it’s much deeper than that. I didn’t realize that it was men I was attracted to. I’ve been fighting it all my life. I experimented with the dogs without fear of being discovered.”

  “So I was right, you are fucking men now.”

  I hung my head. Hearing her say it sounded so disgusting, but it was what it was. “Yeah, I tried it.”

  “Damn.” She wanted to say something else, I could hear it in her voice.

  “But I’m still attracted to women, that’s why I know that I’m just bi.”

  “Just bi? How are you going to twist your lips and say that to me as if that revelation makes everything okay. You put my ass through hell, causing me to doubt my own self-worth!”

  “Felicia, I’m not saying it’s okay. I know you can’t understand this; and, to be honest with you, I’m still piecing it together. But know this: my sexual identity has no bearing on you and what we had. I guess I’ve always been curious; I just didn’t have the balls to do something about it.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” Now she sounded a little hurt.

  “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I feel. You don’t have to worry about me saying anything to anybody. I’m not denying who I am anymore, but I ain’t at the point where I’m willing to go prancing off down the street advertising it, either.”

  “Okay. I’ll try to respect you for that. Just so you know, I gave the company to my friend Sherman to hold until I could sell it properly to Sam. Anita has been snooping around. I didn’t want her to find out about the business, so I got it out of my name as quickly as I could. Sam will take official ownership next month, and he will run a respectable establishment.”

  “You sure know how to throw those daggers.” I lowered my head in shame, ready to hang up.

  “Sorry, that wasn’t meant as a barb.”

  “Alright. Look, I’ve got to get back to work. Watch your back now, hear?”

  “I hear ya. I’ve got something for the handy heifer, trust and believe.”

  “Okay, take care.”

  “Yeah, you too … Randy?”

  “Huh?”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” I hung up the phone before I started crying like a bitch. Every time I spoke to her, I was reminded of how badly I had hurt her. If I could change the way things had ended, I would do so in a heartbeat. The damage was done and there was no turning back.

  CHAPTER 43

  Felicia

  Inside I was burning up. It took every ounce of strength I had not to march down the hall and slap the taste out of that heifer’s mouth. I counted to one hundred before I picked up the phone and called Sherman. Hopefully, he would have some news for me that would calm me down.

  My and Sherman’s relationship was growing. I was learning to lean on a man, which was something I hadn’t been able to do during the whole time I was married. It was a strange feeling, but I was beginning to get used to it.

  “Hey baby,” I said when he answered.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t hand me that shit! I know you. Now, what’s wrong?”

  “I just got a call from Randy. He said that Anita approached him pretending to be a friend but was really seeking information. I swear if she spent as much time concentrating on her work as she does me, she would be managing partner right about now.”

  “Humph! When donkeys fly,” Sherman said.

  “Damn, I haven’t heard that expression in years,” I spoke my thoughts out loud.

  “Well, it’s true.”

  “What? So you know something that I don’t know?”

  “Yeah, baby girl, I do. How ’bout dinner tonight? I could whip up a little something on the grill and fill you in on all the details.”

  “Sherman, I can’t wait that long. Tell me what you found out.”

  “Sorry, boo, but that’s my final offer.”

  My first reaction was to get angry. I had been more than patient while waiting for his private investigator to give him the report. In fact, I hadn’t mentioned it at all since I’d given him all the information we’d dug up during the office search last week. Therefore, I felt he was being unreasonable. Before I could voice my opinion, he stopped me.

  “I can’t go into details over the phone.”

  That shut my ass up for good. “What time should I be there?”

  “When can you pull yourself away?”

  I said, “I can leave right now.” I was too eager to find out what he had learned.

  “Whoa, I got to stop by the store first. Give me about two hours, okay?”

  “Alright, do you want me to bring anything?”

  “I could use a big hug and a kiss.”

  “I can handle that. I’ll see you later,” I said.

  I tried to get my mind back on work after the phone call, but it was useless. In fact, sitting in the office was plain torture. I called Talisa and told her I was going home for the day. I was going to use the time to stop by my house and get a change of clothing for the morning. This way I could spend the night over to Sherman’s house without having to get up early in the morning to go get some clothes. I told her that Sherman had some information for me and that I would call her as soon as I heard.

  Even though I had made it out of the office before rush hour had officially began, traffic was horrible. Bumper-to-bumper traffic, a drought, and hundred degree temperatures were not a good mix. The drivers in every car I looked at were frowning. People couldn’t roll windows down because the smog and heat was suffocating. Everyone was looking for a way to get in front of the driver ahead of them. It was times like these that I wished I could catch public transportation and leave the driving to someone else. But that wasn’t an option for me since I’d frequently had to attend meetings outside of the office, and it wasn’t feasible to rely on MARTA.

  “Hey, watch it!” I yelled, swerving to avoid hitting the car next to me. The drive had tried to come over into my lane without even bothering to look to see if it was safe to do so. I gave her the finger and kept it moving. Getting into a car accident would only add icing to an already crappy cake. My mind was going faster than the car, but I managed to get home safely.

  Grabbing the mail from the box, I skimmed it to see if anything required my immediate attention. I poured a glass of wine, and decided to chill before I began packing. I turned on some music then ran some bath water to relax in. I wanted to be stress free when I got to Sherman’s house. My thoughts drifted back to the office.

  For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I was such a thorn in Anita’s behind. From day one, she’d been picking at me trying to get a reaction. Maybe I should have gone sista-girl on her the first day and she might have left me alone. The thing that really got to me was the fact she was dragging another sister down along with her. From the water cooler conversations that I’d overheard, Anita was the least favorite person in the office. Everyone had felt her sting in one form or another. Frack, Desiree McCall, was getting a bad name just by association. If jealously was purely racial, why didn’t she turn on Desiree? As hard as I had tried, I could not find the answer to that one.

  * * *

  I could smell the grill a block from Sherman’s house. Its hickory flavor caused my stomach to grumble. I pressed my foot down on the gas pedal because I was eager to see what he had prepared. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the smell assaulted my nose. By the time I threw the car in Park, I was practically skipping up the walkway. I followed my nose to the back yard. “Honey, I’m home.” I chuckled at my own stupidity. I could not tell if I was more excited about seeing Sherman or his culinary skills. The man was truly talented both in the bedroom and out of it. For the moment, thoughts of Anita and her trifling ass were forgotten.

  Sherman came out of the house carrying a bottle of wine and two long stem glasses. “I thought I heard you out here.”

  I watc
hed as he opened the bottle and poured us a glass of bubbly. I probably shouldn’t drink anymore without eating, but I was not about to let this expensive champagne go to waste.

  He kissed me as he handed me a glass. “Umm, you smell good.”

  “So do you. What’s that scent you are wearing? La Chicken or La Steak?”

  “Very funny. I’m going to take a shower after we eat.”

  “I’m just joking. It smells wonderful. I could smell it a block away.”

  “Good. All my hard work has paid off. Have a seat. I just took the steaks off the grill, so everything is hot.” He headed back into the kitchen.

  “Do you need any help?”

  “I’ve got it, baby.”

  Good. I didn’t feel like doing anything anyway. I sat down on the chaise lounge and sipped my wine. I could truly get used to living this way. Sherman was such an easy man to be around. I had yet to see him get angry, and he wasn’t one of those men who would nitpick you to death. He was also real easy on the eyes.

  “What are you grinning about?” he said as he came out of the house.

  “I was thinking about how sexy you are.”

  “Yeah, that was a good answer. Come on and eat, baby.”

  The conversation at dinner was full of light banter and sexual innuendo, which made my panties wet. I was going to have to take another bath before I even thought about getting into bed with him.

  He said, “Did you bring something to wear for work in the morning?”

  “Why would I do that?”

  He looked like someone had just snatched his favorite toy. “Then I guess you’re going to have to wear what you got in the morning ’cause I have no intensions of letting you go tonight.”

  “Oh, I love it when a man takes control.” I helped him clear the dishes and put everything in the dishwasher.

  I was curled up on the couch when he came back into the living room with a large folder. “What’s that?” My eyes were riveted on the folder.

  “The news you’ve been waiting for.”

  This got my attention; I placed my feet on the floor. “Wow, that’s a pretty big folder.”

  “Your girl Anita has been busy. Did you know that she is related to the managing partner of your firm?”

  “Get out of here. Who?”

  “Gary Yeager. He claims she is his niece, but my guy tells me he is more likely her father since he was sleeping with her mother at the time she got pregnant.”

  “Shut up!” Talisa’s going to love this shit, I thought.

  “Wait, there’s more: We could not find any proof that she graduated from law school. In fact, she barely graduated from high school.”

  “Hold up. This is crazy. Are you sure?” I jumped up and started pacing the floor. All of it was beginning to make sense. Anita didn’t go through the same type of selection process the rest of us had gone through. She was also hired outside of the normal recruitment cycle.

  “He leaned back on the sofa. We checked out everything. Not only that, she’s the highest paid assistant in the firm with the exception of her uncle. She makes more money than you.”

  Now I’m not one who gives a rat’s ass about other people and the money they make, but this really pissed me off. All the time this heifer had been sweating me and she was making more money than me. It just didn’t make sense. “But how? We vote on salaries. I never even saw her name listed.”

  “Precisely. It appears as if Anita has something on all the partners except you. She’s been blackmailing them.”

  “Blackmail? With what?” I was practically in Sherman’s lap.

  “You know that apartment building across the street from your office?”

  “Yeah, it blocks her view of the skyline.”

  “The skyline ain’t what she’s looking at. Anita and her friend Desiree have been watching the activity in those apartments. They have detailed records of the comings and goings of all the partners. They were dumb enough to put the apartments on the firm’s accounts, and Anita got a hold of it. She’s got the place wired and has tapes of each of them with someone other than their wives.”

  “I knew the heifer was sneaky, but damn. I would’ve never imagined her going so low.”

  “If I were a betting man, I would venture to guess that her uncle supplied her with the information about the apartment building to keep them in line.”

  “Wow, isn’t that some shit. But this doesn’t explain why she has it out for me.”

  “You’re the only one she doesn’t have anything on. You could very well upset the balance of the entire firm. Therefore, you are a threat.”

  The weight of his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

  “But what about her clients? I’ve seen her practicing law. If she doesn’t have a degree, the firm could be liable for a serious lawsuit?”

  “Her uncle does the work, and she presents it as her own. The other partners won’t say anything ’cause they aren’t ready to give up half to their spouses if their deception is discovered.”

  “Oh my God! This is incredible. So where does Desiree fit in all this shit?” I couldn’t wait to give Talisa the scoop.

  “She’s a flunky, but her shit is stinking too. She’s an ex-call girl who’s used to selling herself to the highest bidder. The partners think she is the one holding all the cards, and she doesn’t even know she’s being used. If the shit blows up, who do you think would be more credible in a court of law?”

  “Anita.” I couldn’t believe it.

  “You guessed it.”

  “So how do I fight this heifer? She’s got the entire firm by the balls.”

  “The only way to fight fire is with fire. There is enough information in this file to take her down. Tomorrow we will start fighting back. My guy is available to work with you and Talisa.”

  “Wow! I just can’t get over this shit. I’ve spent my entire career trying to be above the law only to find out I’m swimming in a sea of snakes.”

  “Welcome to the real world. Now come over here and let me taste those sweet lips.” He gestured with his pointer finger for me to come closer.

  As much as I wanted get lost between the sheets with Sherman, my mind was focused on revenge. The indecision was clearly etched on my face even though I tried to mask it. Thankfully Sherman could read my expression and allowed me a chance to go through the file.

  He handed me the folder. “Here, you’re not going to be happy until you see the details yourself.”

  “Oh thank you, baby. You’re right, I have to see it, touch it, and hold it. That heifer has been plotting against me for years, so I need to catch up with a quickness.”

  “I’ll put on a pot of coffee ’cause it looks like it’s going to be a long night.”

  I didn’t hear a single word after he had handed me the file. With my legal pad in hand, I started to dissect the file. One thing was for certain: this bitch had balls made of brass.

  CHAPTER 44

  Randy

  I had done some pretty stupid things in my life but moving in with Jamie had to be the dumbest. I had thought my move would allow me the freedom to discover the person I really wanted to be, but that was not the way it was going down. Jamie was controlling my entire life and treating me like his real-life puppet. The bad part about it was that I’d burned my bridges with Kelvin, so going back to his house was out of the question, and I didn’t have the money saved to move anywhere else.

  Jamie hated the fact that I had stayed at Kelvin’s house. Even though I had slept on the sofa, Jamie didn’t like Kelvin having “control” of me. I tried to explain to him that Kelvin was just being a friend, but he had contrived in his mind that Kelvin had an ulterior motive which hadn’t shown itself yet.

  Every time Jamie called, I would have to hear his sarcastic comments. He accused me of slinging dick to both of them. At first, I thought it was cute, and I secretly used Kelvin as a means to get Jamie to tell me how he felt about me. Jamie acted all hard on the outside, but deep down inside
he was a very affectionate person who was looking for love. I wanted to be that man for him, but his constant bitching was getting on my last nerve.

  “If there isn’t anything going on between the two of you, why don’t you come stay with me?” He had said to me.

  “Jamie, stop playing. You know you like your freedom.” My heart skipped a beat waiting for him to dispute what I’d said.

  “Yo, I ain’t saying we gonna kick it like that, but I’d feel better if you were out from under dude. I mean, he’s all up in your Kool-Aid trying to know the flavor and shit.”

  “Oh, so you just want me over there to make sure he ain’t drinkin’ none of my juice?”

  “Don’t make it no more than what it is. You can sleep in the guest room until you get on your feet again.”

  “What do I tell Kelvin?” I said.

  “I don’t give a flying fuck what you tell that motherfucker.”

  If I was thinking, I would have stayed my black ass at Kelvin’s. I followed my dick and packed my shit.

  * * *

  Jamie was not home when I came in from work. I waited over an hour before he rolled up. Things wouldn’t have been so bad if he was alone, but he had some other dude with him. From the looks of it, they had been getting their drink on. The bitch in me was fighting to get out, but I refused to let him see how this affected me. I swallowed my pride like I’d done every other time he’d brought company home.

  Jamie said, “Yo, Randy, this is Tim.”

  Not trusting myself to speak, I just stood there looking at them.

  Jamie threw up the peace sign as he went in the kitchen, his friend trailing close behind him. I went to my room and shut the door. I vowed to have a long talk with Jamie in the morning. I don’t know why he kept dogging me out. Couldn’t he tell I had feelings for him?

  My day would have ended perfect if Jamie wasn’t in the other room entertaining someone other than me. I felt stupid just being there. If I knew someone one I could have called, I would’ve been entertaining, too. I’d yet to build up a black book, and I wasn’t the type to pick up strays off the street.