After the assistant principal dismissed us for the day, the school filed out of the gym. Daniel, Tabitha, and Hailey stayed by my side like the world’s geekiest and most loyal entourage, and they walked with me out to my car where I thanked them and promised to text them all when I had an update.
Texting suddenly reminded me of my phone. In a rush, I threw my stuff in the passenger seat and tried to weave my way out of the parking lot before the traffic got too ridiculous. I was suddenly in a rush to read the notifications I so easily ignored for four days.
When I got home, I sprinted up the stairs to my room. My phone was still a lifeless brick somewhere on the floor, but since spending the last 72 hours as a miserable slob, it took some tossing and cursing to find it. Immediately, I jammed the charger into the port and stared at it like it would somehow not take a millenium for the screen to light up.
“So…” My sister’s voice chimed from the doorway. “Facebook just gets weirder and weirder.”
I could only assume Lucy’s little act had been recorded, maybe even live streamed. There was no doubt my sister got her hands on the video already.
“Can’t argue with you there,” I answered, still kneeling over my phone like it was on life support...which it kind of was.
“I’ll hand it to her...she’s crazy.”
I laughed. Lucy was crazy.
“What are you going to do?” Sam asked as she plopped down on my bed next to an empty donut wrapper, which she picked up and stared at me like I’d lost my mind.
All I could focus on was that question. What was I going to do? It wasn’t like that cringe-worthy stunt changed anything. If I wanted to hear her apology, I would have answered my texts. But that wasn’t it. There had to be something else keeping me from talking to her.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I do believe her. If Trevor really had access to her passwords, I don’t doubt he did it.”
“So...what’s the problem?”
“I guess I was just—”
Suddenly, a bright light illuminated my dim room. Like the little beeps on a heart monitor, my phone showed signs of life. I quickly punched in my code and the home screen popped up; it looked like it had the chickenpox. Red dots covered every one of my apps.
The first place I looked was my texts. Most were from Lucy with a few from Gray and the rest of the Key Club. Hers were the only ones I read.
They were all more of the same stuff she said today.
I would never hurt you.
Please talk to me.
I miss you.
I can’t lose you.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. A wave of guilt rolled over me as I scrolled through what seemed like a jam-packed captain’s log of grief. She started in desperation and ended in despair.
Why couldn’t I just listen to her? What kind of boyfriend would I be if I shut down every time a problem arose? With as much as I had been hurting this week, it was clear she was suffering just as much.
There was no way she posted those pics. No way. Not my Lucy. So if I had known that, even in some small way, then why did I run away?
“Simon…” my sister said, pulling me away from the scroll of messages.
“I was insecure,” I said, finally finishing my statement from earlier. “Having Lucy for a girlfriend terrified me, and it was easier for me to run and hide than to face the risk of being truly vulnerable.”
It was a major duh moment as I stared down at our picture on my lock screen. Her blonde hair blowing over me as she held my face aggressively against hers.
“Well...obviously,” Sam answered. “I never liked her much, but you knew that. And the only reason I didn’t like her, Simon, was because I could see the way you worshipped her, like you thought she was better than you. But then I saw this video…” She held up her phone, Lucy’s image in the bald cap paused on the screen. “This girl is a freak for you.”
I laughed, letting my vision blur with the moisture in my eyes. A little from laughing, but mostly from remembering the look on Lucy’s face as she begged for forgiveness.
“And I think you’re right. You were just insecure, which is just so stupid!” She smacked me across the shoulder. “So, stop talking to me and go tell her!” Her shrieking voice was in my ear as she pushed me off the bed.
“Fine, fine!” Seemingly without a choice, I pulled my phone from the charger and ran toward the door. Before leaving, I turned back to my sister. “You’re so wise now,” I teased. “Thanks.”
“You’re such a nerd!” Her taunting voice carried through the house as I bound down the stairs and out the front door. I had no idea where I would find Lucy at the moment, but I had a few good ideas where to look.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lucy
I thought maybe after the assembly there would be a text from Simon, but when I pulled my phone from my pocket to check, it was still twenty-eight texts sent, none read. Addy slipped her arm around my shoulder.
“Still nothing?”
“Nothing,” I murmured.
“We aren’t suspended,” said Nora, trying to make the best of a bad situation.
“Not suspended, just stuck in after-school detention for a week,” said Max. “I think I would rather be suspended.”
“It can’t be that bad,” said Nora.
Max laughed, “You girls have never been to detention, have you?”
Addy frowned, “Not true. I definitely had to go once.”
“Oh yeah? For what?”
“Repeated tardiness,” said Addy.
Max shook his head. “A real rebel my sister.”
I usually loved being with the three of them, especially when Max and Addy were bickering, but today, I’d had about as much comedy as I could take. For a moment during our little performance, Simon and I locked eyes, and I thought for sure he had forgiven me. I thought we could be the same Lucy and Simon we were in D.C.
“Thanks for helping with the skit, but I think I would like to be alone for a while.”
The group nodded sympathetically. Max and Addy had both recently been through tough breakups, and Nora may not have had her heart broken yet, but she’d counseled Addy and I enough times to know it was better to let me go than try to talk me out of it. I pulled all three in for a hug before hopping in my car and heading for the refuge.
I could have gone home, but then I would have had to face my mother. There was no way she wasn’t going to ask how the assembly went. Not after last night when I broke down and told her the whole story over a pint of rocky road and a whole lot of tears.
I recognized the Owl Lady’s truck when I pulled into the parking lot. She stepped out of the modular to greet me, her favorite eagle perched on her gloved hand.
“Back from the big city, eh?”
I smiled. Who would have thought I would be so happy to see her?
“We got back on New Year’s Day,” I said, following her inside.
“And,” she said, looking at me like there should be more to the story.
“And it was nice. There was a rooftop party,” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. That party felt like decades ago. Everything had changed, and it had only been a few days.
“When I was younger, I went to a few parties like that.”
I smiled, trying to picture Thelma young. I’d only ever seen her in dirty jeans and thick flannels.
“Whose roof?” I asked.
“Oh, no roof,” she said with a smirk, “I just meant I’d kissed a few boys at midnight, as well.”
I blushed, a dead giveaway that she was right on target.
“Where is he anyway?”
“Simon?”
“Yes, Simon,” she said placing the eagle on the perch at her desk. “Unless you’re stupider than I thought, and you wasted that New Year’s Eve kiss on someone else.”
I avoided making eye contact with her, choosing instead to focus on the framed photographs of rehabilitated birds that lined the modu
le’s walls. I hadn’t wasted any kisses. Every one of them had been perfect and memorable in its own way. It was our future that I had wasted.
“I’ve been thinking,” she began, after the silence between us stretched too long to be excusable. “I could use some extra help around here this summer. I usually carry two interns. It’s competitive. Kids like you apply from all over the US.”
I turned to face her. Why wouldn’t I want to do that? I started volunteering here as a way to earn my D.C. hours, but it wasn’t a chore anymore. I knew most of the birds by name and even the surliest ones were growing on me. I was about to tell her yes when she continued with, “I’d need the both of you here three to four days a week. Not just Saturdays.”
My face fell. There was no both of us, not anymore.
“I’d love to, but I doubt Simon would be interested in joining.”
Thelma cocked one eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“It’s a long story,” I said, a frustrated sigh escaping my lips.
“Good,” said Thelma, grabbing a folding chair from against the wall and opening it in front of her desk. “Sit down and tell it. It’s too late to feed the birds, and I’m tired of freezing my tookus off anyway.”
I had come to the refuge in an effort to avoid thinking about Simon, but I guess I wasn’t getting off the hook that easily.
It took a solid twenty minutes to tell Thelma our story. I started with Simon’s Dad’s business, the fire, the rebuild, and I kept going, through the middle school dance, the bad thing I did, the bad thing Trevor did, even our Three Stooges skit. When I was finished, Thelma was staring at me like I’d sprouted a third eye mid conversation.
She pulled a jar of Nutella out from her desk, along with a plastic spoon. After one heaping spoonful, she made a satisfied “Ahh” sound, as if she had just taken a swig of whiskey and not nut butter.
She leveled her eyes with mine, and I prepared for her to give me some tough love.
Instead, she wrinkled her nose up in confusion. “What the heck is fan-fiction?”
Simon
Turning into the refuge, my heart started beating its way out of my chest as I spotted her car parked in the small dirt lot. There was no turning back now.
When I stepped out of the SUV, I did not expect to hear laughter, but that was the sound that was wafting out of the small modular office. When I peeked my head in, I noticed Lucy and Thelma hovering around a jar of Nutella with spoons in their hands.
I froze when I heard my name and slowly backed away unnoticed.
“Well, if you ask me, that Simon boy would have forgiven you, even without all of the theatrics.”
“Not likely,” Lucy answered. “He wouldn’t even look me in the eye or answer one of my two dozen plus texts.”
“Well, did you consider that maybe he was more embarrassed than mad? Sometimes boys just need swift kicks in the behinds. They don’t process the emotional stuff so well.”
I winced. Guilty as charged, I thought.
“So what do I do now?” Lucy asked. I heard the Owl Lady get up from her folding chair and walk around the small room. “I’ll put on as many stupid skits as I need to.”
“Oh, you won’t have to,” the woman answered.
“Why’s that?”
I stood breathless on the shallow ramp leading up to the door. The sun was setting, leaving me in dim late afternoon light.
“Because he’s standing right outside.”
My heart stopped, and the room fell completely silent.
“Do me a favor and tell him about the summer internship, please,” she continued. “I’ll be out on the grounds, locking up the pens for the night.” A moment later, the woman walked out of the trailer, gave me a quick, casual greeting and walked around the building toward the bird’s enclosures. She left Lucy and I completely alone.
I figured it was up to me to make the first step toward the room. Turning around and getting in my car would have been a very cowardly thing to do, I reminded myself. So I stepped into the room and Lucy stared toward the door, biting her lip and fiddling with her hair.
I was struck with the memory of the first time she walked into the Key Club meeting, fumbling in and faced with me. It was too easy for us to bury our feelings and ignore our anger. If I didn’t do something now, another two years would fly by. Or maybe more. I was still upset about the post, but not upset enough to risk never holding her in my arms again.
“Hi,” I mumbled as I stepped in from the cold.
“Simon,” she blurted out as she stood up. It was clear she was eager to speak.
“Don’t.” I put up a hand to stop her, and her eyes went wide. I needed to say my piece before her, but I could tell she saw that as a sign I was still angry. “I don’t need you to apologize again, Lucy. Or explain yourself or whatever it is you want to say.”
Her lip trembled as she fought for a chance to speak.
Before she could, I continued. “Thelma was right. I was embarrassed, and I don’t always have the guts to speak from the heart, but I know you didn’t post that picture.”
She took a deep inhale, practically shaking with the words she wanted to say.
Again I cut her off, taking another step closer to her. “For so long, I thought I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, and if one bad thing happened between us, I would be the first to bail because I was afraid of getting my heart broken.”
She shook her head. “Simon, that’s crazy…”
“I know,” I replied. I stepped closer, and she hesitantly reached her hands out for me. I answered by grasping her fingers in mine. I watched her shoulders practically melt as I squeezed her hands. “When I saw your terrible Curly impression today, I realized something.”
She bit her lip and tried to hide her embarrassed expression. “What?”
“Lucy Caldwell,” I breathed, pulling her a little closer. “You are such a nerd.”
A cute cackle escaped her lips. Her eyes didn’t leave mine as I pulled her so close our bodies touched, and I could feel her heart beating against my chest.
“You don’t hate me?” she whispered.
“I could never hate you.”
She smiled before resting her cheek against my collarbone.
“That performance was really bad though,” I teased. “I swear we will never fight again if you’re going to do that every time we do.”
“Well if you don’t answer my texts, then you leave me no choice. Next time, it’ll be worse. I’m sure I could talk Nora and Addy into being Ghostbusters with me.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” I growled as she stared up at me. My heart picked up its pace as she leaned closer and waited for me to close the distance. When I pressed my lips against hers, it felt like feeling the sun on my skin after seven days underground. Being with Lucy was the most normal, natural thing I could do. We were meant to live in the sun.
After a moment of our quiet lip-lock, Thelma came stomping up the ramp and into the office.
“Alright, that’s enough of that. I run a bird sanctuary here, not a kissing booth. Take that saliva swapping somewhere else.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I muttered as Lucy died of laughing, hiding her face against my jacket.
“I don’t suppose you told him about the internship yet,” she added.
Lucy couldn’t even answer.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Tell him later. Oh and hey,” she called to us. We turned in unison. “That owl you brought in is ready for release. The sooner we let him go, the better. If you’re free tomorrow, I think that would be best.”
I glanced at Lucy as her face fell. But only for a moment because she squared her shoulders and took my hand. “We’ll be here,” she said.
Glancing down at her, I smiled. We were going to do the tough stuff together. That was the deal.
Epilogue
Lucy
I couldn’t stop kissing Simon Hawkins. And why should I? He had spent years believing that the two of us were m
ismatched. The nerd and the blonde could never be a couple, or so he had convinced himself. But now that we were official, I felt it was my personal duty to keep him fully stocked in lip-to-lip action. So much so that Thelma had to reprimand us for inappropriate use of the walk-in freezer.
“I was rooting for you two to get together, but now I’m wondering if that was the wrong way to go. I can’t have my interns using the bird enclosures as handsy time,” said Thelma.
My face turned ten shades of scarlet. “Sorry. It won’t be a problem.”
“I’ll be totally and completely sick of her by June, anyway.” said Simon, giving me the side eye through his thick-framed glasses. “I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Thelma. She was dragging a small dog kennel from the back of the exam room. “We’ll see soon enough.”
Noting her struggle, Simon grabbed the box from her hands and carried it out into the cold afternoon air. The three of us trudged across the refuge property, leaving footprints six inches deep in the snow. What had started as an unseasonably warm winter in Delinki was well on its way to your standard below zero Minnesota weather. Even without Key Club hours to maintain, Simon and I would be spending a lot of time at the refuge. There was no way Thelma could keep the snow off the roofs of the enclosures herself. Not when she could barely carry a two-and-a-half pound bird in a kennel.
Thelma led the way to the far end of the property, past all of the refuge’s permanent residents and those here just to rehabilitate. When we got to the place Thelma had marked for release, there was nothing surrounding us but the platforms used to feed the birds that were still practicing their hunting skills. I watched as a hawk swooped down from the sky, picked up a dead rodent and soared away into the trees.
In preparation for today I had watched some YouTube videos on releasing birds. In the videos, wildlife experts wore heavy leather gloves, the same kind that Thelma always put on when she worked with the raptors. I expected her to pull a pair from her back pocket and direct me how to hold the bird just right so that it would take flight from my hands. I pictured Simon standing behind me, my hair whipping in the wind as I released a majestic bird into the falling snow.
Nerdy by New Year Page 15
