Crossing Center Ice

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Watching them soak up the attention they were being given by Kenton and his brothers was a stark reminder that even though she tried her best to be both mother and father to Benjie, she wasn’t succeeding completely. That was a hard pill to swallow.

  As they finished up their ice cream, Avery was more conscious than ever of the man at her side. She wanted to hate him for coming into her life and upending it the way he had. Except…he probably had no clue as to the impact he’d had on her and the boys. And while she may have had an impact on his life when it came to his rehab, there was going to be a day when he left Winnipeg behind once again. He’d left it all behind before, and there was no doubt he’d do it again. And when he did, he’d be leaving a hole that would be very hard to fill.

  How had she allowed this to happen?

  “Okay, you guys lectured me when I was showing an interest in Maya,” Gabe said from his seat behind Kenton in the car on the way home. “Why aren’t you doing the same thing to hockey boy?”

  Kenton rolled his eyes. Actually, he had been getting a non-verbal lecture from Tristan all evening. Well, maybe not all evening. Just since he gave Avery that hug.

  “First of all,” Mitch began, “I’m not entirely sure that Kenton is pursuing Avery. Or if he is interested in her, it seems that at least part of him is aware that it’s probably not a good idea.”

  “When did you all become mind-readers?” Kenton asked, crossing his arms as he pressed back into his seat.

  “Are you denying that you have an interest in Avery?” Gabe asked, giving his seat a thump. “Beyond that of her being your therapist?”

  Kenton wasn’t ready to think about the stuff the guys were questioning him about. It was much easier to delude himself when others weren’t holding a mirror up in front of him. The guys were forcing him to think about his feelings and his actions toward Avery, and he really didn’t want to.

  “She’s a friend,” Kenton said, giving them the same excuse for getting closer to her as he’d given Avery. “And her boy happens to be a fan of mine.”

  “No accounting for taste there,” Gabe said, his tone droll. Both twins chuckled as only brothers could when they were ribbing each other.

  “I think I’m more worried about Benjie than Avery,” Tristan said in a quiet voice.

  “Why’s that?” Mitch asked, obviously having no problem hearing their brother’s lowered tone.

  “He already has a serious case of hero-worship where Kenton is concerned. What happens when he sees things like Kenton hugging his mom? Where do you think the thoughts of a ten-year-old boy who has no father will go? Maybe he’ll go from viewing Kenton as a hockey hero to something much more personal.”

  “He’s not wrong,” Mitch said. “I mean, how long after we met Emily did it take for some of us to view her as a potential mom?”

  “She was my mom from the first day she sat me at her table with a glass of milk and a cookie and let me work at my own speed to do my homework,” Tristan said, his voice cracking. “But she was in a position to become a mom to us. Kenton isn’t in a place where he could be a father to Benjie, even if he wanted to be.”

  Anger flared within Kenton at hearing them discuss this like he wasn’t even there. Gritting his teeth, he said, “I’m well aware of the pitfalls. I’m not an idiot.”

  “Then stop acting like one,” Tristan said in a surprisingly harsh tone. “You’ve said more than once that you have no room in your life for a serious relationship. If you’re just looking for someone to sleep with, it’s not Avery. That may be what your other relationships were like, but I can almost guarantee that never in a million years is that what she would want. You have another season beyond this one on your contract, and since you’ve not seriously mentioned retiring, I assume you’re still going to play. There is no room for Avery and Benjie in your life as it stands. Don’t pretend that there is, only to hurt them in the long run. They deserve better.”

  A hand shot through the opening between the two front seats to clap Tristan on the shoulder, and Gabe said, “Wow, bro. Way to look out for the lady. And for what it’s worth, I agree with you.”

  “Wait a second,” Kenton said, still trying to keep his temper from getting out of hand. He was having a harder time reining it in than he did when he took a dirty hit on the ice. “Do you have feelings for Avery?”

  “What?” The SUV swerved slightly as Tristan jerked briefly to look at him. “No. I don’t have feelings for her, but I do think she’s nice, and so are her kid and brother. In a few months, you’ll be heading back to your life in LA which doesn’t have room for Avery and Benjie.”

  “Just lay off,” Kenton said. “I’ll make sure no one gets hurt.”

  “Dude! I had no idea you’d been granted the ability to control others’ emotions. Way to go!” The sarcasm was heavy in Gabe’s voice, and it made Kenton want to go gloves off with his brother. They were most alike in their personality, and sometimes that meant they got on each other’s nerves more than the others.

  “We’ve all had a say,” Mitch pointed out. “And I think Kenton understands our concern—or at least I hope he does—so why don’t we just let this convo die.”

  “Nope, not gonna let it die,” Gabe said. “I’ll let it rest for now, but I reserve the right to revisit it if circumstances warrant it.”

  “You really have no right to this conversation at all,” Kenton said through gritted teeth.

  “Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, and I’m thankful for it because it made me step back and rethink my life and my priorities. The accident may have forced my hand a bit, but I was already making changes that would have allowed me to offer Maya the kind of relationship she deserved. If you have any type of feelings for Avery, hopefully, this conversation will do the same for you.”

  Kenton didn’t reply, and no one else said anything further either. In spite of the heat blowing from the vents, the interior of the car had turned as frosty as the air outside.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “Don’t bother denying it, Avery Elizabeth Walker. I had a front seat to it all.”

  Avery let out a sigh and rubbed her temples. She’d anticipated this conversation which had made her take her time talking with Benjie as he got ready for bed. When she couldn’t put it off any longer, she’d come downstairs to find a cup of tea and an upset mother waiting for her.

  She reached out to pick up her mug, slipping off the small ceramic lid that her mom had placed on it to keep it warm. After she took a sip, she settled back into the chair and regarded her mom over the rim of the mug.

  “Did you think I was just going to ignore what I saw?” her mom asked, her brows drawn tightly together over her light blue eyes.

  “No. I didn’t.” She had hoped, but realistically, she’d known it was unlikely. “It didn’t mean anything, Mom. We were just celebrating Benjie’s goal and the team’s win.”

  Her mom scoffed as she gave a shake of her head. “I could see both of your faces during that embrace.”

  Avery had been so shocked at the hug that she hadn’t even thought about the angle of her phone which she’d been using to FaceTime with her mom, showing her the end of the game since it had been so exciting. So yeah, her mom had been witness to the emotions that had no doubt crossed her face when she’d looked up at Kenton as he’d hugged her. It hadn’t been the clearest of angles for her mom, but obviously, it had been clear enough that whatever she’d seen had caused her alarm.

  “You swore you’d never get involved with a professional athlete again.” The distress was clear in her mom’s voice, with good reason. “Why would you change your mind?”

  “I haven’t changed my mind, Mom,” Avery said, trying to keep her tone reassuring. “I was just startled, that was all. And Kenton is only hanging around for Benjie. We’re just friends…and patient and therapist.”

  She gave another scoff and a shake of her head. “You keep telling yourself that, but even that isn’
t a good thing. Where do you see this going with Benjie?”

  “I imagine Kenton will come to a few games, maybe some practices. It’s possible he will take Benjie to another Jets game. I don’t know.”

  “And you’re okay with all that?”

  “It would make Benjie happy,” Avery said with a shrug then took another sip of tea. “And Elliot too.”

  “And what do you plan to do when Benjie decides that Kenton would make good father material?”

  Avery frowned. That thought had crossed her mind—of course it had—but Benjie knew that Kenton’s life was in LA, and their life was in Winnipeg. Surely that would keep him from imagining that things could be different for them.

  “You thought he would be good father material too. Just remember that.”

  “Kenton is different,” Avery said automatically then frowned. At least she hoped that he was. “Even if I was interested in a relationship with him, it would be because Kenton is different from Julian.”

  “How can you tell? He’s injured right now. His career is on the line, just like Julian’s was. Do you have any guarantee that he won’t go the same route Julian did in order to regain the strength he needs to play? Will he be able to ignore the substances that are out there that could help him?”

  Avery caught her lip between her teeth as she considered her mom’s words. It was true that there were some similarities in their situations. Julian had also been trying to recover from a shoulder injury in order to get back to his career as a quarterback in the NFL. The weight of his father’s legacy had rested heavily on his shoulders, which had driven his desperation. She didn’t sense that same level of desperation in Kenton.

  “I don’t know, Mom.” It struck her in that moment how unreal it was that she had ended up connecting with two professional athletes—even though they were in different sports. How was this her life? “I just know that the circumstances are a bit different. You know that Julian was dealing with a ton of pressure from his dad as well as the team, plus, he was younger. I don’t think Steve Callaghan is putting any kind of pressure on Kenton. At least I haven’t seen it.”

  The fights she’d witnessed between Julian and his father had been epic. She and Julian’s mom, a statuesque former supermodel whose smooth alabaster skin and dark hair had given her stunning good looks that hadn’t dulled with time, had tried to fade into the background whenever their husbands had gone at it.

  It had been a whirlwind romance between her and Julian Marcus when they’d met during a trip she’d made to New York City with Caroline to celebrate their twenty-first birthdays. They’d met and married within three months, much to the dismay of her parents. They hadn’t approved and had tried their best to talk her out of it, but she’d been determined that Julian was her soul mate, and they were destined to be together.

  A year later and she’d discovered just how wrong she’d been. And she’d nearly paid for her mistake with her life.

  Avery slipped her fingers under the edge of the sleeve of her sweater, feeling the scars on her arm. Though she’d allowed them to repair the damage done to her face, she’d kept the scars on her arms and torso as a reminder of what had come from a rash decision.

  “I’ll have a talk with Benjie, and I’ll be more careful about his interactions with Kenton.”

  “And your interactions with the man?” her mom asked.

  “Well, it’s not like I can cut off all contact with Kenton. I’m still working with him. I can’t suddenly just not have anything to do with the man.”

  “I understand, but guard your heart, Avery. It’s not just the potential of what happened with Julian happening again, but from what I’ve read, Kenton doesn’t lead a life that’s glorifying to God.”

  Avery had figured that out too. Regardless of how important faith was to his family, Kenton had taken a different path. “I know, Mom.”

  All of it weighed heavily on her heart as she finished off her tea then cleaned up their mugs. As she made her way through her night-time routine, she wondered how to deal with Kenton at Benjie’s practice the next day. She’d made the mistake of mentioning to Benjie that Kenton might attend the practice, and the boy had been flying high. There was no way she could tell Kenton not to come. So she was just going to have to suck it up and deal with him being there.

  She crawled into bed and read through her devotions, considering as she did so what her mom had said about protecting her heart. She felt like she had already done that, but there was no doubt that the walls she’d placed around her heart had suffered some cracks since she’d met Kenton. It was time to shore them up.

  When her phone chirped to let her know a text had arrived, Avery picked her phone up from where it was laying on the bed beside her. She frowned as she read the message, a pit of disappointment forming in her stomach.

  Kenton: Hey ~ I’m not going to be able to make it tomorrow for the practice. Sorry about that. Maybe another time.

  Avery stared at the message for a moment, trying to see it as a positive thing. At least she wasn’t the one who had to ask him to stay away. Benjie was going to be disappointed though, and she hated that.

  Sure. No problem. See you on Monday. Have a good weekend.

  Kenton: You too.

  And that was that.

  Avery clutched her phone, trying to figure out why his text had upset her. For all she knew, he couldn’t come to Benjie’s practice because they were having a family breakfast. Reading more into it was ridiculous. And if there was more to his change of plans, it was probably for the best. As long as it didn’t make things awkward between them at work.

  Monday morning as she headed for the gym, Avery was determined to act professional and not allow any of the conversation with her mom to impact how she acted. Even though Benjie had been super disappointed with Kenton’s decision not to come to his practice, they’d managed to have an okay weekend. She and the boys had gone to a Christmas program at their church on Sunday evening which she’d enjoyed.

  It was hard to believe that Christmas was just a couple of weeks away. Thanks to online shopping, she and her mom had found everything they’d wanted for the boys. Given that money wasn’t super plentiful, they’d both agreed they’d rather spend their money on gifts for the boys instead of on things for each other. Neither of them really needed anything anyway.

  The worst part about Christmas, though, was the reminder of who was missing from their family. This would be their fourth Christmas without her dad, and it really never got any easier.

  Pushing aside her thoughts, Avery walked into the large building, greeting Cathy as she headed for the workout room. She’d arrived ahead of Gabe and Kenton, but Hunter was there, so they had a chance to talk over their plan of action for the week.

  Gabe walked into the room a few minutes later, looking like a black cloud was hanging over his head. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

  Hunter let out a sigh. “You guys fighting?”

  Gabe scowled. “More like a heated disagreement. He has such a hard head sometimes.”

  At that, Hunter chuckled. “You two are so alike.”

  “No, we’re not,” Gabe shot back. “He’s an arrogant, self-centered idiot who can’t see when he’s wrong.”

  “Yeah. Nothing like you at all,” Hunter said. “Well, maybe self-centered doesn’t totally apply anymore, but at one time it did. As did arrogant.”

  “Maligning me again, brother?” Kenton’s question was harshly spoken as he entered the room. Avery felt the weight of his gaze when he looked to where she sat with Hunter, his eyes narrowing.

  “It’s not maligning if it’s the truth.” Gabe dropped his bag on the floor and dug out the shoes he used to workout in.

  Hunter got to his feet. “Well, unless you want me to strap a pair of boxing gloves on each of you and let you settle this discussion that way, I suggest you table this argument until after we’re done here. Channel that anger and frustration into your workouts instead of wounding each other.”
>
  “Not sure that will work, but we’ll give it a go,” Gabe said with an angry glare at his brother.

  Avery watched as Kenton silently prepared himself for his workout. He’d removed his sweatpants to reveal the long athletic shorts that he preferred to wear when working out. He sat on the same bench she was on but nowhere near her.

  Was he just mad at Gabe or was she somehow caught up in whatever had caused their argument? Or maybe he was just mad at the world. That wouldn’t be surprising given his current circumstances, but it was going to make a workout challenging.

  As usual, he started out with her, doing whatever she asked without comment. The tension in his body wasn’t doing him any favors though.

  She rested a hand on his shoulder. “You need to relax.”

  He shot her an unreadable look before giving her a single nod. “Give me a minute.”

  Uncertain how long it would take, Avery returned to her seat on the bench to wait. She watched him as he walked around the room, intermittently shaking out his arms and legs, bouncing on his feet occasionally and tilting his head side to side while he rolled his shoulders. He reminded her a bit of a fighter getting ready for a match. She just hoped that this short break would pull him out of the wretched mindset he’d been in since he walked into the room.

  Hunter continued to work with Gabe on the other side of the large room. The bright overhead lights compensated for the lack of natural light coming in the windows that day. The clouds were heavy and gray, ready to spit out the snow that had been forecast for the afternoon. Between the weather and Kenton’s mood, Avery knew that this was going to be a day when she’d be very glad to get home. Hopefully, whatever this mood was with Gabe and Kenton, it hadn’t spilled over onto Emily.

  When Kenton returned to the spot where they’d been working, Avery got to her feet and joined him again. The look on his face had changed from one of agitation to one of focus. She didn’t think the agitation was gone, but at least he’d pushed it aside for the time being.