Deeper Illusions

by Jocoby, Annie

  I crossed my arms. There had to be a way that I could avoid being her guardian. But I knew that her parents had long since cut her off, and nobody else in her family would even talk to her. I was really her only family.

  “So,” I said. “Unless Alexis can get another high six figure job, which seems unlikely, considering what she did, she’s pretty much SOL.” I said that as a statement, not as a question, because I knew the answer to that.

  “Ryan, Alexis couldn’t make ends meet on $750,000 a year, even with your $10 million settlement. Unless she can get stabilized for good, I don’t know what to tell you.”

  I sighed. “Iris is not going to be happy about this.”

  “Why does she care? You could give your entire fortune to Alexis, and she’d be just as happy. One thing about her, she really could care less about your money.”

  “I know,” I said. “But she probably feels differently now that we have a daughter. A very special daughter who is going to need top schooling, which ain’t cheap.”

  “She was working at the Whole Foods when she had that kid. Trust, Iris isn’t going to care that you’re supporting your ex-wife.”

  “No, I can’t do it,” I said. “As you said, Alexis blew through $10 million in four years, while earning a salary between a half million and three-quarters of a million a year. She has nothing to show for it. If I have to support her, I’ll be broke in no time.”

  “I’m quite sure you won’t be broke. Hate to state the obvious, but your billionaire dad doesn’t have that much time left. Which means that you and Sarah will soon have money that you will literally never be able to spend in your lifetimes.”

  “My dad is in remission,” I said. “And I would appreciate it if you weren’t so callous in talking about him.”

  “This is the same dad you fucked you up, and was indirectly responsible for your drug problems and your suicide attempts, right? The same dad who was a child molester and a rapist? That dad?”

  “He’s changed,” I said.

  “Whatever. Anyhow, when he dies, you can support 100 Alexises. Not saying that’s what you should do. I’m just saying that you could do that if you wanted to.”

  “What choice do I have?” I asked. “I can’t just let her go down the rabbit hole. Of course, I’m going to have to set up a conservatorship for her. I can’t just let her have unlimited funds.”

  “Oh, Alexis on a budget,” he said. “That’ll be fun to see.”

  “You seem to be taking delight in all this.”

  He looked at me for a few minutes. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry, buddy. I shouldn’t be such an asshole about this. I guess I’m just jealous of you.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Your life is so together. You have your adorable genius, and a sweet wife you loves you for you, not your money. I have a crazy girlfriend, a rapacious soon-to-be-ex-wife, and two kids who are going to be turned against me by said soon-to-be-ex-wife. My life is a nightmare right now.”

  I sighed. “You know why I’m together,” I said.

  “I know. You met your soul mate.”

  “Well, yes,” I said. “But also because I’ve been in counseling for eight years. You should try it.”

  “You’re right. God knows I seem to need it.”

  “Come with me to meet Dr. Halder,” I said. “I see him every week.”

  Nick looked at his hands, which were on his lap. “Ok,” he said, without looking up. “I think I finally am admitting that I need help.”

  I smiled. “Hey, it could be worse,” I said, motioning silently to the sleeping Alexis.

  “True,” he said with a grin.

  The Alexis woke up. “Oh, god,” she said. “I was having a nightmare that I was broke and going into a mental hospital.”

  “Um,” I said. “That wasn’t a nightmare. Look around.”

  She looked around at her surroundings. Then looked at us. “Shit, that wasn’t a dream?”

  I just shook my head.

  She started crying, then she started wailing, pounding her fist on the arm of the chair. “What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? How am I going to live?”

  Nick looked at me, then motioned to her. I didn’t make a move towards her, so he whispered “you going to commit to taking care of her or not?”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t going to make a decision like that with a proverbial gun to my head. “Alexis,” I said. “You’ll find another job.”

  “No, I won’t!” she said. “I embezzled money from them, and they agreed not to press charges, because let’s just say that I know a little too much about some of their billing practices. But no other firm will touch me now. Plus, I stripped naked in a settlement conference for one of our largest clients. Trust me, I won’t find another job.”

  Then she put her head in her hands. “I might as well kill myself right now. I don’t have a way to live anymore. I don’t have a way to live.” Then she was wailing again.

  Nick looked at me, his eyebrows raised.

  I calculated in my head how much it would take to keep her in some kind of Alexis minimum standard. Would a quarter of a million a year do her? If the money was in a conservatorship? That would be about one-third her current salary.

  She’s just going to have to learn to budget like the rest of the world.

  “Alexis,” I said. “Uh, I’ll take care of you. We’ll get something worked out.”

  She raised her tear-streaked face to me. “You mean it?”

  “Yes,” I said, hoping that Iris wouldn’t get upset at me for committing to this without asking her. “I mean I can’t give you as much as your firm was giving you, but we can work something out.”

  Nick was looking at me and nodding his head. I shook my head back at him. Iris is going to kill me for this.

  Alexis’ face brightened. “Oh, thank god,” she said. “I was thinking that I’d have to live off of social security disability or something. Could you imagine? One pair of shoes, and my monthly check would be gone.”

  Just what I didn’t want to hear.

  I did silent calculations in my head. Let’s see, Alexis is 33. She might live another fifty years. That would be around $12 million over the course of her lifetime. Yeah, that’s doable.

  I turned on my phone and called Iris, but her phone went straight to voice-mail. Of course, she was in her deposition, and she couldn’t have her phone on. I prayed that she would understand. But I knew that she would. Like Nick said, Iris cared little about money. And this really isn’t a lot of money, in the big scheme of things. Nick was also right that I would have more money than I would know what to do with after my father passed. So, what did I care?

  Alexis’ name was finally called. We went to the desk that did the bed assignments, and Alexis was given a bed number and a private code that people had to use to come and see her. She looked at us. “Do you guys mind staying with me for a few hours? I don’t want to be alone.”

  “I really have to go and see my wife,” I said. “Today’s an important day for her.”

  Alexis gave me a look and hung her head. “Ok, then” she said. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

  God, she knows how to manipulate me. She knew just how to push my buttons. “Ok, ok, I’ll come and stay with you for a little while. But only for a little while, then I have to be shuffling off to Buffalo.” I turned to Nick. “You’re staying if I’m staying.”

  “Cool,” he said. “Let’s go.”

  At that, we got on the elevator and headed to her assigned floor. Then we went to her room, which was a private room that consisted of a hospital bed, a television and little else. Still, this place costs around $3,000 a day, more than the gorgeous drug-treatment place Iris stayed in. It’s a crime, really, how much these mental health facilities charge, considering the paltry services they provide. Three hots and a cot costs more than all of the pampering and services that Iris received in Beverly Hills.

  “Ryan,” Alexis said. “
I really hate to ask this, because I know that you have a new wife and new baby at home. But could I stay with you guys just until I get stabilized?”

  Oh, hell no. Hell to the no. “Alexis, that’s not possible. You’re pushing your luck, here. Iris won’t be happy to know that I have agreed to support you, and she really won’t be happy with your moving in with us. Besides, we just got rid of Natalie. No room at the Inn.”

  Alexis pouted. “Well, I can’t stay with Nick, here. He didn’t make sure that I was med compliant, which is why I had my relapse in the first place.”

  I looked at Nick. “What?” he said. “I’m not her baby-sitter.”

  “No,” I said. “You’re her enabler. You didn’t think it was the least bit weird the way that she was acting?”

  “Hey,” he said. “No offense, but you grew up around crazy. I didn’t. I don’t know the first thing about handling people with mental illnesses.”

  “I did not grow up around crazy. My mother left when I was very young, or did you forget that?”

  “True, but your father wasn’t exactly playing with all his marbles, either.”

  “Be that as it may, you still should’ve been paying more attention. You’ve always known about her illness.”

  “I’m not her babysitter,” he repeated.

  I sighed. I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him.

  “Well,” Alexis said. “Can I stay with you three?”

  Criminy. I thought about all the possibilities. Alexis used to leave the house with the door wide open. If she did that this time, the dogs could run away. And my daughter is going to wonder what the hell is going on with all these people coming and going from the house. I can’t do that to her. And Iris…sweet Iris, with the infinite patience. Her patience could very well run out, and who could blame her?

  I really hated being put on the spot like this.

  “No,” I said. “You’re just going to have to go into a group home or something. I mean, come on, the last time you had a relapse, it took you like a month to get stabilized. You’re telling me that I have to ask my new wife if my ex-wife can stay with us for a month. I mean, really? Seriously?”

  “Iris won’t mind,” she said sweetly. “I know that I give you a hard time about her, but she really is a sweet girl.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “But you’re asking me to let you stay with us, when you know that you’re going to be staying up for days, crying non-stop, talking incessantly, and running in and out of the house at all hours of the night. You get violent, too. Not to mention you have a bad habit of sneaking in drugs. I have a new daughter at home, as well. I don’t know Alexis, it’s not a good idea.”

  She pouted again. God, why does she put me in these predicaments? I helped her get stabilized the last time, but Iris and I had briefly broken up during that time, so Iris’ feelings were not a factor.

  Now they would be.

  Iris comes first.

  I finally just said “I’ll talk to Iris when I get home.”

  “That’s all I can ask,” she said.

  So, I thought to myself, I have to ask my wife if she doesn’t mind if I basically adopt my ex-wife. Become her financial supporter and her caretaker.

  Iris is going to love this. Just love it. She didn’t sign on for my crazy life. She signed on to be with me, and, in return, I promised to love her and cherish her all the days of our lives. Our wedding vows didn’t include her agreeing to live with my ex-wife, not to mention the fact that she lived with Natalie, who was the possible mother of my child.

  She didn’t sign on for this.

  On the other hand, if somebody didn’t take care of Alexis, she would never get stabilized, which would cause even more problems for everybody around her for a long time. And Nick had proved that he didn’t want the responsibility for her.

  To be fair, Nick had enough on his plate.

  But so did I.

  “Listen,” Nick whispered. “If you don’t take in Alexis, then she’s going to be out on the streets. She can’t come back to my house. I’m pretty much done.”

  Great. Just great.

  At that, I turned on the phone and tried to call Iris. Her phone went straight to voice-mail again. I looked at the clock – 4:30. She said that her deposition was scheduled until 5. I turned the phone off again, and planned to call her again around 5.

  But the three of us ended up watching a movie in the TV room, and I lost track of time. Before I knew it, it was 6 O’Clock. “Ok, Alexis,” I said. “I really have to get home. I always eat dinner with my wife and daughter.”

  “Ok, then,” she said. “I hope to see you both soon.”

  I nodded. “You’re going to be ok,” I said.

  And, at that, Nick and I left Alexis’ room and started for home.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  Iris

  I froze when I saw Andrew in my house, holding my screaming daughter. I was too much in shock, momentarily, to do much of anything. Then, a second or two later, I noticed that he had a gun in his left hand. He was holding Dalilah in his right arm. He looked at me with an impassive look, but he was massaging his gun. Then he narrowed his eyes.

  How did he get in here? What about the dogs? Then I heard them barking in the backyard. Also, I set the alarm before I left the house this morning, I know I did. Didn’t I? That didn’t matter, the fact is that he is here, and he had my daughter. With a gun in his hand. Crazy or no, I would imagine that he could cock his gun and kill Dalilah before I could take a single step towards him. Once again, my brain was able to think clearly, even in the face of the most unimaginable circumstance. I had been in such a situation before, with Rochelle, and my mind was also clear then. I knew that the situation at hand would require me to think coherently, because if I did anything out of panic, my daughter was dead.

  I knew it.

  “Andrew, darling, it’s so good to see you,” I said.

  “Cut the bullshit, Cherry. Who is this?” he asked, taking his gun and pointing it to the screaming Dalilah. I prayed that she wouldn’t start calling for me. I had to convince Andrew that Dalilah was somebody who was not my daughter. So far, she was only screaming and crying. Please, baby, please do not say mama. Please don’t say mama.

  “That’s the neighbor’s daughter,” I said. “Her mother is Helena. What happened to her?”

  “I sent her away,” he said.

  Away. I hoped that her body wasn’t in the house somewhere.

  “Away, love? I have to get Dalilah back to her.”

  Dalilah started going m-m-m-m-m-m, while looking right at me. Andrew looked at her, then looked at me suspiciously.

  “See, honey, she’s calling for her mama. She’s wondering where she is. I have to get her back to her mama,” I said lightly.

  “You’re not going anywhere, you stupid fucking slut. I know what you did. You’re gonna pay.”

  “Which thing, honey? What are you talking about?”

  “You know. Where is he?”

  “He?”

  “Yeah, the guy you fucked before you left me. Where is he?” His face was getting redder by the second, and he was shaking. His eyes were bugging out a little, and some spittle was on the corner of his mouth.

  “Give me Dalilah and I’ll tell you.”

  He just looked at me, his face contorted.

  “Ok, fine, I won’t tell you then. You can just guess.”

  “You will tell me right now!” he raged.

  “Give me the baby, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Otherwise, you’ll never get to know where he is.”

  He looked at me, shaking, then handed me Dalilah. I had her in my arms, then I immediately felt the gun on the small of my back. I had to get out of this alive, or else she won’t survive, either. “Honey, I have to call Dalilah’s father to come and get her, since you won’t tell me where her mother is.”

  He nodded, then jabbed the gun further into my skin. “No funny business,” he said.

  I made my way ove
r to my purse, with Dalilah screaming and pulling my hair, going m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. Andrew’s gun remained on the small of my back.

  Should I try to call Ryan? His phone had been turned off all morning and afternoon, probably because the hospital wouldn’t allow him to have it on. If I call him and his phone is turned off again, that would be my only chance to contact somebody to come and get our daughter. I would have blown my one chance to get her somewhere safe, because I doubted that Andrew would let me make more than one phone call.

  I needed to get her someplace safe. If she was somewhere safe, then I could play more high stakes gambling here. Otherwise, I would have to play everything completely conservatively, and that probably wouldn’t work.

  I had to get her somewhere safe if either of us was to have a chance.

  Daniel. I called his number, silently praying. He answered on the second ring. “Daniel,” I said, my voice breezy.

  “Yeah, Iris, what do you need?” he asked.

  “Come and get Dalilah, please.”

  Daniel knew better than to ask why. One thing about him, he’s good at following orders without having lengthy explanations. That’s part of his job description.

  “I’ll be right there,” he said.

  I smiled at Andrew. “Her father will be here in around 5 minutes. Then we can talk. Sorry, but it is difficult to have a conversation with a screaming brat in my arms.” I hoped against hope that I was acting like his wife. I had no idea if she referred to children as brats, but my instinct was guiding me here.

  He nodded. “Ok, but after her dad gets here, you’re gonna give me answers.”

  Daniel arrived after the longest 5 minutes of my life. Andrew and I were in a staring contest, with him pointing the gun so that a bullet would hit both Dalilah and me if he were to fire. Dalilah was calming down. Crap! Now that she was calming, what would happen if she started screaming again when she goes with Daniel? She knows Daniel, so maybe it will be ok. Her head was on my shoulder, and she was sucking her thumb.

  I saw Daniel drive up in Ryan’s Jaguar. Andrew saw him, too, because he was looking out the window with me. “Get out there,” Andrew said. “Don’t let him come to the door. And I’m gonna know if you’re tipping him off about me being in here, so if I see any kind of body language or facial expressions that tip me off that you’re telling him about me, I will snipe all three of you in the driveway.”