Tangled IN LIES (Book#3, IN YOU)

by Cassandra Night

  He strokes his jaw as he thinks about it. “I’ll let you in. I promise. I’m not keeping this from you to hurt you. It’s much more complicated than that.”

  I nod when he glances at me.

  “Be patient with me, okay? It’s been a while since I’ve trusted another living being with all my secrets.”

  I squeeze his leg, and my chest wants to burst with joy. He’s ready to work with me. And it has to be enough for now.

  “How about the Cades? What’s going on between you all?”

  “The Cades and me, we don’t get along. They’re powerful people, Cassandra. Their jaws are sharp, and when they bite you bleed.”

  The hair on my nape stands on end, and a million questions leap into my brain.

  “Have you worked with them in the past?”

  Mark shifts in his seat as if he’s uncomfortable to answer.

  “Mark, secrets and lies can destroy everything we try to build here,” I try to convince him.

  “Is there still a chance to build a future with you?” He casts his honey gaze to me and then diverts his attention to the road. “Secrets and lies surround us. People either keep you in the dark because they don’t want you to get hurt or deceive you to get what they want.”

  “Is this what you think about me too? I’m lying and weaving a web around you to get what I want?”

  “That’s how the world works. We do everything out of selfish pragmatism.”

  My chest becomes tight, and my mouth goes dry as his words dig deep into me.

  “Are we a convenient goal in the scheme of all things, Mark?” I gape at him as he exhales, watching the road but seeing something else. “What kind of web are you weaving around me to get what you want?”

  “Since I met you, I wanted to crawl inside of you and nestle inside the broken lines of your soul. I need all of you to be mine. That’s all.” He pauses. “We were an inevitable outcome. There was never a choice, not even the slightest chance not to fall for you, not for me . . .”

  My eyelids fill up with tears, hearing his admission, but I blink it away, not understanding my own feelings or even his. Mark’s fears are too real, and they shape his perception of the world. I don’t know if I want to live with his hostile shadows.

  We travel the rest of the way in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. My head spins with questions I’m afraid to ask. Did I have a choice not to fall for him? If I just kept away from Mark, if I never walked into that interview, I might have had a chance to protect my heart from him, to deny the pull and my own hunger to feel alive.

  “I don’t want anything from you,” I finally tell him.

  “Not even my soul or body?” he asks dryly. His lips tug in a taunting smirk. “You can’t say you haven’t used lies or deceived people to get what you want.”

  My heart falls as I realize he thinks I’m using his feelings against him.

  Fighting my emotions, I unfasten my seat belt to get out of the car once it stops. I did it in a way. I lived in a lie hiding from the tragic truth. I walked away from the car wreck, where my children and husband were trapped in. I was in shock. But that guilt is buried deep within my memories and is way too close to the surface to poke. Mark grasps my hand before I can climb out of the car.

  “Cassandra, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” But he did.

  The onslaught of emotions like a wave floods my chest, and I yank my hand from his grip and step out of the car, needing space to get my equilibrium back. A moment later, his door shuts, and he comes around to stand next to me. A silent mountain of muscles, sharp intelligence, and aching scars. Instead of meeting his gaze, I look at the darkening sky with the clouds grazing the sunny skylines.

  “Cassandra, look at me.” His hand cups my cheek, looking straight into my soul.

  A light touch to the jaw and a soft kiss to the temple are undoing me, and yet somehow fastening the rope tighter around my neck. My chest squeezes, reacting to his gentle caresses and husky tone that never fail to pull me in. I’m afraid if I let myself feel it, I will give in, and he might drown me.

  His mouth lowers to mine and connects us with the kiss full of apology and regret, but also desperation. It tastes sweet and warm, but it solves nothing, just lays a bridge. Either we take it, or it will crumble the moment that space extends.

  “I’m sorry . . . sometimes my demons are too loud to ignore. They poison my mind.” He looks away and swallows the lump, but then his clouded eyes return to mine, full of apology. “What I feel for you is making me question everything. It’s passionate, deep, powerful, and it’s terrifying. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

  “I’m also terrified to let you in and be vulnerable around the man I don’t know. I should have never let you get under my skin, but I did. You were the one who challenged me to take the leap of faith. But it’s your turn now to take yours.”

  “I know.”

  My chin shakes, and I bite my lip to stop it, needing him to understand.

  “I walked into Fading Ink needing a change. To take charge of my pathetic life and turn it into something else so my children would be proud of me.” Tears roll down my cheeks into salty rivulets. “And now, I’m probably throwing it away for a chance to be with you. You asked me to be brave. To take a chance. But it’s you who’s wary of doing the same. What are you afraid of, Mark? Why is everything you see deception?”

  He exhales, rubbing his face as if he wants to erase whatever he just said.

  “The people I came across had dark, warped motives behind their smiles and kind faces. Some of them got off on others’ pain or playing with their innocence. I guess I stopped believing in good, stopped seeing the light. It’s much easier if you appraise the threat of malice before it has a chance to seize you.”

  His hands cup my face, brushing away the tears. Those whiskey pools, full of liquid turbulence and fierce love but also shadows, capable of reaching the abyss within me. Even if it scares him to trust his heart, Mark’s lowering his shields to let me in. He’s willing to open his tortured soul for me to descend. I can’t help it, I want to heal him, I want to touch his dark and kiss those scars etched so deep in his being. But I’m afraid he might awaken my own demons, and this time, they might destroy me from within.

  My hand weaves into his hair, and I pull his face to mine until his hands fall to my waist, connecting us together. The vulnerable look on his face vibrates through me until I feel resonance deep within.

  “I won’t hurt you, Mark.”

  His eyes flick between mine, gauging my sincerity.

  “I won’t steal your dignity.” I kiss his parted lips and he groans as I linger. “Break your heart.” I feel robust thumps in my palm. “Or enslave your soul.” I pause, letting him see me too. “All I ever do is feed you with my passion you awakened and love your faults.”

  “Cassandra.” He swallows, and his head lowers to my neck, fighting his emotions as I hold him in my embrace. We both are jaded, our souls tattered and hearts broken, but we can fit our pieces together if we try.

  “Who are they? What have they done to you?” I whisper.

  “I can’t . . . not yet.”

  My heart aches, watching him struggle. What the hell did they do to him?

  “And the Cades? Have they ever deceived you?”

  His gaze snaps to mine as if he didn’t expect me to ask this.

  My mind races, thinking about his earlier reference. What did he mean by ‘they bite, you bleed’? “Don’t hide the truth from me, please.”

  “I’ll tell you one day, I promise, just . . .” He closes his eyes. “I need more time, okay?”

  I nod, curbing my need to know it now. The moment needs to be right. I have a feeling we both might need a safe place for this conversation. Maybe his home can give him comfort to open up to me.

  “Let’s go, show me your flat. I yet need to see it in the daylight.” I lick my lips as he strokes my jaw with his calloused fingers, watching me like I’m his salvation. “Bes
ides, I’m starving.”

  “I’ll cook something for you,” Mark offers, and I nod, letting him lead me to his sanctuary.

  I want him more than anything, but I don’t know if I can survive his demons, living in the grooves of his soul like shadows, consuming all the light. They’re violent and his heart’s full of mistrust. When it claws at you, it bleeds you raw.

  16

  Hunger

  ~Mark~

  She slays me.

  I’m undone, an open book for her to read and taste every emotion ever written. She disengaged the barriers I raised to protect myself, leaving an opening for her to slip inside. I just don’t believe our relationship is strong enough to withstand the earthquake. We need to build a stronger foundation to survive the truth and grow as a couple or even a family.

  “This is amazing,” she breathes out, walking farther into the room, looking like she belongs here. Her gaze skims over the knick-knacks, scattered on the shelves, and then stops to study photos. She picks up one with Rob, Lamar, and me. “When was this?”

  “After graduation. We were three idiots, believing we could take over the world.” And years later, we did. We created our own empire.

  “You look happy,” she remarks. Vanilla scent drifts to me as I come closer. “I love your man cave,” she adds, studying my bookshelf, and it makes my chest burn hot.

  “Glad to hear. We’re going to spend a lot of time here,” I vow to her.

  She twists her delicate neck to look at me over her shoulder. Her hair shines in the sunlight filtering through the windows and kissing her skin. The only reason I stay rooted to the spot is that I need to reassure her I won’t hurt her kids with my violent outbursts. So, instead, I go to start dinner, knowing I must win this woman’s trust before she willingly surrenders herself to me.

  “Want something to drink?” I hear her hum in agreement as she looks around.

  I decide to open the bottle of wine I picked up in France. This is something Logan and I shared. A taste for adventure and new experiences. He taught me how. Logan showed me there is more to this world than darkness.

  In the cupboards, I find glasses and pour us some to indulge with dinner. I want her to try something I’ve discovered traveling, to see the world through her eyes and taste this wine on her lips later.

  “Mm. That’s delicious.” She sips the wine, watching me dice the veggies.

  “It’s from France vineyards.”

  While I cook, she finds the plates and cutlery in the cupboards and sets the table for us two. And then she presses her curves into my back, shackling her hands around my chest. I feel whole. I don’t remember the last time I felt this level of comfort. But she makes me feel complete.

  When I pass her a plate of stir fry, I watch Cassandra’s mouth encircle the fork before she takes a seat at the table.

  “Do you like to travel? I know you do for work, but do you enjoy it?”

  “I always loved it. I guess I have an adventurous spirit that loves to find new things, learn from other cultures.” I chew on my food, watching her soak up every detail. “If I ever decide to steal you away, Mrs. Cade, where shall I take you?”

  “To a private island, where there’s no civilization, just the two of us.” Her eyes shine as she wraps her full lips around the fork and my cock strains against my pants, watching her chew.

  My chest expands with happiness, having her in my apartment, enjoying the food I made, and sharing a conversation with me. Her cheeks start to glow when she notices me staring.

  “I want to apologize for scaring you and Leon. I’ve never intended for any of you to witness that kind of behavior. But Lucas and I . . .” I pause, deciding to relinquish a small piece of the truth. “We grew up fighting, competing. Lucas pushed my buttons, and I responded.”

  She grabs her empty glass, and I fill it for her. She swirls the content before touching it to her lips. “You grew up together?” Cassandra watches me with this careful focus, observing my every facial expression, every move. God, I wish to give her everything, and in time I will. Just not yet. Not when we just started to get to know each other.

  “We went to the same school,” I clarify.

  My gaze lowers to the plate, and my heart squeezes in my chest. Logan’s brothers didn’t like me being this close to their triplet, especially when they weren’t. I was an unwanted burden.

  I clasp her hand in mine and look straight into her eyes, calling me like a sea. “I want you and your kids to feel safe with me. I know what it’s like to grow up in a violent environment. Believe me, it won’t happen again.”

  “You mean your foster parents?”

  I nod, holding my breath.

  “And your blood relatives, were they good to you?”

  “They haven’t abused me. They made sure I got an education, a roof over my head, clothed me, and helped me open my business.”

  But they never loved me.

  Logan was the only one I considered my brother. Everyone else watched me like I was a stray cat about to rip their throats out. I can’t blame them. I was feral, and life with them was challenging. Eventually, I learned to control my violent character and take charge of my responses. When you want to be treated with respect, you need to have the self-discipline to achieve it.

  “Were you loved?” She hits me with those three words straight in the chest, and deep longing blasts through me. When our gazes meet, the atmosphere electrifies, drawing me to her like a starved animal for connection.

  “No.”

  She bites her lip, and her eyes well up.

  “Do you want to be loved, Mark?”

  Something feral and hungry snaps inside of me as if it waited for this very question. The plates clatter as I toss my cutlery on the table and grab her waist, pulling her onto my lap.

  “Yes.”

  My mouth slams against hers and my heart wildly accelerates behind my ribcage as I take my fill of her unique taste.

  “Mark,” she moans as my greedy hands roam her body. It feels like I waited all eternity for her, until it became an unbearable ache, demanding to be filled.

  Those pale blue eyes look like aquamarine stones, full of passion swirling in their depths.

  “I’ll give you everything you want.” My voice sounds strange, guttural like animals holding prey in their paws, rumbling a warning. “But first, I need to get lost in you.” I’m desperate for her, but so is she for me.

  “Good,” she breathes out. “I want that too.”

  My hands slide down her tights, and she grips my shoulders for support like she needs an anchor. Grabbing the corner of her dress, I start to peel it off her body. My hands skim over her exposed skin while I slowly unwrap her delicious curves. All of her is mine.

  “I want you. Every secret. Every scar. Every drop of your pain.” I admire her strength, so perfectly aligned and tangled with her flaws. “And these lips.” I stroke the edge. “They drive me nuts.”

  “Then kiss me and make me yours, Mark, because all I have are flaws and scars so deep, they still bleed and ache.”

  I don’t deserve her. But I can’t deny her either.

  Her legs wrap around my waist as soon as I pick her up and carry her to my bedroom. When I lower her down to the hardwood floor, I stand back to take her in. She is a stunning miracle. A survivor just like me. Her story embedded in her skin like on canvas.

  “You are perfect to me in every way, Cassandra. There is no part of you I don’t want.”

  Her pale skin coats with goose bumps. Her nipples pebble under the bra into tight buds and my mouth waters. Watching her track my every move, I unfasten the zipper and push my jeans down my hips.

  She seals the gap between us and my hard as steel cock jerks, affected by her nearness. Her hand wraps around my length, and I let out a curse.

  “Oh, Bird, don’t tease me. My control’s hanging by a thread. When it snaps, you’re in trouble,” I groan a warning.

  My control’s already teetering on the edge. I�
�m no saint. I catch her around the waist, slapping her curvy behind, making her gasp.

  “This time, I won’t let you out of this room until you’re full of me and crave only me. Know only my name, falling like a chant from your lips.”

  “If you think you can,” she puffs, challenging me.

  “There is only one way to find out.”

  She chuckles and the sound, like an intoxicating resonance, vibrates through me.

  I push her on my bed, admiring her hair, glowing on my charcoal sheets, and her skin flaming from the mark my palm left. It makes me burn with satisfaction as she turns those heated eyes on me, promising a good fight. Perhaps I underestimated her. She clearly needs to know my strength before she gives in to my demands.

  “Are you on birth control?”

  “I am.”

  “Good.” I steal a kiss. “I’m also clean.” I bring the report from my side table. After her eyes skim over it, she passes it back to me. And I know after Logan’s death, she never took a lover to her bed even if her family tried to hook her up with other men.

  When I return, I ask, “Do you trust me, Cassandra?”

  She crooks her neck as she considers my question. “What do you mean? What do you have in mind?”

  Instead of answering, I want to see how she will react being at my mercy. I walk to the wardrobe and pull out the soft leather handcuffs. Fisting the chain in my hand, I turn around and walk deliberately slowly, letting her see it, think about it.

  But her heated eyes darken with anticipation. Interesting. As I walk closer to her, I get more excited to see if she is afraid or disturbed by it.

  “Do you want me to chain you, Mark?”

  I chuckle, leaning over to cup her face and look straight into her curious eyes.

  “It’s you who is going to be caught, bound, and at my mercy.” I’m about to straighten up, but she grabs my hard cock in her hand and squeezes. My eyes roll into my head, and I swallow a curse.

  “Are you sure? Why should I trust you? You don’t trust me with your secrets.” She challenges me, and I try to hide my smirk.