Complete Works of F Marion Crawford

by F. Marion Crawford

  “I am very glad I took your advice,” he said. “I am a very happy man. Mamie has accepted me.”

  “Has she taken the whole morning to make up her mind about so simple a matter?” asked Totty archly.

  “Well, not all the morning,” George answered. “We had one or two ideas to exchange afterwards. Totty — no, I cannot call my mother-in-law Totty, it is too absurd! Cousin Charlotte — will that do? Very well, cousin Charlotte, you must telegraph for Sherry’s — I beg his pardon, for Mr. Trimm’s consent. Where is he?”

  “Here — see for yourself,” said Totty holding up to his eyes a sheet of paper on which was written a short cable.

  “Trimm. Carlsbad, Bohemia. Mamie engaged George Wood. Wire consent. Totty.”

  “You see how sure I was of her. I wrote this while you were out there — it is true, you gave me time.”

  “Sure of her, and of your husband,” said George, surprised by the form of the message.

  “Oh, I have no doubts about him,” answered Mrs. Trimm with a light laugh. “He thinks you are perfection, you know.”

  The reply came late that night, short, sharp and business-like.

  “Fix wedding-day. Returning. Sherry.”

  It was read by Totty with a sort of delirious scream of triumph, the first genuine expression she had permitted herself since her efforts had been crowned with success.

  “It is too good to be believed,” said Mamie aloud, as she laid her head on the pillow.

  “I would never have believed it,” said George thoughtfully, as he turned from his open window where he had been standing an hour.

  CHAPTER XXIII.

  “WE HAD BETTER say nothing about it for the present,” said Totty to George on the following day. “It will only cause complications, and it will be much easier when we are all in town.”

  The two were seated together in the little morning-room, discussing the future and telling over what had happened. George was in a frame of mind which he did not recognise, and he seemed laughable in his own eyes, though he was far from being unhappy. His surprise at the turn events had taken had not yet worn off and he could not help being amused at himself for having known his own mind so little. At the same time he was grateful to Totty for the part she had played and was ready to yield to all her wishes in the matter. With regard to announcing the engagement, she told him that it was quite unnecessary to do so yet, and that, among other reasons, it would be better in the eyes of the world to publish the social banns after Sherrington had returned from abroad. Moreover, if the engagement were made known at once, it would be in accordance with custom that George should leave the house and find a lodging in the nearest town.

  “I cannot tell why, I am sure,” said Mrs. Trimm, “but it is always done, and I should be so sorry if you had to leave us just now.”

  “It would not be pleasant,” George answered, thoughtfully. He had wished to inform Constance as soon as possible.

  So the matter was decided, somewhat to his dissatisfaction in one respect, but quite in accordance with his inclinations in all others. And it was thereupon further agreed that as soon as the weather permitted, they would all return to town, and make active preparations for the wedding. Totty could see no reason whatever why the day should not be fixed early in November. She declared emphatically that she hated long engagements, and that in this case especially there could be no object in putting off the marriage. She assured Mamie that by using a little energy everything could be made ready in plenty of time, and she promised that there should be no hitch in the proceedings.

  The week that followed the events last narrated slipped pleasantly and quickly away. As George had said at once, he was a very happy man; that is to say, he believed himself to be so, because the position in which he found himself was new, agreeable and highly flattering to his vanity. He could not but believe that he was taken into the family of his cousin solely on his own merits. Being in total ignorance of the fortune between which and himself the only barrier was the enfeebled health of an invalid old man, he very naturally attributed Totty’s anxiety to see him marry her daughter to the causes she enumerated. He was still modest enough to feel that he was being very much overrated, and to fear lest he might some day prove a disappointment to his future wife and her family; for the part of the desirable young man was new to him, and he did not know how he should acquit himself in the performance of it. But the delicious belief that he was loved for himself, as he was, gave energy to his good resolutions and maintained at a genial warmth the feelings he entertained for her who loved him.

  He must not be judged too harshly. In offering to marry Mamie, he had felt that he was doing his duty as an honourable man, and he assured himself as well as he could that he was able to promise the most sincere affection and unchanging fidelity in return for her passionate love. It was in one respect a sacrifice, for it meant that he must act in contradiction to the convictions of his whole life. He had always believed in love, and he had frequently preached that true and mutual passion was the only foundation for lasting happiness in marriage. At the moment of acceding to Mrs. Trimm’s very clearly expressed proposal, George had felt that Mamie would be to him hereafter what she had always been hitherto, neither more nor less. He did not wish to marry her, and if he agreed to do so, it was because he was assured that her happiness depended upon it, and that he had made himself responsible for her happiness by his conduct towards her. Being once persuaded of this, and assured that he alone had done the mischief, he was chivalrous enough to have married the girl, though she had been ugly, ill-educated and poor, instead of being rich, refined and full of charm, and to all outward appearances he would have married her with as good a grace and would have behaved towards her afterwards with as much consideration as though he had loved her. But the fact that Mamie possessed so many real and undeniable graces and advantages had made the sacrifice seem singularly easy, and the twenty-four hours that succeeded the moment of forming the resolution, had sufficed to destroy the idea of sacrifice altogether. Hitherto, George had fought against the belief that he was loved, and had done his best to laugh at it. Now, he was at liberty to accept that belief and to make it one of the chief pleasures of his thoughts. It flattered his heart, as Totty’s professed appreciation of his fine qualities flattered his intelligence. In noble natures flattery produces a strong desire to acquit the debt which seems to be created by the acceptance of undue praise. Men of such temper do not like to receive and give nothing in return, nor can they bear to be thought braver, more generous or more gifted than they are. Possessing that high form of self-esteem which is honourable pride, they feel all the necessity of being in their own eyes worthy of the estimation they enjoy in the opinion of other men. The hatred of all false positions is strong in them and they are not quick to believe that they are justly valued by the world.

  George found it easy to imagine that he loved the young girl, when he had once admitted the fact that she loved him. It was indeed the pleasantest deception he had ever submitted to, or encouraged himself in accepting. He hid from himself the fact that his heart had never been satisfied, considering that it was better to take the realities of a brilliant future than to waste time and sentiment in dreaming of illusions. There was nothing to be gained by weighing the undeveloped capabilities of his affections against the manifestations of them which had hitherto been thrust upon his notice. He was doing what he believed to be best for every one as well as for himself, and no good could come of a hypercriticism of his sensibilities. Mamie was supremely happy, and it was pleasant to feel that he was at once the cause and the central figure in her happiness. The course of true love should run pleasantly for her at least, and its course would not be hard for him to follow.

  A fortnight passed before he thought of fulfilling his promise and visiting Grace. The attraction was not great, but he felt a certain curiosity to know how she was recovering from the shock she had sustained. Once more he crossed the river and walked up the long avenue
to the old house. As he was passing through the garden he unexpectedly came upon Constance, who was wandering idly through the deserted walks.

  “It is so long since we have met!” she exclaimed, with an intonation of gladness, as she put out her hand.

  “Yes,” George answered. “I came once to see your sister, but you were not with her. How is she?”

  “She is well — as well as any one could expect. I have tried to persuade her to go away, but she will not, though I am sure it is bad for her to stay here.”

  “But you cannot stay for ever. It is already autumn — it will soon be winter.”

  “I cannot tell,” Constance answered indifferently enough. “I confess that I care very little whether we pass the winter here or in town, provided Grace is contented.”

  “You ought to consider yourself to some extent. You look tired, and you must weary of all this sadness and dismal solitude. It stands to reason that you should need a change.”

  “No change would make any difference to me,” said Constance, walking slowly along the path and swinging her parasol slowly from side to side.

  “Do you mean that you are ill?” George asked.

  “No indeed! I am never really ill. But it is a waste of breath to talk of such things. Come into the house. Grace will be so glad to see you; she has been anticipating your visit for a long time.”

  “Presently,” said George. “The afternoons are still long and it is pleasant here in the garden.”

  “Do you want to talk to me?” asked the young girl, with the slightest intonation of irony.

  “I wish to tell you something — something that will surprise you.”

  “I am not easily surprised. Is it about yourself?”

  “Yes — it is not announced yet, but I want you to know it. You will tell no one, of course. I am going to be married.”

  “Indeed!” exclaimed Constance, with a slight start.

  “Yes. I am sure you will be glad to hear it. I am engaged to be married to my cousin, Mamie Trimm.”

  Constance was looking so ill, already, that it could not be said that she turned pale at the announcement. She walked quietly on, gazing before her steadily at some distant object.

  “It is rather sudden, I suppose,” said George in a tone that sounded unpleasantly apologetic in his own ears.

  “Rather,” Constance answered with an effort. “I confess that I am astonished. You have my best congratulations.”

  She paused, and reflected that her words were very cold. She felt an odd chill in herself as well as in her language, and tried to shake it off.

  “If you are happy, I am very glad,” she said. “It was not what I expected, but I am very glad.”

  “Thanks. But, Constance, what did you expect — something very different? Why?”

  “Nothing — nothing — it is very natural, of course. When are you to be married?” All the coldness had returned to her voice as she put the question.

  “I believe it is to be in November. It will certainly be before Christmas. Mr. Trimm is expected to-morrow or the next day. He cabled his consent.”

  “Yes? Well, I am glad it has all gone so smoothly. I feel cold — is it not chilly here? Let us go in and find Grace.”

  She began to walk more quickly and in a few moments they reached the house, not having exchanged any further words. As they entered the door she stopped and turned to her companion.

  “Grace is in the drawing-room,” she said. “She wants to see you alone — so, good-bye. I hope with all my heart that you will be happy — my dear friend. Good-bye.”

  She turned and left him standing in the great hall. He watched her retreating figure as she entered the staircase which led away to the right. He had expected something different in her reception of the news, and did not know whether to feel disappointed or not. She had received the announcement with very great calmness, so far as he could judge. That at least was a satisfaction. He did not wish to have his equanimity disturbed at present by any great exhibition of feeling on the part of any one but himself. As he opened the door before him he wondered whether Constance were really glad or sorry to learn that he was to be married.

  Grace rose and came towards him. He could not help thinking that she looked like a beautiful figure of fate as she stood in the middle of the room and held out her hand to take his. She seemed taller and more imposing since her husband’s death and there was something interesting in her face which had not been there in old times, a look of greater strength, combined with a profound sadness, which would have attracted the attention of any student of humanity.

  “I am very glad to see you — it is so good of you to come,” she said.

  “I could not do less, since I had promised — even apart from the pleasure it gives me to see you. I met your sister in the garden. She told me she hoped that you would be induced to go away for a time.”

  Grace shook her head.

  “Why should I go away?” she asked. “I am less unhappy here than I should be anywhere else. There is nothing to take me to any other place. Why not stay here?”

  “It would be better for you both. Your sister is not looking well. Indeed I was shocked by the change in her.”

  “Really? Poor child! It is not gay for her. I am very poor company. You thought she was changed, then?”

  “Very much,” George answered, thoughtfully.

  “And it is a long time since you have seen her. Poor Constance! It will end in my going away for her sake rather than my own. I wonder what would be best for her, after all.”

  “A journey — a change of some sort,” George suggested. He found it very hard to talk with the heartbroken young widow, though he could not help admiring her, and wondering how long it would be before she took another husband.

  “No,” Grace answered. “That is not all. She is unsettled, uncertain in all she does. If she goes on in this way she will turn into one of those morbid, introspective women who do nothing but imagine that they have committed great sins and are never satisfied with their own repentance.”

  “She is too sensible for that — —”

  “No, she is not sensible, where her conscience is concerned. I wish some one would come and take her out of herself — some one strong, enthusiastic, who would shake her mind and heart free of all this nonsense.”

  “In other words,” said George with a smile, “you wish that your sister would marry.”

  “Yes, if she would marry the right man — a man like you.”

  “Like me!” George exclaimed in great surprise.

  “Yes — since I have said it. I did not mean to tell you so. I wish she would marry you after all. You will say that I am capricious and you will laugh at the way in which I have changed my mind. I admit it. I made a mistake. I misjudged you. If it were all to be lived over again, instead of paying no attention to what happened, as I did during the last year, I would make her marry you. It would have been much better. I made a great mistake in letting her alone.”

  “I had never expected to hear you say that,” said George, looking into her brown eyes and trying to read her thoughts.

  “I am not given to talking about myself, as you may have noticed, but I once told you that my only virtue was honesty. What I think, I say, if there is any need of saying anything. I told you that I never hated you, and it is quite true. I disliked you and I did not want you for a brother-in-law. In the old days, more than a year ago, Constance and I used to quarrel about you. She admired everything you did, and I saw no reason to do so. That was before you published your first book, when you used to write so many articles in the magazines. She thought them all perfection, and I thought some of them were trash and I said so. I daresay you think it is not very complimentary of me to tell you what I think and thought. Perhaps it is not. There is no reason why I should make compliments after what I have said. You have written much that I have liked since, and you have made a name for yourself. My judgment may be worthless, but those who can judge have told me tha
t some things you have done will live. But that is not the reason why I have changed my mind about you. If you were still writing those absurd little notices in the papers, I should think just as well of you, yourself, as I do now. You are not what I thought you were — a clever, rather weak, vain creature without the strength of being enthusiastic, nor the courage to be cynical. That is exactly what I thought. You will forgive me if I tell you so frankly, will you not? I found out that you are strong, brave and honourable. I do not expect that you will ever think again of marrying my sister, but if you do I shall be glad, and if you do not, I shall always be sorry that I did not use all my influence in making Constance accept you. That is a long speech, but every word of it is true, and I am glad I have told you just what I think.”

  George was silent for some seconds. There were assuredly many people in the world from whom he would have resented such an exposition of opinion in regard to himself. But Grace was not one of these. He respected her judgment in a way he could not explain, and he felt that all she had said confirmed his own ideas about her character.

  “I am glad you have told me,” he answered at length. “I have changed my mind about you, too. I used to feel that you were the opposing barrier between your sister and me, and that but for you we should have been happily married long ago. I hated you accordingly, with a fine unreasoning hatred. You were very frank with me when you came to give me her decision. I believed you at the moment, but when I was out of the house I began to think that you had arranged the whole thing between you, and that you were the moving power. It was natural enough, but my common sense told me that I was wrong within a month of the time. I have liked your frankness, in my heart, all along. It has been the best thing in the whole business.”