by Ella Brooke
"The dollhouse I bought you? Don't worry about that, I'll just get you another to keep here as well. Annabel, I wanted to talk to you about perhaps going out tonight..."
Annabel wasn't listening to him because she was watching her daughter instead.
Marissa was as smart as a whip; nearly every adult who had had anything to deal with her said so. She could make connections very quickly, and Annabel could see her making one now. She realized from the way that Adil was speaking, the dollhouse, a thing that was precious and perfect to her, was completely unimportant to him, and that stung. Annabel, as an adult, would take it one farther. From a person who was not a sheikh, who did not rule a country and who was not fabulously wealthy, the dollhouse would have been a well-considered gift, one that required time and thought and effort. For Adil though, it was no different from picking up a rose from a street vendor to bring home.
Marissa didn't know all of that, of course. All she knew was that she had been brushed off as if she didn't matter, and that the man she had thought was going to fix it all for her was ignoring her. Her entire face trembled like a bowl full of jelly, and her mouth opened in a wail.
Adil looked shocked at the noise that Marissa made, and he drew back slightly.
"What the hell..."
"I want my dollhouse," Marissa sobbed. "The people are going to be lonely if we just leave them there and... and..."
"Marissa, be quiet..." Adil snapped, but his harsh tone only made her wail louder.
Tantrums were part of childhood, and they were part of parenthood as well, and apparently Adil did not understand this. Instead of comforting Marissa, he turned a baffled gaze to Annabel.
"What in the world did I do?" he asked. "Can't you make her quiet?"
Annabel's sympathy for Adil being startled with Marissa's strange request as soon as he walked into the door evaporated, and she glared at him. The power of her glare must have startled him because he took a step back. She couldn't be worried about him right now. Instead, she turned to her daughter.
"Marissa, listen to me, we're going to take a few deep breaths, all right?"
Marissa's wail tapered off, and hiccuping slightly, she did as her mother requested. She breathed with Annabel for a moment, and when she looked a little calmer, Annabel offered her her hand.
"Why don't we go do something a little quieter for a while?" she said, and Marissa looked up at her beseechingly. Her tear stained and confused face made Annabel even angrier, but she hid it as best she could.
"But my dollhouse...?"
"That is something to be discussed later," she said firmly, "but I promise you that we will figure something out. Now come on, pumpkin. You can choose which book to read."
Twenty minutes later, Marissa was settled down in her room reading. She was calm, and if not happy, then at least quiet and thinking about things rather than hysterical. It seemed as if Annabel was going in the other direction, however, and after making sure that her daughter would be all right, she stalked out to the living room.
Adil was waiting for her, hands clasped behind his back as he gazed out the window.
"What the hell was all that?"
"That was a frazzled little girl who ran to someone she trusted and got brushed off as if she didn't matter," Annabel said, keeping her voice low. "What were you thinking?"
Adil reared back as if she had slapped him.
"I didn't say she didn't matter," he said, glaring down at her. "I had no idea what was going on, and what does it matter any way? She wanted a dollhouse, and I told her I would get her another one. That should have been the end of the matter."
Annabel could have pulled her hair out in frustration.
"No," she said, "that is not the end of the matter. She presented you with something she felt was important. You told her that it didn't matter, and that you could just replace it. You know what happens when people realize that you don't care about the things you get them? They start to think that you don't care about them."
Adil frowned down at her.
"That's ridiculous. One dollhouse or the other, it's all the same, isn't it?"
"Not to her, obviously,"Annabel snapped. "And if that's the attitude you are going to take about it, if you are going to cling to that even in the face of it not working that way for someone you are meant to care about, that is very very bad news."
"I still don't understand what it is she is so angry about, and at this point, I don't even know why you are so angry either," he growled.
He ran all ten fingers through his hair, shaking his head.
"Look, I have had a long day. Why don't we arrange for a sitter, and then you and I can go out, talk, perhaps forget all of this ever happened..."
Annabel was not a woman who was given to anger, but now she could feel it bubbling up underneath her skin. She had to stop herself from shouting, more because it would have frightened and confused Marissa badly.
"No!" she said, and she substituted force for volume. It must have been effective, because Adil took a step back.
"No. I am not going out with you. I am... not."
Adil stared at her for a moment, and she saw a dozen emotions flicker over his face. She saw hurt and confusion, but then his expression settled on anger.
"You are behaving as a foolish and over-sentimental woman," he said coldly. "There is nothing the matter here, only a little girl who made a dramatic request and then who could not deal with a solution."
Annabel wanted to tell him that it was so much more than that, but she found that he was already turning away from her. To her shock, he simply picked up his jacket, and walked out the door, slamming it so loudly that the thunder echoed through the apartment. The sound brought Marissa running, and she ran straight to her mother, grabbing on to her shirt.
"Mama, Mama, what's going on?" she asked, her voice small and fearful.
For a moment, Annabel's heart wanted to break for the fear in her daughter's voice. Then she straightened up, and when she spoke, there was a deep resolve there.
"We are... going on a little trip, that's all," she said, and she walked towards the bedroom.
***
There were a dozen places for Adil to go, a thousand, but instead of going to a place where he would be welcomed with shouts and draped with women who would of course agree that Annabel was being unreasonable, Adil ended up at his office at the Parliament building instead. It had a gorgeous view of the city, and he simply stood there in the dark, breathing.
In his mind's eye, he could still see Annabel's accusing gaze, and he could still hear Marissa's anguished wail. He wanted very badly to stick with the idea that he was right, but the farther he got away from the situation, the more clear it became that he was far from blameless.
It had been an irritating day. He knew that, and he knew that his nerves were jangled from some of it. In the past, when he had returned to the hacienda, he could always count on Annabel and Marissa waiting for him and for them to soothe the unevenness of the day from his brow.
He hadn't realized that the transition would be so difficult for him, and Adil finally understood with growing guilt that though traveling from the desert to the city was very much second nature to him by this point, it was still a foreign and frustrating thing for them. Annabel was an adult and could cope, but the pressures on Marissa, who had not even been to school yet and who had already moved once, had to have been high.
He thought of the dollhouse, and his guilt intensified even more. Annabel was right, he realized. He had bought the toy on a whim, and he had wanted to delight Marissa. He had not realized how attached to it she had become, and he had certainly not seen that she might need something stable in her life after all of the turmoil that had come before. The guilt of it all threatened to crush him, and then he straightened.
Dealing with people he cared about (and it was beginning to occur to him that he did more than care about Marissa and Annabel, should be the same as dealing with the professional needs of his life
. He had done something wrong. He would be honest, he would apologize, he would tell them it would never happen again, and then they would move forward.
Adil glanced at his watch. It had been a few hours since he had left the penthouse. He could make it back across town before Marissa went to sleep, and perhaps she would forgive him. Then he could speak more seriously with Annabel and make his apologies to her as well. One of the reasons why he wanted her as much as he did was because she was a good mother, and he should have remembered that.
His spirits were still low but rising when he left his office, and he made it through traffic in good time, at least.
Then Adil entered the penthouse and a cold chill went up his spine. It was dim, but it could be dim when people were in the bedrooms. It was more than dim, however. There was something distinctly unoccupied about it, and as he went from room to room, he realized utterly and completely that he was alone.
They had left him.
Chapter Seventeen
Everything about the airport was too bright. Marissa's hand clasped in hers was warm and sticky, and Annabel hung on to it tightly, terrified of what might happen if she lost her daughter in a place where only half the people shared a language with her.
She had a few phrases in Arabic, but many of the airline workers spoke English. Getting a flight to La Guardia did not seem to be a problem, and even though it wouldn't take off for another few hours, Annabel was pleased to have it in her purse.
Once she had the ticket taken care of, she was able to tend to her daughter. Marissa's eyes were wide and afraid, and she stood as close to her mother as she could. She shyly looked away from children who wanted to play with her, and shook her head when Marissa offered her a treat.
"Mama," she said finally, "Why are we leaving? What about Adil? He'll be lonely without us."
Annabel thought for a moment, stroking Marissa's hair gently.
"Sometimes adults need a break to get some perspective," she said. "Sometimes we realize that people we like very much can be hard on us, and we need to think about what that means. It is not easy, but its what we do to make others happy and to keep ourselves happy and safe as well."
"I don't understand," Marissa said, but there was no fierceness in it, only a sad resignation. "I love Adil."
Her words caught in Annabel's throat, and for a second, she was afraid that she was going to cry.
"I love him too, sweetie..."
"Then why the hell are you leaving?"
Her head shot up and standing next to her was Adil, still wearing the rumpled suit from work and eyes fierce.
"Adil-!"
"What the hell are you two doing here? I left you in the penthouse, and when I come back you're gone?"
Annabel could feel her leashed temper snap, and she leaped to her feet, Marissa's hand still held in hers."
"You didn't leave us in the apartment, you stormed out after we had a fight," she hissed. "You left us! Do you think that that is what a good man does to the people who care about him? I= The things you said, is that what a good man who wants to be a father says?"
Adil fell back, his face pale, but Annabel followed him, eyes burning.
"You say that you want me to bear your child, and the first time that being a father becomes difficult, you do this..."
"Mama, mama, stop, it's Adil, he's not mean! Don't yell at him!"
Annabel looked down to comfort her daughter, but then all of a sudden, it was simply too much. The world swam, and then in a rush of pulsing lights, her vision went black.
***
She was aware of flashes. She heard shouting, and then there was a feeling of fast movement, two hands holding on to hers and a feeling f warmth and discomfort.
Annabel blinked, and somehow, despite her last real memory taking place in the airport, she was in a hospital bed. Before she could think to move or to cry out, she heard voices.
"But will she be all right?"
"Of course she will Marissa," said Adil softly. "She's your Mama, and she's one of the strongest people I know. She's not afraid to tell a sheikh when he has been wrong, and this will not hurt her. The nurse says she will wake up soon."
"I hope so. I already miss her."
"Me too," Adil said with a soft chuckle, and Annabel turned to look at them. Marissa was cuddled in Adil's lap, her arms around his neck trustingly, and when she saw her mother, she shouted with glee.
Annabel hugged her hard, telling her that everything would be okay, she was fine and that everything was good.
After a short while, a young woman with a child care badge showed up, offering to take Marissa to the play area, and then Adil and Annabel were alone. Annabel expected to see confusion and perhaps even anger in Adil's face, but his expression was carefully schooled, and she could read nothing from him.
"The doctors said that you had some blood pressure issues from your pregnancy," Adil said, his voice so level that she winced. "Nothing serious, nothing that cannot be controlled with medication and regular doctor's visits. You will be cleared to leave the hospital in the morning."
"Oh, that's good," she said, aware of how inane it sounded.
"It is."
The pause between them stretched out, and Annabel wondered how to begin. Then Adil spoke.
"Did you know?" he asked at last. "That you were pregnant?"
"Last night I took a test, and it was positive," she said softly. Her heart ached. After all of the pain of the last forty-eight hours, she thought that she could finally see more clearly now, and she wanted nothing more than to reach for Adil. She kept her hands folded in her lap.
"I am going to give you the rest of the money that I said you would receive," he said, and she gasped, her eyes opened wide.
"Adil! Why?"
"Because you deserve it. I brought you here... Annabel, I brought you here under the auspice of giving me an heir, but I wasn't even being truthful with myself. I want an heir, but I wanted you more."
His words struck her like blows, but she could only watch him mutely. Her heart was beating faster and faster, and she needed him in a way she couldn't even explain.
"I wanted you so much that I brought you all the way to a foreign country, you and your daughter both, and then I thought that everything was fine. I told myself it was, and I could not see the stress that I was putting on you."
He took a deep breath, and when he looked at her, there was something so painful in her eyes that she gasped.
"You were right," he said. "I am not fit to be a father, not now, and I thought that you being a good mother was enough. I am so sorry. While you were asleep, I apologized to Marissa, and she was good enough to accept my apology. I can't ask for more than that."
"I want you, and I love you, and I want to do the right thing for you, so I am letting you go..."
Annabel finally found her voice.
"Adil, come here, please."
Like a man lost, he came to stand by her beside, and she took his hand in hers.
"Adil, fatherhood isn't something that you just have conferred upon you. It's something that you earn, through hand-holding, through being there when you are needed, through love."
She took a deep breath.
"As far as I am concerned, you have started to earn it."
He looked at her, eyes wide.
"I love you," she said, her voice shaking. "I have for a long time now, but I was afraid that you only wanted me for the child I could give you. I was afraid that you would be a bad father to that child, and I could not tolerate that, not in a million years. But Adil, I promise you, it is a process. You will learn, you will grow, and if you truly want to be, I know that you can be an amazing father."
"I want to be a father, and I want to be your husband," he said, and Annabel stared at him.
"I can't be the sheikha of Sakhi..."
"You can," he said fiercely. "The sheikha is who I marry, and damn the conventions about her being noble. I am the sheikh, and my will is law in this matter
at least."
He looked down at her, taking her hand in his.
"Marry me," Adil said urgently. "Become the wife I need to rule this land well, and be the mother to my children. Marry me so that I can be a father to the child that you carry within you and to Marissa, who I already love so much I cannot stand.
"Annabel, I need you and love you in ways that go beyond anything that I have ever experienced before. Say you love me as well. Say that you will marry me."
Annabel could feel a deep warmth open up inside her, and she struggled to sit up in the bed. Adil folded her into an embrace that she knew would last a lifetime, and she started to laugh even as her eyes filled with tears.
"Yes," she whispered, "Oh yes, I love you, I love you, and I want you, and I will marry you. We will be a family, and we will love each other very much!"
Epilogue
Annabel started to ask why her husband was peering through a crack into the nursery when he spotted her and put a finger to his lips. Curious, she came closer, and then she could hear Marissa talking.
"And then Mama saw that Papa was in trouble and she ran down the stairs with a snow shovel. POW! She smashed one, and then the other, and when she saved him, Papa knew right away that she was in love with her, so he took me and Mama to Sakhi, where we lived in the hacienda for a while. You two will get to see the hacienda when you are older I guess, but I bet you'll really love it too!"
Annabel could see through the crack in the door that big sister Marissa was telling the story to her two one-year-old brothers. At this age, they simply peered up at her, waving their chubby arms with delight, and with a slight smile, Adil closed the door.
It struck Annabel all over again how much calmer he looked now, and how happy. There were still traces of the arrogant man who had knocked all of her papers out of her hands, but they had softened to a mischief and liveliness that she adored.
"Was that really how it happened?" he asked, a light and teasing smile on his face.
