The Shadow Constant

by AJ Scudiere

  Ivy nodded at him sympathetically, but she glanced to Kayla, whose whole posture visibly tightened, and she continued. “We just can’t.” She made her voice seem so sad about it, “Some of the structures haven’t even been tested for soundness.”

  That was a bald-faced lie. Ivy knew they’d done that first thing. Braced some roof lines and shored up the icehouse where the earth was bulging behind the old walls. But finally the man stepped back.

  “I understand. Thank you though.” He took a last sweeping look around, not that he could see much from where they all stood in between the main house and the outbuildings.

  Reenie pulled her arm away from Ivy’s touch and put her smile on again. “In four months we’ll open the doors.”

  “Looking forward to it.” With that, he turned and began the long walk down the drive.

  Silent, they all stood in their places, the women clearly listening for his footsteps. Moving as a unit, they peeked around the edge of the building, probably watching the man’s slow progress off the property. Evan took that as a cue that he could come out.

  No one said anything for another few minutes. Then—as the man passed between the low rock walls that marked the entrance to the property—Reenie turned on Kayla.

  “What was that?!” But she didn’t give anyone the chance to respond. “He was a potential customer! You were downright rude.”

  Ivy stepped up, and again Evan had a moment of shock that his sister’s protection no longer fell solely to him.

  “He obviously said something that upset Kayla.”

  “Exactly!” Kayla jumped to her own defense, and for a moment Evan envisioned them all as lions jumping on Reenie’s dead carcass. He stepped back, but Kayla stepped forward. “Where’s his car? He’s in a suit, but where’s his car?”

  “Jesus! He didn’t want to drive up the driveway, Kayla. Parking on the street and walking up someone’s driveway is not a suspicious activity.” Reenie’s jaw clenched tighter as she spoke.

  But Kayla didn’t cave. Instead she pointed behind her. She hadn’t looked, but she pointed. “Do you see him? Down by the stop light? He’s still walking. Where’s his car?”

  Evan was about to step in, when Reenie exploded. “He’s a neighbor! You were mean to someone we should be kind to!”

  Kayla shook her head. “He’s not a neighbor. He’s a liar.”

  “He lives on Docket! Right over there! How would you know that he doesn’t live there?!” Reenie turned to Evan now, furious. Speaking as though Kayla wasn’t there, she spat out, “Aspergers is not an excuse for bad behavior. You’ve let her get away with this for too long, and I won’t have her treating people like that on my property.”

  He staggered back as though she had slapped him and Reenie used the opportunity to stomp by. He felt the now empty lemonade glass nearly slip from his fingers. For a moment, the world spun. He did let Kay off the hook a lot, always telling himself it was the Aspergers. For the first time, he wondered if maybe he hadn’t gone a little too far, been a little too protective, spoiled her more than he should have.

  When he finally opened his eyes, he saw his sister staring at him, raw pain and simmering anger in her eyes. “She thinks I’m an idiot.”

  “She does not.” It just came out—a rote response intended to level a certain amount of peace between the two women. Peace that was never going to be there. Just the thought was a hot knife slicing through the deepest part of him.

  Kayla saw the remark for what it was. Saw that there wasn’t a single grain of truth to it. Saw that it was just a saying that had tumbled out of his mouth too many times in too many different directions. It was a band-aid on a canyon and so she turned to Ivy but didn’t try to hide the conversation.

  “Thank you for supporting me. That man shouldn’t have been here. He was trying to find something. But I don’t know what.”

  Ivy nodded and took Kayla’s hand. “I don’t know what you saw, but you saw it.” She shrugged, then turned to include Evan. “The legal issue is real.”

  He nodded, unable to form words.

  His sister kept talking to Ivy. He didn’t listen, just watched. From behind, Kayla’s long reddish-blond hair seemed animated as she spoke. It always did when she was passionate. Her free hand waved in the air and he heard her tones if not her words. She went on about something, assuming that everyone else wanted to hear all the details. When she was distracted, frustrated, angry, or overly happy, she forgot to monitor herself. Otherwise she counted sentences and stopped to let someone else speak. He knew this. He had taught her the technique at a young age.

  She’d gone over four. She wasn’t paying attention. Not to the fact that she was babbling. Not to the fact that his heart was breaking. Not to the fact that the gulf between her and Reenie had widened exponentially today. She was paying attention to Ivy, who still clutched her hand, who nodded and motioned for Kayla to go on for as many sentences as she wanted.

  Watching the two of them brought him a little back into the present and he began to hear Kayla’s still-heated words.

  “—and the lawns all get mowed at the same time. It was the first thing I noticed. All the houses have these small orange stickers on the front door. So I went up and read one. No one lives on Docket. All the houses were bought up by the government for a through road about two months ago.”

  6

  Old Office, Overseer’s House

  Kayla rolled over and tried not to ignore it, but the heated conversation from the other room was unavoidable. Laying her head on the pillow made every word become that much clearer. Though she knew that sound travels better, faster, through solids than air, that knowledge didn’t stop the argument from continuing like it was happening in her head.

  The worst part was that it was about her.

  Kayla didn’t particularly like or dislike Reenie. Well, that was wrong; she both liked and hated the woman, and not much in between. Sometimes Reenie was like an awesome big sister, and other times she expressed some pretty low opinions. Like now.

  “She’s handicapped, Evan. Handicapped! When are you going to get that through your head?”

  “She’s not handicapped. She just doesn’t think the way you and I do.”

  Bless her brother for defending her, but Kayla knew it was tearing apart his relationship, and he hadn’t had that many through the years. Maybe because of her.

  The sound traveled so well through the old house that she could even hear Reenie’s sigh, “Don’t give me this ‘non-neurotypical’ shit. It’s just as bad as ‘handicapable.’ She’s just not able to be anything else.”

  Kayla had to disagree with Reenie on the first. Having Aspergers was just a spot on the scale. And actually, she kinda liked it. But she had to agree that she was incapable of being otherwise.

  Reenie yelled again. “She can’t do what I do! She can’t understand the people around her. My mental capabilities span hers. That’s the definition of handicapped, Evan.”

  Lying there in her bed, wishing she wasn’t hearing this, Kayla gasped along with her brother. But he shouted back.

  “No, Reenie. You can’t do what she does. You don’t have her focus. You don’t have her dedication or her math abilities. That diagram would be lost without her skills. Skills that she gains because of the Aspergers. You can’t even balance your checkbook!”

  Kayla gave up. Standing, she looked around the room for a moment. She loved the symmetry of the double, glass-paned doors both to the hallway and the back porch, but she had to get out. In the moments it took to pull on jeans and a sweater, she was subjected to more of the fight.

  “I can learn to balance my checkbook—”

  “Clearly you can’t!” Kayla could just about picture Evan’s red face. “You said you wanted Kayla off ‘your property’ earlier today. Well it was your lack of skills that led to you needing her investments in the first place. Her money that she earned. You sure didn’t. And she—”

  “Don’t start that, Evan.”

/>   “No. You’re no better than anyone else. Certainly not her.”

  “You always choose her!”

  “No, I don’t. I chose you. I asked her to help out so you could save your family plantation—”

  “I should have gotten a loan. I’ll get one and buy her out.”

  “From where, Reenie? Who would loan you a penny with all your debt and bad credit? Kayla did. That’s who. And she gave it so you don’t have to repay it. So you can shut up.” He was breathing heavy.

  Kayla was grateful that it covered the sound of her turning the knob to the porch.

  Then she realized if she went out that way, she would leave their house unlocked. She couldn’t do that, not with that strange man around today. If he found a way into the house, it would be because Reenie welcomed the liar with open arms, but not because of Kayla. She would have to head down the hallway.

  Sadly, that made the sound of her brother’s marriage ending before it started even more clear.

  “We worked it so that Kayla only owned one quarter of the property and we could always outvote her. Well, surprise, Kayla and I together own five eighths and we can outvote you, Reenie.” Kayla cringed as she crept softly away, “I don’t want to. But I won’t have you acting like a bitch to my sister. She’s a good person. She may not think the way you do, but she has a good heart. Right now, yours looks pretty black to me.”

  Kayla heard the tears in his voice, the frustration, and she heard the knob to his room turn. There wasn’t time to move; she was obviously sneaking out, a pillow and blanket roughly tucked under one arm and hindering any speed she might have had. The wet tracks down Evan’s face weren’t a surprise.

  Though Kayla had always had a hard time understanding why, he loved Reenie.

  She mouthed the words to him, “I’m sorry.”

  At that moment, Reenie appeared behind him. Red-faced, her expression turned hard as she caught a glimpse of Kayla. There was nothing to do except explain. “I’m leaving. You guys won’t have to worry about me tonight.”

  “Where are you going to go?” Evan looked at her, checking out the bedding she carried. Clearly, she wasn’t headed to a hotel.

  “The big house.”

  He shook his head, “It’s cold.”

  “Ivy has a heater.” It had been Reenie yelling that Kayla was handicapped, but it was Evan acting like it. “I’m not stupid.”

  He sighed. “No, you’re abnormal. Abnormally smart. And I need to quit worrying about my little sister so much.”

  She shrugged. “Sometimes I forget to eat or I miss appointments. I know how it goes.” With a brief hug by way of the one arm she had free, she turned and headed out the front door.

  She could feel the lone key pressed into her pocket. The grass reached up and brushed at her bare ankles above where she’d shoved her feet straight into white Keds. Initially, she tried not to make noise as she came up the back porch, then realized that scaring the shit out of Ivy in the middle of the night wasn’t a good plan, either. So she didn’t avoid the creaks of the old porch, and she didn’t worry when the door moaned on its 200-year-old hinges.

  Then a smack of a door behind her preceded Evan gunning the engine on his small car. Turning, she spotted Reenie standing at the railing at the back of the Overseer’s House. For a moment, their eyes met and no love was lost. Giving up, Kayla headed into the house.

  It was colder than outside, the air sneaking around her feet and under the hem of her jeans. She could feel it at the small gap where her sweater didn’t quite meet the waistband on her pants. She was through the kitchen and halfway up the servants’ staircase, the steps worn to a smooth curve beneath her feet and countless others, when she heard Ivy’s voice at a harsh whisper, “Kay? Is that you?”

  “It’s me.” Then she wondered if Ivy was putting away her nine-millimeter gun right now. She could very well have pulled it out and thumbed off the safety if she was hearing footsteps inside the house at night. Kayla slowed just a bit and hoped Ivy got it put away before she arrived. She didn’t want to know.

  The door was open to Ivy’s room. The warm reception was as welcome as the knowledge that she was now on the far side of the house, away from the Overseer’s cottage. Ivy’s open curtains let in silver moonlight and a view of wide fields. There was a shimmer off the roof of the blacksmith’s shop, and she knew in the far back of the property, obscured by the shadows were the small slave cabins. Abandoned and having lost much of their insulation over the years, they lingered just out of sight, a testament to a time that was both much gentler and far crueler. For the first time, Kayla surveyed the property and thought, mine.

  “Reenie drive you out of your own house?”

  Kayla jumped. She’d known Ivy was standing behind her, but hadn’t expected the conversation. That was stupid; she’d showed up after midnight with a pillow and a comforter tucked under her arm and she owed Ivy an explanation.

  “What are those for?” Ivy pointed to Kayla’s furtively stripped bedding.

  “I was hoping I could sleep on your floor. This is the only temperature-controlled room in the whole house right now.” Kayla needed her own room. “Tomorrow, I’m going to buy my own AC and heater. I was thinking I’d set up next door if you’d be willing to share your bathroom with me.” Then she shrugged. “But I keep odd schedules, so maybe I should go to the opposite end of the house.”

  She didn’t leave an option for Ivy to claim the whole house. Kayla was part owner. And there was no telling how things would turn out after Evan and Reenie cooled down, but she wasn’t going to quit on the plantation. She was invested--literally. But she needn’t have worried about Ivy.

  “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. And you can sleep on the floor, but it’s cold—the room doesn’t hold heat all that well. The bed is plenty big and if you want you can share with me until you figure out what you want to do.”

  Kayla tilted her head. “You don’t mind?”

  Ivy laughed. “I don’t. I’ve been a stripper and a grad student. I keep odd schedules too.”

  That wasn’t what Kayla had meant when she asked if Ivy minded, but she nodded and pushed her comforter over the back of the chair in the corner. The room was beautiful, with thick, soft curtains pulled back by tassels lining the windows and framing the view. Gauzy drapes topped the four posters where the bed sat plush in the middle of the room and for just a moment she felt like a princess and wondered if she would feel a pea under the mattress.

  “You can’t wear those into bed.” Ivy stopped her, pointing at Kayla’s jeans. Down at the hem they’d gotten soaked, and Kayla could even see cut grass clinging tentatively to the material. She wouldn’t put that into Ivy’s fluffy bed, so she made a face and peeled them.

  A hand appeared in her view, holding out worn pajama pants and in a moment she was warm under the covers, Ivy sliding in on the other side of what must be a California king. Princess or not, she was upset, and the words tumbled out. “Reenie thinks I’m stupid.”

  She waited for Ivy to tell her it was wrong, that it was all a misinterpretation on Kayla’s part—lord knew she was capable of that.

  Rolling up on one side, her head propped in her hand, Ivy sighed. “Reenie can’t see past her own nose.”

  “No. She can’t.” Something settled in her chest. She wasn’t wrong and she hadn’t misinterpreted Reenie. Someone neurotypical—Ivy—agreed with her. “Reenie’s still so pissed that I was rude to the man before he lied. And Evan is defending me like he always does.” She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. It was a raw plaster, troweled on, sanded and painted by someone over a century ago. Others had lain here and stared at it, wondering what to do with their lives. It was oddly comforting. “I wish he wouldn’t do that. It’s destroying his relationship.”

  “You don’t want him to defend you?”

  Still not looking at Ivy, she followed the patterns in the trowel marks, noticing that the craftsman was right-handed, and she shrugged. “He l
oves Reenie. I think he would have married her before now if she and I could get along.”

  “That’s his choice.”

  This time Kayla looked at Ivy. “It is. I know that. But I also know that it’s a choice he wouldn’t have to make if I didn’t have Aspergers.” She held up her hand as the other woman started an ardent protest. “Or if I weren’t here.”

  There was a gasp, and Ivy was no longer leaning casually on her hand. She was sitting upright, looking down at Kayla. “You aren’t thinking about leaving are you?”

  “No. She pissed me off when she said that thing about ‘her property.’ It’s not really hers. Evan and I paid for all of it. She’s broke.” Shaking her head a little, Kayla sighed. “I’m not big enough to walk away from that. And I’m afraid that she thinks she’ll marry Evan and he’ll make all her money troubles go away.”

  Settling back into the covers, Ivy asked, “Are there real ‘troubles?’”

  “No. It’ll be fine. Reenie’s not bad, but she has no real savings and she’s got credit card bills to pay every month.”

  They were silent for a moment. She didn’t know what Ivy was thinking, but Kayla was deciding which room to take. Probably the one on the other side of the bathroom; Ivy already knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t going to read the hint that she should be somewhere else, that if Ivy said something, Kayla was going to take it at face value and follow through. She also should know that Kayla had a thick enough skin that if Ivy said she didn’t want to share the bathroom, Kayla wasn’t going to be offended or take it personally.

  She was finally taking deeper breaths, finally coming down off the high edge of her anger, when Ivy spoke again. “So what did you see that made you not trust that man right away?”

  Kayla only shrugged at first. When he walked up, she’d just known something didn’t fit right. And she told Ivy that. “It was his suit and his shoes.” She didn’t know how to say it. “Who would wear shoes like that to walk up a plantation drive or to try to get a walk-around tour?”